Shutting down who you are

[BeachGurl2]

I would have to agree with this observation.

The submissive mind being more geared towards a desire and deep seeded need to be part of a dynamic where protection and comfort are the norm.

And how, having a submissive mindset, a lone sub would feel far more exposed and vulnerable both physically and emotionally then would, say, a 'nilla girl.

However.....don't embrace this explination as justification (necessarily) for your feelings.
In other words, don't wallow in it as it'll simply make you less inclined to be as you are which would otherwise attract potentials.
Essentially you'd be self-perpetuating your own situational exclusion.

Natural to feel this way? Undoubtedly.
Natural to remain feeling this way? Certainly not. That takes conscious effort.
Best to use that energy on getting back up on that horse.

I agree. And I'm not looking for an 'excuse' to continue. I'm a very reflective person. I like to find the reasons for things, then try to let them run their course so I can get back to business as usual. So my main purpose was first, why am I feeling this way, and second, what can I do to get beyond it and get back to normal - whatever normal is for me.

As for getting back up on that horse, I met someone a couple weeks ago and have had 2 dates. We seem to enjoy each others company and have a good time together. But I'm one of those people who tends to take that kind of thing a little slowly. I don't jump into D/s after just a couple of dates because you can't really know a person enough for the long term kind of thing after only a few dates. There is a natural D/s component because of who we are, but it's only been a few dates and that does not make a relationship.

 

[satindesire]

I would have to agree with this observation.

The submissive mind being more geared towards a desire and deep seeded need to be part of a dynamic where protection and comfort are the norm.

And how, having a submissive mindset, a lone sub would feel far more exposed and vulnerable both physically and emotionally then would, say, a 'nilla girl.

However.....don't embrace this explination as justification (necessarily) for your feelings.
In other words, don't wallow in it as it'll simply make you less inclined to be as you are which would otherwise attract potentials.
Essentially you'd be self-perpetuating your own situational exclusion.

Natural to feel this way? Undoubtedly.
Natural to remain feeling this way? Certainly not. That takes conscious effort.
Best to use that energy on getting back up on that horse.

Were you speaking to me or to beachgurl?

 

[twysted73]

Were you speaking to me or to beachgurl?

I was referencing your post to further my thought.
Thanks for asking.

 

[satindesire]

I was referencing your post to further my thought.
Thanks for asking.

oh, okay, I was just a little confused there. Sorry.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

I am not sure I am one to be giving advice here... I tend to be walled off emotionally most of the time even in a relationship.

But if you are ever out this way, I'd be happy to negotiate some play to help you knock some of the rust off...

 

[BeachGurl2]

I am not sure I am one to be giving advice here... I tend to be walled off emotionally most of the time even in a relationship.

But if you are ever out this way, I'd be happy to negotiate some play to help you knock some of the rust off...

And if I'm ever out your way, you can rest assured that I'll take you up on that offer.