The Confessional

[Britwitch]

Many fairy tale things are scary.
Like...say...wandeirng in the woods

grins as she thinks back to a thread written a long time ago

Good to know someone else understands where I'm coming from

 

[Noon_Shadow]

I confess to some mental procrastination before working on my threads. I confess that, after just 1.5 beers, my mind relaxed enough to make it much, much easier.

Nods.

 

[zydrate]

I confess to some mental procrastination before working on my threads. I confess that, after just 1.5 beers, my mind relaxed enough to make it much, much easier.

Nods.

Drinking on a Sunday? Tsk Tsk.... Hehehehe

 

[Noon_Shadow]

Drinking on a Sunday? Tsk Tsk.... Hehehehe

I know, right! And they don't make it easy here, since you can't buy alcohol on Sundays in this county. It's almost as if my neighbors might disapprove of my lifestyle!

 

[zydrate]

I know, right! And they don't make it easy here, since you can't buy alcohol on Sundays in this county. It's almost as if my neighbors might disapprove of my lifestyle!

You live within screaming distance of people?

 

[Noon_Shadow]

You live within screaming distance of people?

Yes. Especially when the windows are open.

And yourself?

 

[zydrate]

Yes. Especially when the windows are open.

And yourself?

Ummm...I can't tell you.... Hehehe

 

[Noon_Shadow]

ICT I am much less helpful than I could be.

 

[smart_and_sexytxgirl]

ICT I still like poptarts.

 

[Firmhanded_Daddy]

ICT: I am blessed to have a few wonderful friends, and some great writers. They pick me up more than I could ever thank them for.

 

[chronicle_tenko]

ICT: Most people on the board are too good for me.

I also confess that there are people I do not like, but treat well, and people I do like who I do not. I apologize to both of you. Neither of you deserves what i give you. There are people I actually hate here. They have earned it. There are people I avoid because of this, they have not. I apologize to them too. There are people caught in the middle. I apologize to them most of all.

I confess that my spell check is stuck on American, but I type in proper English. I confess this bothers me. Lastly I confess that am too tired to do much today, but that I will keep my promises. Those at least should make me feel better.

 

[dragonrazor]

I confess that I never really claimed I was normal. In fact, I take pride in being strange.

 

[absorb]

I confess, that I liked pegging my husband last night..and he did too!

 

[smiley8022]

So I may not visit the Lounge too often when I'm on Lit, but this has always been the one thread that I've turned to when I've been lost/confused in the past. I think it helps to just get things off of my chest, so I can breathe once again. I know that people may not read it/skip right over this, and millions of others may skim through it and actually have their heart go out to me.

That's not the reason I'm writing this though.. I'm writing this because I have nobody else to talk to, and I just need to get some things out in the opening, say it to somebody, somewhere, some time. I don't really care who reads this, I just need to get it out there.

I am lost.

I'm so lost, I don't even know how to backtrack to the person I used to be. I used to be happy, so content with life, so blessed, and so nice to others. Lately, I've just been ill-tempered, impatient, tired, snappy, rude even. And that's not me. So do tell me, what happened to me? Where did I go? What did I do to become this person?

I am lost.

Help me.

One one hand, I know that the other girl, the girl I once was, she's still here. She's just been pushed aside because my defensive side has wrapped me up and taken over, protecting my heart and keeping me safe. But do I want her to? I'm afraid that I've been liking a boy a little too much, and I'm not even sure if the feeling is mutual.

*Sigh*

I think that's enough for one night, yeah? Sorry if I've written to much, gotten in somebody's way, or disturbed any of you.

But quite frankly, I'm happy I did this.

 

[Firmhanded_Daddy]

So I may not visit the Lounge too often when I'm on Lit, but this has always been the one thread that I've turned to when I've been lost/confused in the past. I think it helps to just get things off of my chest, so I can breathe once again. I know that people may not read it/skip right over this, and millions of others may skim through it and actually have their heart go out to me.

That's not the reason I'm writing this though.. I'm writing this because I have nobody else to talk to, and I just need to get some things out in the opening, say it to somebody, somewhere, some time. I don't really care who reads this, I just need to get it out there.

I am lost.

I'm so lost, I don't even know how to backtrack to the person I used to be. I used to be happy, so content with life, so blessed, and so nice to others. Lately, I've just been ill-tempered, impatient, tired, snappy, rude even. And that's not me. So do tell me, what happened to me? Where did I go? What did I do to become this person?

I am lost.

Help me.

One one hand, I know that the other girl, the girl I once was, she's still here. She's just been pushed aside because my defensive side has wrapped me up and taken over, protecting my heart and keeping me safe. But do I want her to? I'm afraid that I've been liking a boy a little too much, and I'm not even sure if the feeling is mutual.

*Sigh*

I think that's enough for one night, yeah? Sorry if I've written to much, gotten in somebody's way, or disturbed any of you.

But quite frankly, I'm happy I did this.

I understand this more than most might. This is something in the past year I have wrestled with. Just how do you go about finding who you are again when you feel things shift and change? When you notice that you are becoming a person you never thought you would be?

The thing is there is no easy answer. Everyone is wired differently, everyone seeks comfort in different ways, finds answers in their own manner.

Sometimes in seeking to fix this, we find more questions than answers. I've been lucky the past oh... six months give or take. I have found wonderful people to surround myself with that brighten my days, lighten my loads, and are there to listen when I need to vent/bitch/self critique.

In finding whatever way you do to deal with what troubles you keep one important thing in mind. You are going to fall on your face a time or two. That's ok. The key is finding the right people who will hang in your corner when you do and help you get back up, encourage you to try again.

I hope you find what you are looking for.

FD.

 

[smiley8022]

I understand this more than most might. This is something in the past year I have wrestled with. Just how do you go about finding who you are again when you feel things shift and change? When you notice that you are becoming a person you never thought you would be?

The thing is there is no easy answer. Everyone is wired differently, everyone seeks comfort in different ways, finds answers in their own manner.

Sometimes in seeking to fix this, we find more questions than answers. I've been lucky the past oh... six months give or take. I have found wonderful people to surround myself with that brighten my days, lighten my loads, and are there to listen when I need to vent/bitch/self critique.

In finding whatever way you do to deal with what troubles you keep one important thing in mind. You are going to fall on your face a time or two. That's ok. The key is finding the right people who will hang in your corner when you do and help you get back up, encourage you to try again.

I hope you find what you are looking for.

FD.

Your words mean so much more to me than you could possibly know.

I've been struggling for the past few months, and the problem is, half the time I'm not even sure what I'm struggling with. Whether it's a problem, an emotion, jealousy eating up at me, a dying addiction, or just the small bumps that life throws my way, they all seem so much bigger than they actually are!

Like you've mentioned, it takes a while. And I'm going to fall flat on my face, but I know that I can't give up. I just have to close my eyes, take a deep breath, and let realization sink in that everything will get better. It just takes time. I know that I'm not going to wake up and overnight everything be better.

But like I previously mentioned, I just feel so lost within myself, that I feel as if I've met a breaking point in my life, and I'm just about to fall over into the darkness. I don't want that, I really don't. I just have to work to stay away from the cliff. I need to regain my strength, and bury all the skeletons in my closet.

But just knowing that at least one person in the billions of people on this earth and site read my words, replied with his own comforting words, and wants to help me, you have no idea how much it means to me. So thank you, from the bottom of my heart

 

[Firmhanded_Daddy]

Your words mean so much more to me than you could possibly know.

I've been struggling for the past few months, and the problem is, half the time I'm not even sure what I'm struggling with. Whether it's a problem, an emotion, jealousy eating up at me, a dying addiction, or just the small bumps that life throws my way, they all seem so much bigger than they actually are!

Like you've mentioned, it takes a while. And I'm going to fall flat on my face, but I know that I can't give up. I just have to close my eyes, take a deep breath, and let realization sink in that everything will get better. It just takes time. I know that I'm not going to wake up and overnight everything be better.

But like I previously mentioned, I just feel so lost within myself, that I feel as if I've met a breaking point in my life, and I'm just about to fall over into the darkness. I don't want that, I really don't. I just have to work to stay away from the cliff. I need to regain my strength, and bury all the skeletons in my closet.

But just knowing that at least one person in the billions of people on this earth and site read my words, replied with his own comforting words, and wants to help me, you have no idea how much it means to me. So thank you, from the bottom of my heart

You are so very welcome, Smiley.

 

[LitShark]

So I may not visit the Lounge too often when I'm on Lit, but this has always been the one thread that I've turned to when I've been lost/confused in the past. I think it helps to just get things off of my chest, so I can breathe once again. I know that people may not read it/skip right over this, and millions of others may skim through it and actually have their heart go out to me.

That's not the reason I'm writing this though.. I'm writing this because I have nobody else to talk to, and I just need to get some things out in the opening, say it to somebody, somewhere, some time. I don't really care who reads this, I just need to get it out there.

I am lost.

I'm so lost, I don't even know how to backtrack to the person I used to be. I used to be happy, so content with life, so blessed, and so nice to others. Lately, I've just been ill-tempered, impatient, tired, snappy, rude even. And that's not me. So do tell me, what happened to me? Where did I go? What did I do to become this person?

I am lost.

Help me.

One one hand, I know that the other girl, the girl I once was, she's still here. She's just been pushed aside because my defensive side has wrapped me up and taken over, protecting my heart and keeping me safe. But do I want her to? I'm afraid that I've been liking a boy a little too much, and I'm not even sure if the feeling is mutual.

*Sigh*

I think that's enough for one night, yeah? Sorry if I've written to much, gotten in somebody's way, or disturbed any of you.

But quite frankly, I'm happy I did this.

I know this feeling so well. I wish that I could say it gets better, but it never really goes away. We're all just rudderless boats knocking into one another in a sea without a shore.

The good news, Smiley, is that you're young and you've got a ton of potential. A better way to think of that "Darkness" inside, is to imagine it as the empty space that comes from you growing as a person. Think of that space as a blank canvass, and in it you can take something from the life of the girl you dreamed of being early in life and fill that hole with it. Guitar lessons, poetry, painting, violin, Hemingway novels, friends, whatever... What's past is prologue.

We all have baggage and while it hurts to carry it around, but our darkest traumas and most humiliating failures tend to do the most for shaping our individual experience, our character- if you will. Pain teaches us all more than books ever can, the pain is a blessing because it makes us all unique. You smiley, are the brilliant, sparkling product of your pain. Don't fear it, wear it like a badge of honor. You survived yourself. Not everyone does.

Rejoice in your uncertainty, you have time and freedom to choose whatever future you'll come to desire for yourself. You don't need all the answers now.

 

[smiley8022]

I know this feeling so well. I wish that I could say it gets better, but it never really goes away. We're all just rudderless boats knocking into one another in a sea without a shore.

The good news, Smiley, is that you're young and you've got a ton of potential. A better way to think of that "Darkness" inside, is to imagine it as the empty space that comes from you growing as a person. Think of that space as a blank canvass, and in it you can take something from the life of the girl you dreamed of being early in life and fill that hole with it. Guitar lessons, poetry, painting, violin, Hemingway novels, friends, whatever... What's past is prologue.

We all have baggage and while it hurts to carry it around, but our darkest traumas and most humiliating failures tend to do the most for shaping our individual experience, our character- if you will. Pain teaches us all more than books ever can, the pain is a blessing because it makes us all unique. You smiley, are the brilliant, sparkling product of your pain. Don't fear it, wear it like a badge of honor. You survived yourself. Not everyone does.

Rejoice in your uncertainty, you have time and freedom to choose whatever future you'll come to desire for yourself. You don't need all the answers now.

Thank you Shark, it means a lot to me. Really. I can't really reply to this right now, or I might drag myself back into the darkness. But I think I just needed to get things off my mind last night, talk to people, and take a breather for once.

But sincerely, thank you.

 

[smiley8022]

ICT: I can't only arch a single brow... I can only arch both. So when I'm on Lit, I arch a brow quite a lot...

 

[smiley8022]

ICT:

I know that I'm not supposed to be here, that I told you specifically that I wouldn't be here, but it's almost as if I can't stay away.. When I'm writing, it's another world to escape into for me.. It's magical.

And I'm not going to post this for you sympathy, I don't want pm's filled with worry or concern either, I just need to get this off of my chest, and I didn't know where else to turn to.

It's just that here lately, I don't even see my purpose of living any more.. I'm not suicidal or anything, I'd probably be too much of a pansy to even consider suicide, but I just feel worthless here lately. It's the lowest I've been in my entire life, the most depressed I have ever been. I don't quite know what to do with my life or anything, and I just need to get this off of my chest so I can back to sulking/figuring out who I am, and what I'm doing here.

Until that point, don't expect to see me around here a lot, and please don't think that I'm ignoring you/ditching you. I'm not... I'm just going through a lot right now and I'm mentally incapable of dedicating myself to writing. Writing truly does help me, soothes me, helps me feel better about myself, but at the moment, it's not my main priority.

I apologize. For everything.

-A Sad Smiley.

 

[DarkWarrioress]

ICT:

I know that I'm not supposed to be here, that I told you specifically that I wouldn't be here, but it's almost as if I can't stay away.. When I'm writing, it's another world to escape into for me.. It's magical.

And I'm not going to post this for you sympathy, I don't want pm's filled with worry or concern either, I just need to get this off of my chest, and I didn't know where else to turn to.

It's just that here lately, I don't even see my purpose of living any more.. I'm not suicidal or anything, I'd probably be too much of a pansy to even consider suicide, but I just feel worthless here lately. It's the lowest I've been in my entire life, the most depressed I have ever been. I don't quite know what to do with my life or anything, and I just need to get this off of my chest so I can back to sulking/figuring out who I am, and what I'm doing here.

Until that point, don't expect to see me around here a lot, and please don't think that I'm ignoring you/ditching you. I'm not... I'm just going through a lot right now and I'm mentally incapable of dedicating myself to writing. Writing truly does help me, soothes me, helps me feel better about myself, but at the moment, it's not my main priority.

I apologize. For everything.

-A Sad Smiley.

I know you feel you have to apologize, especially to your co-writers, smiley. But I'm very sure they understand you have to do what you need to. Everyone at some point needs to find themselves. Ask questions about themselves. Why am I here? What purpose do I have? Don't be surprised if the answers don't come soon. Maybe even a year from now or longer, sometimes until we're standing on that bridge we all must cross alone. We never have the answers we seek. But they will come. Sometime. Until you feel better and feel like you can return and take up your writing again, I wish you well. I hope some answers come swiftly for you so you find a measure of peace and can truly smile again. Take Care of yourself, smiley.

 

[BindnCufTite]

ICT:

I know that I'm not supposed to be here, that I told you specifically that I wouldn't be here, but it's almost as if I can't stay away.. When I'm writing, it's another world to escape into for me.. It's magical.

And I'm not going to post this for you sympathy, I don't want pm's filled with worry or concern either, I just need to get this off of my chest, and I didn't know where else to turn to.

It's just that here lately, I don't even see my purpose of living any more.. I'm not suicidal or anything, I'd probably be too much of a pansy to even consider suicide, but I just feel worthless here lately. It's the lowest I've been in my entire life, the most depressed I have ever been. I don't quite know what to do with my life or anything, and I just need to get this off of my chest so I can back to sulking/figuring out who I am, and what I'm doing here.

Until that point, don't expect to see me around here a lot, and please don't think that I'm ignoring you/ditching you. I'm not... I'm just going through a lot right now and I'm mentally incapable of dedicating myself to writing. Writing truly does help me, soothes me, helps me feel better about myself, but at the moment, it's not my main priority.

I apologize. For everything.

-A Sad Smiley.

There are plenty ofd shoulders out here for you to lean on should you need to. There are plenty of people willing to lend an ear or read a line or more. Never feel isolated, you will never be completely alone. Often there is pleasure in discovery and the journey can be extremely motivational.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

ICT

I just ate a pancake (one) for dinner...covered with peanut butter and syrup. It was amazing.

*happy sigh*

 

[ilikeitlikethat18]

ICT

I just ate a pancake (one) for dinner...covered with peanut butter and syrup. It was amazing.

*happy sigh*

I wanna eat YOU covered in peanut butter and maple syrup.
*lick*