My "want to" for having gay sex started in my teens, but I was so terrified of what it ultimately meant, as well as what if anyone found out, kept me away from pursuing it for quite some time. I would chat with guys online and set up a meet, but would chicken out at the last minute.
The summer before my senior year I had a good friend who came out to everyone, and finally one night while we were hanging out I worked up the nerve to ask him if I could give him a blowjob. Afterwards the inner turmoil was so great that it was like 4 years before I pursued that interest again. The second time I was so much more relaxed and didnt have any moral dilemmas afterward, I knew then and there that, even though I loved women, I will still always have that latent urge to have sex with men also, from time to time.
The summer before my senior year I had a good friend who came out to everyone, and finally one night while we were hanging out I worked up the nerve to ask him if I could give him a blowjob. Afterwards the inner turmoil was so great that it was like 4 years before I pursued that interest again. The second time I was so much more relaxed and didnt have any moral dilemmas afterward, I knew then and there that, even though I loved women, I will still always have that latent urge to have sex with men also, from time to time.
