somnophilia

[Sampsonian]

Hmmm...

All I can say is that I have had somnophilia for as long as I can remember.

I remember in Pre-K during nap time there was a girl who was sleeping next to me once and it evoked some sort of excitement.

Amazing to think that I was 4yrs old, had no clue what I was feeling but was feeling it just the same.

I also believe that, in MY case, it is genetic. I remember my Dad's GF telling my GF about how she had woken up several times only to find him giving himself a handjob with her sleeping hand or sucking on her breasts. I can't help but think that coincides with my fetish in some strange, genetic way...

My current partner knows about my fetish (as I have been open with all my gf's) and is consentual 100%.

Beyond "genetic" is my real passion for control. Knowing that I am doing anything (within RESPECTFUL reason) to her without her knowing is very arrousing to me.

It's great to read about other women being openly ok with it. A lot of people will disagree but my feeling is that if you are doing the same things to your partner while he/she sleeps that you do when both of you are awake, what's so wrong with it?

Necrophilia is definitely not my thing. I'm not sure why there is such a dividing line for me but Nec is nasty and somno is my fetish...haha go figure...

Anyway, great discussion even if it IS an old thread.

Had to kick in my dos centavos...

 

[esales]

Well me being a sadist having them unconcious would sort of ruin it, wouldn't it? I'm not saying it doesn't have its place though. I have tried it before and there is a certain thrill of sorts. Mostly knowing I can do anything I want and they cannot stop me.

 

[SomNinja]

Wow! It's great to read all your views on this - especially DeepInsideYou, who seems to have a fairly similar experience of this as myself.

I've actually been in the extremely lucky position of having two girlfriends over the last 10(ish) years who were both into giving and recieving!

Both times we were in very stable relationships and had that trust. It should also be noted that we have LOTS of 'normal' sex - although by far we both prefer our regular sex to be of the slow and sensual kind. Sometimes the almost painfully slow sort. Maybe this is what started us on the path to somnophilia?

Anyway, our sleep sex sessions are still quite rare. This is an unspoken thing that seems to keep things special. Sometimes she'll wake up when I'm touching her and initiating it and roll over or say no - and on even rarer occasions I may be too tired or drunk to be any good to her advances!

I totally agree that although the porn out there turns me on, most of it is still far too unrealistic - mainly in that it's too hard where to do this effectively you have to be very gentle and slow. I've never been into the regular hardcore porn where it's all *THRUST THRUST THRUST* YES YES! AHH! FUCK YES! *BANG BANG BANG* etc...

But back on subject: Early on in both relationships we spoke briefly to each other and gave each other permission to 'do what you want while I'm asleep'. There is a preference to wake each other up before we cum... but that's not quite so clear cut.

You see, we don't really speak about whether we were really asleep or just pretending. For certain both of us HAVE woken up during because we reacted and had more normal (if sleepy) sex. But I know I've also pretended to be asleep, as has she, because I remember one morning her whispering in my ear "I pretended to be asleep..."

Hot as Hell!

The best times (for me as the Giver) are definitely when there is a long and slow build-up: moving my hands over her body, listening to her breathing... maybe moving her slightly to allow access... carefully and quietly sucking on my fingers and then making sure she's really wet for me... These times I sometimes barely slide the tip in before I orgasm.

The (again unspoken) limits for us? We don't do anal when awake, so we're sure as Hell not going to when the other is sleeping! I'd love to video it, but don't think she wants to... maybe one for the future?

We don't use drugs to facilitate this, either. It's easiest after already having had sex before sleep - or sometimes if we've been drunk the night before and one wakes whilst the other is still asleep.

Thanks again for posting here, because this is a very rare subject to find any info on, although I'm beginning to suspect it's far more common than people would have you believe...

 

[subish2009]

I woke up with my husband's cock in my mouth once. He was on his knees straddled over me. He woke up after I did.

He started fucking me in his (and my) sleep once, too.

At the time it was just confusing because he wasn't quite acting like himself...I could tell something was off, but I didn't immediately realize he was asleep, too. But thinking back on it is kind of hot.

 

[00Syd]

Somnophilia has grown into one of my biggest fantasies in the past few months. The idea of waking up to someone fucking me is incredibly hot. I've told my BF that this is something I think I would be really into, but unfortunately nothing has happened yet.

 

[MrMentor7]

Having sex with a person while they are sleep is something I have always wanted to do. I would like to use someone, even if they are sleeping and I do not have the patience to wake them up.

 

[DVS]

Having my partner be completely still can be a turn-on for me.

I've been known to mummify my sub in plastic wrap and cut out a hole just large enough to access the port hole. Then I can fuck away and she literally can't move a muscle.

I don't think that's the same thing. Your sub is awake and can feel and probably squirms from your touch. That's bondage and I find that to be very sexy...the sub can't get away and must submit.

This sleep thing or when the sub just lays there doesn't appeal to me. It might appeal to the sub though, I don't know. Personally, I want to see some responses to what I'm doing to her. I don't think I'm opposed to watching someone else do this, though.

Isn't that somewhat similar to necrophilia, only the person is warm? I guess I'm confused.

 

[00Syd]

I don't think that's the same thing. Your sub is awake and can feel and probably squirms from your touch. That's bondage and I find that to be very sexy...the sub can't get away and must submit.

This sleep thing or when the sub just lays there doesn't appeal to me. It might appeal to the sub though, I don't know. Personally, I want to see some responses to what I'm doing to her. I don't think I'm opposed to watching someone else do this, though.

Isn't that somewhat similar to necrophilia, only the person is warm? I guess I'm confused.

The part of it that's hot for me, is the idea of getting woken up by someone fucking me. Like I had no choice in the matter, like I was just there and he was horny and so who cares if I'm awake or not. Of course after I wake up I'll be active and squirm and such. Maybe I'll be grumpy and uncomfortable and not even want it and try to get him to stop, but then that's pretty damn hot too.

Of course, that's just me, and I can only comment on what's appealing from the receiving end of things.

 

[SomNinja]

Isn't that somewhat similar to necrophilia, only the person is warm? I guess I'm confused.

Well I can only speak for myself, but to me dead is dead, and a totally different ball game!

When she's asleep you know she still has a consciousness (err... if you see what I mean?) and of course you can hear her and feel her breathing and getting wet etc. Making her cum is the ultimate, and that's pretty unlikely to happen with a corpse!

At least part of the thrill is knowing she could wake up at any moment - or maybe the thrill is knowing she's pretending to be asleep? Both are good.

Definitely nowhere near necrophilia for me, and also I'm not into rape fantasy - so doing it to strangers doesn't appeal, either.

 

[rosco rathbone]

like I was just there and he was horny and so who cares if I'm awake or not.... Of course after I wake up I'll be active and squirm and such. Maybe I'll be grumpy and uncomfortable and not even want it and try to get him to stop, but then that's pretty damn hot too....Of course, that's just me, and I can only comment on what's appealing from the receiving end of things.

There's nothing like rolling over on top of a warm, heavy, sleepy female; spreading her thighs and forcing entry. It's slow, hot, sticky at first, slippery later.

 

[00Syd]

There's nothing like rolling over on top of a warm, heavy, sleepy female; spreading her thighs and forcing entry. It's slow, hot, sticky at first, slippery later.

hhhhhhoooootttttt

 

[rida]

The closest thing I experienced was being barely awake and being showed on my knees to perform oral sex.

I'm just too sensitive to being touched or somebody moving in bed for not waking up before them.

Although the thought of waking up and finding myself being fucked is really hot indeed.

 

[SomNinja]

The closest thing I experienced was being barely awake and being showed on my knees to perform oral sex.

I'm just too sensitive to being touched or somebody moving in bed for not waking up before them.

Although the thought of waking up and finding myself being fucked is really hot indeed.

Do you think you could hols still enough and pretend?

 

[rida]

Do you think you could hols still enough and pretend?

I guess I could try, if I was asked to.

 

[jenniferbaby]

There's nothing like rolling over on top of a warm, heavy, sleepy female; spreading her thighs and forcing entry. It's slow, hot, sticky at first, slippery later.

hhhhhhoooootttttt

I agree.

 

[where]

There's nothing like rolling over on top of a warm, heavy, sleepy female; spreading her thighs and forcing entry. It's slow, hot, sticky at first, slippery later.

the problem is, I sleep light and I'm always, always awake first.

It is a long standing fantasy of mine, but not one I could achieve without drugs.

 

[neci]

my favorite is the split second between the thoughts, "What the fuck! i was sleeping!" and, "oh fuck. please just keep fucking..."

 

[jadedgirl]

I've always had the fantasy of someone taking advantage of me while I slept, just touching, exploring, doing whatever they want without my knowledge. I'd love for them to completely take what they want and finish all over me, without a care. Mmmm....so hot!

 

[subish2009]

There was a story I read long ago...probably on Lit...that involved something about a husband and wife staying at a motel...the wife fell asleep in bed...the husband turned on some lights, opened the curtains, and pulled the covers off of her, showing her off to passers-by. I've always found that situation very hot, partially the thought of someone manipulating that scenario without my knowledge or control, and partially the forced exhibitionism. Two of my favorite kinks.

 

[satindesire]

Gaw, this is an old thread.

 

[neci]

Gaw, this is an old thread.

it was busy sleeping

 

[satindesire]

it was busy sleeping

Ppppft! XD

 

[rosco rathbone]

One reason this is hot is just the old-fashioned-ness of it.

100 years ago no one would have thought it "perverse" for a husband to awake in the night with needs and then take what was rightfully his in the eyes of god and man.

Now here in the 21st century we need to be in the BDSM forum to even be talking about this and there's a frisson attached to it that's only a couple degrees from rape.

 

[where]

One reason this is hot is just the old-fashioned-ness of it.

100 years ago no one would have thought it "perverse" for a husband to awake in the night with needs and then take what was rightfully his in the eyes of god and man.

Now here in the 21st century we need to be in the BDSM forum to even be talking about this and there's a frisson attached to it that's only a couple degrees from rape.

is it rape if she can wake up and consent?

I wonder if it's tied into that idea that women just couldn't consent to enjoy or want sex, so the whole Eve of St Agnes thing comes into play, just like with rape fantasies. it means we can abdicate responsibility for our own desires.

 

[rosco rathbone]

is it rape if she can wake up and consent?

I wonder if it's tied into that idea that women just couldn't consent to enjoy or want sex, so the whole Eve of St Agnes thing comes into play, just like with rape fantasies. it means we can abdicate responsibility for our own desires.

I think you have to consent before entry. If men are allowed to negotiate consent after entry, that opens a whole can of worms.

A woman might enjoy sex very much...but not all the time. There might be times, for instance during her beauty rest, when she'd rather not be used as a receptacle for male stress.

Some pervs, allergic to consent, like to seek out those moments.