Spirit song: the elven wanderer finally has a home.

[LoganDarkHolme]

Mortality finds us all I suppose.” He chuckles. “I am glad you too are still here.”

His smile returns as she moves back to. Writing, “We are much on the same wave length. I would love to write on my own but the motivation is just not there. Writing with others provides a spark that I need to stay motivated, it is fueled by my connection with the other person too. Though I’m still learning Sam with you and my story writing with you though we’ve not done a ton of it has a degree of ease, you know a good deal about me. More than anyone that still comes here I’d suspect. It provides a level of comfort I suppose.” He shrugs unable to quite put into words what he means.

She reached out and squeezed his shoulder. "We're one of the old crew around here, Glad. Even though we're still learning a characters, it is nice to write with someone you know."

*stepping from the shadows a gentle smile on his lips, he tips his head* Indeed, Mortality sings for us all, even a wolf of shadow, i came closer at the begining of the year then even my Dr wanted to admit with my illness. It too had tempered my mindset when it came to writing, but returning here, to old friends, and to new faces. Has allowed me to once more regain my ability to channel my charectors. who says voices in your head are a bad thing? *he smiles*

 

[The_gladiator]

She reached out and squeezed his shoulder. "We're one of the old crew around here, Glad. Even though we're still learning a characters, it is nice to write with someone you know."

"Sorry I missed this ontursday. stupid lit doesn't always tell me correctly. You re rigt, it really is good to write with people you know. Though I'm also loving writing with someone new as well." hesmiles


his eyes move to Logan as he steps from the shadows. "Welcome to my home my friend. I had a similar scare a little over a year ago, though mine was relted to my heat. It can be quite scary."

He smiles, "I have started copying my work from threads into word documents. I have invested too much effort into writing here to watch it go away should the site crsh for goo some day."

 

[LoganDarkHolme]

"Welcome to my home my friend. I had a similar scare a little over a year ago, though mine was relted to my heat. It can be quite scary."

He smiles, "I have started copying my work from threads into word documents. I have invested too much effort into writing here to watch it go away should the site crash for good some day."

*he smiles* i was struck with a cellulitis infection in my left leg and went septic just after christmas, i was in ICU for 5 days, and was in bad shape. in short, it sucked. 2 months later im back on my feet, but i still worry every time i get a twinge in my leg. i lost over 30 lbs in the 3 weeks following the infection. and the loss of income from being out of work. 3 months, and im only just getting level again that my worry and stress has allowed my wolf to resurface,

*he smiles* i too have saved a few of my stories,

 

[The_gladiator]

"Qute tcare. I wn't qute thmuci dner, but the idhve to use a defibuater on me. nt aunexprene. Someting I'll verfrget. Are youable towok agannw?"

 

[LoganDarkHolme]

"Qute tcare. I wn't qute thmuci dner, but the idhve to use a defibuater on me. nt aunexprene. Someting I'll verfrget. Are youable towok agannw?"

*he smiles* while my ability to read typo is expansive, there is part of that i cannot decifer, but yes, i have been back to work for about 3 weeks now and i have been able to stablize my finanaces to where i am again comfortable.

im glad you are well too, i have A-fib due to sleep apnea but ive been lucky ive never had to be shocked

 

[The_gladiator]

I hate my computer sometimes. Ugh. I totally missed that it was messing up like that. I really must be tired. I have afib too, and they want me to start using a cpap, not sure I’ll tolerate it, but meh I’ll give it a go.

 

[LoganDarkHolme]

*he chuckles* it takes some getting used to, ive been using one for 11 years. now i cant sleep without it. it does help, at least for me it does.

 

[The_gladiator]

He frowns “With my sensativity to touch and stuff and anxiety I do worry about it.” He shrugs, “Which kind of mask do you use?” He asks curiously

 

[LoganDarkHolme]

i bounce between using the nose pillows and nasal mask, it depends on the weather which one i use, at home i usually use the nose pillows, but in my truck i usually use the nasal mask, , but it tends to rub the bridge of my nose raw after a coupla nights, but with as dry as the air in my truck is, the nasal mask usually gives me better air flow and moisture with humidifer set right

 

[The_gladiator]

They want to start me on the nasal mask. I think I might prefer the nasal pillows eventually.

 

[LoganDarkHolme]

They want to start me on the nasal mask. I think I might prefer the nasal pillows eventually.

I would suggest starting with the nose pillows, i have the Swift FX, most comfortable by far

 

[The_gladiator]

I will keep that in mind. He didn’t really give me a choice, but I can always ask

 

[LoganDarkHolme]

I will keep that in mind. He didn’t really give me a choice, but I can always ask

Yeah it won't be your actual doctor you have to go and see a respiratory specialist and then when you actually go to the provider who's going to be issuing your equipment then they will sit down with you and go over all the different choices that you have and stuff

 

[The_gladiator]

They told me that he was ordering exactly what he wanted me to hveand they woud work wih me to just size it." he shrugs, "We will see."

 

[LoganDarkHolme]

Sounds like an idiot lol

 

[The_gladiator]

He’s a sleep specialist, so maybe lol.

 

[The_gladiator]

He sat down on the swing he had spent long hours at. His eyes were red with saddness. Why did he always come here when he was sad? It was like the sanctuary called to him. There were so many memories here, friends most of which he’d lost touch with. He blew out a long sigh and looked out over the water. How long had it been now, 4 months, 5?

 

[DarkWarrioress]

He sat down on the swing he had spent long hours at. His eyes were red with saddness. Why did he always come here when he was sad? It was like the sanctuary called to him. There were so many memories here, friends most of which he’d lost touch with. He blew out a long sigh and looked out over the water. How long had it been now, 4 months, 5?

A soft hand landed on his shoulder.

"Make some room for a friend, will you?" She sat down on the swing next to him.

"You haven't been taking care of yourself very well lately, have you, my friend? I worry about you, Glad."

Her fingers found his and entwined them, giving a little, gentle squeeze.

 

[The_gladiator]

A soft hand landed on his shoulder.

"Make some room for a friend, will you?" She sat down on the swing next to him.

"You haven't been taking care of yourself very well lately, have you, my friend? I worry about you, Glad."

Her fingers found his and entwined them, giving a little, gentle squeeze.

He gave her hand a soft squeeze letting his thumb run idly over the back of it. “Ironically I have been doing better with some things. I guess the last few days have been a step back for me mentally. Things are as they ever are, with ups and downs. Last week I felt like I had chosen happiness. I ha told myself that I could let everything piss me off all the time or I could just be happy. It worked, it was a great week, felt better than most. This week just something is off again I can’t find that again.” He blew out a sigh, “I recognize that things like that take work and it is difficult to break old habits but it still sucks. And then I had to stop speaking to someone that I was starting to consider a friend. I don’t know if it was parting from her so much as all the memories it brought up.” He shrugged.

 

[DarkWarrioress]

He gave her hand a soft squeeze letting his thumb run idly over the back of it. “Ironically I have been doing better with some things. I guess the last few days have been a step back for me mentally. Things are as they ever are, with ups and downs. Last week I felt like I had chosen happiness. I ha told myself that I could let everything piss me off all the time or I could just be happy. It worked, it was a great week, felt better than most. This week just something is off again I can’t find that again.” He blew out a sigh, “I recognize that things like that take work and it is difficult to break old habits but it still sucks. And then I had to stop speaking to someone that I was starting to consider a friend. I don’t know if it was parting from her so much as all the memories it brought up.” He shrugged.

She idly wondered half out loud.

"You know, I wonder about a mutual friend. You know, the one whose name starts with a T. I wonder where she is now and how she is. I do miss her.
Glad, just roll with the fact that you'll have off days. Those kind of days are hard for me to accept. For me, I just don't have a choice but to rest and give my body a chance to recoup. I'm having a hard time trying not to be pissed off all the time. I know what's causing it, but I can either alienate someone (young family member) or learn to roll with it. Actually, I chose to traverse someplace between the two. Most times.

Hm, it's hard to have to stop talking with someone you consider a friend, let the memories wash over you, embrace them and then set them behind you. Easier said than done, I know. It's never easy. Life is never easy. You have a shoulder and a willing, open ear here, if you ever need it, Glad."

 

[The_gladiator]

She idly wondered half out loud.

"You know, I wonder about a mutual friend. You know, the one whose name starts with a T. I wonder where she is now and how she is. I do miss her.
Glad, just roll with the fact that you'll have off days. Those kind of days are hard for me to accept. For me, I just don't have a choice but to rest and give my body a chance to recoup. I'm having a hard time trying not to be pissed off all the time. I know what's causing it, but I can either alienate someone (young family member) or learn to roll with it. Actually, I chose to traverse someplace between the two. Most times.

Hm, it's hard to have to stop talking with someone you consider a friend, let the memories wash over you, embrace them and then set them behind you. Easier said than done, I know. It's never easy. Life is never easy. You have a shoulder and a willing, open ear here, if you ever need it, Glad."

He laughs, a little, I’m sitting here trying to think which mutual friend you mean, we’ve lost so many. My guess is you mean a fellow elf, and if so, yes I miss her very much.

I have a few I speak to off of lit, but not as many as I’d like. I think parting from this new person just made me think about the lonliness and the desporation to talk to almost anyone that has plagued me throughout my life. I’ve had better boundaries the last couple years, really staying away from people that are unhealthy for me, and this new person was a reminder of the thrill of talking to someone new that you probably shouldn’t, the type of person that isn’t good for your life.” He shrugs.

“Yes, work is tough, home is tough, family is tough, I could be angry all the time. I try to be better than that, but you’re right I just need to accept that bad days will happen, they don’t erase the good ones. That’s something I’ve always struggled with, if I have the best day ever but then have a meltdown or anxiety attack that night its like I failed, like it ruined the day, and yet that great day and moment still happened, I shouldn’t take that away.” He sighed and leaned his head against the side of her shoulder. “I do this, I think too much.”

 

[DarkWarrioress]

He laughs, a little, I’m sitting here trying to think which mutual friend you mean, we’ve lost so many. My guess is you mean a fellow elf, and if so, yes I miss her very much.

I have a few I speak to off of lit, but not as many as I’d like. I think parting from this new person just made me think about the lonliness and the desporation to talk to almost anyone that has plagued me throughout my life. I’ve had better boundaries the last couple years, really staying away from people that are unhealthy for me, and this new person was a reminder of the thrill of talking to someone new that you probably shouldn’t, the type of person that isn’t good for your life.” He shrugs.

“Yes, work is tough, home is tough, family is tough, I could be angry all the time. I try to be better than that, but you’re right I just need to accept that bad days will happen, they don’t erase the good ones. That’s something I’ve always struggled with, if I have the best day ever but then have a meltdown or anxiety attack that night its like I failed, like it ruined the day, and yet that great day and moment still happened, I shouldn’t take that away.” He sighed and leaned his head against the side of her shoulder. “I do this, I think too much.”

She hugged him close with a small laugh.

"Yes, I mean a fellow elf. Glad, if you have a meltdown or an anxiety attack, that doesn't mean you've failed somehow, it simply means you're human. Our minds and emotions can only take so much before one of those things or both, kick in. Hell, I get an anxiety attack if I have to talk to people on the phone. I hate talking on the phone. I use to do it for a living, never liked it then either but, there are times when I have to so I put on my granny panties and get it done because no one else is going to do it for me. Meltdowns, anxiety attacks, panic attacks, whatever, some people get them, others don't. It doesn't take away from good days or accomplishments."

She kissed the side of his head.

"Yep, our worst enemy is our own mind. I have learned to stop overthinking things though."

 

[The_gladiator]

She hugged him close with a small laugh.

"Yes, I mean a fellow elf. Glad, if you have a meltdown or an anxiety attack, that doesn't mean you've failed somehow, it simply means you're human. Our minds and emotions can only take so much before one of those things or both, kick in. Hell, I get an anxiety attack if I have to talk to people on the phone. I hate talking on the phone. I use to do it for a living, never liked it then either but, there are times when I have to so I put on my granny panties and get it done because no one else is going to do it for me. Meltdowns, anxiety attacks, panic attacks, whatever, some people get them, others don't. It doesn't take away from good days or accomplishments."

She kissed the side of his head.

"Yep, our worst enemy is our own mind. I have learned to stop overthinking things though."

At last one of us has,” he quipped leaning into her a bit more, enjoying the gentle touch. “I overthink things and worry about shit I can’t control. For someone in therapy like for 20 years now I feel like I should be better at some of this. Reminder that it’s a lifelong journey of learning.” He shrugs. “I know logically what you say is right that it doesn’t take away from the day, but my brain tells me that I can’t just have one good day without something going wrong, and sometimes I strive too hard for perfection rather than appreciating that almost perfect is pretty good, and not bad is better than totally shitty.”

 

[DarkWarrioress]

"Bah. Perfection is overrated. Glad, you know deep down that there are things you can't control so why do you keep beating yourself up about it? Dude, you need to find yourself some zen. Thinking that you can't have one good day without something going wrong, is just begging for something to go wrong. Stop jinxing yourself. You also need a mantra. Something to repeat over and over to yourself. Nobody and I mean nobody on this earth is ever going to be perfect at anything, I promise you that. We're human. We're flawed. Period. We all need to learn to embrace our imperfections.

 

[The_gladiator]

“I didn’t say I was logical thinking that way, but that is one thing my anxiety does. I fight all the time against that. I was more just sharing what I deal with. I know well it’s not logical, but within my head its insidious.” He snorts, “That’s one reason that I keep most of that to myself because people think I don’t know those things. Like I know killing myself is wrong doesn’t stop the dark thoughts from coming in sometimes.” He chuckles a bit before smiling a little, “What is this zen you speak of?”