Sexless Marriages

[Dav2567]

Same problem

 

[LeeKee]

Don’t think I could put up with a sexless marriage. Fuck that. I figure I’m quite lucky to get lots of sex with my wife though I’m much kinkier than her, on the surface, my struggle is opening her up to more and more exploration. Guess every existence is relative. For those in sexless marriages I’d say brutal honesty and understanding is the key. Regretting not being brave and living true would be hard to deal with on our deathbed. Cheers and good luck!

Its absolutely a level of torture that should be viewed as a form of abuse. Due to being overseas, I cannot do anything legally about it. If I were stateside, this shit would be finalized by now.

 

[curioustxn]

214 posts in 7 years - - almost all lamenting a sexless marriage. When asked why they stay in a sexless marriage, the most common answer is: "I have too much to lose if I leave". A man has to ask himself - - which is more important, your physical possessions and wealth, or your happiness and self-worth? Is what you have really worth the misery?

 

[Looking4marriedbbw99]

Anyone else with this problem?
I have a high sex drive and the wife doesn't.
Looking for others with this problem, and possibly helping fill our needs.

Unfortunately im right there with you we Have been sexless in mt for 5 years now covid really messed wifes body up tested pos for over 2 years

 

[LeeKee]

214 posts in 7 years - - almost all lamenting a sexless marriage. When asked why they stay in a sexless marriage, the most common answer is: "I have too much to lose if I leave". A man has to ask himself - - which is more important, your physical possessions and wealth, or your happiness and self-worth? Is what you have really worth the misery?

Thanks for the analysis, but you have to also ask...do I really know whats going on. Im also dealing with someone who is Uber connected and conniving. So, thanks, but, you are assuming too much, too simplified.

 

[lifeis2short2b]

214 posts in 7 years - - almost all lamenting a sexless marriage. When asked why they stay in a sexless marriage, the most common answer is: "I have too much to lose if I leave". A man has to ask himself - - which is more important, your physical possessions and wealth, or your happiness and self-worth? Is what you have really worth the misery?

Spoken like someone with nothing to lose. If your in a brand new marriage what the hell were you thinking ? Should of known before you took the plunge.
Most of the alleged sex deprived have been in marriages for many years and this " sexless" relationship didn't just happen overnight, numerous reasons why, you can still love someone even though your sex life is sub par. A divorce usually rips the whole family apart, and to many thats not worth it, emotionally, physically and financially
So its not as easy as just get a divorce. My question is are you not having sex or not making love ? There is a difference. Besides health reasons most people need to look in the mirror to solve this problem. Unless your just a horny bastard and this is an excuse to stray.

 

[boxman11]

214 posts in 7 years - - almost all lamenting a sexless marriage. When asked why they stay in a sexless marriage, the most common answer is: "I have too much to lose if I leave". A man has to ask himself - - which is more important, your physical possessions and wealth, or your happiness and self-worth? Is what you have really worth the misery?

For most of us, there's a lot more in the picture than just the bedroom. Do I miss it yes, but when you look at everything, we have built together the family and life after 43 years, I can live in a sexless marriage.

 

[13Fantasies]

I so wish my husband could see this thread without knowing I am here, lol. He thinks we are the only couple in the world that doesn't have sex 2-3 times a week even though I showed him my group chat with friends about their sex lives. We have sex every 7-21 days. The only time that has been longer is when I have had a surgery where I am told no sex for 4-6 weeks.

Context: I had weight loss surgery which completely screwed up my hormones. I was a kinky, sex-all-the-time kind of gal when we met, and pretty much have been that way since I was 16. I have wanted sex most days, sometimes multiple times a day. But hormones.. they kill your sex drive if they get out of whack. I am fixing them. I feel more aroused the past few weeks than I have in months, BUT he is a fucking dick about it at times, which mentally shuts me off and men should know, the way to a woman's sex drive is her mind. (Not all- some women just don't want sex or won't get their hormones checked, or use sex as a weapon). I miss desiring having sex, but when you just have sex to avoid verbal and mental abuse, it really takes the appeal away.

From a female's point of view who has been on the other side (ex husband lost his sex drive due to low T, and it was a struggle, but I never held it against him or belittled him for it), if her issues are hormones, I do recommend hormone replacement therapy if you can afford it. It has helped, and I am sure most men on here are mostly kind, loving husbands, just upset their intimate lives have gone stale. I am sorry if sex is gone because she uses it as a weapon, but if it is health or hormone related, and you are compassionate about it, there is hope it will get better. Just my 2 cents having experienced both ends of the spectrum of sexless marriage.

I know that was part of my downfall. I wasn't listening as I should have been soon enough

However, I did hear it one day and started working extra hard to make sure I didn't do that again.

That was 8+ years ago. And im still paying for the original mistake because she won't look past that offense. There should be recognition of the work and progress, not constant reminders of the man I was nearly a decade ago.

Additionally, I agree on hormones. However, finding a doctor to talk that directly to her about it is impossible

 

[beachlights44]

Spoken like someone with nothing to lose. If your in a brand new marriage what the hell were you thinking ? Should of known before you took the plunge.
Most of the alleged sex deprived have been in marriages for many years and this " sexless" relationship didn't just happen overnight, numerous reasons why, you can still love someone even though your sex life is sub par. A divorce usually rips the whole family apart, and to many thats not worth it, emotionally, physically and financially
So its not as easy as just get a divorce. My question is are you not having sex or not making love ? There is a difference. Besides health reasons most people need to look in the mirror to solve this problem. Unless you’re just a horny bastard and this is an excuse to stray.

Very well said, if it was that easy there wouldn’t be all those posts over the years.

 

[curvyjae]

I know that was part of my downfall. I wasn't listening as I should have been soon enough

However, I did hear it one day and started working extra hard to make sure I didn't do that again.

That was 8+ years ago. And im still paying for the original mistake because she won't look past that offense. There should be recognition of the work and progress, not constant reminders of the man I was nearly a decade ago.

Additionally, I agree on hormones. However, finding a doctor to talk that directly to her about it is impossible

I’m fortunate to have a specialist that ensures my hormone levels are closely monitored.

Sometimes damage is done and it’s hard to move past it but if it’s been a decade, that definitely is past the time of it being an issue. My issue is he “changes” for a week or two, sometimes up to a month, then does the same things again, so it’s hard to forget and move past.

Hang in there. It’ll either get better or you’ll find away to find happiness.

 

[13Fantasies]

I’m fortunate to have a specialist that ensures my hormone levels are closely monitored.

Sometimes damage is done and it’s hard to move past it but if it’s been a decade, that definitely is past the time of it being an issue. My issue is he “changes” for a week or two, sometimes up to a month, then does the same things again, so it’s hard to forget and move past.

Hang in there. It’ll either get better or you’ll find away to find happiness.

Im working on it. That was my goal this year.

 

[Trash_Panda_1994]

I think my problem is that he does want sex with me sometimes but I don't. At least not with him.

For the vast majority of our marriage I've had to fake it and that just gets so damn old so quickly. Honestly the problem might just be me, he seemed to get the gf he had for while off with no problems.

No amount of guidance or help could get this man to get me off. So I stopped coming onto him.

 

[Mezoolandet]

I so wish my husband could see this thread without knowing I am here, lol. He thinks we are the only couple in the world that doesn't have sex 2-3 times a week even though I showed him my group chat with friends about their sex lives. We have sex every 7-21 days. The only time that has been longer is when I have had a surgery where I am told no sex for 4-6 weeks.

Context: I had weight loss surgery which completely screwed up my hormones. I was a kinky, sex-all-the-time kind of gal when we met, and pretty much have been that way since I was 16. I have wanted sex most days, sometimes multiple times a day. But hormones.. they kill your sex drive if they get out of whack. I am fixing them. I feel more aroused the past few weeks than I have in months, BUT he is a fucking dick about it at times, which mentally shuts me off and men should know, the way to a woman's sex drive is her mind. (Not all- some women just don't want sex or won't get their hormones checked, or use sex as a weapon). I miss desiring having sex, but when you just have sex to avoid verbal and mental abuse, it really takes the appeal away.

From a female's point of view who has been on the other side (ex husband lost his sex drive due to low T, and it was a struggle, but I never held it against him or belittled him for it), if her issues are hormones, I do recommend hormone replacement therapy if you can afford it. It has helped, and I am sure most men on here are mostly kind, loving husbands, just upset their intimate lives have gone stale. I am sorry if sex is gone because she uses it as a weapon, but if it is health or hormone related, and you are compassionate about it, there is hope it will get better. Just my 2 cents having experienced both ends of the spectrum of sexless marriage.

Yeah, well, she has no desire to even look at any potential things that could help. So, I don't agree with everything you say, as she has pointed out, she does not need sex anymore, she says she is fine not having any desire any longer. Like you, she was basically a freak in bed pretty much every day, then bam, nope, no desire anymore. So she has decided I don't get any affection ever again unless I leave, because deal with it or leave. This is on her, not me. Oh, and I gave up asking if she would discuss it with her doctor. Basically torture at this point.

 

[curvyjae]

Yeah, well, she has no desire to even look at any potential things that could help. So, I don't agree with everything you say, as she has pointed out, she does not need sex anymore, she says she is fine not having any desire any longer. Like you, she was basically a freak in bed pretty much every day, then bam, nope, no desire anymore. So she has decided I don't get any affection ever again unless I leave, because deal with it or leave. This is on her, not me. Oh, and I gave up asking if she would discuss it with her doctor. Basically torture at this point.

That’s very unfortunate. But that’s when you decide whether that’s the life you want or not. I had to make that decision with my last husband. We had nothing in common but got along great. He had a significantly lower sex drive than I did. It seriously would not hurt my feelings at all if my husband told me I wasn’t meeting his needs and he needed someone who loved sports more and needed more sex and affection than I do. Everyone has needs. If they’re repeatedly not being met, consideration has to be given to an alternative life.