Magnetron
Deep Under Groundhog
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2014
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The Hobbit + LOTR fanwrites thread
- Thread starter Magnetron
- Start date
Magnetron
Deep Under Groundhog
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2014
- Posts
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As The Nazgul Raps
Witch KING?
This KING
One of the Nine
ServING the Dark Lord of BLING
R-I-N-G
That's spells RING
Listen up, Gollum
Let me TELL you someTHING
What is your WRATH
compared to the MIGHT of a WRAITH
who lives to CREEP in the DEAD of NIGHT?
Impaling hobbits in their SLEEP
Scar'em to death with FRIGHT
BREAK their FAITH
MAKE'em WEEP
while I TAKE deLIGHT
A wreath of iron THORNs
ADORNs me with a crown of DREAD
Just you try to pumPING me FULL of LEAD
Getcha sumTING AIGHT
A MORNing STAR upside the HEAD
Yeah, that's RIGHT
That's what I SAID,
beeYOTCH
yo-YO-yo-YO-yo
I'ma a NazGUL
Nasty ass FELLOW minus a SOUL
Like a bat outta HELL
Riding a FELL BIRD with a stinky CROTCH
so foul and SMELLY
Flying fast and furiousLY FAR
Straight outta AngMAR
Mister G
WORD
Witch KING?
This KING
One of the Nine
ServING the Dark Lord of BLING
R-I-N-G
That's spells RING
Listen up, Gollum
Let me TELL you someTHING
What is your WRATH
compared to the MIGHT of a WRAITH
who lives to CREEP in the DEAD of NIGHT?
Impaling hobbits in their SLEEP
Scar'em to death with FRIGHT
BREAK their FAITH
MAKE'em WEEP
while I TAKE deLIGHT
A wreath of iron THORNs
ADORNs me with a crown of DREAD
Just you try to pumPING me FULL of LEAD
Getcha sumTING AIGHT
A MORNing STAR upside the HEAD
Yeah, that's RIGHT
That's what I SAID,
beeYOTCH
yo-YO-yo-YO-yo
I'ma a NazGUL
Nasty ass FELLOW minus a SOUL
Like a bat outta HELL
Riding a FELL BIRD with a stinky CROTCH
so foul and SMELLY
Flying fast and furiousLY FAR
Straight outta AngMAR
Mister G
WORD
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Magnetron
Deep Under Groundhog
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2014
- Posts
- 4,089
Sweet Precious of Ours
A simple golden band
absent a diamond voice
yet truth be told
to behold
twas rarer than a unicorn in petting zoo
when we first stumbled across its
No, my Love
we has no choice
Cannot live life without this
sweet Precious of ours
Gollum! GOLLUM!!
A juicy fish
is what we wish for
and are so inclined
to bash your thieving skulls in with a rock
Handses
touching neckses
reaching out
chokesing you
give it to us
you filthy Hobbitses!
Oh, sweet Precious of ours
Gollum! GOLLUM!!
No crunchable birdses
to sinks teeth into
and we are so inclined ...
... to murder you in your sleep
and take back what is rightfully ours ...
... AHHHHHHHGGG!
and the brave souls that read it aloud
Read by Tzara
Read by Lyricalli
Read by Trixareforkids
A simple golden band
absent a diamond voice
yet truth be told
to behold
twas rarer than a unicorn in petting zoo
when we first stumbled across its
No, my Love
we has no choice
Cannot live life without this
sweet Precious of ours
Gollum! GOLLUM!!
A juicy fish
is what we wish for
and are so inclined
to bash your thieving skulls in with a rock
Handses
touching neckses
reaching out
chokesing you
give it to us
you filthy Hobbitses!
Oh, sweet Precious of ours
Gollum! GOLLUM!!
No crunchable birdses
to sinks teeth into
and we are so inclined ...
... to murder you in your sleep
and take back what is rightfully ours ...
... AHHHHHHHGGG!
and the brave souls that read it aloud
Read by Tzara
Read by Lyricalli
Read by Trixareforkids
Magnetron
Deep Under Groundhog
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2014
- Posts
- 4,089
I stumbled across these posted in another poetry forum I don't frequent much these days.
Noel by J.R.R. Tolkien
Grim was the world and grey last night:
The moon and stars were fled,
The hall was dark without song or light,
The fires were fallen dead.
The wind in the trees was like to the sea,
And over the mountains’ teeth
It whistled bitter-cold and free,
As a sword leapt from its sheath.
The lord of snows upreared his head ;
His mantle long and pale
Upon the bitter blast was spread
And hung o’er hill and dale.
The world was blind, the boughs were bent,
All ways and paths were wild :
Then the veil of cloud apart was rent,
And here was born a Child.
The ancient dome of heaven sheer
Was pricked with distant light ;
A star came shining white and clear
Alone above the night.
In the dale of dark in that hour of birth
One voice on a sudden sang :
Then all the bells in Heaven and Earth
Together at midnight rang.
Mary sang in this world below :
They heard her song arise
O’er mist and over mountain snow
To the walls of Paradise,
And the tongue of many bells was stirred
In Heaven’s towers to ring
When the voice of mortal maid was heard,
That was mother of Heaven’s King.
Glad is the world and fair this night
With stars about its head,
And the hall is filled with laughter and light,
And fires are burning red.
The bells of Paradise now ring
With bells of Christendom,
And Gloria, Gloria we will sing
That God on earth is come.
The Shadow Man by J.R.R. Tolkien
There was a man who dwelt alone
beneath the moon in shadow.
He sat as long as lasting stone,
and yet he had no shadow.
The owls, they perched upon his head
beneath the moon of summer:
They wiped their beaks and thought him dead,
who sat there dumb all summer.
There came a lady clad in grey
beneath the moon a-shining.
One moment did she stand and stay
her head with flowers entwining.
He woke, as had he sprung of stone,
beneath the moon in shadow,
And clasped her fast, both flesh and bone;
and they were clad in shadow.
And never more she walked in light,
or over moonlit mountain,
But dwelt within the hill, where night
is lit but with a fountain –
Save once a year when caverns yawn,
and hills are clad in shadow,
They dance together then till dawn
and cast a single shadow.
Noel by J.R.R. Tolkien
Grim was the world and grey last night:
The moon and stars were fled,
The hall was dark without song or light,
The fires were fallen dead.
The wind in the trees was like to the sea,
And over the mountains’ teeth
It whistled bitter-cold and free,
As a sword leapt from its sheath.
The lord of snows upreared his head ;
His mantle long and pale
Upon the bitter blast was spread
And hung o’er hill and dale.
The world was blind, the boughs were bent,
All ways and paths were wild :
Then the veil of cloud apart was rent,
And here was born a Child.
The ancient dome of heaven sheer
Was pricked with distant light ;
A star came shining white and clear
Alone above the night.
In the dale of dark in that hour of birth
One voice on a sudden sang :
Then all the bells in Heaven and Earth
Together at midnight rang.
Mary sang in this world below :
They heard her song arise
O’er mist and over mountain snow
To the walls of Paradise,
And the tongue of many bells was stirred
In Heaven’s towers to ring
When the voice of mortal maid was heard,
That was mother of Heaven’s King.
Glad is the world and fair this night
With stars about its head,
And the hall is filled with laughter and light,
And fires are burning red.
The bells of Paradise now ring
With bells of Christendom,
And Gloria, Gloria we will sing
That God on earth is come.
The Shadow Man by J.R.R. Tolkien
There was a man who dwelt alone
beneath the moon in shadow.
He sat as long as lasting stone,
and yet he had no shadow.
The owls, they perched upon his head
beneath the moon of summer:
They wiped their beaks and thought him dead,
who sat there dumb all summer.
There came a lady clad in grey
beneath the moon a-shining.
One moment did she stand and stay
her head with flowers entwining.
He woke, as had he sprung of stone,
beneath the moon in shadow,
And clasped her fast, both flesh and bone;
and they were clad in shadow.
And never more she walked in light,
or over moonlit mountain,
But dwelt within the hill, where night
is lit but with a fountain –
Save once a year when caverns yawn,
and hills are clad in shadow,
They dance together then till dawn
and cast a single shadow.
Magnetron
Deep Under Groundhog
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2014
- Posts
- 4,089
Words With Mellons
I no longer play Scrabble with Gollum(s)
they're always insisting that should I lose
will be gnawing me whole with toothless gums
raw and wriggling, so I must refuse
Rather than spell it out for them with tiles
Instead, I chat them up through Palantir
hiding my fear behind widened smiles
voice cracking 'neath trades of witty banter
One of these days they may finally catch
on to the fact of my apprehension
I can't sooth the savage beasts with a batch
of Elvish muffins; Chokes us! at mere mention!
What's a hapless hobbit like me to do
should they learn I am spelling RINGS with you?
I no longer play Scrabble with Gollum(s)
they're always insisting that should I lose
will be gnawing me whole with toothless gums
raw and wriggling, so I must refuse
Rather than spell it out for them with tiles
Instead, I chat them up through Palantir
hiding my fear behind widened smiles
voice cracking 'neath trades of witty banter
One of these days they may finally catch
on to the fact of my apprehension
I can't sooth the savage beasts with a batch
of Elvish muffins; Chokes us! at mere mention!
What's a hapless hobbit like me to do
should they learn I am spelling RINGS with you?
Piscator
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- May 30, 2003
- Posts
- 1,898
Hark doth there a sonnet grow in this neglected garden?
Magnetron
Deep Under Groundhog
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2014
- Posts
- 4,089
