Sexless Relationship support

[Not Normal]

Windman1... Would you agree that because enjoying sex after menopause is more challenging for your wife it's made you a better lover??

I know for us, sex used to be my wife basically saying "just stick it in hun... and give me a few moments and I'll get there." And that's all it really took. It took little effort on my part beyond getting hard and pumping away... But now, it takes so much more - more time, more communication, more sensitivity to reading her body, etc.. There's no doubt I'm a more conscientious lover as a consequence.

And that has brought us much closer at a point in our marriage when many couples drift apart.

In a way, menopause has been great for our sex life and by extension our marriage.

That's awesome, man. I'm happy for you both!

 

[eroticbum]

Sorry to hear.... Hearing your partner say they could live without sex would be heartbreaking.

Would she agree to seeing a sex therapist or reading Come As You Are? At minimum she should talk to her Primary Care doc and/or OBGYN. ..But bear in mind that not all docs are the same in how highly they value sex.. The first doc my wife discussed her declining sex drive and increasing pain with basically said, "Yeah... get used to that. Aging sucks... But it's not all bad - sex is very time consuming so be glad you don't have to worry about it." We were floored. ..She was (and is) kind of an unhappy woman, in an unhappy marriage, who who doesn't value intimacy. But then she mentioned it to her Primary Care Physician (a younger and much more upbeat woman) who said, "Well sex is VERY important so let's find something that helps..." She prescribed estradiol and even contemplated full blown hormone replacement therapy. ..In the end, the Sex Therapist and the book helped enough to get us on track.

Lastly... make sure you're taking care of yourself. ..Good hygiene, etc... ...Look like you care about yourself. Meanwhile keep reminding her she's beautiful and you crave being close and intimate with her. AND maybe tell her neither of you have to cum - you just need to enjoy how being intimate feels.

Thanks for kind supportive words, Yeah wife is seeing a doc, and doing what she can. But she's kinda happy with current life style and infrequent sex.
I in meantime have discovered other means of sexual tension release without straying. Wife is sort of aware of my one man sessions for tension release. At times I am embarrassed but don't care. It's fun for me. Granted I'd have lots more fun if wife would participate a little, no sex required. She sometimes thinks it's a bit gay what I do, even when alone

 

[LMWM321]

I'm glad you've found an alternative that works...

Desire discrepancies are a challenge in most relationships but when it gets to a point where one person is totally done with sex, well, it's devastating. My personal view is that when that happens it's time for the one person to show their true love for the other by allowing them to seek sex elsewhere rather than expecting them to go without it the remainder of their life.

Sex is important, very important. ..It keeps us young at heart and (probably) healthier both physically and mentally. A partner should want that for you even if they are done with sex.

 

[Shaglus_Ziegler]

I’m a lucky man. After having been married to a woman who got cold and finally left I vowed never to be in that situation again. Good luck. Life’s for living. Cheers

 

[fredrock]

Merry christmas to all the married sexless people...your not alone...may you find some joy in your day....
side note i hate menopause...

 

[fredrock]

Happy new year!! Lets get naked....https://i.ibb.co/7KmX0BC/a572ece3ad15.jpg

 

[Mittering]

So, yeah, sexless since 2016. Before that I can count on one hand the number of times since our first was born and still have enough fingers left over to flip my relationship the bird.
Was trying to wait for her. She said she was focusing on the kids. Especially since she was home schooling them.
I genuinely feel that men bond through physical intimacy. Physical intimacy of some sort. I initiate all of it and I feel like a fucking moron. All of my hand holding, morning kiss, welcome home hugs. They don't mean anything.
I'm the comfortable shirt. The one you wear around the house, thread bare, not taken care of in any way. It's never folded neatly, treated for stains, or shown off to others. It's not like the nice shirt that gets a trip to the cleaners, shown off, repaired from damage and lamented after if its been damaged or soiled. The comfortable shirt won't be missed or thought of after it's been thrown out or goes missing. I'm the comfortable shirt.
I've asked to be let go. I don't think I need to be labeled as the one who left or gave up. I get a half day or so of thoughtfulness then it's back to being worn.
I've been going through mid-life this last year or more and I've been very expressive to her that I want this to be shared with her and not the stereotypical going off and cheating event some men pursue. She's blown me off at every request and expressed need. I'm at the end of it now, I can feel it. The window of time for a wonderful experience we could have shared is done now. She won. She waited it out. I'm sure she's relieved.
We are currently living with my mother at her place in the last of her time. I seriously think about just taking a long walk in the woods the day after my mother passes. I wouldn't want her to know or be present for it.
Thanks for letting me get that off of my chest. People don't know how important sex and intimacy are to a marriage. And they just don't care. Those that do are labeled as I'm sure most of you will do here in the comments and replies .

 

[fredrock]

You know..not being touched...barely being kissed...you know the drill guys...gets old..it hurts ..it wears on you...and women really dont understand...they can post one titty pic and get a full in box...lots of attention..anyway some days are better than others...