Show me your dungeon
- Thread starter WickedEve
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intothewoods
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I think kids need to know about various flavors as soon as they are old enough to ask questions about it. If I had only known, I'd be in such a different place now.
Don't get me wrong. I feel blessed.
I just think if I'd known, I could be even more or differently blessed.
I remember seeing s&m referenced on a tv show, and my parents acknowledged it matter-of-factly. I'd do the same. I think it's really important for my kid to know that I love him no matter what his "flavor." I'm in favor of gay marriage. I'm against discrimination based on sexual orientation. ALl of this I discuss without hesitation as it comes up and in an age-appropriate way. At the moment it mostly involves saying, actually, your friend X is wrong, boys CAN wear pink and they CAN play with Cinderella if they want to.
But my sex life is my business. I will answer general questions, but I feel no need to "come out" to my kid. I'm not his friend. I'm his mother. After he's an adult, and as our relationship changes, I'll share more, if he wants me to.
I've made this distinction before, but I think it's worth repeating - privacy vs. secrecy. Secrecy connotes shame. Privacy connotes a healthy respect for boundaries.
twiggy_the_spider
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Sorry if I wasnt clear (I probably wasnt.) of course people have the right to privacy, I dont think theres a need to give kids information they dont ask for or want. I was just saying, if they find stuff its not the biggest deal in the world. Sounds like you have the right idea already though.
FurryFury
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I feel no need to "come out" to my kids either. However, they've asked about impact noises. I didn't lie about it.
I want my kids to know I'm cool with them regardless.
Society bugs the shit out of me because of how they make fun of people that are different in any way, particularly ways they don't understand.
I saw a play today that made a TS the butt of many jokes. It pissed me off.
intothewoods
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Oh, making fun of people is soooo not tolerated in my house. I don't like that.
Handling the bdsm question is interesting, because I don't quite see D/s as the same as being queer. Maybe I should, I don't know, but it seems like being gay is who you are and being into bdsm is one aspect of who you are. I'm still kicking that one around though.
Ugh, I really would prefer to not have that conversation with my kids. I just don't feel like it's their business, frankly -- what goes on in mommy and daddy's bedroom. I think they have a right to their privacy, and I have a right to mine. Both are within reason, since we all have to live together as well, but I've always kind of kept to the idea of some personal space being personal.
intothewoods
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If our bedroom were sound proof I'd never have to worry about explaining those sounds.
Of course I'd never have been there when they were afraid as kids either.
I guess it all evens out.
I've never seriously considered soundproofing, because it just seems like a lot of effort, but it didn't even occur to me that soundproofing works both ways.
We don't do long impact sessions, so I'm not too worried. I think we'll just turn on some music, or maybe use a white noise machine. Those work wonders for a variety of reasons actually. Lol, I'm just tired and rambling right now. Don't mind me. Really, I think our biggest issue would be my carrying on, but thank god for ball gags.
FurryFury
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I've never seriously considered soundproofing, because it just seems like a lot of effort, but it didn't even occur to me that soundproofing works both ways.
We've tried music and white noise both. Apparently the sound of hand hitting skin or paddle hitting skin still is audible to my kids. A gag won't fix that problem.
intothewoods
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A baby monitor might fix the sound proofing one way for a while.
I was just thinking that. See, this is why I would prefer we play at parties - away from the house, no muss no fuss. Oh well.
Well, luckily we're not moving in together tomorrow. I'm glad this thread is here, because I may very well consider sound proofing with the monitor, although it does seem like too much trouble to go to.
I'm sure I would look at this differently if I were with my kid's dad and we were both kinky. But I just know he would have a huge problem with my telling my kid, and that he's still pretty weirded out by kink. Because we do have a pretty good relationship, I don't think I'd want to push the issue. So I may very well look into soundproofing if Mister Man and I get married. Actually, most likely we'd just limit kinky activities to nights when we're solo in the beginning. At some point though, might be worth the effort to put it in.
