The Mega Fun Fun Happy Brain Thread! (ot)

[Blue]

————————

 

[elli1point1]

How did it go?

Meh. I get six 30min sessions in which he'll tell me basis stuff I can find in every self-help guide online. Basically, learn to Dom yourself. But I'm a sub!

 

[Blue]

I found out that I got outed to one of my family members. And I guess whoever else they decided to tell since then. Might not be so bad if their response wasn't 'yuck'.
Thankfully they know very little other than that I'm into bdsm as a vague concept so it's definitely not as bad as it could be.
I'm perpetually cautious to keep myself anonymous here to avoid it and ironically I eventually messed up in real life.
Guess I'll buy some land in the Falklands with a natural cave and go live in it for a bit.

I'm exaggerating. It's unnerving and it's embarrassing and yeah the sound of hiding in a cave in the sub-Antarctic circle isn't entirely unappealing but the silver lining is that I don't have crippling anxiety about everything any more and by my standards I think I'm taking the knowledge really well which is a rare positive thought.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/adventuretimewithfinnandjake/images/5/50/Evil_Cupcake.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20120205213327[/IMG]

Angry cupcake? Lol

Meh. I get six 30min sessions in which he'll tell me basis stuff I can find in every self-help guide online. Basically, learn to Dom yourself. But I'm a sub!

That just sucks. Who wants to do that?!

 

[elli1point1]

ppppppppffffffrrrrttttt

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

ppppppppffffffrrrrttttt

Did you fart?

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I found out that I got outed to one of my family members. And I guess whoever else they decided to tell since then. Might not be so bad if their response wasn't 'yuck'.
Thankfully they know very little other than that I'm into bdsm as a vague concept so it's definitely not as bad as it could be.
I'm perpetually cautious to keep myself anonymous here to avoid it and ironically I eventually messed up in real life.
Guess I'll buy some land in the Falklands with a natural cave and go live in it for a bit.

I'm exaggerating. It's unnerving and it's embarrassing and yeah the sound of hiding in a cave in the sub-Antarctic circle isn't entirely unappealing but the silver lining is that I don't have crippling anxiety about everything any more and by my standards I think I'm taking the knowledge really well which is a rare positive thought.

Crippling anxiety is a drag.

I'm glad you're not moving to Antactica. I bet the WiFi there is spotty at best and costs a mint!

 

[elli1point1]

Did you fart?

Don't remember, I was drunk.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Don't remember, I was drunk.

You spell pretty good for a drunk person!

 

[yukonnights]

I found out that I got outed to one of my family members. And I guess whoever else they decided to tell since then. Might not be so bad if their response wasn't 'yuck'.
Thankfully they know very little other than that I'm into bdsm as a vague concept so it's definitely not as bad as it could be.
I'm perpetually cautious to keep myself anonymous here to avoid it and ironically I eventually messed up in real life.
Guess I'll buy some land in the Falklands with a natural cave and go live in it for a bit.

I'm exaggerating. It's unnerving and it's embarrassing and yeah the sound of hiding in a cave in the sub-Antarctic circle isn't entirely unappealing but the silver lining is that I don't have crippling anxiety about everything any more and by my standards I think I'm taking the knowledge really well which is a rare positive thought.

Could be worse...seems like BDSM is the "in thing" lately. It could even turn out great...like, their gossip might be; "Who would have guessed he was so cool"

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Had a hard day. Genuinely depressed, didnt want to people, even cried. Took my extra pill and did some self-care without fighting it. Finally took a nap and slept like a log.

Tomorrow I will regroup, refine and expand my self-care list, and start checking off boxes. Progress is good, forward movement. Prioritise what i have energy for. Make sure to laugh, hug my dogs, do something creative, move my body, listen to music, and drink lots of water. And do something to make me feel pretty.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Not a happy brain day

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Brain is okay, weather is nice. Circumstances could be better.

 

[Blue]

Basically describes my self image in a neat little chart.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I laughed so hard at the smaller, jealous wing.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Depression achievement stickers should be a thing

I got out of bed before 3pm!
I took my meds
I didn't cry in public
I ate something
I went out of the house
I used my out loud words/i signed
I didn't cancel/skip any appointments
I changed my clothes this week
I intentionally watched something happy/funny, even though I didn't want to

Okay, these aren't nearly as much of an issue for me as they were say a year ago, but I remember what it felt like to literally be too sad to get out of bed. Good times!

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

It's been such a wierd morning. I've was practically manic for the first few hours today. Got lots of shit done, even wrote a surprisingly complicated xl tool just to see if I could.

Finally ate food around 3pm and now that's all crashing down, collapsing into a nasty headache.

Hydrate! Do some yoga?

I want to learn tai chi.

 

[Blue]

Depression achievement stickers should be a thing

I got out of bed before 3pm!
I took my meds
I didn't cry in public
I ate something
I went out of the house
I used my out loud words/i signed
I didn't cancel/skip any appointments
I changed my clothes this week
I intentionally watched something happy/funny, even though I didn't want to

Okay, these aren't nearly as much of an issue for me as they were say a year ago, but I remember what it felt like to literally be too sad to get out of bed. Good times!

Let me try this checklist to see how well I'm doing.

I managed to get out of bed within 20 minutes of having to be somewhere.
What meds?
I feel nothing
I ate something
I went out of the house but wouldn't have done if I didn't need to
(I don't know what an 'out loud' word or an equivalent is.)
No appointments scheduled
I changed my clothes this week
I think I watched something funny but I didn't find it funny

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Let me try this checklist to see how well I'm doing.

I managed to get out of bed within 20 minutes of having to be somewhere.
What meds?
I feel nothing
I ate something
I went out of the house but wouldn't have done if I didn't need to
(I don't know what an 'out loud' word or an equivalent is.)
No appointments scheduled
I changed my clothes this week
I think I watched something funny but I didn't find it funny

*I laughed at the first one. I've done that, too.
*You might want to talk to your Dr. about depression meds? They're not magic, but they help.
*You don't feel anything? Yep, sounds like the D word.
*YAY!
*More YAY! You adulted!
*Sometimes I can't bring myself to communicate verbally. It's too much effort, and it seems pointless. I try to make myself sign (ASL), it's an achievable compromise.
*It's nice to have an appt-free week
*More adulting!
*I can relate. Good effort regardless. Maybe it wasn't dark enough?

 

[Blue]

*I laughed at the first one. I've done that, too.
*You might want to talk to your Dr. about depression meds? They're not magic, but they help.
*You don't feel anything? Yep, sounds like the D word.
*YAY!
*More YAY! You adulted!
*Sometimes I can't bring myself to communicate verbally. It's too much effort, and it seems pointless. I try to make myself sign (ASL), it's an achievable compromise.
*It's nice to have an appt-free week
*More adulting!
*I can relate. Good effort regardless. Maybe it wasn't dark enough?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXx-n6T7tZg

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXx-n6T7tZg

That was awesome.

For you:

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Oh, wow. Anxiety attack. Crying and everything.

Fuck.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Oh, wow. Anxiety attack. Crying and everything.

Fuck.

Update: spent about an hour in an unpleasant mental space, and then did a surprisingly effective job of pulling myself together enough to function on at least a minimal level.

Go me.

One of the skills I'm learning is how to tell my emotions, 'That's nice, Dear,' give them a pat, and then carry on with whatever needs to be done. It's rather liberating, really, when I'm able to do it.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

And then there was today...

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Been a rough month.