The Chyoo Ball

[AaronWebster]

"Sorry what where you saying about a label?" Dacia asked Aaron while swinging her hips round to look for the offending item. The effect was to stick her taught rump out right in front of the deliriously happy Aaron?

As the Australian beauty swung her hips in his general direction, the long side split in her dress exposed yet more tanned perfect thigh. Aaron tried hard not to drool after the the manner of Homer Simpson.

"$600!" cried Dacia, multitasking effortlessly.

Somewhere in the background, lilguy returned and Tim was removed.

Aaron had eyes only for the perfect figure before him. He reached out one hand and let it slide slowly over the soft curve of Dacia hips towards the offending label (hoping that she wouldn't notice that he was taking the scenic route).

"Its... right... here..." he said as slowly as he could, putting off the moment when he might have to actually pull the damn thing off.

 

[niceguy2002tim]

Out of the shawdows steps lilguy. He is smoking a cigaret

What exactly is a “cigaret”, is it another word for COCK?

Back to the story...

Suddenly, the doors swung open and Niceguy burst back into the Chyoo Ball.

“Hold it right there!” he shouted to Lilguy.

Lilguy screamed like a little girl… then, soiling his pants said, “it’s Sanchez… get him guys!”

“Lilguy, you don’t have any guys. They’ve all abandoned you,” Tim said.

“But… but… I don’t understand,” sobbed Lilguy.

Everybody was silent now as Lilguy and Niceguy were face to face in the middle of the ball room.

“Why don’t you tell them the truth, Lilguy,” Niceguy said.

“You’re Sanchez!” Lilguy said in his defense.

From behind the crowd came a loud voice. “Lilguy is lying!” Everybody turned around to see this mysterious figure. The person was greeted by mixed responses, mostly “who is it?”

“I am Lilguy2,” said the person stepping into the light. The crowd gasped as they all parted to allow the new comer to enter the room.

“My real name is Allen Greensburg and I am with the E.T.I.U. Tim knows what I am talking about, but for the rest of you, E.T.I.U. stands for Extra Terrestrial Investigation Unit. Tim has been working with us for a while now. We set up the situation with Donger, leading Lilguy to believe they were linked together in the chain of bloody murders. Once Lilguy was sucked in, we pushed the envelope further… having Chyoo set up,” said the man.

“You mean Chyoo isn’t real?” asked somebody in the crowd.

“The site was meant to lure Lilguy in, but has become rather popular. None-the-less, Lilguy here is not Lilguy at all.”

“What are you saying?” questioned one of the other Chyoo’ers.

“Lilguy isn’t even from this planet. We were afraid he could be dangerous… but after our investigation, we’ve learned that he couldn’t hurt a fly. If you have noticed that Lilguy’s spelling and writing is very poor, you’re right. English is his second language, we are not yet sure of his first.”

“Allow me to reveal the truth!” said Niceguy walking toward Lilguy.

Lilguy tried to back away, but bumped into something solid. He spun his head around to see Mr. Donger standing behind him. “Hi handsome,” he said in his Michael Clark Duncan like voice. Tim reached out and grabbed Lilguy by his hair, and pulled. Amazingly his face, ears and hair all pulled away with very little trouble. Under the mask was something that nobody at the Ball had ever seen before.

“Oh my god, he’s a little green man!” shouted somebody from the crowd.

“That’s right, he’s an alien,” Tim told the crowd.

“Normally when we come in contact with an alien from another planet we let them be. They usually bend in for a while, see what this planet has to offer, then they go on their way. Lilguy however is a different story. For the past 3 years he’s been posing as that 13 year old Lilguy by day, then under the cover of night he has been mutilating cows and sticking people with anal probes - left and right!”

“He’s gone too far,” agreed Tim.

“Oh no… I thought it was just a bad dream. Last night I was in my bed and Lilguy came into my room and forced an anal probe on me,” said a large fat guy standing in the front row. He was wearing a pair of dirty bib-overalls and had a thick chicken leg in one hand and a tall boy in the other hand. He chewed a piece of the meat from the bone, followed it with a swig of beer, then burped. “Yep, Lilguy stuck his thing in my ass…” he added.

“Let’s get him!” screamed Dacia as she pulled back her fist. Her first punch connected, “that’s for the fat man,” she screamed. Her second punch landed square in Lilguy’s green face. “That’s for Niceguy,” she screamed. The third, fourth and fifth hard punches crashed into lilguy. “That’s for wrecking the Chyoo Ball, that’s for your spelling mistakes, that’s for your bad grammar,” Dacia shouted as she continued to pound Lilguy into raw meat.

Tim grabbed Dacia from behind, craftily slipping his arms around her body and grabbing her chest. He pulled her away from the now sobbing Lilguy. “I think he’s had enough.”

“Not yet he hasn’t,” said Kitty stepping up. “All the money in the world wouldn’t be enough for you to get a piece of this,” she added before slapping Lilguy across the face.

Next was the moderator of Chyoo, wearing his phantom mask. “You bring disgrace to the art of wearing a mask,” he told Lilguy. The moderator removed his mask and threw it in Lilguy’s face.

There was a high shriek as a little midget came running out of the crowd and kicked, swigging his little leg for all he was worth. The little man’s shoe drove hard into Lilguy’s nuts, and brought Lilguy to his knees. The midget looked him in the eyes, “that was from all those anal probes you stuck in my ass, and for Betsy... MY COW!”

From out side everybody heard the screech of tires, then a mixture of movement. A large group of people in yellow containment suits flooded the ballroom. They scooped Lilguy up and dragged him out of the Chyoo Ball. Tim watched as they threw him into the back of a large armored truck. A couple seconds later the truck and the people in the yellow suits were gone. Dacia walked up to Tim, “I knew you were Sanchez,” she said, then gave Tim a peck on the cheek.

“KITTY is SOLD to that woman for $600!” shouted the phantom moderator, no longer wearing his mask, and pointing at Dacia.

“Ahhhh come on!” protested Aaron.

“Show us a little girl on girl action!” shouted the drunk Lostandfound, to the two first ladies of Chyoo.

*Author's Note: I apologize to any Alien's who were offended by the idea of Lilguy being one of them. On a serious note, I hope nobody was bothered by this thread.*

+No cows were harmed in the writing of this thread.+

 

[fanficnut]

Note- I was botherd but guess that doesnt matter any who


"So did he fall for it" Said lilguy takine off the aline mask revealing a hansome face.

"Yea" Said man in suit" I told niceguy the story while we went down on each other. the man really does love sausage"


"great will be watching him so he leads us to the boss down the line"


"So why does the guy hate you so. I mean why can't he let a lot of these thing go as live his own damm life" Said the man

"You know I don't know..maybe we were enemies in a pass life, maybe He was a dealer that I upset when I was an FBI, maybe were destine to battle or maybe just maybe he just a doucebag.


Lilguy walked out

"wont he regonize you and try to anal rape you again" The man in alien suit

"Naaa never seen my real face. Going to get back to the party. Thinking after that maybe the guy will get off my cock"

"Yea I doubt it probally just redo everything you said with some homophobic thread. Something about monky pirates raping your your ass or something. The sick cock sucking bastard"

"Yea your probally right..but I am going to try to get back to the party anyway

 

[lostandfounder]

As Lilguy is unmasked and the strange aftermath takes place I look on in shock and bewilderment.

I shake my head and say to nobody in particular, "Did I just watch a midget kick an alien in the gonads?" I look around
wildly, my eyes focus on the spiked punchbowl "What the hell is in that punch? "

Suddenly, the phantom moderator annonuces the bidding for Kitty is over and that Dacia is the winner. I yell out "Show us a
little girl on girl action!" I say, and quickly clap my hand over my mouth. I must still be feeling the after effects of the punch.
Wait, what am I saying? Of course I am.

The phantom moderator speaks up, "Now for the second bachorlete of the evening, Daciadesire!" Dacia jumps up on stage
AaronWebster looks like his ice cream just melted. I guess he waited too long. Dacia sticks the calf of her leg through the slit
of her dress, teasing with just a hint of skin. Dacia blows a kiss to Kitty and the Phantom Moderator says, "Do I hear $100?"

A thought suddenly occurs, if Dacia bought Kitty, and I buy Dacia....

oh....my.....god....My hand shoots up in the air "$100!"

 

[niceguy2002tim]

Tim's departure

Tim looked around at the still shocked people. He wasn't sure if the shock was from the whole Alien thing... or if it was from Dacia buying Kitty.

He looked at Lostandfound, who was trying hard to bid on Dacia. "Well my drunk friend," Tim said reaching for his wallet. "I wish you the best luck. here, take this $100."

"Dacia will be mine now!" he shouted excitedly.

"I think I've had enough for one night. It seems like the night will never end. And that Lilguy... I have a feeling our paths will meet again," said Tim removing his name tag.

Tim passed a man on his way out, and the little hairs on the back of his neck stood up. The man smiled and entered into the ballroom. "It couldn't have been him..." Tim spoke under his breath. He shook his head and climbed into his car and departed from the Chyoo Ball.

Back inside Lostandfound added the $100 to his roll of cash and put in a bid for $200 in the attempt to get Dacia and hopefully Kitty too.

 

[lilguy]

300"


Fanfic said


He walked up to Kitty and gave a wave as he tipped his hat. Kitty swoons a bit at the boyish looking black man. He looked over at lost and said

"You going to lose this bid my freind..for today the day IS MIND!!"

 

[niceguy2002tim]

LAME

300"


Fanfic said


He walked up to Kitty and gave a wave as he tipped his hat. Kitty swoons a bit at the boyish looking black man. He looked over at lost and said

"You going to lose this bid my freind..for today the day IS MIND!!"

This is why Niceguy went home from the Chyoo Ball.

-Tim

 

[Torg]

Torg flips through a stack of mail he found slipped under the cushions of the couch. The maid must have been hiding stuff under there for months, since he found other missing items, like a universal remote, car keys, the cat, $36.81 in change, etc. He'll have to discipline the maid next time she cleans. He opens one brown envelope and yanks out the contents.

Scanning the letter, he screams, "Omigod! I missed the CHYOO Ball! It started last March!" His long ponytail flies as he buries his head in his hands.

He bemoans the fact that he won't be able to schmooze with his fellow authors, get drunk with them, and, perhaps, gain carnal knowledge of some of them. He won't be able to wear his green double-breasted suit that he usually reserves for job interviews and other fancy affairs.

 

[brevdravis]

Stuart woke up with a pounding headache. He hadn't missed the chyoo ball at all. He'd just been in a coma, that's all. And uh, in prison. Yeah, that's it. In a coma in prison. Ok, he was in Pennsylvania.....



(With apologies to Dacia)

Stuart

 

[lostandfounder]

Must win

I suddenly get the feeling that others are coming to the ball. Ohhhh! I can't take any chances! I have to raise my own bid for Dacia, I can't let this opportunity slip through my fingers!

"Two-hundred and fifty!" I shout up the stage.

The booze seems to be finally wearing off. I watch as Tim leaves the room. That's too bad, he seems like a nice guy for a Canadian (TAMPA BAY RULES!) and it's sad to see him leave....or is it?

The money he gave me and the fact that it means one less rival makes it that much more likely that I'll be the one who wins this auction...and get both Dacia and Kitty.

I twist my head and look around...damn...two lovely ladies...I hope gystex doesn't get wind of this...

"Two fifty going once..." says the phantom moderator.

"Two fifty going twice..." I begin to shake with excitement. I'm going to win! I'm going to win!

 

[kendahl6969]

New state slogan, "Pennsylvania..it's like a prison"

*OOC* Welcome back, Stuart!

Ed looks at the $550 burning a hole in his pocket since the thwarted effort at a wining bid on Christy.

He shoots his hand up! "$300!" he shouts, getting it in just before bidding is finalized.

 

[augy6666]

new particapant

A shout from the back of the room, "$350".

Every person looks toward the rear of the room and finds a timid person raising his hand. A few people know him as augy6666. The mood of room changes as the bidders realize the bidding will become brutal.

 

[gystex]

Gystex kicks back with a grin - this party is shaping up better than he'd thought. First of all, there was that whole crazy mess with lilguy, most of which had seemed confusing and peculiar at the time, but there was no denying that at the very least someone had been hit with a sandbag and that was something. Now he was back and bidding for Dacia, and therefore Kitty as well since Dacia had won that one.

For a moment, Gystex considers putting in a bid himself; hell, the idea of having two women at once is one that sits very, very well with him... but in the end, he's just too shy to actually live his fantasies. Better to stay in the crowd and just be Mysterious.

Still, it wouldn't do to have lilguy, or fanficnut, or whoever he was take the prize. The honor belonged to someone who could give a proper report of the evening yet to come.

Gystex pulls out his wallet and counts through his cash. There's enough there for Gystex to put in a respectable bid of his own... or, in exchange for video and film rights, he might be willing to supplement an otherwise losing bidder...

A phone ringing at his side interrupts his thoughts. It seems as though Dacia left her cell behind before heading up on stage. With an impulse born of a pair of Long Island Iced Teas, Gystex flips open the phone.

"CHYOO Ball. Gystex speaking."

Pause.

"Oh, hi Torg? What's up?"

Pause.

"Nah, we're just getting started. Come on down!"

Pause.

"Green? Double-breasted? Well, to each their own..."

Pause.

"Sure, we'll look forward to seeing you. Cheers!"

Gystex hangs up the phone and takes a look around at the main bidders. LostandFounder, the newcomer. Kendahl "Ed" 6969, who maybe deserves a break after missing out on Christy. And just coming through the door is augy6666.

Just going out the door is Niceguytim. Gystex starts to head after him, but then realizes he might miss the most important auction of the evening. Still, it wouldn't do to let Tim leave the party just because he and lilguy couldn't work out their differences. Gystex snaps his fingers to summon Tina and Trixie, all-but-forgotten having spent the past half hour licking each other's tongues in the corner. If they couldn't get Tim back into the party, at least they could see to it that he had a pleasant evening away from it.

Back to the bidding. Really, Gystex thinks, shouldn't Dacia have some say in this? She kind of got shoved up onto the stage, after all - maybe she doesn't even want to be up there. Gystex searches her eyes for any signal insofar as who she might be hoping to emerge as the victor...

 

[Torg]

After talking to Gystex, Torg decides to go to the ball after all. He dumps the suit and goes more for 'Party' than for 'Interview'. He grabs a red silk shirt out of his closet along with a nice butt-hugging pair of black dockers. He combs his hair into a ponytail and heads for the taxi.

 

[kendahl6969]

"Ratz!" says Ed, hearing the call from behind him. He shoots his hand up. "$400!" he yells, feeling the adrenalin rush of a bidding war.

 

[niceguy2002tim]

Tim was almost to his car when his foot came down hard in a deep puddle of water. “Son of a Bitch!” he shouted as he felt the water sink into his shoe. He opened his car door and climbed in. Once he was in the driver’s seat he slammed the door hard, cursing under his breath. The night had started out great, but gradually it had slipped downward. Just as he was about to start the car and zoom away from the Ball, there was a soft knock at his window. “What the *&%$ now?” he asked as he started to unroll the window. Standing there he saw Gystex’s two beautiful escorts for the evening.

“Sorry… I didn’t mean… ugh…” Tim said feeling horrible for using such foul language.

“It’s ok, honey,” spoke the girl who had knocked on the glass.

“Ugh… what can I do for you ladies?” Tim asked.

“Gystex wants you to come back inside,” said the other girl.

“Thanks, but no thanks. I’ve had enough for one night,” Tim told the girls.

The first girl leaned into the window and the smell of sweet perfume filled Tim’s nostrils. The girl smell good enough to eat. Tim laughed at the thought.

“Gystex told us to make your night and if you’re not coming back in there… we’re coming in there with you,” said the beautiful smelling girl as she licked her lips.

Tim looked around, making sure he was still parked in a secluded spot of the parking lot; and he was. “How could I refuse that?” he said, inviting the girls into his car.

Maybe the ball would end as great as it had started.

Back inside, the Chyoo moderator looked jealously at the men all bidding for Dacia. The moderator wished he could be out there bidding, while one of them where standing on the stage.

"$400!" called Ed from his spot in the crowd.

The moderator sighed and began the count down for Dacia.

"Going Once... Going Twice... Going..."

Before he could finish the third going somebody called another bid...

 

[brevdravis]

"A Shrubbery!"

Everyone turns to look at the wiseass entering the room. He's about 5'10, with short spiky blond hair. Combined with the high forehead, it gives him a look a bit like Sonic the Hedgehog.

Brevdravis has not dressed exceptionally well for the occasion, merely donning his "english professor", a tweed jacket and pants. The overall image is pretty bizarre. He appears to have arrived stag for the evening, and unfasionably late.

"Sorry, sorry, I'll shut up!" Brev laughs, looking around. "Uh, was there a fight or something?"

He smirks, and then shouts out something that everybody knew was coming.

"I'll give a thread for anybody who gets me a beer."

He snickers, running his hand through his hair. Now that he's made a total ass of himself, he decides to sit back and see how the bidding goes.

 

[daciasdesire]

The betting seemed to have come to a halt at four hundred dollars. Although a respectable figure Dacia was a bit disappointed with how the bidding had gone. Kitty had sold for six hundred after all, admittedly it was to herself. Dacia guessed it must be the longer dress she was wearing compared to Kittys' that was causing the lack of bids.

In a flash of daring Dacia had an idea that might cause a surge of bids. She grabbed the microphone off the phantom moderator and addressed the crowd. "Four hundred dollars! Is that all I hear for a private strip show between Kitty and Myself for the winner."

The phantom moderator had to grab the microphone back off the bronze Aussie as a rush of bids came flooding in. "Four-Fifty!"

"Five Hundred!"

"Five-Fifty!"

"Five Hundred and Seventy Five!"

Dacia mimed up on stage the imaginary striptease movements she would do for the winner. Her moves becoming increasingly brazen with each higher offer until it seemed she was doing something very naughty with an imaginary Kitty in front of her. The phantom moderator had to use the lectern to hide his appreciation for the show

 

[Ooohkitty]

Standing there wondering if i should bid on someone who already won my bid when i see Dacia steal the mic from the MC.

"Four hundred dollars! Is that all I hear for a private strip show between Kitty and Myself for the winner."Dacia says.

What did she just say!?!?

The glass of pinot drops out of my hand. The glass shatters into a thousand pieces as it hits marble floor.

"I...I...umm..." i mumble to myself as i stare up at the stage.

"you can do this Christy. Look at her she is lovely. Forget about all you fears and worries tonight Christy. Just let me take care of everything" a voice inside me says.

I smile up at Dacia with a wicked grin and lick my lips as once again Kitty takes over.

 

[brevdravis]

Brev can't believe what he's hearing, staring at the lovely Dacia and Kitty. He jumps to his feet waving the contents of his wallet.

"Seven hundred forty three dollars and 26 cents!"

He looks a bit embarrassed, since he's pretty sure his wife is watching the webcam broadcast of the ball, but he really doesn't care.

"Unfortunately it's all I have right now..." He mumbles sheepishly, staring at the enchanting beauties on the stage. As a late arrival he didn't have the opportunity to bid on Kitty, but perhaps the opportunity hadn't totally been lost.

Brev had a serious threesome fetish, as anybody who had ever read one of his threads would easily spot. The thought of Dacia and Kitty... Two talented authors... drool.....


Stuart

 

[kendahl6969]

The bidding continues..

Though Ed felt dejected at being bid out of his $500 price range, he couldn't help but watch as Dacia writhed onstage for the benefit of those continuing to bid on her.

Hearing a loud splintering of glass from nearby, he turned to see a stunned-looking Christy looking at Dacia onstage. 'Surely, it couldn't be Dacia's bump and grind antics that caused the reaction' he thought. 'Could it be the Aussie's offer of her participation in the strip show?' he further mused, his mind a whirl with the help of the spiked punch. Christy hardly seemed a shrinking violet.

'Or was it Stuart's recent bid? She seemed to have had the hots for him early on..'

He watched the bidding continue as Dacia appeared to consort with a phantom lover.

 

[gystex]

Gystex barely felt his fresh drink slip from his hand, hardly noticed the splash of liquor and ice against his leg, and didn't pay any attention whatsoever to the horrible scream of pain as he stepped on the hand of the poor fellow who came over to clean it up. His theory about Dacia maybe not wanting to be up on stage had just gone out the window and into the stratosphere.

Enough wallflowering, he thought. Time for action!

The first thing to do was to get rid of whoever that was running the auction - probably one of the site moderators who therefore certainly deserved what was about to happen to him. Gystex stepped boldly up to the stage and, with a borrowed champagne bottle, delivered a solid whack to the back of the auctioneer's skull. Little birds tweeted around his head as he slumped to the stage floor.

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen," Gystex said with a smirk. "I think it's time we settled this little bidding duel and got on with our evening! Now, obviously as the auctioneer, I'm not in a position to bid myself, and in any event the previous bidder has gone slightly beyond my budget for the evening.

"However, I think it's only fair that we all have a good idea of what it really is we're bidding on, don't all of you?"

The crowd's reaction left little room for doubt.

"That being the case, I'd like to invite Miss Kitty to come up here on the stage with us... that's right, please don't be shy... so that she can stand with Dacia and give us a real idea of what's at stake here. And, of course, if our lovely ladies care to do anything more than just stand... well, that's up to them, isn't it?"

"The bidding stands at $743.26, and our current leader is Brev, recently back from hiatus - Hi, Brev! Any further bids to be had?"

Caught up in the moment, Gystex failed to notice that he had stepped into the spotlight, thus for the first time revealing his face to his fellow CHYOOers...

 

[lostandfounder]

Gystex faded back into the darkness. I shout out, "Hey, was that guy Irish? Wasn't expecting that!"

Gystex replies testily, "Do you have a bid Lost?"

I look into my wallet. Damn it....I've only got about seven hundred dollars. What am I going to do? I can't let this opportunity pass me by...

Suddenly a thought occurs...All the money that was for my campaign for President of Chyoo...I could use that! With Kitty on my ticket there is no way I could possibly lose anyway... That would bring me up to...

I yell, "$856. 96!.....and ten threads to your stories if you bring that gavel down fast!"