Second Person Narration

[Guest]

I lean to just this side of ambivalence since I have read several excellent stories that were done very well in second person, so I know this construction can be done very well. I can’t say I “hate” it or “despise” it or find it at all “amateurish.”

On the positive side, I may be a contrarian to some extent, since I find myself intrigued when I do come across a story and the brave soul attempting this feat, and in every instance, I complete the story to see how well the author pulls off this daunting task. And kudos to them for trying it. They knew it wasn’t going to be easy, and they deserve a read, at least from me.

On the negative side, I do find the POV extremely restrictive (the most restrictive), especially hindered by only a few spelling variations of the pronoun, singular and plural. I don't think I would ever attempt a story in second person. It takes some endurance to read a story replete with the invariant “you/yours” repetition channeled through that invisible finger pointing at the middle of the reader's breastbone.

So for me, it seems to be a POV that either does well, or fails miserably. Personally, I sometimes find its limited use appropriate in the BDSM genre, but even that can get boring after awhile.

For a new writer, my suggestion is third person, past tense, omniscient, which provides the greatest flexibility and freedom to test new wings.

But if you write an erotic story on Lit in second person, I just may give it a whirl!

 

[Otus de la Nuit]

so like, ya, you shoulda been there...

Newbie first time post jitters. Wheee!
mmkay, with that said...

I haven't seen anyone mention the possibility of writing second person without talking TO the object of your attention. Ah, but is it really second person then? I believe so.

Remember the last time you sat down and talked to your best friend? Were more of your sentences, "And then, you tripped clumsily over that last step," or "You should have seen her clumsy ass trip over that step!" If she was there, she already knows what happened, so realistically, you wouldn't tell her a story about it.

You might, however, tell her about something that she wasn't there to see. That doesn't mean your vision blurs as you begin one long account, like you're talking to a wall. You draw her in.

"So I asked. Can you believe it? I actually asked! At first I thought he would refuse. You know how stern he looks when he's thinking."

A letter to a friend, a message on an answering machine.. usually not about the person you're talking to, but directed to them no less.

The few times I've seen it done, it's been VERY effective. It usually ends up rather first persony, because the writer doesn't talk about "you" quite as much, and maybe that's why it works. All the awkwardness of perpetual youing and youring vanishes. It has many of the advantages of first and third person, but isn't "just the same ol' thing."

Also, it doesn't demand that "you" does anything. It asks you to recall, it wonders what your opinion is. Much less intrusive.

Might be considered cheating, as it doesn't require as much character development for "you," but it's also infinitely easier to develop "you" (the author doesn't have to make it generic enough to fit all of his/her readers, "you" is [are?] a defined character). It's made obvious to the reader (s)he is not "you," but is seeing something directed second person to someone else.

This seems to put the reader in a similar position to third person; (s)he hears what is (was, or will be) going on with one or more characters. The reader also has more than one character to draw on and fills in more blanks about the person it actually is addressed to.

I personally feel erotica really lends itself to this method. Something to try... or think about trying.. or look for... or completely forget.

 

[jfinn]

Re: so like, ya, you shoulda been there...

Newbie first time post jitters. Wheee!
mmkay, with that said...

I haven't seen anyone mention the possibility of writing second person without talking TO the object of your attention. Ah, but is it really second person then? I believe so.

Remember the last time you sat down and talked to your best friend? Were more of your sentences, "And then, you tripped clumsily over that last step," or "You should have seen her clumsy ass trip over that step!" If she was there, she already knows what happened, so realistically, you wouldn't tell her a story about it.

...The few times I've seen it done, it's been VERY effective. It usually ends up rather first persony, because the writer doesn't talk about "you" quite as much, and maybe that's why it works. All the awkwardness of perpetual youing and youring vanishes. It has many of the advantages of first and third person, but isn't "just the same ol' thing."

Hi Otus,

First, welcome to Lit. This sounds like an intriguing idea and you're right, it does seem to avoid most of the problems that you see with standard second person. Hope you're going to write it and if you do that you'll put a link up to it here.

Jayne

 

[dr_mabeuse]

A very good example of exactly this kind of thing was KillerMuffin's entry into the first Critics' Award contest (it won). Of course, I forget the name, so I'm a big help, but it was written as a ltter to a former lover talking about a new lover..

You should note, though, that in this case the sex described in the letter is simple first person, since the person who the letter's addressed to wasn't present.

The same effect that Otus suggests can be had by simply changing the verb tense in the second-person story to past tense. Second-person stories seem to invariably be written in present tense, which contribute to the feel of being 'ordered around'.

For me I'm afraid the second-person story will always sound kind of wistful and sad, as it's almost always the voice of the lonely masturbator having his fantasy.

---dr.M.

 

[DarlingNikki]

For me I'm afraid the second-person story will always sound kind of wistful and sad, as it's almost always the voice of the lonely masturbator having his fantasy.

---dr.M.

Doc - could it ever sound deliciously voyeuristic, as the voice of the hot, sexy masturbatrix having her fantasy?

(real question)