The Doctor's Office

[the_mgp]

*************

 

[Homburg]

Not to mention that if that happens, one day somebody bigger and badder than him is going to see. And possibly intervene. Boy, it'll be fun to be lain up in a hospital bed explaining to the cops that you got your ass whipped by a big ol' country boy who saw you smacking some chick around.

Don't expect any sympathy from anyone in that case.

I'm not a big ol' country boy, but I am descended from that stock. And I haven't quite had to hand out an ass-beating, but I have intervened a few times now. (Working club security intervention is part of the job duties, but I've done it recreationally as well)

The nice thing about this sort of behaviour is that it tends to get corrected in the manner you mentioned, BB. There are enough big ol' country boys in the world that odds aren't bad of finding one around when you need one.

 

[intothewoods]

I've seen a woman being beaten up in the street in broad daylight by a bloke and intervened. It might have been consensual but it might not yanno?
I know at the end of the day it wasn't my business, plus it was pretty stupid....he was a big angry bloke lol, but I'm not just gonna stand there and say or do nothing.
If I saw it again I would call the police.

Yup.

I was pissed off when I wrote my last post. I mean, I don't run around with 9-1-1 on direct dial looking for people to turn in or anything. I think the idea that someone involved in bdsm, who knows that he could take steps to keep it behind closed doors, feels so little respect for personal privacy and other people that he'd whack someone around regardless of who is there and where he is, really chapped my hide. And that's not just YC. There are plenty of kinky people who do it and don't give a rat's ass, and it's a touchy issue for me. I'm a fan of personal boundaries.

I just got back from the docs, about a lump behind my ear. He asked me if I have rough sex.
I just said ''only if I'm really lucky''

That was the end of that lol

Ba dum dum! Hystical!

I'm not a big ol' country boy, but I am descended from that stock. And I haven't quite had to hand out an ass-beating, but I have intervened a few times now. (Working club security intervention is part of the job duties, but I've done it recreationally as well)

The nice thing about this sort of behaviour is that it tends to get corrected in the manner you mentioned, BB. There are enough big ol' country boys in the world that odds aren't bad of finding one around when you need one.

Am I the only one hearing the theme from Deliverance in their head?

 

[subbie_333]

Am I the only one hearing the theme from Deliverance in their head?

OK, i have lived in the SE US long enough to say this: DELIVERANCE IS NOT FICTION

 

[intothewoods]

OK, i have lived in the SE US long enough to say this: DELIVERANCE IS NOT FICTION

There's a reason I stay up north. That and I'm apparently one of the few women who isn't into being called honey, darling or sugar by men I'm not fucking.

 

[Homburg]

Am I the only one hearing the theme from Deliverance in their head?

Darlin, "Deliverance" is the deep south. In my family's neck of the woods we prefer our violence without non-consensual man-on-man lovins.

There's a reason I stay up north. That and I'm apparently one of the few women who isn't into being called honey, darling or sugar by men I'm not fucking.

 

[intothewoods]

Darlin, "Deliverance" is the deep south. In my family's neck of the woods we prefer our violence without non-consensual man-on-man lovins.

Sorry, I'm all old school feminist bitch on that one. But don't worry, JM , I totally let men open doors for me and order for me.

I'm an enigma, wrapped inside a... oh, crap, what was that line?

Oh and seriously, as soon as I exit the beltway I start to get nervous. But then there are all those Korean BBQ restaurants to make me feel better. Anyhoo, and apparently y'all have fire ants. *shudder*

 

[Homburg]

Sorry, I'm all old school feminist bitch on that one. But don't worry, JM , I totally let men open doors for me and order for me.

I'm an enigma, wrapped inside a... oh, crap, what was that line?

I don't want an enigma wrapped in crap. That sounds... messy.

Oh and seriously, as soon as I exit the beltway I start to get nervous. But then there are all those Korean BBQ restaurants to make me feel better. Anyhoo, and apparently y'all have fire ants. *shudder*

Nope, no fire ants around here. And we have a couple of really killer Korean restaurants. Two in particular stand out. One is a nice sit-down place with an extensive menu, and the other is more of a casual lunch type place. I dig the lunch place more, as the people are friendly and the food is fantastic, but the sit-down place has such a great ambiance. We've also got some killer Japanese food. I just wish we had Chinese that was up to par, and not incredibly Americanised.

And we have exactly one Italian restaurant that is worth a crap in the whole area. Sure, there are really expensive places that are okay, but I can spend that kind of money in other restaurants locally and be blown away (such as this Brazilian place I know, and this great little tapas bar). I don't know why there aren't any worthwhile pizzerias or small Italian bistros in the area. Pisses me off. Still, we got some Korean food.

Oddly enough, I get nervous inside the beltway, but only because the roads make no frikken sense to me. It's almost as bad as being on Long Island in NY. What the fuck were the grid designers smoking?

 

[intothewoods]

I don't want an enigma wrapped in crap. That sounds... messy.

You're so judgmental.

Nope, no fire ants around here. And we have a couple of really killer Korean restaurants. Two in particular stand out. One is a nice sit-down place with an extensive menu, and the other is more of a casual lunch type place. I dig the lunch place more, as the people are friendly and the food is fantastic, but the sit-down place has such a great ambiance. We've also got some killer Japanese food. I just wish we had Chinese that was up to par, and not incredibly Americanised.

And we have exactly one Italian restaurant that is worth a crap in the whole area. Sure, there are really expensive places that are okay, but I can spend that kind of money in other restaurants locally and be blown away (such as this Brazilian place I know, and this great little tapas bar). I don't know why there aren't any worthwhile pizzerias or small Italian bistros in the area. Pisses me off. Still, we got some Korean food.

Lol. I'm not actually that into Korean food. I just meant that, um, oh okay - I'll explain. I've had some bad experiences with rednecks and my Jewey self, so I tend to get a little nervous once I leave the city. The joke about Korean restaurants is that you leave the beltway and you think to yourself, oh shit, here we go, we're totally in the country now! Where is, like, Jim bob or whatever other stupid stereotypical thoughts I have. And then you pass a Korean church and it's like, oh, ha ha, we're not really there yet.

Oddly enough, I get nervous inside the beltway, but only because the roads make no frikken sense to me. It's almost as bad as being on Long Island in NY. What the fuck were the grid designers smoking?

Scary thing is I'm actually pretty good at it. Must be my French heritage.

 

[ownedsubgal]

Understand what? That you don't give a shit about anyone's personal boundaries but your own? Just because it makes you hot means everyone else needs to know?

If you can't tell the difference between taking your dick out for the doctor and taking your dick out and swinging it around in public because it turns you on, I'm not sure anything I say is going to matter.

Hitting your children, kicking your dog, and bitchslapping your spouse in public make you equally as asshole. It's like someone insisting no one's watching if you take a shit alongside the road.

i think YC is getting it a bit harsh here. not all of us feel that some of the nastier realities of our relationship dynamics are vile and sinister things that need to be kept behind closed doors and blacked out windows at night with the radio turned up. sometimes there are some things that need to be dealt with right then and there, otherwise they could prove corrosive.

let's say that Daddy and i are out and about, maybe sightseeing or shopping or whatever, primarily just enjoying each other's company. then i make some minor slip-up...maybe i talk back, or walk ahead of him, or what have you. of course, Daddy will instantly make me aware of my mistake and his displeasure. if that were not followed up immediately by some physical reprimand, if instead he did some "wait til we get home" look, then that would completely flock up the rest of our day. there would be no more fun, no more special Daddy/daughter lovey-dovey time, things would be tense and uncomfortable and gloomy until the matter was dealt with. so instead, he'll pull me into a bathroom or yank me around a corner, slap the snot outta me or give me one to the gut, i apologize, and then we go on about our day in harmony. that's what works best for us, and helps to keep things running smoothly, and i fail to see the monumental objections some have to this sort of thing.

physical discipline in public does not have to equate to stomping down your woman in the middle of main street. you don't have to be in anyone's face, you can certainly be quick and subtle about it. and imo it certainly beats the alternative, which would be creating an environment of frustration and disappointment, tension and fear, all for some minor hiccup. now a major transgression is another matter of course.

 

[Netzach]

i think YC is getting it a bit harsh here. not all of us feel that some of the nastier realities of our relationship dynamics are vile and sinister things that need to be kept behind closed doors and blacked out windows at night with the radio turned up. sometimes there are some things that need to be dealt with right then and there, otherwise they could prove corrosive.

let's say that Daddy and i are out and about, maybe sightseeing or shopping or whatever, primarily just enjoying each other's company. then i make some minor slip-up...maybe i talk back, or walk ahead of him, or what have you. of course, Daddy will instantly make me aware of my mistake and his displeasure. if that were not followed up immediately by some physical reprimand, if instead he did some "wait til we get home" look, then that would completely flock up the rest of our day. there would be no more fun, no more special Daddy/daughter lovey-dovey time, things would be tense and uncomfortable and gloomy until the matter was dealt with. so instead, he'll pull me into a bathroom or yank me around a corner, slap the snot outta me or give me one to the gut, i apologize, and then we go on about our day in harmony. that's what works best for us, and helps to keep things running smoothly, and i fail to see the monumental objections some have to this sort of thing.

physical discipline in public does not have to equate to stomping down your woman in the middle of main street. you don't have to be in anyone's face, you can certainly be quick and subtle about it. and imo it certainly beats the alternative, which would be creating an environment of frustration and disappointment, tension and fear, all for some minor hiccup. now a major transgression is another matter of course.

If you're being subtle about it, you won't have the problem of being spotted and having to explain. The fact that your D has figured out how to do it without being spotted means that on some level, he gives a shit about other people's comfort levels, if nothing else to preserve the relationship (by not getting arrested or called out, which would be a pain in the ass for all involved) I'm sure you've gotten the tug on the arm or the "police march" pinch on the neck when it's not at all feasible to just crack you one on the face. "What am I going to do when spotted" has probably taken up a lot less of his mental energy than "how and what can I do without causing problems which outweigh the benefit of immediate discipline and where and where not?"

I'm assuming if you guys have been spotted it's been extremely rare and by people who don't care. Dumb luck, really. But probably not dumb at all if it's consistent. Your Daddy sounds like someone very attuned to the ways of people and very emotionally savvy.

People DO call 911. And should. I've done it watching gay guys pounding on one another and screaming fighting in the street. There is NO reason NONE in the world that I would and should assume that a person being hit out in the street by another person has consented to it. If they have, and I see them, the consequences are deserved. There's no "misunderstanding" once you take your SM out into the street, it IS what it looks like. Whether you like that or not, that's how it is.

At your own risk. There's no explaining "but she loves it" when the wrong people spot you. That's just the breaks.

The vast minority of people being beaten by those they love are into it or on board with it. And there's a huge difference.

I'm going with those stats on any given day. If you expect the rest of the world to recognize what's essentially an invisible mental agreement between two people in an intimate relationship, you are looking for problems.

On another level? It's basically a "why can't we fuck in the street?" kind of argument. It's not because you're special in how you fuck, it's because fucking in the street is lame for other people. I don't want to watch, thanks. You can insist it's not sexual all you want, you can insist that discipline like that is pure and wholesome and righteous. For YOU. I have a right not to be confronted with your intimate life when I'm buying cereal at Target.

 

[ataxia.girl]

let's say that Daddy and i are out and about, maybe sightseeing or shopping or whatever, primarily just enjoying each other's company. then i make some minor slip-up...maybe i talk back, or walk ahead of him, or what have you. of course, Daddy will instantly make me aware of my mistake and his displeasure. if that were not followed up immediately by some physical reprimand, if instead he did some "wait til we get home" look, then that would completely flock up the rest of our day. there would be no more fun, no more special Daddy/daughter lovey-dovey time, things would be tense and uncomfortable and gloomy until the matter was dealt with. so instead, he'll pull me into a bathroom or yank me around a corner, slap the snot outta me or give me one to the gut, i apologize, and then we go on about our day in harmony.

Um, i just went all gooey. The whole "in public" thing is sort of immaterial to me since i wouldn't belong to an idiot who would do soemthing stupid to get himself in trouble so no need to second guess him. i absolutely would admire someone who was able to take care of it subtly right then and there. The immediacy is appealingly uncomplicated.

 

[Netzach]

I'm just sick to fuck of people who are seriously concerned about abuse and stopping it, being painted as these total vanilla killjoy obstacles to how we want to be and what we're about. It's GOOD that MD's report and are urged to look for it. It's an awkward moment of explanation and a lot of them know that some people have rough sex and when NOT to be concerned. Some sex is rough enough that you'll want to cancel your appt and the onus is on YOU to be smart.

I don't think that my incompatibility with crimes and political torture make me any less of a Dominant or any weaker in my support of people who do D/s or even M/s.

 

[Homburg]

You're so judgmental.

Totally. *sneer*

Lol. I'm not actually that into Korean food. I just meant that, um, oh okay - I'll explain. I've had some bad experiences with rednecks and my Jewey self, so I tend to get a little nervous once I leave the city. The joke about Korean restaurants is that you leave the beltway and you think to yourself, oh shit, here we go, we're totally in the country now! Where is, like, Jim bob or whatever other stupid stereotypical thoughts I have. And then you pass a Korean church and it's like, oh, ha ha, we're not really there yet.

Jews are rare enough down here as to be off the redneck radar. Then again, rednecks are pretty rare around here too. I live in a touristy beach area. Sure, you can drive an hour and find rednecks, but you can say that about virtually any area in the country.

Scary thing is I'm actually pretty good at it. Must be my French heritage.

Makes. No. Sense.

"Oh, you want X St NE. You're on X St NW. Take this road, then right on this one, then go eight blocks, and you'll be on the right road."

I'm sitting there looking at the guy and trying to understand in what world the idea that I would need to do all that to get to the same fucking road I'm on is normal.

 

[Homburg]

I'm just sick to fuck of people who are seriously concerned about abuse and stopping it, being painted as these total vanilla killjoy obstacles to how we want to be and what we're about. It's GOOD that MD's report and are urged to look for it. It's an awkward moment of explanation and a lot of them know that some people have rough sex and when NOT to be concerned. Some sex is rough enough that you'll want to cancel your appt and the onus is on YOU to be smart.

I don't think that my incompatibility with crimes and political torture make me any less of a Dominant or any weaker in my support of people who do D/s or even M/s.

You've obviously not left consensual reality behind. I'm sure there must be some way to fix that.



I'm so much of a killjoy that I've said the words, "This isn't BDSM. This is abuse," to someone. I know, I know, I really am a totally judgemental vanilla fuckwit.

 

[Netzach]

Oddly enough, I get nervous inside the beltway, but only because the roads make no frikken sense to me. It's almost as bad as being on Long Island in NY. What the fuck were the grid designers smoking?

And it doesn't help that it's the worst driving I've ever seen anywhere, ever.

 

[intothewoods]

I'm just sick to fuck of people who are seriously concerned about abuse and stopping it, being painted as these total vanilla killjoy obstacles to how we want to be and what we're about. It's GOOD that MD's report and are urged to look for it. It's an awkward moment of explanation and a lot of them know that some people have rough sex and when NOT to be concerned. Some sex is rough enough that you'll want to cancel your appt and the onus is on YOU to be smart.

I don't think that my incompatibility with crimes and political torture make me any less of a Dominant or any weaker in my support of people who do D/s or even M/s.

Brilliant as usual.

Totally. *sneer*



Jews are rare enough down here as to be off the redneck radar. Then again, rednecks are pretty rare around here too. I live in a touristy beach area. Sure, you can drive an hour and find rednecks, but you can say that about virtually any area in the country.

Beach area = no fire ants, I think. Anyhoo. You had me at "Jews are rare enough down here..." That plus paranoid hatred of the government and the "liberal elite" always equals super fun times. Oh, the memories.

Makes. No. Sense.

"Oh, you want X St NE. You're on X St NW. Take this road, then right on this one, then go eight blocks, and you'll be on the right road."

I'm sitting there looking at the guy and trying to understand in what world the idea that I would need to do all that to get to the same fucking road I'm on is normal.

It's those pesky circles, diagonals and government buildings, but there is a certain joy to be had in discovering the workaround.

 

[Homburg]

And it doesn't help that it's the worst driving I've ever seen anywhere, ever.

No kidding. My passengers know to not pay too much attention when I drive there, because full-on hostile survival-driving is the only way to get around.

 

[intothewoods]

And it doesn't help that it's the worst driving I've ever seen anywhere, ever.

THOSE are tourists or suburbanites. Okay, also cab drivers.

 

[Homburg]

Beach area = no fire ants, I think.

All I know is that I avoid them. When I can't, I take a scorched earth policy. Literally. Hairspray + fire = dead ants. Those bastards are too vicious and scary to allow for margin of error.

Anyhoo. You had me at "Jews are rare enough down here..." That plus paranoid hatred of the government and the "liberal elite" always equals super fun times. Oh, the memories.

There has been a softening of that as late. It helps that the "conservative elite" have been such aggregious fuck-ups of late.

It's those pesky circles, diagonals and government buildings, but there is a certain joy to be had in discovering the workaround.

You really are a perverse masochist.

 

[Netzach]

Make no mistake, I also play the edge of exposure. I have done a lot of public. I am anything but a "must pull the shades and crank the radio" person.

The difference is that I have never gone into it thinking "how will I do something so massively offensive that I'll have to explain myself and then explain" but "how can I frame this in such a way that no one would think it was a sex trip, no one will feel violated, and it could be passed off as a joke convincingly?"

Admittedly, when you are F/m you have a LOT more leeway than any other combo, really. But everyone is charged with the responsibility to not frighten the horses. Confuse them, maybe.

 

[ataxia.girl]

I'm just sick to fuck of people who are seriously concerned about abuse and stopping it, being painted as these total vanilla killjoy obstacles to how we want to be and what we're about. It's GOOD that MD's report and are urged to look for it. It's an awkward moment of explanation and a lot of them know that some people have rough sex and when NOT to be concerned. Some sex is rough enough that you'll want to cancel your appt and the onus is on YOU to be smart.

i'm curious if anyone has any examples of MD's reporting abuse that was explained to them as consensual "rough sex" or the like (sorry if an example was already given). my MD was totally cool with it, no big deal, and i had quite a lot of bruising. Are there really a lot of examples of people being truly hampered by do gooders?

i mean i don't spank my children in the middle of a store either, not because i'm afraid of being reported but because i think its tacky. i have been known to grip their arm a little too tightly and march everyone back to the car for a little talk though. Sometimes we all get to go back into the store smiling and sometimes we go home.

 

[Netzach]

i'm curious if anyone has any examples of MD's reporting abuse that was explained to them as consensual "rough sex" or the like (sorry if an example was already given). my MD was totally cool with it, no big deal, and i had quite a lot of bruising. Are there really a lot of examples of people being truly hampered by do gooders?

i mean i don't spank my children in the middle of a store either, not because i'm afraid of being reported but because i think its tacky. i have been known to grip their arm a little too tightly and march everyone back to the car for a little talk though. Sometimes we all get to go back into the store smiling and sometimes we go home.

I'm sure it CAN happen, that no matter what you say the MD takes this savior approach and you are totally fucked by it. So you have to be careful and thoughtful and really sniff out things well, as well as you can. (Which is why PLAY is a good word, IMO)

I heart you. Because I agree, it's not that I'm completely horrified by any spanking of children, it's because I don't want to watch that go down, and I remember too well how my mom aligned pain with then-and-there humiliation and no adults said jack shit to the woman dragging her daughter by the hair. Lovely world.

 

[rosco rathbone]

My ex-gf's doctor told her "look, we know someone is beating the crap out of you" and tried to get her to file a report, but she refused and they didn't push it.

 

[Netzach]

My ex-gf's doctor told her "look, we know someone is beating the crap out of you" and tried to get her to file a report, but she refused and they didn't push it.

Crappy, but expectable.

Really, one of the few RULES I have is to sit with the calendar and med appointments and x out some days. Like guys who are really anti period sex or something.