The "Fuck you cancer!" thread

[Collar_N_Cuffs]

<snip>

I learned from then on that each day is a gift, no matter how crappy it is.

Amen to that, and we shouldn't have to go through an ordeal to recognize that Thank you for the inspiration!

 

[GoAztecs]

Amen to that, and we shouldn't have to go through an ordeal to recognize that Thank you for the inspiration!

Agreed

 

[mutato]

Amen to that, and we shouldn't have to go through an ordeal to recognize that Thank you for the inspiration!

You're very welcome! I'm happy to share.

 

[Apple_of_Eden]

I hate cancer more each day I breathe!

I hate cancer more each day I breathe!

I have worked in healthcare all of my life. I have seen literally thousands of people live with and die from certain types of cancer. I have watched, cared for, and aided in life and death thousands of people, who on one level were strangers to me, and yet on another level, I was part of their family for a time.

However, cancer has really taken a toll in my life over the last few years. My beloved father and the best man I have ever known was diagnosed with prostate cancer. It was under control for a few years, but he later ended up with bone mets. To watch one of the strongest, most loving, outgoing men you know, become homebound and later bed bound is heartbreaking.

Next month will be the anniversary of his death. It is beyond my belief that it has been eight years without him. Maybe because he is so much a part of my heart and my memories. He is missed daily.

My brother's girlfriend, basically a SIL, was taken by stage four breast cancer a year after my father. She was diagnosed a few years before my Dad, but she outlived him by a year. If you can count endless treatments of chemo, sweats, chills, vomiting, weakness, loss of hair, loss of appetite, loss of will power, loss of just about everything that is worth living for a life.

The woman who had tons of energy could barely sit up before she died. The woman who looked twenty-five instead of forty-five died looking much older than she was. The woman who always had a smile on her face, almost until the very end, couldn't even open her eyes the last few days.

If cancer hadn't taken enough from us, it came back shortly thereafter, to take claim on my loving and fun loving brother. Now, instead of enjoying time together hanging out and rough housing, instead of teasing and poking fun at each other, instead of sharing jokes and fun stories.....I get to take him to doctor's appointments, remind him of his test schedules, call him when his prescriptions are due and take him for his chemo shots and scans.

If that wasn't the icing on the cake, cancer needed to show us just how fucked up it could be. The treatments my brother has include multiple scans with radiation dyes being injected into him. We believe, because of all of the radiation from the scans, tests, and dyes, cancer was able to give him a one-two punch. He developed a rare form of leukemia secondary to his treatments. Yeah!!! Two forms of rare cancer!!! Isn't he special???

I've watched a happy, go lucky, 210 pound man who was always the life of the party or the guy to be around, turn into a 170 pound shadow of himself. When the rare smile crosses his face, it never reaches his eyes anymore. When he talks, it's rarely about fun things or humorous anecdotes. It is often about how much pain he is in or how much he misses his former life.(never complaining, he's just stating fact and only to those very close to him) Yet, through all of that, he still puts on a "good front" and makes others (not so close to him) think everything is fine.

So, for all of you, for all of your family and friends, for my family and friends, and for those all around us who we don't know suffer every day....a big, huge, larger than life FUCK YOU CANCER...from me!

Thanks for letting me vent!
Oh, and I will add a big FUCK YOU CANCER for a friend of mine whose wife died from bone mets after being diagnosed with stage four breast cancer. That last "Fuck you" was from gb....

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

Thank you for sharing your experiences and your anger, Apple. I'm sorry that cellfucker has taken up residence so often on the front lawn of your life.

Your rants are always welcome, as is anything else you want to share; you have a unique perspective through your health care work.

God bless your brother.

And FYC.

 

[GoAztecs]

I find it interesting at the cancer center how some people feel as if they are privileged. Sorry to let you know, we are on the same boat, fighting this disease and you don't get to hand pick which staff member assists you

 

[Apple_of_Eden]

Thank you for sharing your experiences and your anger, Apple. I'm sorry that cellfucker has taken up residence so often on the front lawn of your life.

Your rants are always welcome, as is anything else you want to share; you have a unique perspective through your health care work.

God bless your brother.

And FYC.

Thanks DeepGreenEyes, Sorry I went on so long. I didn't realize how much I had said until I saw it on the post.

If the little shit would only stay still on the front lawn, I'd cut its head off with the weed wacker!!! But, as you know, the little shit is fast and mobile!

p.s. Thanks for initiating this thread. It was a great idea and it gives people a place to share a little more than the obvious sharing that goes on around the wonderful world of Lit!! Although, I still see a lot of "fucking" going on around here too!.....see, I still have a sense of humor! Thank God!

 

[IrisAlthea]

I find it interesting at the cancer center how some people feel as if they are privileged. Sorry to let you know, we are on the same boat, fighting this disease and you don't get to hand pick which staff member assists you

People are the same, wherever you go.

 

[Apple_of_Eden]

I find it interesting at the cancer center how some people feel as if they are privileged. Sorry to let you know, we are on the same boat, fighting this disease and you don't get to hand pick which staff member assists you

My Dear GoAztecs,
I know and understand what you are saying, and I know how frustrating it can be. But, from the perspective of a protective sister and healthcare person, I know and see who is not only "technically skilled," but "compassionate and caring." So, when it comes to my brother, I do everything possible to make sure he gets the person I think is the best.

It sucks being sick, it sucks having to go through the tests, treatments, and all the other bull that goes with the disease, but if I can give him a little more TLC by making sure he gets the nurse who is technically skilled, won't increase his chance for infection, will stick him once instead of twice, and will smile and be kind while doing it....trust me, I will. Even at the cost of the person to my right.

Sorry, that's just how I feel. However, if you need me to do the same, just let me know. I'm rather formidable when goal driven.

I hope all works to your favor both in the clinics and with your illness/disease process. I'll add you to my prayers. I hope that's ok with you.

 

[GoAztecs]

My Dear GoAztecs,
I know and understand what you are saying, and I know how frustrating it can be. But, from the perspective of a protective sister and healthcare person, I know and see who is not only "technically skilled," but "compassionate and caring." So, when it comes to my brother, I do everything possible to make sure he gets the person I think is the best.

It sucks being sick, it sucks having to go through the tests, treatments, and all the other bull that goes with the disease, but if I can give him a little more TLC by making sure he gets the nurse who is technically skilled, won't increase his chance for infection, will stick him once instead of twice, and will smile and be kind while doing it....trust me, I will. Even at the cost of the person to my right.

Sorry, that's just how I feel. However, if you need me to do the same, just let me know. I'm rather formidable when goal driven.

I hope all works to your favor both in the clinics and with your illness/disease process. I'll add you to my prayers. I hope that's ok with you.

Thank you for your thoughts

 

[scotluvsoral]

Thank you for sharing your experiences and your anger, Apple. I'm sorry that cellfucker has taken up residence so often on the front lawn of your life.

Your rants are always welcome, as is anything else you want to share; you have a unique perspective through your health care work.

God bless your brother.

And FYC.

I love this ranting thread...never knew it was around! I fucking hate cancer...been cancer free now 9 years! Fuck you cancer! Sister has been cancer free 10 years now! Fuck you cancer! Lost so many friends, a father in law, a grandfather and grandmother to this cellsucker. Fuck you cancer! Thank you all for sharing the journey and the pain and the loss and the successes!!!! And the hope for better ends!

 

[desertslave]

Today marks a year since my Mom succumbed to esophageal cancer. FUCK YOU CANCER! AND FUCK YOU DEMENTIA while I'm at it. The one blessing, towards the end, was that she was so confused that she didn't remember she was sick most of the time. She was back in time, somewhere better and more fun. I've never laughed through tears so much before, and doubt I will again.

Now, I just wish the lawyers and the bankers would settle down and come to some sort of decision. As long as this stupid limbo continues I can't let go of my anger and frustration the way I long to do. I hope by next year I can just love her and miss her and leave it at that.

 

[Apple_of_Eden]

Today marks a year since my Mom succumbed to esophageal cancer. FUCK YOU CANCER! AND FUCK YOU DEMENTIA while I'm at it. The one blessing, towards the end, was that she was so confused that she didn't remember she was sick most of the time. She was back in time, somewhere better and more fun. I've never laughed through tears so much before, and doubt I will again.

Now, I just wish the lawyers and the bankers would settle down and come to some sort of decision. As long as this stupid limbo continues I can't let go of my anger and frustration the way I long to do. I hope by next year I can just love her and miss her and leave it at that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wish you luck with the all "the other stuff" that you are dealing with right now desertslave. It's sometimes, more painful when "the end" comes and it really is only the beginning of the next dozen things you have to deal with because of a death. It's never easy, but when all is settled for you, I wish a little more peace of mind. With time will come the ability to remember and set free the joy of her life so that only the good times remain for you.

I truly believe when you lose someone to dementia, Alzheimer's, or any other mind debilitating disease process, it's much harder than losing the person all at once to death. Each day, it's like you lose them all over again and all of the little pieces falling away slowly, really take their toll. I wish you the best of peace and joy in your future.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

Thanks DeepGreenEyes, Sorry I went on so long. I didn't realize how much I had said until I saw it on the post.

If the little shit would only stay still on the front lawn, I'd cut its head off with the weed wacker!!! But, as you know, the little shit is fast and mobile!

p.s. Thanks for initiating this thread. It was a great idea and it gives people a place to share a little more than the obvious sharing that goes on around the wonderful world of Lit!! Although, I still see a lot of "fucking" going on around here too!.....see, I still have a sense of humor! Thank God!

The great thing about the Web: writing more won't kill trees. Luxuriate in the endless pixels, baby!

I started this thread because expressing anger somewhere - especially among a congregation of hate - is better than growing tumors by stressing alone.

I love this ranting thread...never knew it was around! I fucking hate cancer...been cancer free now 9 years! Fuck you cancer! Sister has been cancer free 10 years now! Fuck you cancer! Lost so many friends, a father in law, a grandfather and grandmother to this cellsucker. Fuck you cancer! Thank you all for sharing the journey and the pain and the loss and the successes!!!! And the hope for better ends! [/FONT

Welcome to the Church of Fuck You Cancer. You are always welcome. We never close. Participate in ritual rants and gratitude, too.

Nine years! Nine! FYC!

Today marks a year since my Mom succumbed to esophageal cancer. FUCK YOU CANCER! AND FUCK YOU DEMENTIA while I'm at it. The one blessing, towards the end, was that she was so confused that she didn't remember she was sick most of the time. She was back in time, somewhere better and more fun. I've never laughed through tears so much before, and doubt I will again.

Now, I just wish the lawyers and the bankers would settle down and come to some sort of decision. As long as this stupid limbo continues I can't let go of my anger and frustration the way I long to do. I hope by next year I can just love her and miss her and leave it at that.

FYC.

 

[Apple_of_Eden]

The great thing about the Web: writing more won't kill trees. Luxuriate in the endless pixels, baby!

I started this thread because expressing anger somewhere - especially among a congregation of hate - is better than growing tumors by stressing alone.


You are a good man and I believe have a good heart!
....and your bio page isn't bad either....(Humor with today's dose of reality!)

 

[scotluvsoral]

Today marks a year since my Mom succumbed to esophageal cancer. FUCK YOU CANCER! AND FUCK YOU DEMENTIA while I'm at it. The one blessing, towards the end, was that she was so confused that she didn't remember she was sick most of the time. She was back in time, somewhere better and more fun. I've never laughed through tears so much before, and doubt I will again.

Now, I just wish the lawyers and the bankers would settle down and come to some sort of decision. As long as this stupid limbo continues I can't let go of my anger and frustration the way I long to do. I hope by next year I can just love her and miss her and leave it at that.

My mom had dementia in the last year of her life....just a terrible theft from someone so unique and lovely and kind. Like cancer...it is just a thief. Fuck you Cancer and fuck you Dementia!!! Thoughts and prayers for you!

 

[scotluvsoral]

The great thing about the Web: writing more won't kill trees. Luxuriate in the endless pixels, baby!

I started this thread because expressing anger somewhere - especially among a congregation of hate - is better than growing tumors by stressing alone.



Welcome to the Church of Fuck You Cancer. You are always welcome. We never close. Participate in ritual rants and gratitude, too.

Nine years! Nine! FYC!





FYC.

Thanks for the welcome. Something safe about being among other cancer survivors, warriors and the people who we sometimes leave behind! FYC!!!!!

 

[midwestyankee]

Welcome to scotlovsoral and Apple of Eden and thanks for sharing your stories.

I will add that Alzheimer's is a truly challenging experience for everyone involved. My father, who is otherwise in fine health, has been living in a memory care home for a little over a year now. He still recognizes family most of the time, but his life is so much more limited than it ever was before. He had a quick mind and was full of curiosity. Now, he's a shell of that guy and it's very, very hard on everyone.

 

[SassySheDevil]

Next month will mark a year since I lost my Dad to Lung Cancer. 2 years prior, my Father in law to Colon Cancer. (also my mom 3 months after my father in law)

My Dad hit me the hardest as I have always been a Daddies girl and was with him every step of the way. From finding out he had Cancer, through Chemo and Radiation, and then watching the strongest man I ever knew dwindle down to this frail, weak man. For all my Short jokes (I am 4'11) my Dad was my safety. He was 6'3 and 250# when he was diagnosed. By the time he passed, he was 165# and he only fought his battle for 8 months.

That was the hardest thing I've ever had to watch, but what was even harder, was those last moments crawling up into his bed and lying to his face and telling him that I would be ok without him. That it was ok to go.

Not a day goes by that I don't miss him terribly and my sadness hasn't diminished even a little. But even as he passed he still had on the bracelet I had made for him. "Fuck Cancer! Kick its ass!"

 

[scotluvsoral]

Next month will mark a year since I lost my Dad to Lung Cancer. 2 years prior, my Father in law to Colon Cancer. (also my mom 3 months after my father in law)

My Dad hit me the hardest as I have always been a Daddies girl and was with him every step of the way. From finding out he had Cancer, through Chemo and Radiation, and then watching the strongest man I ever knew dwindle down to this frail, weak man. For all my Short jokes (I am 4'11) my Dad was my safety. He was 6'3 and 250# when he was diagnosed. By the time he passed, he was 165# and he only fought his battle for 8 months.

That was the hardest thing I've ever had to watch, but what was even harder, was those last moments crawling up into his bed and lying to his face and telling him that I would be ok without him. That it was ok to go.

Not a day goes by that I don't miss him terribly and my sadness hasn't diminished even a little. But even as he passed he still had on the bracelet I had made for him. "Fuck Cancer! Kick its ass!"

Sorry for your loss Sassy!!! Cancer sucks big time....hate, hate HATE it. Fuck you Cancer!!!

 

[GoAztecs]

Next month will mark a year since I lost my Dad to Lung Cancer. 2 years prior, my Father in law to Colon Cancer. (also my mom 3 months after my father in law)

My Dad hit me the hardest as I have always been a Daddies girl and was with him every step of the way. From finding out he had Cancer, through Chemo and Radiation, and then watching the strongest man I ever knew dwindle down to this frail, weak man. For all my Short jokes (I am 4'11) my Dad was my safety. He was 6'3 and 250# when he was diagnosed. By the time he passed, he was 165# and he only fought his battle for 8 months.

That was the hardest thing I've ever had to watch, but what was even harder, was those last moments crawling up into his bed and lying to his face and telling him that I would be ok without him. That it was ok to go.

Not a day goes by that I don't miss him terribly and my sadness hasn't diminished even a little. But even as he passed he still had on the bracelet I had made for him. "Fuck Cancer! Kick its ass!"

Sorry to hear of your loss

 

[desertslave]

Sassy, I share the pain of your loss. My Daddy has been gone for 20 years, and the hole is still in my heart. Hugs!

 

[midwestyankee]

Sassy, I'm glad you found us and could share your story. Cancer seems to hit every family these days, some harder than others. My first contact with cancer was when my young niece developed a brain tumor. It took away her vitality, her mind, and eventually her life before she was 13. It was a devastating loss for the whole family and was especially tough to see it ravage her little body. Then my father-in-law succumbed to mouth cancer barely a year later. In both cases, the pain that everyone else in the family suffered was nearly as difficult to endure as it was to lose them.

These days I spend a chunk of every week trying to make things easier for cancer survivors. It ain't easy.

 

[coacheric]

Next month will mark a year since I lost my Dad to Lung Cancer. 2 years prior, my Father in law to Colon Cancer. (also my mom 3 months after my father in law)

My Dad hit me the hardest as I have always been a Daddies girl and was with him every step of the way. From finding out he had Cancer, through Chemo and Radiation, and then watching the strongest man I ever knew dwindle down to this frail, weak man. For all my Short jokes (I am 4'11) my Dad was my safety. He was 6'3 and 250# when he was diagnosed. By the time he passed, he was 165# and he only fought his battle for 8 months.

That was the hardest thing I've ever had to watch, but what was even harder, was those last moments crawling up into his bed and lying to his face and telling him that I would be ok without him. That it was ok to go.

Not a day goes by that I don't miss him terribly and my sadness hasn't diminished even a little. But even as he passed he still had on the bracelet I had made for him. "Fuck Cancer! Kick its ass!"

(((SASSY)))

I lost my dad to COPD. Sat next to his bed right to the end. I cried watching the start of the Superbowl this year because we would have been on the phone on and off during the game bitching about stupid plays and all. And yet my wife asks why I don't play a square anymore.

 

[SassySheDevil]

Thank you everyone. Trying to fight the depression that came with 3 years of pain and loss is a challenge all on its own. Let alone trying to be strong for your family. My son is still fighting his own battle. He lost his best friend. Eric, what you said about football is my sons saddest moments too. My Dad watched every football game with my son. They went to a game before his diagnosis, card signing get together, and had planned to go to the super bowl together. But then my Dad found out about the cancer, so they couldn't. This year when the Seahawks made it to the super bowl again. I thought my son would never stop crying through that game. My own pain coupled with my sons, is a true test of strength. But it's not easy.