Submission, and Fear of Committment

[SubKekiLee]

I question myself daily if I am good enough "sub" to myD... He tells me I am good. but we dont see each other daily or as much as Id Like. I know I do everything he asks. Hopefully he does feel I am the one for him forever , he has said even if I have to move away he will stay myD .. so prolly am but trust takes time.. I know this.. to completely let go and let him control my entire life took time. .It didnt happen overnight...

 

[ecstaticsub]

Well,,,maybe this isn't the most submissive reply...but... I know I give everything that I can to my Daddy and I know he is very pleased with me. Over the past 2.5 years we have had our challenges but I have learned so much, he has taught me well. He told me the other night that we fit together like two puzzle pieces..that is a good description in many ways.

Knowing that I please him so much makes me want to strive to do even better.

I was a little afraid to commit at the beginning. This is my first D/s relationship and it all was so new and scary at first. Especially since I am married to someone else and I have children. But my expectations and his fit together so it is working out wonderfully.

 

[HottieMama]

My thoughts are similar to ecstaticsub's. i know i do the best i can on any given day to please LC. He tells me constantly that he is in fact pleased and that i am a very good girl. All i can do is believe that and keep striving to do those things that i know will make him happy.

i trust him to tell me if i am failing to live up to his expectations of me.

 

[CutieMouse]

Well,,,maybe this isn't the most submissive reply...but... I know I give everything that I can to my Daddy and I know he is very pleased with me. Over the past 2.5 years we have had our challenges but I have learned so much, he has taught me well. He told me the other night that we fit together like two puzzle pieces..that is a good description in many ways.

Knowing that I please him so much makes me want to strive to do even better.

I was a little afraid to commit at the beginning. This is my first D/s relationship and it all was so new and scary at first. Especially since I am married to someone else and I have children. But my expectations and his fit together so it is working out wonderfully.

Out of curiosity, why do you describe your response as "maybe this isn't the most submissive reply"?

 

[ecstaticsub]

Out of curiosity, why do you describe your response as "maybe this isn't the most submissive reply"?

Just because the four people who answered before me expressed doubts and/or the fear they weren't good enough.

ETA: I guess I just wasn't sure if being so self-confident was being unsubmissive to some people.

 

[CutieMouse]

Just because the four people who answered before me expressed doubts and/or the fear they weren't good enough.

ETA: I guess I just wasn't sure if being so self-confident was being unsubmissive to some people.

Gotcha...

All I can say on the subject is that when I feel safe and secure, I kick ass at being me, I know I kick ass, and there is no fear in submitting. When I don't feel safe or secure, doubts creep in and I feel insecure and foolish for my submission, but even then I know (deep down) I kick ass at being me, and my fears are most likely irrational.

 

[BarefootM]

I've been married for 11 years and only a few months ago told my husband I wanted to fully submit to him. He was surprised, but ran with it. I got scared because overnight I was needing to ask for everything, right down to what color he wanted my nails to be on a given day.

So we've started talking about absolutely all of it every single week, at a minimum. Everything from where we are hoping to go sexually to what he wants to control in my day to day life. Since we are both very new to this, it is changing all the time. But as long as we keep talking, I have found it to be extremely fun and intense in a very good way. The fear creeps in usually when he sets a new limit for me, but the reality of it thus far has been very good.

I've been realizing more and more that it doesn't have to be anything in particular, it can be whatever we want it to be, and just knowing that makes me feel much better.

 

[HottieMama]

what color he wanted my nails to be on a given day.

Totally OT..but i love it when i'm told what color my nails should be. It's just one of those little things that thrills me.

 

[Netzach]

Maybe I'm a snotty fucker, or maybe he's just not that demanding, but I'm pretty secure on the pleasingness front, and also very secure in the fact that pleasing him isn't going to entail anything really out there. I have no fear of losing autonomy, I have fears that I won't lose enough autonomy or that I'll be so annoying in my desire to be told what to do that I'll make a pleasure into a chore. Fortunately I think we're both just really into our versatility, so if I want control *that* badly, I can have it for a little while and get it out of my system.

Reservations, though? Almost a decade of them. Mostly fear that if I submit I'd feel myself dry up and die if he left. I don't feel that way now. And frankly, being the top didn't protect me from falling that much in love, or going through that just as much. I'm as naked and as vulnerable with my hand in his ass as I am with his hand in my ass - adoration does odd things to a person.

Not that I want him less, more than ever in fact -- but I'm much more scared to not be the entire panoply of myself, to not be thorough and authentic with him than to risk what I risk in being that. Everyone parts eventually - and I like to think that when we do, I'll have loved as much and as best as I can, witholding nothing.