The Doom Advice on Subtitles

[Britva415]

There are sophisticated women who want to be fucked hard by two cocks.

They weren't saying the characters were unsophisticated. They were saying the tagline was. And I agree - it's straightforward, un-obscure, blunt, plain language, nothing implied, nothing to infer, no metrical or rhyme tricks, no alliteration, etc etc etc. Just a prosaic statement in perfectly plain language.

 

[ElectricBlue]

I'm not sure if I accept the implied dichotomy here. There are sophisticated women who want to be fucked hard by two cocks. Sophistication can be an aspect of erotica, but it doesn't necessarily enhance it.

That's true. But I know a stroker when I write one (much to @AG31's horror) .

 

[SimonDoom]

They weren't saying the characters were unsophisticated. They were saying the tagline was. And I agree - it's straightforward, un-obscure, blunt, plain language, nothing implied, nothing to infer, no metrical or rhyme tricks, no alliteration, etc etc etc. Just a prosaic statement in perfectly plain language.

A fair point.

 

[anthrodisiac]

The third chapter of my latest piece, with the boring as fuck subtitle "Adam Takes K and Frankie back to his Apartment" - which, for readers following the story, makes sense:
Score = 4.33/15, with 1340 views.

Chapter Four, on the other hand: subtitle = "Two Cocks are Better Than One"
Score = 4.67/12, with 1630 views.

I think there's something else going on, in addition to what's been said:

1. You mention character names with very little additional information.
2. You do not mention character names while also telling the reader that there will likely be two cocks, most likely on two separate people.

Neither says anything about the quality of the story themselves, but it's about the reader expctations going in.

The first subtitle implies that you need to know what's happening to understand the goings-on, and that it is probably going to be more narrative- than smut-driven. You'll probably get a lot of, "But I don't know who Adam, K, or Frankie are." For someone who hasn't read the first couple chapters, that means if they're interested, they'll likely go to the first two chapters before reading this, and if it's not something they like they won't bother to come back. Or they will, but it'll take longer for them to get back to it, either taking that view off the board entirely or delaying it until they finish the first two chapters.

The second implies it's a straight-up fuck scene and you don't necessarily need to know the backstory or much else to get off on it. That provides a greater incentive for someone to dive in partway through a series if the chapter seems like it's primarily a stroker and they can ignore the story and characters and just read the fucking, if all they're looking for is to get off.

 

[ElectricBlue]

I think there's something else going on, in addition to what's been said:

1. You mention character names with very little additional information.
2. You do not mention character names while also telling the reader that there will likely be two cocks, most likely on two separate people.

Neither says anything about the quality of the story themselves, but it's about the reader expctations going in.

The first subtitle implies that you need to know what's happening to understand the goings-on, and that it is probably going to be more narrative- than smut-driven. You'll probably get a lot of, "But I don't know who Adam, K, or Frankie are." For someone who hasn't read the first couple chapters, that means if they're interested, they'll likely go to the first two chapters before reading this, and if it's not something they like they won't bother to come back. Or they will, but it'll take longer for them to get back to it, either taking that view off the board entirely or delaying it until they finish the first two chapters.

The second implies it's a straight-up fuck scene and you don't necessarily need to know the backstory or much else to get off on it. That provides a greater incentive for someone to dive in partway through a series if the chapter seems like it's primarily a stroker and they can ignore the story and characters and just read the fucking, if all they're looking for is to get off.

You're over-engineering what's going on.

I know the subtitle for Ch.3 was rubbish, but it's Ch.3 and I expected the drop off in views, so the subtitle doesn't really matter. Ch.3 is usually, "Yep, I'm following your story, I know the characters, it all makes sense, I'll follow this story to the end. Wait, what, there's a sub-title? Paid no attention to that."

But Ch.4 has the purest porn-meister subtitle you could ever imagine, and in Transgender, you don't need to be a biological scientist to figure out the arrangement of cocks.

The tacky subtitle has brought in porn readers in a disproportionate amount, which for me demonstrates there's a whole bunch of readers who don't really give a toss about the story, they'll just read any chapter for the sex.

Which is a bit disappointing for everyone who says, "But my story is so important, surely blah blah blah..." Me, I'm an old cynic who full well knows when what's left of story has gone by the wayside, and the sex is what's selling.

Which is @SimonDoom's point about subtitles, right from the beginning.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Now there's a 30% differential in the view counts between chapter 3 and chapter 4, and a correspondingly higher vote counts/score. Now I really am intrigued, watching this.

Note to self - use porno sub-titles in future.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Now there's a 30% differential in the view counts between chapter 3 and chapter 4, and a correspondingly higher vote counts/score. Now I really am intrigued, watching this.

Note to self - use porno sub-titles in future.

24 hours later, chapter 4 has 50% more views than chapter 3. The @SimonDoom guidance works, but clearly readers don't give a rat's about the rest of the story.