The new bdsm personal forum is good entertainment.

[TNRkitect2b]

I for one feel that my comments are justified. I have seen pics of a aprticular ad poster, have talked to her before, and I do think that she is a wonderful person to get to know. If I knew of anyone in her area of the country that was looking and fit her requirements, I would send them the link to her add with a strong recomendation to reply to it.

 

[Mr Blonde]

I saw this thread and out of morbid curiosity went to look at new Personals forum. And I will honestly say that some of those people seemed very inexperienced. Adults can do as they please between consenting partners and I am not snooty that only a certain group of "qualified" people can have some BDSM activities in their life. I am certainly no grand master but I know the basics of what I am doing. I hope for safety's sake people are a little more informed/saavy than they seemed at first glance.

Let's hope no one gets hurt. Know what I mean?

 

[WriterDom]

I hope for safety's sake people are a little more informed/saavy than they seemed at first glance.

Let's hope no one gets hurt. Know what I mean?

What would one expect since the ocean it is fishing from is the old personal board which has always lacked quality in my opinion. As much as I hate stickies there probably should be one with safety concerns there.

 

[catalina_francisco]

What would one expect since the ocean it is fishing from is the old personal board which has always lacked quality in my opinion. As much as I hate stickies there probably should be one with safety concerns there.

My original intention was to attach something of the kind as well as a little guideline such as other sites have as to how to increase success for those seriously searching, but as I didn't post it I did not get an opportunity. I can appreciate the concerns about inexperienced people, but the reality is we are not their keepers and there are a multitude of Personals boards out there...and we all start somewhere...hopefully they will check out the forum and get some tips from posters here in the many threads we have on such topics, or read online. Many in the beginning do not have contacts outside of online opportunities, but it is hoped they will learn in a safe way. I for one can definately vouch for online Personals as a successful journey and hope others find as much happiness.

Catalina

 

[WriterDom]

If you go to bondage.com, you probably already have an interest in bdsm. Here you can just stumble upon it on your way to the playground. As I have said before, I've seen nillas take some stupid risks when it came to meeting me. And I recently chatted with a friend who was beaten with a crop and when she safe worded out, he didn't stop. With the exception of SkylineBlue and Netzach, I see names I haven't seen before. And as Mr. B pointed out, some are very green. As we all were at some point. I'd feel better if the gateway was through here instead of the playground/personals.

 

[catalina_francisco]

If you go to bondage.com, you probably already have an interest in bdsm. Here you can just stumble upon it on your way to the playground. As I have said before, I've seen nillas take some stupid risks when it came to meeting me. And I recently chatted with a friend who was beaten with a crop and when she safe worded out, he didn't stop. With the exception of SkylineBlue and Netzach, I see names I haven't seen before. And as Mr. B pointed out, some are very green. As we all were at some point. I'd feel better if the gateway was through here instead of the playground/personals.

I saw more than SB and N from here but I also don't think it is necessary for us to know them, or appropriate to refer to, or vouch for anyone in the Personals section, from the board. I never found any success on larger sites when I was searching...a lot of posers as in married men looking for a free bit of sex a plenty but rarely anyone very genuine. Most I found in the legitimate category including Master were on smaller sites with BDSM sections in their Personals or exclusively BDSM Personals.

Catalina

 

[A Desert Rose]

I thought I had nothing to say about this topic until now.

If you consider Literotica as though it were a newspaper or magazine, it makes perfect sense to put the classifieds (personals) all in one place. And although I agree with the concerns of Mr. Blonde and WD, I also agree with catalina that we are not everyone's keeper. (Personally, I could not care less where the bdsm personals are because I won't be reading them.)

The internet is as safe as YOU make it. And conversely, it's as dangerous as you allow it to become. Like a wise guy said to me once, "no one was ever raped on the internet." (And he meant like real-life rape, not some online metaphor.) There is plenty of help sites and SSC sites and then of course, there is this forum. If anyone has the sense to turn on a computer and connect to the internet, they certainly have the sense to find safe areas.

 

[Mr Blonde]

Yes, we are not anyone's keepers. Everyone at Literotica is 18 years old and intelligent enough to turn on a computer, so they can make their own decisions in life. I am not knocking people who wish to place personals. If you are not finding people in normal circles, it is positive and proactive to cast as wide a net as possible.

I just hope that people are not naive or desperate/lonely enough to put themselves at risk. For instance, I saw people leaving email addresses which can potentially be used to trace down names and locations. I also saw people who did not seem to have much understanding about BDSM asking for non-introductory things.

It is fine to have to use personal ads but you should still be discerning and fully aware of exactly what you are getting yourself into.

 

[MissTaken]

I did add to bluespoke's sticky concerning how to post responsible personal ads.

I can ask that he separate it and perhaps I can beef it up to be a separate sticky.

As part of that post, I invited any with questions or concerns to this forum.

The names we don't know are people who are lurking or who haven't posted here for whatever their reasons are. They have always existed. In allowing BDSM personals over there --------> perhaps the people who need to learn caution will do so more aptly than randomly putting ads out there or on other sites? Perhaps not?

I don't know if I am making sense. I need coffee!

 

[catalina_francisco]

Yes, we are not anyone's keepers. Everyone at Literotica is 18 years old and intelligent enough to turn on a computer, so they can make their own decisions in life.

I have to agree Mr. Blonde and admit I was a little short sighted in thinking all the risks would come from without not within our ranks, and those warning of such things. I totally agree people here should be inteligent enough to make their own decisions, especially in relation to posting their own personals if they so wish. Maybe I am on my own here, I don't know, but as a moderator, and the one who suggested proposing this idea of a BDSM Personals on Lit, I no longer believe submissives in particular are being given a choice of whether they want to be advertised, safety in this community, or respect when I see one of our regular Dominant's posting on the Personals thread to anyone interested in this manner...."Some of you may want to spend some time on the other bdsm boards here. There are pretty nice available subs that would probably like to know you better if you don't come on too strong. (https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=223795)

I'm sorry if it upsets some people but to me it takes away the free choice of submissives who post here, treats them in a disrespectful manner, and basically invites any Dominant or jerk who reads it to think it is OK to come hunting and hasseling submissive women (not gender picking but the wording to me leaned more as directing attention to female subs) on the forum....in other words the way I see it, it is saying submissives on this board are not only fair game for anyone who chooses, but are here on offer, which to me does not fit the safety rules so often spewed forth by many here. While some may say this was raised, it was not suggested we would be the ones to invite the window shoppers to the board to check out the 'talent' so to speak, that was the purpose of the Personals section....a place for people to post and look IF THEY WERE INTERESTED. OK, I have had my vent for the day, take it or leave it.

Catalina

 

[WriterDom]

I
I'm sorry if it upsets some people but to me it takes away the free choice of submissives who post here, treats them in a disrespectful manner, and basically invites any Dominant or jerk who reads it to think it is OK to come hunting and hasseling submissive women (not gender picking but the wording to me leaned more as directing attention to female subs) on the forum....in other words the way I see it, it is saying submissives on this board are not only fair game for anyone who chooses, but are here on offer, which to me does not fit the safety rules so often spewed forth by many here. While some may say this was raised, it was not suggested we would be the ones to invite the window shoppers to the board to check out the 'talent' so to speak, that was the purpose of the Personals section....a place for people to post and look IF THEY WERE INTERESTED. OK, I have had my vent for the day, take it or leave it.

Catalina

With all due respect, I think you are full of shit. Give a little credit to the submissives who post here. I fail to see how inviting people into the forums is taking away the free choice of anyone. I didn't invite anyone to come here and hassle or harass. My point was to come here and make friends, and that could down the road, lead to more.

 

[Limbhugger]

Told myself I was done with this but...

Who's full of shit?

Posted by WriterDom:

"My bad poetry has gotten me laid more than anything else. It doesn't work on all women. But more than you may think. The key is to start off very sweet. Get her to look forward to something everyday. Interject more romance and sexuality. Within a month she'll meet you at the door in her panties."

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=223795

That's respectful? That's just genuinely trying to help folks out? Maybe in your world but it sure sounds like a lot of ego driven drivel to me.

It becomes more and more obvious to me every day why so many people don't post here and why so many regular poster disappear.

 

[WriterDom]

It becomes more and more obvious to me every day why so many people don't post here and why so many regular poster disappear.

Maybe if you took yourself less seriously, you could post some ego driven drivel also. And I guess it just depends on who you talk to as to who is driving posters away. Your av drives me away.

 

[Desdemona]

To my way of thinking, WD's post on the personal's board is irrelevant to the safety and free choice of submissives here at Lit. We all have the ability to use the ignore feature if somebody comes on too strong. We're grown people and able to take care of ourselves.

 

[A Desert Rose]

"Some of you may want to spend some time on the other bdsm boards here. There are pretty nice available subs that would probably like to know you better if you don't come on too strong. "Get on your knees and suck my cock" isn't going to win many hearts. Not a bunch of Doms, but some. If you see a guy named Richard, he is always looking for a sub.

Taking time to slowly make friends has worked better for me than personals."

What exactly is wrong with this post? Apparently, WD has met some "pretty nice available subs" at this forum. In his experience, they (those subs he knows) would be interested in meeting new people who don't come on like gangbusters. And then he goes on to advise people that HE has had better luck getting to know a person and making friends than he has with personals.

I don't see where he has taken away anyone's choices, especially when you read the post in it's entire context. We all have an ignore button. We also have the choice to respond to advances by people or not. Nowhere does it say that one has to respond to a PM.

Anyone can take one sentence from someone's post and rip them to shreds over it. But really, that's not fair.

 

[Desdemona]

ADR, thank you for sharing the post in it's entirety. I agree 100% with you. There is nothing wrong with what WD posted.

 

[WriterDom]

Thanks Rose for sharing the entire post. It doesn't paint me as quite the monster that someone is making me out to be. You too, Des.

 

[Krinaia]

Because I've been mentioned here - I would like to add a word or two. I'd like to thank those whose ideas and actions made the personal section a reality.

And I too was a little concerned with the nature of one or two of the ads there ... and since I don't consider myself exactly single or exactly looking, I made my own contribution in a way which I felt might encourage others and hopefully, would help me meet some people in my area.

I don't think however, that it is either nice or tolerant to make fun of those posts. A nice, and gentle pm to the poster might be a nice gesture. I know I recieved one or two of those during my first few weeks here and I am grateful for them. Women with words of caution and offers of friendship.

I'll go on to say, that some of the posting in this thread reminds me a lot of middle school. I won't name names but I think everyone needs to stop taking life so seriously (myself included on occasion) and just learn to have a little fun. If you see a poster in the bdsm personals whose ad might warrant a little advice - provide it in a friendly and helpful way through pms. Don't bring it here to cafe so that you can ridicule them. By doing so, you are in no way helping them to improve themselves and aid them in their journeies.

I personally, will go back to watching the wetsuit personal thread in interest and amusement and hope this fellow finds someone with similar interests. I've never thought there would be such a fetish out there and am glad for the opportunity to expand my awareness of the broadness of human sexuality.

 

[FungiUg]

Let me know when you post one, I will gladly pick it apart and it does not have to be of the Literotica BDSM personals we can have a go at personals from other sites like for example bondage.com.

Francisco.

Oooh, okay! I have one on bondage.com and one on alt.com -- oddly enough, both under the name FungiUg (you would never have guessed that, right?)

Seriously, I've never minded being made fun of, so long as it's done in good humour (rather than to be cruel.) And for ads, all discussion is good discussion. After all, the intention is to get people to notice you and start thinking "hmmm, I wonder whether that person would work for me?"

 

[Krinaia]

SWF, likes long walks on the beach and having her ass spanked....



I have a profile at bondage.com too... inspired by our "i am your master thread" .... and have encountered one or two lit people over there It so far has resulted in one almost relationship that I should be glad never happened and one relationship possibility in the works - the inspiration for the thread "we're sorry, your call cannot be completed as dialed" - amusing stuff that.

Just have fun with it people. Oh and I haven't recieved orders from you my email master, fungi. Whatever shall I do without your guidance?

 

[FungiUg]

It becomes more and more obvious to me every day why so many people don't post here and why so many regular poster disappear.

Interesting.

The thing about boards like this is that they attract all sorts. Often the vocal ones (myself included) tend towards egoism, and with that, intolerance is often included.

The other thing is learning when people have disagreements, that it's not personal. There are people on here I have disagreed with (vocally) and yet who I like or have a lot of respect for. There are people on here who have decided I disliked them because I disagreed with them, when it was quite the opposite. Generally those people I dislike, I ignore.

I have been a member of many boards. There are always the spats, in-fights and so on. They happen. It's a natural part of people interacting. It's annoying when it happens, but it does happen.

It's also perfectly natural to want to be able to laugh at ourselves, to poke fun at ourselves, to learn not to take ourselves too seriously. That's how we learn to examine ourselves in a non-defensive manner, and it's also how we learn to see ourselves from an external viewpoint. It's part of the process of becoming tolerant of others -- seeing ourselves as others see us.

So if we are poking fun at ourselves, at our personal ads, then I say that's a good sign! It's not a sign of intolerance, it's a sign of admission that we are funny! We are odd and a little different, and worth a chuckle or too.

I for one am not here to be "politically correct", although if my behaivour does offend someone, I am happy to apologise (since that is never my intention.) Learning to relax, and find the real people here, warts and all (as much as I admire WD, for example, he's not perfect. That's perhaps why I admire him!) is part of forming a real community and friendships.

There are always the 'fall outs"... those who get annoyed and move on. That's just natural as well.

So, those of you who would speak out for tolerance, let's also be tolerant of ourselves.

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

As an aside--

This thread backfired like a mofo didn't it.



~anelize

 

[Limbhugger]

Interesting.

The thing about boards like this is that they attract all sorts. Often the vocal ones (myself included) tend towards egoism, and with that, intolerance is often included.

The other thing is learning when people have disagreements, that it's not personal. There are people on here I have disagreed with (vocally) and yet who I like or have a lot of respect for. There are people on here who have decided I disliked them because I disagreed with them, when it was quite the opposite. Generally those people I dislike, I ignore.

I have been a member of many boards. There are always the spats, in-fights and so on. They happen. It's a natural part of people interacting. It's annoying when it happens, but it does happen.

It's also perfectly natural to want to be able to laugh at ourselves, to poke fun at ourselves, to learn not to take ourselves too seriously. That's how we learn to examine ourselves in a non-defensive manner, and it's also how we learn to see ourselves from an external viewpoint. It's part of the process of becoming tolerant of others -- seeing ourselves as others see us.

So if we are poking fun at ourselves, at our personal ads, then I say that's a good sign! It's not a sign of intolerance, it's a sign of admission that we are funny! We are odd and a little different, and worth a chuckle or too.

I for one am not here to be "politically correct", although if my behaivour does offend someone, I am happy to apologise (since that is never my intention.) Learning to relax, and find the real people here, warts and all (as much as I admire WD, for example, he's not perfect. That's perhaps why I admire him!) is part of forming a real community and friendships.

There are always the 'fall outs"... those who get annoyed and move on. That's just natural as well.

So, those of you who would speak out for tolerance, let's also be tolerant of ourselves.

Well I think it just took you eight paragraphs to tell me to lighten up. Irony in itself.

Truth is, I love to poke fun and mostly at myself. I have a great sense of humor and only take myself seriously when the situation warrants it. You'll find my lighter sprinkled around all over Lit.

But I also call them as I see them and just ask that others do as well. It would be especially nice if people could own up to their words and the motivation behind them.

I make no pretense of being here to make buddies with every single person. I don't much care who does what with whom or what they see in any of it. But the concept of this thread was making fun of people who are posting ads. Poking fun at regulars and ourselves is a little different.

Do whatever you want and think whatever you want. But don't expect me to sit around not voice my opinion of it.

 

[WriterDom]

I for one am not here to be "politically correct", although if my behaivour does offend someone, I am happy to apologise (since that is never my intention.) Learning to relax, and find the real people here, warts and all (as much as I admire WD, for example, he's not perfect. That's perhaps why I admire him!) is part of forming a real community and friendships.

I am not perfect? Damn. I feel that the majority of the time, my heart is in the right place. And that I've given a lot to this community which has in turn given me some amazing friends. And in my opinion, which might be off the mark, I think trouble follows me more than I create trouble. I just wish it would end and I can go back to the posts that I enjoy. I think a small part of the problem stems from my name. To call yourself "Writer" and "Dom" on this site is pretty arrogant. But you need to understand that I only came here because AOL shut down the erotic boards so I kept the same name not intending to ever post on the boards. We can keep looking for my warts or move on. I'd like to move on.

 

[redelicious]

HEY!

Get over yourselves and post over here -> https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=221633

(and keep it nice, k?)