The Mabeuse Scale

[shereads]

Ouch.

Methinks someone is hitting below the belt today

-Colly

"Below the belt" and "Above the belt" could be scoring levels. Not sure how it would work, but then I'm more of a "big picture" person. I need minions to work out the details.

I had also thought to propose a simple "thumbs-up" or "thumbs-down" scoring option for people who are too intimidated by the one-thru-five system and the thermometers.

But thumbs are taken, at least in the U.S. where "thumbs-up" is typically associated with a well-known team of movie critics. (Is Ebert the dead one or the other one? I can never remember.)

So it would have to be another body part. Toes-up doesn't do a thing for me.

 

[MathGirl]

I give a lot of fives as well. A lot of what I read moves me in some way and that is what good writing should do. Move the reader.

My scale is a little skewed. I prefer to give good votes to bad and will often neglect to give a lower vote, especially if it is beneath the story's current average. I always try to give feedback, even when I don't vote.

Dear Co,
If only there were more voters like you. If there were, I might start allowing reader voting again.
Admirationarily,
MG

 

[Madame Manga]

This scale is from ten years of reading and editing erotic fan fiction, but applies pretty well to Lit. It took me a while to admit to having negative opinions; I wasted a lot of time in female fanfic communities trying to preserve everyone's self-esteem. That's one reason I'm here rather than sticking with the fic people.

1. I didn't finish it. You don't write a form of English I am able to decipher; your subject matter is vile; your attitude to humanity and human sexuality reminds me of people who stand trial at The Hague. Go away.

2. I didn't finish it unless I felt like self-torture or you begged me to edit it and I felt obligated to do so for some unfathomable reason. I will not point out every detail because it would take a year, so here are some vague, general suggestions. Start over from scratch if you want to accomplish what you set out to do, but I have my doubts that it will help. When you start this low, even the best of intentions are unlikely to lift you higher.

3. Not bad. I got through it. Way ahead of many people, with enjoyable points. I have plenty of suggestions for improvement, but I will only list them if I think you are interested. Waste of time otherwise. Plenty of writers are happy to stay right here. I'll give you a warm word of encouragement and feel good for having done so if you don't get a swelled head and decide to set up as an internet fic diva with a "following". A real hazard at this level.

4. Hot damn, that was fun. I'll be looking for more. I might have minor suggestions, but don't bother fiddling with it unless you are a perfectionist. Thoroughly competent with possible flashes of genius. You know what you are doing, and you are probably aware of it. If you aren't, I will gladly tell you so. You have fans, and you deserve them.

5. I kiss your feet. I am jealous and ecstatic, transformed. The contents of your mind shimmer like the stars and the black velvet of night, and it's all there on the page. The world is a better place because you post your stories where I can read them. Please write back. Maybe a little stardust will rub off on me.

MM

 

[shereads]

Having gone to the trouble to come up with a smiley-based scale, I'm saddened to see that days later, we still have only the numbered system and the thermometers available to us when we wish to quantify our story feedback.

The thermometers are a useful symbol for most of you, but in South Florida a high temperature means "unbearably awful."

I found a story this week that deserved a double dancing banana and one to which I'd have added a bonus devil face, but without the proper tools in the system I had to setttle for a 5 on the first - and for the second, the story that really blew me away, a creative solution:

I gave it a 5, then scored it again and added a 1.

I hope the author is as grateful for the bonus score as I was for the story!

 

[KillerMuffin]

The KM scale:

1. You pissed me off on the boards or you have a stupid user name.

2. You wrote it in second person, but I'm not pissed off at you.

3. You wrote a really, really good story and you haven't pissed me off yet.

4. You're A No. 1 tops as a writer. Or I like you.

5. Your name is KillerMuffin.






[/joke]

 

[Xelebes]

Well, I go to other sites which have stories not so greatly done so here is my 10-point system for all stories sex related (even the far extreme bestiality-rape-pedo ones):

1: 4 53>< 57()RY 1|\| 1337??//??!1!!!11!???? LOLOLOLOLOLZ omgwtfbbq

2: a;n then I saq my mom naled wih my 4 yar pld sster soo I fuked hr.

3: I raped Christina Aguilera/a donkey/ 3 year old daughter. (note - level 1 x level 3 < level 1, level 3 x level 10 = 3)

4: I fucked Christina Aguilera/ a donkey/ 3 year old daughter.

5: One time at band camp (hyper anxious breath)...

Literotica scale

6: OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAHHHHHHH! Fuck my cunt!

7: I have DD breasts with a small ass.

8: A shallow story is developed - but it's there. Sex scene has self-infatuated people but not so over glorified as seen in 7.

9: A story is developed a bit. 2 or 3 sex scenes nicely tied. Factual descriptions given of the characters.

10: The main character is dissatisfied with her/his looks but a good long story that leads to nice climaxes.



I have sadly read a lot of controversial stories and have seen a few stories written in leetspeak. I feel so prematurely yet artificially weathered.

 

[shereads]

Does anybody else think the celebrity sex stories are creepy? I know, the likelihood of Christina A reading one of those stories is slim to none, but just knowing that people are writing pornographic stories about real people who don't even know them, seems like a deeply personal violation. A cyber-rape. Ick.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

celebrity jewels

Does anybody else think the celebrity sex stories are creepy? I know, the likelihood of Christina A reading one of those stories is slim to none, but just knowing that people are writing pornographic stories about real people who don't even know them, seems like a deeply personal violation. A cyber-rape. Ick.

I have to say I'd be pretty disappointed if I threw myself up on the big screen as a sex symbol (britney, madonna, christina) and no one had any ideas good enough to put down in black and white for the good of our 'needy' readers.

IMO the only creepy sex story about a celebrity I can think of would star Courtney Love...running to bathroom to vomit now...

-E- (does this make me vain?)

 

[Dirt Man]

This scale is from ten years of reading and editing erotic fan fiction, but applies pretty well to Lit. It took me a while to admit to having negative opinions; I wasted a lot of time in female fanfic communities trying to preserve everyone's self-esteem. That's one reason I'm here rather than sticking with the fic people.

1. I didn't finish it. You don't write a form of English I am able to decipher; your subject matter is vile; your attitude to humanity and human sexuality reminds me of people who stand trial at The Hague. Go away.

2. I didn't finish it unless I felt like self-torture or you begged me to edit it and I felt obligated to do so for some unfathomable reason. I will not point out every detail because it would take a year, so here are some vague, general suggestions. Start over from scratch if you want to accomplish what you set out to do, but I have my doubts that it will help. When you start this low, even the best of intentions are unlikely to lift you higher.

3. Not bad. I got through it. Way ahead of many people, with enjoyable points. I have plenty of suggestions for improvement, but I will only list them if I think you are interested. Waste of time otherwise. Plenty of writers are happy to stay right here. I'll give you a warm word of encouragement and feel good for having done so if you don't get a swelled head and decide to set up as an internet fic diva with a "following". A real hazard at this level.

4. Hot damn, that was fun. I'll be looking for more. I might have minor suggestions, but don't bother fiddling with it unless you are a perfectionist. Thoroughly competent with possible flashes of genius. You know what you are doing, and you are probably aware of it. If you aren't, I will gladly tell you so. You have fans, and you deserve them.

5. I kiss your feet. I am jealous and ecstatic, transformed. The contents of your mind shimmer like the stars and the black velvet of night, and it's all there on the page. The world is a better place because you post your stories where I can read them. Please write back. Maybe a little stardust will rub off on me.

MM

Spoken like a true editor. And I agree with this way of scoring more than any other that I've seen presented here thus far. Should any of the authors here at lit be thinking of submitting their work to real publishing houses they would do well to keep what you have said here in mind before handing their manuscript over to the postal worker.

As Always
I Am the
Dirt Man

 

[Dirty Slut]

Originally posted by dr_mabeuse
Level I story: How I fucked Brittany [sic] Spears

Level II story: How I’ll make love to You (second person narrative)

Level III story: Average story. Flat, transparent and predictable characters who often tell us how good looking they are. Exclamation points abound. Lots of subjective description: “the most beautiful tits I’d ever seen in my life”; “he thought he’d died and gone to heaven”; “it felt really great when he did that”. No emotion besides horniness. Bra cup and penis size often quantified. Sex scenes often unimaginative and only adequately described.

Level IV story: Good, competent story, but with typical Literotica characters: gorgeous, horny woman/horny man with flat personalities and no internal life. Noticeable telling and unnecessary explanation of things to readers which intrude on story action. Pornographic content limited to graphic descriptions of sexual acts. Little emotion aside from sex.

Level V story: complex characters with interesting internal lives. Settings and situations are intrinsically erotic, not just the sex itself. Mood and millieu are developed and subtleties of relationships explored. Contains original or insightful observations about human sexual behavior or leaves us with feelings other than arousal.

Just my opinion

---dr.M.

I find it amusing that after putting up my own way of voting for each story in another thread that only now are others doing the same thing here. LOL Oh yeah, and another thing: Indeed Dirt Man, you are are very right about that.

DS

 

[Guest]

 

[Madame Manga]

Spoken like a true editor. And I agree with this way of scoring more than any other that I've seen presented here thus far. Should any of the authors here at lit be thinking of submitting their work to real publishing houses they would do well to keep what you have said here in mind before handing their manuscript over to the postal worker.

As Always
I Am the
Dirt Man

Thank you, that's very kind.

I might add that Level 3 is often the "Publishers have editors to fix manuscripts, so I don't need to do it myself" stage. Several of the 3s I know have spent a lot of money on vanity press editions and as a result like to refer to themselves as 'published authors'. For some reason, 4s and 5s rarely do that.

MM

 

[Ann Vremont]

I gave it a 5, then scored it again and added a 1.

? That means, doesn't it, that you gave them a 3 total. 1 vote at 5 and 1 vote at 1 equals 2 votes totaling 6 for a scale of 3?

I'm not sure the author would be happy with that

Ann

 

[gauchecritic]

? That means, doesn't it, that you gave them a 3 total. 1 vote at 5 and 1 vote at 1 equals 2 votes totaling 6 for a scale of 3?

I'm not sure the author would be happy with that

Ann

Hmm. Please tell me you weren't being serious.

Gauche

 

[Ann Vremont]

Hmm. Please tell me you weren't being serious.

Gauche

Yes, I was--and would like to know how double voting (is it even allowed--aren't double votes deleted?) would work so that a 5 vote and a 1 vote is a 6.

Ann

 

[Dirty Slut]

Originally posted by Madame Manga
Thank you, that's very kind.

I might add that Level 3 is often the "Publishers have editors to fix manuscripts, so I don't need to do it myself" stage. Several of the 3s I know have spent a lot of money on vanity press editions and as a result like to refer to themselves as 'published authors'. For some reason, 4s and 5s rarely do that.

MM

What I find weird about those 3's is that when they give you their book to read you can't get past the first two paragraphs without wanting to vomit. LOLOLOL

DS

 

[shereads]

Hmm. Please tell me you weren't being serious.

Gauche

Gauche, she's right. It is serious. I hadn't done the math. When I realized that my 5 and bonus 1 averaged out to only 3, I went back and voted two additional 1s to bring the score back up to 5.

Better?

 

[shereads]

Re: celebrity jewels

I have to say I'd be pretty disappointed if I threw myself up on the big screen as a sex symbol (britney, madonna, christina) and no one had any ideas good enough to put down in black and white for the good of our 'needy' readers.

Isn't that a bit like saying you'd be disappointed not to have stalkers?

 

[gauchecritic]

Yes, I was--and would like to know how double voting (is it even allowed--aren't double votes deleted?) would work so that a 5 vote and a 1 vote is a 6.

Ann

Ann,

As far as I'm aware, you can't vote twice with the same Lit name, so Shereads was expressing (somewhat obscurely) her feeling for the story which actually merited a 3 at best in her opinion but used either sarcasm or irony (which would explain quite a lot) I'm not entirely sure which, in a humorous manner in order to point out her own self worth as a critic and bon viveur. Or not.

Gauche

(please take any apparent sarcasm in this post as unintentionally rude. I have no excuse.)

 

[Gary Chambers]

Gauche, she's right. It is serious. I hadn't done the math. When I realized that my 5 and bonus 1 averaged out to only 3, I went back and voted two additional 1s to bring the score back up to 5.

Better?

People get their botties smacked for that sort of thing.

 

[Ann Vremont]

...so Shereads was expressing (somewhat obscurely) her feeling for the story which actually merited a 3 at best in her opinion ...

Thank you for the clarification. What I get, I suppose, for not reading the first two paras of her post, particularly the second.

Ann

 

[Dirty Slut]

Originally posted by shereads
Gauche, she's right. It is serious. I hadn't done the math. When I realized that my 5 and bonus 1 averaged out to only 3, I went back and voted two additional 1s to bring the score back up to 5.

Better?

The voting works on the average scale, meaning: you add up every score, then divide by the number of votes given. Every time you vote that's counted as a person voting. If Laurel finds two, or more votes from the same person all of their votes are eliminated from that story.

Example:

3 friends/fans rate the story a 5 x 3 =15 points
4 friends/fans rate the story a 4 x 4 =16 points
2 real peoples rate the story a 3 x 2 =06 points
2 real peoples rate the story a 2 x 2 =04 points
4 snertattack rate the story a 1 x 4 =04 points
Totals=

the votes added up to 45 points
15 people have voted

15 votes for a total score of 45
You divide the total score of 45 by 15= an average score of 3.00

Of course if no snerts attack your story the votes add up to 41, but you now divide by only 11 giving you a score of 3.73.

And if 2 real people didn't vote you a 2 you'd have a score of 37, but now you only divide by 9 giving you a score of 4.11.

Hope this helps explain how the voting system here works.

DS

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Re: Re: celebrity jewels

Isn't that a bit like saying you'd be disappointed not to have stalkers?

God I hope not...simple admiration and naughty thoughts on paper will do.


seriously? yes the whole thing is super creepy and i do not condone stalking or sexing up celebrities on paper, but have to admit a recent issue of MAXIM had Gina Gershon on the cover and can I just say DAMN! It would not be fair to say the story ideas did not come rushing forth, but alas will forever remain in the idea stage.

still not sure i'd call it cyber-rape, tho

-E

 

[sweetnpetite]

I try to judge a story based on what the writer is trying to do. So if it's a "I fucked Britney Spears" story, I judge it at that level, not at the level of Shakespear. Did you make me feel like I was right there watching you fuck Britney? Did you convey all that you meant to convey? Did the picture you've painted in my head make me wish that I had fucked Britney? I'm I all hot and bothered now? Well, you get a five.


Did you try to write 'erotica' but you used to much passive voice, boring nouns and verbs with two many adjectives and adverbs and lots of trite cliche's that werent ment as jokes or there for some other good reason. Sorry sounds like a two, maybe three. (Depending on how much effort seems to have gone into it.)

To me there is nothing wrong with a stroke story. I like them and I like to write them. Some of my stroke stories are pretty damn good (in my oppinion.) and some of them are not so good. However, I am pretty resentful that a good well written stroke story gets voted 3 or 4 just because there is no 'character development' One of the HARDEST things to find is *quality* stroke. The poorest writers often gravitate to "I fucked her massive DD tits with my 9 inch shlong" type stories, never checking there grammer or spelling -cuz 'who cares it's only porn'.

My scale is a bit different than the others.

1. You didn't even try. You obvioulsy wrote this when you were turned on, but you didn't bother to adequatly convey that. A lot of times these are the stories that *really* happened. (since it was exiting to them, they think it will make an exiting story)

2. Minimal effort, took to many shortcuts. (esp. using size numbers in place of any other describtion) It's not really good, but it's not completly awful. There's too much wrong with it for me to bother offering constructive critisism unless you specifically asked for it.

3. So-so effort. Flawlessly bland. (Maybe what some would call 'hack' writing.) The writing was good and all but the sex was pretty routine. Nothing else was going on. Not so much 'slot A and tab B' as "First he did this to me, then he did that, then we did this." The sex is a series of everchanging positions. so boring.

4. Good effort, story is hot and/or effective (whatever it's intentions are) I would probably send feedback and suggestions.

5. Wow. The sex and/or the story was great, the mechanics were flawless- I didn't have to think about them. I will be asking YOU for advice. (Or I will just be intimidated by you.) This could be a good stroke story (or viniette or whathave you) or it could be a great story in and of itself. It may or not have been particularly erotic (ie, pornographic, sorry that's what I like) to me. If the story is excellent, it's five. Five pretty much means I couldn't find anything wrong with it. (Colleen Thoms pretty much always gets a 5, but if I held everybody up to the standard of her writing, pretty much no one else would.) But each story is judged only on it's own merrits.

 

[shereads]

As far as I'm aware, you can't vote twice with the same Lit name, so Shereads was expressing (somewhat obscurely) her feeling for the story which actually merited a 3 at best in her opinion but used either sarcasm or irony (which would explain quite a lot) I'm not entirely sure which, in a humorous manner in order to point out her own self worth as a critic and bon viveur. Or not.

Gosh, yes. That's it exactly, Ann. I was doing what he said, I think. I just didn't realize it.