Story Critique Queue

[goldenpalomino]

Thanks for your help Penny!

I'll wait for the discussion. Is my story in the queue for that?

Would you recommend both the story feedback forum and this forum, or one or the other?

What an amazing site Literotica is! Thank you.

Cheers, Matt

 

[Penelope Street]

Thanks for your help Penny!

I'll wait for the discussion. Is my story in the queue for that?

Would you recommend both the story feedback forum and this forum, or one or the other?

What an amazing site Literotica is! Thank you.

Cheers, Matt

You're welcome, Matt.

You are in the queue and, if Flapjack begins his discussion on schedule, your discussion date would be October 20th.

Regarding which forum might be best for you, this is all I have to offer:
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=643578

Take Care,
Penny

 

[philosophette]

Hello. I'd like to add my story 'Strangers on a Bus' to the queue.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=498922

 

[Penelope Street]

Hello. I'd like to add my story 'Strangers on a Bus' to the queue.

Ok, you're in! Since Flapjack didn't start his discussion on schedule or reply to a PM, I'm not sure what the schedule is just now, so it could be several days or several weeks before your turn.

 

[PacoFear]

Hi Penny,

Could you tack me onto the back of the queue? I haven't posted the story I want discussed yet. This will be my motivation to wrap it up.

Do we have a schedule? Seems flapjack got cold feet on us.

Thanks,

-PF

 

[Penelope Street]

The upcoming schedule is:

Oct 27 +/- Philosophette
Nov 10 +/- Paco

 

[PacoFear]

Thanks Penny! I'll get started on the procrastination immediately.

Meh, maybe tomorrow.

 

[Acal]

Hey I just finished a new story, could you add me to the queue? Thanks

 

[Penelope Street]

Hey I just finished a new story, could you add me to the queue? Thanks

Cool beans.

The upcoming schedule is:

Oct 27 +/- Philosophette
Nov 10 +/- Paco
Nov 24 +/- Acal

 

[Penelope Street]

I'm on holiday for a week.

Looks like Philosophette's thread has more or less run it's course, so Paco, feel free to start your whenever you're ready.

 

[Lalochezia]

Could I be added to the queue?

 

[Penelope Street]

Could I be added to the queue?

Sure!

The upcoming schedule is:

Nov 24 +/- Acal (yeah, like now! )
Dec 8 +/- Lalochezia

 

[jackoffinjill]

Critique Requested On My First Story

Hi everyone

Not quite sure how the crit thing works, as I just posted my first story.
Its called THE SHED
Username jackoffinjill

I owuld very much appreciate any constructive feedback on my first attempt.

<http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=505341>

Thanks

Jack

 

[Penelope Street]

Hi everyone

Not quite sure how the crit thing works, as I just posted my first story.
Its called THE SHED
Username jackoffinjill

I would very much appreciate any constructive feedback on my first attempt.

<http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=505341>

Thanks

Jack

Hi and Welcome!

If you want to host a discussion featuring your story, your projected start date would be Dec 22, give or take. If you have holiday plans that make this date awkward, you can wait until your schedule is clear.

This post should help you decide if this forum is right for you:
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=643578

Just let us know what you decide.

Take Care,
Penny

 

[soflabbwlvr]

Penny,

I'm up for it. You can add me to the queue, preferably around second week in January?

Thank you

 

[Penelope Street]

Penny,

I'm up for it. You can add me to the queue, preferably around second week in January?

Thank you

Sure thing! Jack never replied, so unsure what his intentions are at this point, but either way if you want the second week of January, it's all yours.

 

[Lalochezia]

Never got the go ahead to post mine.

Should I just do it?

 

[Pure]

hi

hi lalochezia,
yes go ahead... things will be slack probably, but some of us are around for the holidays. penny is away.
best,
jan

 

[Pure]

to jackoff and other new persons,

the procedures are explained in the thread, esp the first two postings

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=304663

they involve joining a queue.

keep in touch.

--

ADDED: i think penny explained this, but obviously anyone can post stories at literotica. and anyone is free to solicit readers or feedback, e.g. in the story feedback forum. of course you can solicit feedback in several other forums besides 'feedback', esp the 'free speech' ones (e.g. General Board).

as well, your story, if 'specialized' can be promoted in the appropriate forum, e.g. if it has a bdsm theme in the bdsm forum; a gay theme in the GBLT forum.

the idea is that here there is a community that undertakes and shares feedback, and that you, if inclined, put something in (for others), as well as ask, 'look at me.'

 

[Pure]

note on the present queue, lalochezia, soflabbw

hi,
it appears acal proceeded on his own, w/o joining the queue.

i've given lalochezia the go ahead for the Dec22 period.

are you going, lalo?

that will be the last of the year.

soflabbw has requested Jan, so tentatively, Jan 12, ok?

let me know, soflabbw.

best regards for holidays.

jan.

 

[soflabbwlvr]

Jan.12 works for me. Thank you.

 

[Lalochezia]

hi lalochezia,
yes go ahead... things will be slack probably, but some of us are around for the holidays. penny is away.
best,
jan

Sorry it took me so long. Holidays and such.

 

[joeroberts]

Could I please be added to the queue? The story I would wish to have discussed is Sweet and Sour Shades of Sandra. It is here: http://www.literotica.com/s/sweet-and-sour-shades-of-sandra

It is two Lit pages long, set very loosely in the early 1970's and written in what I have been told is a minimalist style. I say this because I don't write very much and I'd know about as much concerning the various writing styles as my backside would about steam navigation on the Mississippi River. I have got some positive feedback on it, but as an old saying has it, "One decoration don't make a Christmas tree."

It has two main characters, Sandra and Calvin. The one is an older woman around forty, but still very attractive. She is a tutor and, as it turns out, somewhat sadistic. She is also possibly into witchcraft and ritual magic. The other character Calvin, is an eighteen year old male, one of her best students albeit he is something of a tearaway. Let's say if being a useless article was a trade, he'd be just about apprenticed to it, and his single parent mother is not amused.

He goes to see Sandra because he knows she and his mother are old friends, hoping he can get her to influence his mother to lift her grounding of him. He has an idea this will be no use, but he tries it on anyway, and the story develops from there. Suffice it to say it ends in (for him) an unexpected (and his first) bit of jig a jig, after he discovers her other little bent in a painful way.

My main questions are these:

Firstly, does this story work as erotica? Or is it just another stickbook story? (A stickbook being what we in my country would call a low grade porno magazine).

Secondly, could, or should, the sex scene be expanded, or perhaps, written up as another story in its own right?

Thirdly, can I write, or should I take up some other hobby? (Hopefully not hopscotch in a minefield!)

I'd appreciate honest answers to these questions. Thanking you in advance.
Regards,
Joe

 

[Penelope Street]

Could I please be added to the queue?

Hi Joe,

Yes, you certainly may and, since no one else is in the queue, feel free to start your discussion whenever you are ready.

Penny

 

[MissOh]

Hi, I've just written my first BDSM story and am feeling kind of unsure about it so would really appreciate some constructive criticism. Please can I join the queue?

MissOh