The Proper Punishment For A Naughty Sub/Slave

[Bandit58]

We talking funishments or actual punishments that aren't supposed to be fun? Cause it seems like people are them getting mixed up here...

S doesn't need to do a damn thing to me. I keep myself in check and the very idea of disappointing or hurting him, even if I haven't done anything, is punishment enough. Self-imposed preventative measures you could call it. Sucks that "being a good, kind partner" doesn't sound as sexy.

Sorry, that's not nearly as exciting as holding a dime against the wall, or being the focus of a gangbang, or getting whipped/beaten/whatever. But it's extremely effective, I must say.

God yes. I beat myself up much more than He could ever beat me if I upset or disappoint Him.

So I try not to do it My pain threshold is pretty low at the moment so physical spankings/canings/croppings are not fun

 

[chy_girl]

I'm all for funishment, actually. When it's playtime, sometimes "I've been naughty, sir. I think I need a caning, teehee!" is just plain fun. But when it comes down to being considerate and responsible for my actions, then... I take that very seriously. Punishment as a real means of behavior correction just wouldn't work for me/us. :T

Don't get me wrong, funishment is a grand time and I've made a quiet, SAMMY comment on more than one occasion to get an extra hard lick of a dragon's tongue. But SAMMY moments are different than behaving in a punishment worthy way... or even a discipline worthy way.

The fact of the matter is, I would always beat myself up far worse than they could ever dream of - for things they saw little or no issue in. I generally have high expectations for myself. When I found them worthy to submit to I took took those expectations even more seriously. Hell, I'm uncollared and still keep them in mind when conducting myself at gatherings. And my lack of collar is glaringly obvious. To even semi-regular attendees.

And I don't know about your PYL, but mine were smart enough to know that impact play didn't qualify as a punishment. They were also kind enough to keep punishments and disciplines private.

 

[CutieMouse]

Hmmm. Should a sub be paddled or whipped :caning:?

Alternative from the pyl:

"Sweetheart? I could really use a spanking/flogging/caning tonight..."

Alternative from the PYL:

"Pick one - paddle, hand or flogger."

Perhaps not allowed to cum for days on end?

Why? What behavior would this correct?

Maybe subjected to a (completely willing) gangbang

If it's *completely willing* then how exactly is it punishment?

or public humiliation to show them their place ?

Again, what behavior is this supposed to correct? And she them what "place"?

What do you think? As a Sub/Slave or as a Dom/Master/Daddy/Mistress? There are so many punishments out there, which is your favorite?

I don't do punishment dynamics, so I don't have a "favorite" punishment... I do, however, enjoy several [most] of the things you listed off as punishment, so I simply make a point to get involved with men who enjoy those things also. That way instead of having to spend time finding excuses to enjoy ourselves, we just enjoy ourselves.

Ooo! Even better, how about not allowing them to wear clothes for a few days?

Impractical as hell.By "punishing" the pyl with enforced nudity, the PYL would be taking on the burden of living in a house with the curtains drawn shut, and always being the one to answer the door/get the mail/run the errands/etc. It could easily double (or triple) the amount of work required by the PYL, while the pyl hangs out in his/her little nudist fantasy with few (if any) ordinary obligations... again - how is that punishment?

The list goes on.

I'd love to hear what you think about this either as a reply or a PM Maybe give my Dom a few ideas while your at it

Or, maybe spend some time over a bottle of wine and talk about each others desires and see what the two of you can come up with... (I'm starting to think I'm way too old and boring for this stuff anymore. LOL)

 

[KoPilot]

(I'm starting to think I'm way too old and boring for this stuff anymore. LOL)

I'm 22 and I feel boring and old!

 

[KoPilot]

Don't get me wrong, funishment is a grand time and I've made a quiet, SAMMY comment on more than one occasion to get an extra hard lick of a dragon's tongue. But SAMMY moments are different than behaving in a punishment worthy way... or even a discipline worthy way.

The fact of the matter is, I would always beat myself up far worse than they could ever dream of - for things they saw little or no issue in. I generally have high expectations for myself.

Alla this exactly.

And I don't know about your PYL, but mine were smart enough to know that impact play didn't qualify as a punishment. They were also kind enough to keep punishments and disciplines private.

Maybe it's not very "D/s" of us, but we generally expect each other to act and communicate like two adults in an adult relationship. Especially since we've got a 100% transparency policy, we don't generally have a problem laying things out, fantasies included. Tell it like it is, and then go about with the resistance play or SAMing/bratting.

If S doesn't like something I'm doing, we'll sit down and talk it over. And he's not very picky, either. So I know I'll be dealing myself an emotional beating way worse than he'd ever (need to?) give me. Maybe some folks don't have that internal mechanism or are relying on their PYL to help them cultivate it? To me it just seems like an excuse to be an ass?

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

I don't do punishment dynamics, so I don't have a "favorite" punishment... I do, however, enjoy several [most] of the things you listed off as punishment, so I simply make a point to get involved with men who enjoy those things also. That way instead of having to spend time finding excuses to enjoy ourselves, we just enjoy ourselves.

That's far too normal and healthy, CM.

(I'm starting to think I'm way too old and boring for this stuff anymore. LOL)

Nevah!

 

[graceanne]

Or letting the children "straighten the bookcase." I mean really. I'm glad they want to help and all, but not one can seem to understand that their books go on the kid shelves. And just because they look at a book doesn't mean it's a kid's book.

...I have general info books on things like herbs and home remidies mixed in with text books, the dictionary is with the grown up novels, and I have text books sharing a self with Twilight. And my text books are no longer arranged by catagory, sub-catagoy, and then arranged by class level.

Isn't it nice when the kids want to help with some things?

I hear you. I have some really good childrens encyclopedias with great pictures. The kids LOVE them, but they go in with the grownup books. The problem is that the kids put them back BACKWARDS. And I don't want to be mean or discourage them cleaning up after themselves, so I have to wait until they're asleep before I fix them but it DRIVES ME BATTY.

*shrugs*
To each their own, I suppose, but god help the Dom who ever thinks they're going to punish me for the fun of it. I did that once (before the People) and once was plenty.

That's a hard limit for me. Wanna spank? No problem, be honest about it. Don't pretend I've been bad, cause that pushed my guilt button which pisses me off.

Or, maybe spend some time over a bottle of wine and talk about each others desires and see what the two of you can come up with... (I'm starting to think I'm way too old and boring for this stuff anymore. LOL)

Are you suggesting they act like adults?

 

[CutieMouse]

Are you suggesting they act like adults?

I suppose so... of course it seems like the one's who don't do things that way end up in relationships, and I rarely do, so I might not know what I'm talking about. LOL

 

[graceanne]

I suppose so... of course it seems like the one's who don't do things that way end up in relationships, and I rarely do, so I might not know what I'm talking about. LOL

More likely their aren't many adults out there.

 

[fma30f]

hi

Hmmm. Should a sub be paddled or whipped :caning:? Perhaps not allowed to cum for days on end? Maybe subjected to a (completely willing) gangbang or public humiliation to show them their place ?

What do you think? As a Sub/Slave or as a Dom/Master/Daddy/Mistress? There are so many punishments out there, which is your favorite? Ooo! Even better, how about not allowing them to wear clothes for a few days? The list goes on.

I'd love to hear what you think about this either as a reply or a PM Maybe give my Dom a few ideas while your at it

I like to submit to caning,because cane is my favorite.Not as punishment, but as a turn on and motivator. I dont beleive orgasm denial is part of my enjoyment.Anyway,openions may differ.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Hi there- I'm curious, what kind of squat are we talking about? Are we talking a full on squat, where you basically wind up looking like you're sitting on an invisible chair?

I'm asking 'cause I've started a new workout routine, but, since for the moment I'm using my home gym, I don't have the equipment to perform a proper squat (where you have a barbell with hundreds of lbs of weight on your shoulders as you squat and stand). Instead, what I've been doing is different: Squat without weights, back against the wall, so that it looks like I'm sitting on a low bench next to the wall...Granted, I've just started my workout routine 6 days ago, but I can only squat like that for 35 seconds top...and those last 10 HURT!!. I can hold a high horse/low horse stance

...only without the snow and half nakedness for...maybe 2 minutes (haven't done it in awhile, hence I dunno). Long story short: how muscular is your sub?! Or what am I missing from the picture?

When I say squat I don't mean the horse stance or any variation thereof, mostly because it would be damned impossible to maintain if one is leaned forward with their poor noses pressed to a wall!! Best way I can explain is the way a very lady like woman would pick up a coin, knees closed and bent, if they were in a skirt. The difficulty is not allowing the knees to touch the wall~and staying up on the tip toes to maintain a semblance of balance!!!

As for the rest of the conversation~ I don't use pain for punishment. I don't try to make the punishment a game or entertaining. I don't think punishment should be arbitrary or fun. It's fucking punishment. *nods* Because my relationships and lifestyle hinge on the Daddy(i)/baby girl(boy) dynamic, punishment sucks but is sometimes needful.

*shrugs*

I have never understood the need to make punishment pleasing to the pyl~if s/he crossed a line, s/he knows what to expect from me. Otherwise what would be the point of building rapport along those lines? (And honestly there are very few things that piss me off so bad I can't discuss them...but I hate repeating myself. A conversation once or twice is a given. But if my girl/boy still doesn't get it THEN punishment is in order.)

I assumed this thread concerned actual punishment and answered accordingly. Was I incorrect to do so?

 

[KoPilot]

When I say squat I don't mean the horse stance or any variation thereof, mostly because it would be damned impossible to maintain if one is leaned forward with their poor noses pressed to a wall!! Best way I can explain is the way a very lady like woman would pick up a coin, knees closed and bent, if they were in a skirt. The difficulty is not allowing the knees to touch the wall~and staying up on the tip toes to maintain a semblance of balance!!!

As for the rest of the conversation~ I don't use pain for punishment. I don't try to make the punishment a game or entertaining. I don't think punishment should be arbitrary or fun. It's fucking punishment. *nods* Because my relationships and lifestyle hinge on the Daddy(i)/baby girl(boy) dynamic, punishment sucks but is sometimes needful.

*shrugs*

I have never understood the need to make punishment pleasing to the pyl~if s/he crossed a line, s/he knows what to expect from me. Otherwise what would be the point of building rapport along those lines? (And honestly there are very few things that piss me off so bad I can't discuss them...but I hate repeating myself. A conversation once or twice is a given. But if my girl/boy still doesn't get it THEN punishment is in order.)

I assumed this thread concerned actual punishment and answered accordingly. Was I incorrect to do so?

Okay, I'm curious now, because the only exposure I've had to punishment dynamics is from those goofy topics about getting trashed when you aren't supposed to, or kissing someone when you aren't supposed to, and making a thread about it was part of the punishment as ordered by their PYL. Those things just seem like plain old inconsiderate dick moves to me; completely preventable had the pyl an ounce of courtesy/obedience/etc.

Now that I think about it, though, it seems close to some of the more "legitimate" forms of financial domination. I read someone's defense of the dynamic a few days ago, and their take was that in some cases (not necessarily the "Pay me tribute, worm!" kinds) it was meant to help the pyl correct some potentially damaging spending habits and to help them learn better money management with a D/s twist.

Is that sort of how you deal with behavior correction through punishment? If it's not financial, what sorts of things do you feel are punishable, or what things have you stepped in to help a pyl correct before? Do they come to you with a specific goal in mind, or do you come up with things as you see fit based on your wants and needs?

/learning via sponge method

 

[teknight]

When I say squat I don't mean the horse stance or any variation thereof, mostly because it would be damned impossible to maintain if one is leaned forward with their poor noses pressed to a wall!! Best way I can explain is the way a very lady like woman would pick up a coin, knees closed and bent, if they were in a skirt. The difficulty is not allowing the knees to touch the wall~and staying up on the tip toes to maintain a semblance of balance!!!
</snip>

Thank you for the clarification. See, I don't have to be ladylike at all when I pick stuff up , so, it just didn't occur to me...and, given my new workout routine, those kinda squats were the only ones that came to mind.
</threadjack>

 

[catalina_francisco]

(I'm starting to think I'm way too old and boring for this stuff anymore. LOL)

...then what does this make me!!

Catalina

 

[Sir_Winston54]

<snip>... (I'm starting to think I'm way too old and boring for this stuff anymore. LOL)

...then what does this make me!!

Catalina

And what does it make me, less than a year from being able to collect SocSec?

You're just a babe in the woods, CM!

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

*snipping for clarity*

Is that sort of how you deal with behavior correction through punishment? If it's not financial, what sorts of things do you feel are punishable, or what things have you stepped in to help a pyl correct before? Do they come to you with a specific goal in mind, or do you come up with things as you see fit based on your wants and needs?
*snip*

There are only a few punishable offenses in my household~

1. Lying~whether it be big or small lies~ for any reason. I do not believe in little white lies, fibs, small untruths...whatever you call em. They annoy me, irk me and make the trust issue MOOT.

(This is ususally the only offense that earns full out ignoring, BTW)

2. Saying "I'm sorry." Especially if you are saying it about something beyond your control. I hate those two words. You can say~ "I apologise" or even "My bad." if it is something that you were the cause of. But even those two phrases aren't acceptable at any other time, for me.

(This is usually a dime/wall offense)

3. Allowing yourself to come to bodily harm because of inaction or not paying proper attention to your surroundings. Or allowing the kidlets to do the same.
(And yes, I know accidents happen...but for the most part, accidents CAN be avoided.)

(This usually earns some sort of boring, unpleasant chore that we have both put off or that I have been saving for just such an occasion.)

The lying is self explanatory.

The "I'm sorry" probably not so much. Needless to say I hear those words and I think of a specific definition...and it does NOT fit the person I am with.

(For your info~ wretched, poor, useless, or pitiful)

In that sense the word "sorry" will never fit and it takes a certain mindset to murmur those words when one has nothing to do with the issue.

The bodily harm one is important to me because I don't want the ones I love to get hurt, period. And if one pays attention and takes their time, the hurt will be avoided or small enough that it is easily fixed and forgiven.

For the most part we work together to accomplish specific goals (My baby mama had a problem with the "I'm sorry" rule...we worked on it for over a year.) I have always explained up front to any person I have tried to build a relationship with EXACTLY what I require. If they choose to ignore me concerning those few things~and the talks don't help~punishment does.

I hope that helps.

 

[fma30f]

hi

punishment is best with cane and cane alone in my openion. not necessary to do a mistake.punishment for the sake of punishing without any reason is all the more fun.