The Online Predator

[Ebonyfire]

I think this goes without saying, Eb... But it seems to me that the door swings both ways and with all genders... There are FemDommes out there that are just as predatory as MaleDommes and there are male submissives that are just as predatory and female ones.

You are right a little bit of common sense goes a long way with who ever you are and whom ever you are meeting, either on-line or in RL.

YOu forget I talk to male subs all the time, and I do not find them half as gullible. Why? Cause men are natural predators who learn from birth how to hunt the elusive woman.

I will waste no sympathy on gullible men (or women for that matter). In My world, it is root little piggy or die. No one held My hand through life, and I made it My business to teach My girls how to protect themselves.

 

[Ebonyfire]

i'll make, live, and die in a hell of my own device.

That is My point. We make our own hells, and we make our own beds. We choose to be victims if we want to.

Step up to the plate, and take responsibility.

No one here is a child.

 

[Pure]

ED said,

//Unsubstantiated or no, I think Mr. B has a good breakdown of the intuitive processes I think I'm using when I weigh someone's veracity and consistency. Basically, if I sat down and thought, ok, what's the actual process by which my bullshit detector works, he's hit a few key features.//

I partly agree, though Mr. B confuses a number of issues: bullshit detection is a general issue. many lie about themselves; their income, attractivenes etc. some believe it, and hence don't fit Mr. B's criteria of doing funny things with their eyes or speaking in odd rhythms etc.

BUT a bullshitter is not a psycho killer! or even a 'wacko'. That's what Mr. B seems entirely confused about.

I read a recent article by Ekman, I believe, discussing why many law enforcement people are very BAD at detecting lies. Ekman claims he, a psychologist, can do so, by looking at facial expressions which take place in a few milliseconds.

It's obvious though, if you've read the 'lie detector' literature that this device (and its operator) are highly fallible, and hence their conclusions are not usable in court as direct evidence of guilt or innocence.

J.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

That is My point. We make our own hells, and we make our own beds. We choose to be victims if we want to.

Step up to the plate, and take responsibility.

No one here is a child.

Does this mean i don't have to worry about a strap on any more Eb?

 

[Ebonyfire]

Does this mean i don't have to worry about a strap on any more Eb?

Not by Me, lol. I have plenty asses to fuck. However if you wanna....I am here for ya!

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Not by Me, lol. I have plenty asses to fuck. However if you wanna....I am here for ya!

Sorry Eb, chuckling, i think we'd butt heads on quite a few things, including who was going to do whom's tail.

And thank you for afternoon dessert.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Sorry Eb, chuckling, i think we'd butt heads on quite a few things, including who was going to do whom's tail.

And thank you for afternoon dessert.

Well, I do not switch, so that is that.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Well, I do not switch, so that is that.

i have one and only one upon whom to focus, so a respectful nod to both you and your strap on.

 

[ethereal~minx]

what in the world? jeez laweeeeez, i'm really taking offense to some of the suggestions here~~ 'no one held my hand'...
etc...

oops gotta run::::::::::::my "protector/Master" is beckoning me *wink*


bbl to add my .02

 

[Ebonyfire]

what in the world? jeez laweeeeez, i'm really taking offense to some of the suggestions here~~ 'no one held my hand'...
etc...

oops gotta run::::::::::::my "protector/Master" is beckoning me *wink*


bbl to add my .02

Take offense all you want, it will not change anything. You really shouldn't take offense to things that may not concern you. Or do they? In any case, grow up. what I said was not a suggestion, but MY opinion. Do not read it if it offends your sensiblities.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Sorry Eb, chuckling, i think we'd butt heads on quite a few things, including who was going to do whom's tail.

I always butt heads with male Dominants and femsubs. So what? We do not live in the same world, so why should we agree on anything? I can live with it, and I am sure you can too.

 

[catalina_francisco]

That is My point. We make our own hells, and we make our own beds. We choose to be victims if we want to.

Step up to the plate, and take responsibility.

No one here is a child.

So true.....while we are adults, some choose to ignore their common sense knowing in the doing they are playing with fire and more than likely to be burned, but I for one want the freedom to make that choice and take responsibility if my worst instincts are confirmed....is all about living responsibly as an adult, and not a victim.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

Actually EB we rarely disagree and that while I am male and Dominant or maybe actually I am secretly in love with you and want to be a male slave kicked around all day by you. But like always you have been able to put in one sentence what would have cost me 2 pages. I think a lot depends on your own views of the world and the strength of your own convictions.

Pure being killed or murdered is a big issue and it is certainly the one act that draws most attention, but it is only a minor risk compared to the many unfavourable outcomes that are possible.

Like you said psychopaths are not that common, more common is the heartless bastard, the selfish person, the scam artist out for its own personal gain, the online Master out to increase its stable, etc, etc.

Francisco.

 

[Ebonyfire]

So true.....while we are adults, some choose to ignore their common sense knowing in the doing they are playing with fire and more than likely to be burned, but I for one want the freedom to make that choice and take responsibility if my worst instincts are confirmed....is all about living responsibly as an adult, and not a victim.

Catalina

I am not saying the Predator Thread is not useful, but I find it is easy to blame others for our own stupidities. There is no growth there.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Actually EB we rarely disagree and that while I am male and Dominant or maybe actually I am secretly in love with you and want to be a male slave kicked around all day by you. But like always you have been able to put in one sentence what would have cost me 2 pages. I think a lot depends on your own views of the world and the strength of your own convictions.

Pure being killed or murdered is a big issue and it is certainly the one act that draws most attention, but it is only a minor risk compared to the many unfavourable outcomes that are possible.

Like you said psychopaths are not that common, more common is the heartless bastard, the selfish person, the scam artist out for its own personal gain, the online Master out to increase its stable, etc, etc.

Francisco.

LOL, I never kick My subs, they are too valuable.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I am not saying the Predator Thread is not useful, but I find it is easy to blame others for our own stupidities. There is no growth there.

I agree.......responsibility for ones actions is the key to evolving and learning to like yourself a lot more.

C

 

[Ebonyfire]

I think a lot depends on your own views of the world and the strength of your own convictions.

That is exactly where my views come from. As a Black woman growing up in the 50s and 60s, strength of character, and the ability to rise from adversity was not a luxury, it was a necessity. I feel very strongly about taking responsibility for things, and the victim mentality that sometimes surfaces here angers Me greatly. If others get upset with Me cause I do not sing the tune they want, so be it. It makes no difference to Me.

Like you said psychopaths are not that common, more common is the heartless bastard, the selfish person, the scam artist out for its own personal gain, the online Master out to increase its stable, etc, etc.

And, although heartless bastards can come in bitch flavor too, all that means is that men and women need to cool their hormones down enough to use the brain God gave them.

We all have issues and challenges, it is how we rise above them that makes the difference.

 

[ethereal~minx]

eeee look what i started~~ now my stomach really hurts *blech*

my words where not chosen as precisely as they should have been. *singing* what i really meant to say i-- AGREE
we create our own reality~~ make our own hell~~ WE MAKE OUR OWN CHOICES!!!! I AGREE!

does anyone here NOT? i really don't think so, my goodness.
this is great information for all people, specifically online~~ it speaks to commonsense, yes sure it does but

the reason i feel alittle 'personally attacked/offended' i guess (not specifically anyone) is because it seems y'all are of the opinion to believe this information is valuable--
you don't know who you are
you have NO common sense
you're immature
you don't take responsibility for yourself
you're gullible

ugh.. weyll--- i feel ostracized.
i do not feel victimized in any way by the person i wrote about. i do take responsibility for every experience i'm in.
did i go against my gut?
could i have noticed signs if i had been listening closely to my own inner knowing? yes!
was this a entire new world opening up w/ a transformative fountain of experiences to treasure? yes!
did i want to believe everything was happening as it was meant? yes.
did i grow through the experience? YES!!!!!!
did i need this information? NO.

it is just plain good information. A person chooses every moment how they will live every moment. I agree with you all.

I do not however, agree that a person chooses to be a victim. they may believe they have been victimized and hurt, you may hear of their pain and suffering but they will not tell you it was their choice to be a victim anymore than you or i would ever choose to be

the opinions-- while they are appreciated-- are well, felt and
i just wanted to express my opinion too : ) ...because i know it won't go unappreciated

 

[catalina_francisco]

IThat is exactly where my views come from. As a Black woman growing up in the 50s and 60s, strength of character, and the ability to rise from adversity was not a luxury, it was a necessity. I feel very strongly about taking responsibility for things, and the victim mentality that sometimes surfaces here angers Me greatly. If others get upset with Me cause I do not sing the tune they want, so be it. It makes no difference to Me.

Yes, we were discussing this today. I sometimes get the feeling life experience and survival is something some want us to apologise for, especially for some who have not faced demons for one reason or another. I do not mean to offend or alienate anyone, but for myself, life has thrown me some really big ones to deal with which I have, and in the process learned and survived and I can no more go back to pretending I haven't learnt these lessons, nor would I want to, than I could expect those who have not learned them to have an instant enlightenment.

Life is a journey and we are all at different places on our travels, so therefore sometimes have insights others do not and should not be attacked or criticised or called 'expert' just because in discussions we refer to those lessons or experiences others may not have had. I personally like to hear what others have learned, whether I have been there or not, or whether I agree or not. I do not ask them to apologise, nor do I expect I should have to apologise for my own experience and opinion.

Catalina

 

[Ebonyfire]

you don't know who you are
you have NO common sense
you're immature
you don't take responsibility for yourself
you're gullible

You are reading a lot into these posts, however, all I have to say is this.

If the shoe fits, wear it. If it does not, pass it by.

But taking personal other people's opinions cause you do not like how they read, well that is just nonsense.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Life is a journey and we are all at different places on our travels, so therefore sometimes have insights others do not and should not be attacked or criticised or called 'expert' just because in discussions we refer to those lessons or experiences others may not have had. I personally like to hear what others have learned, whether I have been there or not, or whether I agree or not. I do not ask them to apologise, nor do I expect I should have to apologise for my own experience and opinion.

Catalina

True. I just feel it is telling that My words seem to make some folks around here feel like I am talking about them. It is not My problem that My words resonate.

I have said repeatedly, that My function is not to make subs (male or female) feel warm and fuzzy at My words.

I speak bluntly and with purpose. if that offends some here, then that is just too damn bad.

 

[catalina_francisco]

IMO this guide is good information, very good information which will help you recognise the so called predators.

But while this information is very valuable, it is not the bible. It is IMO just a guideline, more important then any piece of paper is the organ that people have between those things used to listen with.

Read the guidelines, use them to your own avail, but above all use your own brain, think things through. Common sense can be a great thing to have. Read what is not said mostly.

Francisco.

 

[catalina_francisco]

True. I just feel it is telling that My words seem to make some folks around here feel like I am talking about them. It is not My problem that My words resonate.

I have said repeatedly, that My function is not to make subs (male or female) feel warm and fuzzy at My words.

I speak bluntly and with purpose. if that offends some here, then that is just too damn bad.

LOL....yes I always like to speak in truth and my experience, not interested in sugar coating and beating around the bush, and find this seems to upset many. Was once told by someone far more 'expert' than me that most find the honesty and strength of my ways too confronting and then feel challenged to defend themselves even though all my original intention was, was to speak from my own reality and leave others to live the reality they feel comfortable with. Don't try to understand it anymore as I can not please all the people all the time, so I have to work on being true to me first and foremost, if others like it great, if not, I won't try and please and screw my brain up doing it.

Catalina

 

[Ebonyfire]

LOL....yes I always like to speak in truth and my experience, not interested in sugar coating and beating around the bush, and find this seems to upset many. Was once told by someone far more 'expert' than me that most find the honesty and strength of my ways too confronting and then feel challenged to defend themselves even though all my original intention was, was to speak from my own reality and leave others to live the reality they feel comfortable with. Don't try to understand it anymore as I can not please all the people all the time, so I have to work on being true to me first and foremost, if others like it great, if not, I won't try and please and screw my brain up doing it.

Catalina

Yep. There is always somebody around to tell you that you do not know shit, isn't there?

I just do not bother to listen. I know the shit that is right for Me.

 

[Pure]

Hi Ethereal One,

you said,


eeee look what i started~~ now my stomach really hurts *blech*

my words where not chosen as precisely as they should have been. *singing* what i really meant to say i-- AGREE
we create our own reality~~ make our own hell~~ WE MAKE OUR OWN CHOICES!!!! I AGREE!

does anyone here NOT? i really don't think so, my goodness.
this is great information for all people, specifically online~~ it speaks to commonsense, yes sure it does but

the reason i feel alittle 'personally attacked/offended' i guess (not specifically anyone) is because it seems y'all are of the opinion to believe this information is valuable--
you don't know who you are
you have NO common sense
you're immature
you don't take responsibility for yourself
you're gullible

=====

I don't think you're imagining things about what you've been told. You have been told to take responsibility, 'step up to the plate' etc. The suggestion has been made that victims choose that 'fate.'


you continued, [EM:]



ugh.. weyll--- i feel ostracized.
i do not feel victimized in any way by the person i wrote about. i do take responsibility for every experience i'm in.
did i go against my gut?
could i have noticed signs if i had been listening closely to my own inner knowing? yes!
was this a entire new world opening up w/ a transformative fountain of experiences to treasure? yes!
did i want to believe everything was happening as it was meant? yes.
did i grow through the experience? YES!!!!!!
did i need this information? NO.

it is just plain good information. A person chooses every moment how they will live every moment. I agree with you all.

I do not however, agree that a person chooses to be a victim. they may believe they have been victimized and hurt, you may hear of their pain and suffering but they will not tell you it was their choice to be a victim anymore than you or i would ever choose to be

the opinions-- while they are appreciated-- are well, felt and
i just wanted to express my opinion too : ) ...because i know it won't go unappreciated

=====

OK, there are a lot of bromides about each moment being chosen, etc. Lot's of new age and old age cliches.

I don't want to say anything about your fitting the bill of irresponsible person, intentional victim, etc. If you were duped, that is unfortunate; most of us who trust at all have been.

The point comes back to your statements that it's 'good information' and that it's NOT needed (i.e., you have some commonsense.)

I'm not sure it's so good, it's a bit like the warnings mothers give about 'big bad wolves'.

I gather you're suggesting that it might have helped you, in mentioning 'signs'. Well, maybe. But a lot of that is hindsight.
The author quite fails to point out the difficulty of the project.
'he's too charming' 'he's inconsistent' etc.

There is no lack of people who say the list might have helped. Yet, they also claim to be following common sense. Iow, they had a list 'watch out for liars' 'careful with strangers' and it didn't work. Would a better list have worked.? I doubt it. In the midst of a bad choice one doesn't see certain things. One of the few valuable things the essay says is to listen to others. Agreed that's good advice. Yet even that is pretty fallible. The woman in love may not be good at listening, may say "You're unfair to him; yes he has problems, but there's nothing wrong, etc., you don't know him like I do. i can help him."

What one doesn't hear is "I read the warnings, and saw I was about to make a mistake, and I applied the 'red flags' and saved myself a lot of hurt and 'victimization.'" Why not? For one thing, it's hard to know what would happen. Usually there is no 'control' or comparison. To take the 'worst case'. The psychopath, Ted Bundy, 'missed' on occasion. A woman did not go with him. Did she have a 'list'; was it her 'gut' or her 'commonsense.' Probably not. Rather some fluke like she didn't have time to stop and 'help; etc. MAYBE she finds out a year later she was talking to a serial killer, but generally we don't find that out. Occassionally a friend get involved with someone we've dropped and they get really screwed, but that's the exception.

Going back to an earlier posting where you mention being trusting. That perhaps was unwise, though I don't say you wanted to be a victim. On the other hand, I can't conclude your'e too trusting. *Everyone who trusts can and will be 'taken' on occasion.* There may well be nothing 'wrong' with you.

So we get back to a list that says, "Dont be so trusting; run, if you see x". Same point as above. As you say, the commonsense person probably doesn't need it. The one on the path to some trouble, I maintain, probably isn't helped by most of it, for the same reason you weren't helped by your commonsense.
And that's the central problem. The author makes it sound too damn easy by 'demonizing' the other, and s/he lumps all kinds of deceivers and psychopaths together.

So these are my thoughts and I hope you don't believe I'm getting into the 'making your own reality' question. I'm sure you agree with the bromides; that's why they aren't worth getting into.

best,

pure.