sub "sponge"?

[Netzach]

OK - now that is HOT!!!!

Do you ever have a problem reading a sub that is non-responsive? as with a strap-on for example?

(remembering a post from someplace else but not really trying to cause trouble)

Trouble reading? Sure! But that's my problem, not his, or ours, not just his.

 

[Bredon]

The hottest female orgasms I ever witnessed were a friend of mine who went silent and panted. OMG, I almost came watching her.

I think panting *is* a reaction

 

[Ebonyfire]

Do you ever have a problem reading a sub that is non-responsive? as with a strap-on for example?

I have never had a sub who did not make noise while I was plugging them.

It they have communication issues it is usually in normal conversation.

slave is a very shy, non-verbal person which makes him very draining to be around sometimes. But if I am working him over he seems to be able to let go in spite of himself. I spent a long time getting to know his body do that I know what makes him verbalize and what doesn't.

I do not think I would have the energy to try it with a stranger.

Eb

 

[sexychik69]

In your play how important is it that you get a reaction, or that you give a reaction?

Very important... I feel like if I don't whimper, moan, shriek (or whatever noise fits the situation) then there's no way he'll know if what he's attempting to do with me is "working" or if I'm liking it.

When you land a flogger do you expect a flinch?

Yes, definitely. I think it makes things more exciting.

When hit do you move?

I tend to rise up off the chair/floor/sofa/bed at least an inch or so, depending on how hard I'm hit.

When you orgasm do you make noise?

Not a lot, I'm naturally pretty quiet when it actually HITS, but up until that point I'm pretty hard to control.

When you are with someone who is having an orgasm do you want to hear sounds?

Yes, I want to hear how he gets to his climax, I want to hear his panting get raspier.

What do you do if you want a reaction and don't get one?

I'll normally ask a question, like, "Do you want me to do that again?" "Did that feel good?" "Did that hurt?" etc. Normally a question that they'll answer "yes" to... then I'll tell them to show me how much when I do it again.

How do you train someone out of being a "sponge"?

This might be a stupid answer but I think anything's worth trying once... tell them to be QUIET and to NOT move. Normally it makes them whimper, squirm and when you allow them to speak and move they're pretty hard to control. (Speaking of course mostly as a sub, that's what I do, hehe)

 

[Netzach]

I have never had a sub who did not make noise while I was plugging them.

It they have communication issues it is usually in normal conversation.

slave is a very shy, non-verbal person which makes him very draining to be around sometimes. But if I am working him over he seems to be able to let go in spite of himself. I spent a long time getting to know his body do that I know what makes him verbalize and what doesn't.

I do not think I would have the energy to try it with a stranger.

Eb

It's a specific reference, Eb.One of my favorites is very very very non-verbal while getting pegged, and I asked the lit gallery at one point how less-orgasmic people may give off "I think I've been fucked enough" signals, out of curiosity, because even after 7 years it's a little hard to read his. Most humans definitely take it up the rear as you described in my experience.

 

[submissiveknight]

I'm not one who will create noises or reactions. I wouldn't discredit my Mistress in that manner!

That is like taking the pleasure away from Her. The way I see myself as a submissive, is to be a person who is solely there to give Her pleasure.

I'm not going to fake anything to let Her get a false interputation of what She is doing! If I scream, She made me scream! And that goes for any other reaction that She is going to recieve from me.

I was never one to be very vocal when it comes to intimacy. I've always been a quite type. Not to speak for Her, but my feelings are that is one of the true benefits of Her domination of me. She gets reactions from me that I had never been able to express before. In my opinion that gives Her a great pleasure!!!

 

[insertcutename]

In your play how important is it that you get a reaction, or that you give a reaction?

It's not that I HAVE to give a reaction, but I like my Daddy to know that what he is doing to me is affecting me. It also depends on the mood.

When hit do you move?

Yes. It seems to make the pain feel that much better.

When you orgasm do you make noise?

I do, but I wish I could make more noise.

When you are with someone who is having an orgasm do you want to hear sounds?

Yes. I love watching and hearing my Daddy climax. Knowing that I have pleased him fills me with joy.

 

[Ebonyfire]

It's a specific reference, Eb.One of my favorites is very very very non-verbal while getting pegged, and I asked the lit gallery at one point how less-orgasmic people may give off "I think I've been fucked enough" signals, out of curiosity, because even after 7 years it's a little hard to read his. Most humans definitely take it up the rear as you described in my experience.

After reading this, I thought about it, and ya know, I think that the body can have an involuntary response that can be facilitiate reading someone who is very non verbal.

See if this resonates with you...ya know how there are two spincters that must be relaxed for anal to be pleasurable, well I have found that many times one of those gets tight, to the point that it can push out the strap on.

Now I am wonderng is that is an indicator that "enough is enough".

Eb

 

[Netzach]

After reading this, I thought about it, and ya know, I think that the body can have an involuntary response that can be facilitiate reading someone who is very non verbal.

See if this resonates with you...ya know how there are two spincters that must be relaxed for anal to be pleasurable, well I have found that many times one of those gets tight, to the point that it can push out the strap on.

Now I am wonderng is that is an indicator that "enough is enough".

Eb

That's a nice barometer, I bet that's something I've always subconsciously responded to.

 

[Ebonyfire]

That's a nice barometer, I bet that's something I've always subconsciously responded to.

Yep. Something else I noticed. Sometimes the spincter(s) are so tight one of my strap ons will go in without pain even with a lot of lube, and invariably it means that slave is having a bad time at work or his family is bugging him.

Eb

 

[FurryFury]

In your play how important is it that you get a reaction,

Surprisingly important considering that I think I'm only doing it for him. I do want his attention where I want it. It rarely is there. My ego gets in the way sometimes I think.

or that you give a reaction?

I suspect he prefers a reaction. He hasn't specified a great deal but I think I tend to be pretty expressive.

When you land a flogger do you expect a flinch?

Sometimes yes and sometimes no, it depends on how I'm using it and how much notice he has of the stroke.

When hit do you move?

I'd say internally almost always, externally sometimes depending on how often I've been hit and if I knew it was coming, where it hits and how.

When you orgasm do you make noise?

I try not to, I always have but sometimes I make some noise. Almost always there are subtle noises like a change in breathing pattern.

When you are with someone who is having an orgasm do you want to hear sounds?

It depends on the sounds. Do I want to hear cussing and yelling, NO! I can enjoy grunting, growling and such as that.

What do you do if you want a reaction and don't get one?

I start doubting myself and get pissed usually.

How do you train someone out of being a "sponge"?

In terms of BDSM, I've never felt I needed to do so.

Fury

 

[Shankara20]

Yep. Something else I noticed. Sometimes the spincter(s) are so tight one of my strap ons will go in without pain even with a lot of lube, and invariably it means that slave is having a bad time at work or his family is bugging him.

Eb

I understand. When I started doing my own ass play I found I could gage my stress buy how much resistance my butt offered to the toys.

When someone is called a tight-ass, they may in fact have a tight ass....

 

[Shankara20]

When you are with someone who is having an orgasm do you want to hear sounds?

It depends on the sounds. Do I want to hear cussing and yelling, NO! I can enjoy grunting, growling and such as that.

What do you do if you want a reaction and don't get one?

I start doubting myself and get pissed usually.

How do you train someone out of being a "sponge"?

In terms of BDSM, I've never felt I needed to do so.

Fury

As I read through this thread it looks like your opinion is shared by almost everyone that posted. We need some sort of reaction, some feedback of some kind to let us know our effort is showing results.

As I was doing a quick check-in here this morning I remembered the joy of seeing bottoms back start to rise in expectation of the next flog landing as if to say "YES - I want more of exactly what you just did"

I am such a mushy Top sometimes by looking to deliver what it is that will bring satisfaction to bottom....

 

[Kajira Callista]

I'm not so sure I like the term "sponge" ya know *sigh*

 

[Shankara20]

I'm not so sure I like the term "sponge" ya know *sigh*

I agree, the Domme that used it did not use it as a term of endearment - she meant it to be a negative word as in "they just keep sucking up my energy without giving me anything back"

What word would you suggest?

 

[Kajira Callista]

I agree, the Domme that used it did not use it as a term of endearment - she meant it to be a negative word as in "they just keep sucking up my energy without giving me anything back"

What word would you suggest?

I dunno. I am just now learning that it is a bad thing to be that way. I always assumed it was just different and that there were dominants in this world that liked it. I guess I was wrong.

 

[Quint]

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