Sexy Songs....

Billericay Dickie

Lyrics from a very sexy record :rolleyes: The late great Ian Dury all sung with a hard, S London accent. Sorry can't make a link to the track.

(spoken)
good evening i'm from essex
in case you couldn't tell
my given name is Dickie, I come from Billericay
and I'm doing very well

had a love affair with Nina
in the back of my Cortina
a seasoned up hyena could not have been more obscener
she took me to the cleaners
and other misdemeanours
but I got right up between her
rum and her Ribena

well, you ask Joyce and Vicki
if candy-floss is sticky
I'm not a blinking thicky
I'm Billericay Dickie
and i'm doing very well

I bought a lot of brandy
when I was courting Sandy
took eight to make her randy
and all I had was shandy
another thing with Sandy
what often came in handy
was passing her a 'Mandy'
she didn't half go bandy

so you ask Joyce and Vicki
if I ever took the mickey
I'm not a flipping thicky
I'm billeicay dickie
and I'm doing very well

I'd rondez-vouez with Janet
quite near the Isle of Thanet
she looked more like a gannet
she wasn't half a prannet
her mother tried to ban it
her father helped me plan it
and when I captured Janet she bruised her pomegranet

so you ask Joyce and Vicki
if i ever shaped up tricky
I'm not a blooming thicky
I'm Billericay Dickie
and I'm doing very well

you should never hold a candle if you don't know where it's been
the jackpot is in the handle on a normal fruit machine

so you ask Joyce and Vicki
who's their brickie
I'm not a common thicky
I'm Billericay Dickie
and I'm doing very well

I know a lovely old toe-rag obliging and noblesse
kindly, charming shag from Shoeburyness

my given name is Dickie
I come from Billericay
I thought you'd never guess

so you ask Joyce and Vicki
a pair of squeaky chickies
I'm not a flaming thicky I'm Billericay Dickie
and I'm doing very well

oh golly, oh gosh come and lie on the couch
with a nice bit of posh from Burnham-on-Crouch

my given name is Dickie, I come from Billericay
and I ain't a sloutch

so you ask Joyce and Vicki
about Billericay Dickie
I ain't an effin' thicky
you ask Joyce and Vicki
and I'm doing very well
 
This World can't tear Us Apart - Trivium. Memories attached to that song, more intimate than sexual, but still. :)
 
I'm going to have to read this whole thread when I have more time!

I love playing this song when I'm feeling a little turned on during my video game stream, lol. I do have a cat that watches me play, so they could think it's about her...
Lovage - Stroker Ace


Monsieur-dame, can I come with you
As you both look awfully kind
This alley and me are through
Let me tell you what I've got in mind

I'll sing to you my mewing song
Looks like you both could use a pet
And purr my purr all night long
I think a pussy's your best bet

Stroke that shiny coat
Stroking is the antidote
Stroke that, it's a start
Only for the wild at heart

Stroke that shiny coat
Stroking is the antidote
Stroke that shiny coat
Stroking's what it's all about

My tail alone could tell you tales
It's got a life all of its own
Watch it move just like a sail
Sail you to the twilight zone

I love to lap a spot of cream
And I assure you that I'm neat
But you never know what you can expect
When the pussy is in heat

Stroke that shiny coat
Stroking is the antidote
Stroke that, it's a start
Only for the wild at heart

Stroke that shiny coat
Stroking is the antidote
Stroke that shiny coat
Stroking's what it's all about

I like to watch, if you don't mind
Every sphinx knows how to pass the time
Your little love nest suits me well
Let me show you how to cast a spell

Stroke that shiny coat
Stroking is the antidote
Stroke that it's a start
Only for the wild at heart

Stroke that shiny coat
Stroking is the antidote
Stroke that shiny coat
Stroking's what it's all about



Read more: Lovage - Stroker Ace Lyrics | MetroLyrics​
 
first song I ever made out to:

too funky - george michael

first song I had sex to (don't judge me):

hero - enrique iglesias

first song I had sex to and though "this song is really great for fucking":

glycerine - bush

first song i had sex to and though "this is stupid, but I'm kind of into it":

the hand that feeds - nine inch nails

first song I ever sexy-danced to:

oops (oh my) - tweet

first song I ever sexy-danced to with an audience (seriously, stop judging me):

spinning wheel - love/hate

first song I ever sexy-danced to in front of actual people that I wasn't planning on fucking later anyway so it didn't matter:

body party - ciara

first song I ever sexy-danced to in front of people and really liked the song I was dancing to:

criminal - fiona apple
 
first song I ever made out to:

too funky - george michael

first song I had sex to (don't judge me):

hero - enrique iglesias

first song I had sex to and though "this song is really great for fucking":

glycerine - bush

first song i had sex to and though "this is stupid, but I'm kind of into it":

the hand that feeds - nine inch nails

first song I ever sexy-danced to:

oops (oh my) - tweet

first song I ever sexy-danced to with an audience (seriously, stop judging me):

spinning wheel - love/hate

first song I ever sexy-danced to in front of actual people that I wasn't planning on fucking later anyway so it didn't matter:

body party - ciara

first song I ever sexy-danced to in front of people and really liked the song I was dancing to:

criminal - fiona apple



ok i can make a mix of that and you can walk me through the motions while the songs are played......sound good? :D
 
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