Talking to Myself

[MischiefMakerAlways]

Ugh... So. Fucking. Horny!

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

Frayle... Oh my!

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I want to start drinking as soon as I wake up. There will be 20 people, maybe 22, and I don't want anything to do with it. I know some people will be alone and I should be thankful to be "surrounded by people that love me," but it's not that simple.

I hope others have a great weekend.

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

I really don't want to decorate outside for Christmas. It's cold as balls, I live at the end of a dead end street, and it's a lot of work on a ladder. Am I the Grinch?

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

Just 10 more years, I'm 80% done, just 10 more. Hell, maybe only 6 more. All the kids will have graduated high school. Maybe it's 10 so I ensure their college is covered.
Yeah, that must be it.

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

4 years. That's how long we've been in this round of marriage counseling. In almost 20 years, we've spent over 1/3 of it in marriage counseling. This is a faith-based center and the current counselor asked to meet me solo for a couple sessions.

Basically, she's asked me why I'm still pushing on in this and why I don't just file for divorce. Coming from a woman, in a very conservative setting, based on "divorce is almost never the right answer," it sort of caught me off guard.

So why am I still attached? Because she's threatened to use my mental health issues as fuel to alienate my children from me. She would make a case to the court that I'm not stable enough to have unsupervised interaction with my kids; which is absolute bullshit. But, that's the most powerful reason. She said she'd do everything in her power to make me suffer. That's fucked up.

I don't care about the money; sure, I'd pay a SHIT TON of alimony, but I wouldn't put a price on freedom. And of course I'll pay child support, but that wouldn't even need to be court ordered - I'd obviously always take care of my kids.

Fuck.

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

Such a busy weekend, remarkably grateful for a low-demand job.
Had two performances this weekend for me (sold out Holiday Pops Concert for the 2nd year in a row!)
Eldest son was in an All-State Band at a University on Saturday and also performed before my ensemble at the community tree lighting celebration.
Tonight is high school vocal concert, but I have a pounding headache - really hope it doesn't convert to a migraine

I want to sleep for days.

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

Best story I've read yet: https://www.literotica.com/s/a-weekend-at-charlottes
I'm not normally a fan of reading from the male perspective, but this is exceptionally well done.

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

Marriage therapy, again. Went about as well as expected.
"If I understand, you're content, or at least okay with how things are and..."
"No, not okay, resigned; there is a significant difference."

But hey, got to hear my (not so) baby girl sing her first solo, and she did remarkably well. I'm so proud of her. It takes a lot of guts to sing in front of a couple hundred people.

 

[gillrich]

I need to do Christmas shopping earlier this year, not in the last two days

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

I need to do Christmas shopping earlier this year, not in the last two days

I actually have 95% done AND wrapped. It's a miracle

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

If anyone sees an easy button laying around, I could really use it.

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

I'm at work. Am I working? No.

I feel as though the week before big holidays is like the 2nd semester of the senior year of high school. Just absolutely no desire to do a damn thing!

Also, been sleeping like absolute shit, so that doesn't help.

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

Oye vey... First of several Christmas gatherings.
Going to my parents' house to see my brother and his family. Not looking forward to this. Sister in law is a bitch, she's created a clone of herself in my preteen niece, and my brother is a successful putz. My nephew is alright, but he's also young, so who knows how that'll go. Dad is cognitive issues and mom has borderline personality disorder and I think dementia is setting in.

There isn't enough booze to get me through this evening. Especially since sister in law doesn't enjoy alcohol, therefore no one should.

For the first time, I think I'm fighting legitimate anxiety.