This place needs a name

[patient1]

How about:

Big brother syndrome

Supervised BDSM for your protection

Bullies unite

Mainstream rules for BDSM

Censorship at it's best for BDSM

Attention seekers in diapers

Right wing BDSM

Oppressors of the domain

Mainstream victors rule


Well may not be great, but I am trying to learn the ways of our mainstream conscience so we can at least maintain some control over our own choices.

Catalina

Control You said the secret word! BDSM by nature attracts people with control & trust issues. There will always be disputes over who is in control& how much they have.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Control You said the secret word! BDSM by nature attracts people with control & trust issues. There will always be disputes over who is in control& how much they have.

Not sure it attracts people with these 'issues' as much as it attracts those who have a need to consensually control or be controled, and above all demand trust and honesty as a integral part of their life. To me history shows us the ones with a need to control are the mainstream....they exert their force in every facet of our lives whether welcome or not, and live in a vaccuum characterised by tunnel vision and the 'I am right, you are wrong' syndrome. In this way they avoid ever facing their own fears and inadequacies, instead projecting them onto those who just want to be free to make the choices that are right for themselves, no-one else.

Catalina

 

[MissTaken]

If people could start commenting on the suggestions, maybe someone would volunteer to start a poll?

Then, we could make a decision and get the name changed.

 

[catalina_francisco]

If people could start commenting on the suggestions, maybe someone would volunteer to start a poll?

Then, we could make a decision and get the name changed.

Sorry but I really don't think many have their heart in it. I for one already miss those regulars who have left and suspect there will be more. Francisco for one has told me he no longer wishes to associate with the site. Me? I am more into advocating and speaking out against oppression so at this point stay, but already feel it is likely a pointless decision and may reconsider. Spontaneity is all very fine, but many politicians have come to rue the decision to ignore the voice of the people.

Catalina

 

[Richard49]

If people could start commenting on the suggestions, maybe someone would volunteer to start a poll?

Then, we could make a decision and get the name changed.

That would be approving of this action
and the bulliing that lead up to it

 

[A Desert Rose]

That would be approving of this action
and the bulliing that lead up to it

No I am not stalking you... well ok, maybe I am. ;-)

I ditto your post, once again, Richard

 

[Richard49]

No I am not stalking you... well ok, maybe I am. ;-)

I ditto your post, once again, Richard

You can stalk me

To bad certain people refuse to admit that they are wrong and that we .... the regular posters ... the commuity .... are suffering and will continue to suffer

It teaches me more about the people I would not/do not
want in my RT life

 

[patient1]

That would be approving of this action
and the bulliing that lead up to it

I respect you for standing up for your rights & opinions.
You alone among seem to be consistently against threads based on hostile content.

You could ease your suffering with the use of the ignore feature.


"The community" was in favor of deleting the thread of an "intruder" without explanation.

"The community " was against discussing how the forum was run.

When the removal explanation was given as being non-bdsm related, nobody protested.

When the rule was applied to "The community" protest followed.

Members of "The community" wanted an explanation why their threads were moved, & why they weren't consulted about changes in how things were run.

I think "the community " was hoist on it's own pitard.

I think "The community" is more interested protecting its membership by selective application of rules than admitting any outside opinion could be correct about anything.

But that's just my opinion, I could be wrong.

 

[catalina_francisco]

But that's just my opinion, I could be wrong.

I am glad to see that you admit you can be wrong.

About names for this thread, do not feel we need to give a name to something so unwanted by so many. What we should do is get rid of it and then we can resume what we were doing, discussing BDSM.

Francisco.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Look at those who are now posting here. They only show up for the drama. One hint of disharmony in bdsm and they are in here like sick lookie-lu's, adding their "enlightened" and condescending two cents

 

[patient1]

The best way to end drama is not to participate in it.

 

[FungiUg]

Look at those who are now posting here. They only show up for the drama. One hint of disharmony in bdsm and they are in here like sick lookie-lu's, adding their "enlightened" and condescending two cents

Hmmm. Nope. Catalina and I have been having a ranging bun fight (it's fun!), and we are both regular posters.

I think you're being a bit doomy and gloomy. And it's not true.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Hmmm. Nope. Catalina and I have been having a ranging bun fight (it's fun!), and we are both regular posters.

You're being a bit doomy and gloomy. And it's not true.

I am not posting in reference to you again.

My post referenced others:

One who should take his own advice regarding drama and how to end it.

 

[patient1]

I am not posting in reference to you again.

My post referenced others:

One who should take his own advice regarding drama and how to end it.

Right on Que.

You're proving that you'd rather be here talking about me than BDSM.

 

[FungiUg]

I am not posting in reference to you again.

My post referenced others:

One who should take his own advice regarding drama and how to end it.

I post here. As does Catalina. And we are regulars. You said (and I will quote, just to make sure there's no misunderstanding):

Look at those who are now posting here. They only show up for the drama. One hint of disharmony in bdsm and they are in here like sick lookie-lu's, adding their "enlightened" and condescending two cents

Almost all of the people posting here are the people who have been posting in the BDSM forum anyway (yourself included). We don't "only show up for the drama." That is my point.

I think you are being negative, and I hope you will be open minded enough to give the change a try. If it doesn't work, we can put it back... I apologise if my opinion offends you, because that's not my intention. I am instead trying to ask you to be open minded, give the place a go, and then see if it's only about "drama".

 

[lark sparrow]

Any ideas?

 

[Cheyenne]

I think you are being negative, and I hope you will be open minded enough to give the change a try. If it doesn't work, we can put it back... I apologise if my opinion offends you, because that's not my intention. I am instead trying to ask you to be open minded, give the place a go, and then see if it's only about "drama".

Bravo!

I really think the drama was over yesterday. MissTaken apologized for moving Lance's thread and the thread reappeared at the GB. Everything after that happened because I think MissTaken and Laurel are trying to make this a better place for all of you. The timing may be unfortunate because the new board is somehow being seen as the result of the outcry I made against censorship. I think the two really have very little to do with each other. It's more of a housekeeping issue- how to organize the threads so that they are easily found by people who want to read them. Laurel has done nothing other than add a subsection to make it easier for you to navigate the overall bdsm area of Lit. She is HELPING you, or trying to. I'm sure that was her intent, not some malicious attack against "the Community."

 

[catalina_francisco]

Bravo!

I really think the drama was over yesterday. MissTaken apologized for moving Lance's thread and the thread reappeared at the GB. Everything after that happened because I think MissTaken and Laurel are trying to make this a better place for all of you. The timing may be unfortunate because the new board is somehow being seen as the result of the outcry I made against censorship. I think the two really have very little to do with each other. It's more of a housekeeping issue- how to organize the threads so that they are easily found by people who want to read them. Laurel has done nothing other than add a subsection to make it easier for you to navigate the overall bdsm area of Lit. She is HELPING you, or trying to. I'm sure that was her intent, not some malicious attack against "the Community."

Find agreeing with you most unpalatable and misguided, and I am sure only a fool would hope to convince us of their clear eyed innocence after the recent events and admissions on your own behalf. Malicious intent on the part of Miss T or Laurel may not have been the focus but is how it has been perceived...perhaps a little more understanding, consultation, and thought could have prevented all the politics.

Catalina

 

[Cheyenne]

Find agreeing with you most unpalatable and misguided, and I am sure only a fool would hope to convince us of their clear eyed innocence after the recent events and admissions on your own behalf. Malicious intent on the part of Miss T or Laurel may not have been the focus but is how it has been perceived...perhaps a little more understanding, consultation, and thought could have prevented all the politics.

Catalina

Things could always have been done better when you have 20/20 hindsight. Hopefully, you now realize the perception of Laurel and MissT as malicious is just plain wrong and can move on from there, knowing their intentions are to HELP you, not hurt you.

 

[Lancecastor]

I think "the community " was hoist on it's own pitard.

I could be wrong.

Cheyenne's subboy cum synchophant spelled petard wrong.

Ha!

 

[Lancecastor]

their intentions are to HELP you, not hurt you.

Like Bush "helping" the people of Iraq with laser guided cluster bombs, Miss Republican ?

 

[catalina_francisco]

No... this can not be, I agree with Lance, What has happened the world has come to an end. I agree with the 'devil'.

I think we can all do without dictatorship, even if it is well intended. You can not first create a community and the just decide to split it in two, especially if you are supporting free speech. This has gone beyond a housekeeping issue, this is simply said oppression.

Any thread that is moved from the BDSM Talk to the Free for all threat is immediately classed as fluff. Following that though pattern it could become something like; I do not like that thread, I think it is not serious BDSM; I am going to move it to the fluff thread.

A nice way of saying you are a wannebee, not someone who is into serious BDSM. What has happened to respecting opinions that are not yours? And even if it is fluff who cares? Why should it be in a separate forum? We can all just ignore a thread if we do not want to participate in it. But to make a thread and then have someone decide that it is not BDSM or BDSM related and then move it to the fluff section is making a judgement call. Who decides it, who makes that decision and why?

Francisco.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Things could always have been done better when you have 20/20 hindsight. Hopefully, you now realize the perception of Laurel and MissT as malicious is just plain wrong and can move on from there, knowing their intentions are to HELP you, not hurt you.

Well you see I don't know that...if you do, maybe you would like to share your evidence or inside knowledge with us....and be warned we are not usually satisfied here with the line 'I know because I know and I said so' accompanied by spoilt brat stamping of her pretty toes. As for hindsight, I had input before this event, especially when I correctly read your and your kind's intent while some preferred the option to trust and 'hope it goes away', so I am not attempting to shut the gate after the horse has bolted. Like many dictators I am sure you wish we would all accept you as a mainstreamer are so much wiser than we ourselves are, and have so much insight into what we need. If you like the GB so much, stay there. Diversity is good, we don't need half a dozen models of the GB.

Catalina

 

[Cheyenne]

Well you see I don't know that...if you do, maybe you would like to share your evidence or inside knowledge with us....and be warned we are not usually satisfied here with the line 'I know because I know and I said so' accompanied by spoilt brat stamping of her pretty toes. As for hindsight, I had input before this event, especially when I correctly read your and your kind's intent while some preferred the option to trust and 'hope it goes away', so I am not attempting to shut the gate after the horse has bolted. Like many dictators I am sure you wish we would all accept you as a mainstreamer are so much wiser than we ourselves are, and have so much insight into what we need. If you like the GB so much, stay there. Diversity is good, we don't need half a dozen models of the GB.

Catalina

Surprise! I had input beofre the event, too. Anyone who knows me after 3 years here knows I don't post lies. Ever.

My "kind?" That would be Laurel and MissT then, as they are the ones who added the new board. I had nothing to do with the final decisions, just input on what might happen if the new board was suggested. And no, I won't post private PMs as that would be against the rules.

If you seriously think Laurel's intent was to hurt her own internet site in anyway, you dont' understand how business works.

 

[MissTaken]

I posted on another thread that this might be considered. Cheyenne was teh only person who responded at the time, and had concerns. I sent her the original post as you see it in the "Top of my screen " thread to see if she felt it what was described might address those concerns.

I also searched the forum archives for previous discussion on a sub forum. I read what others had to say. A mixed bag of responses was found.

I also sent the post to Laurel and two other posters who were on somewhat opposite sides of the issue of moderation. One, wants more management by the mod, one wants less.

In any event, then, I sent the post, in it's original form to Laurel. All, from very different pespectives left the post as it was.

I then, pmed Laurel to see if we should take the issue to the forum for a poll or debate before trying it. She posted the new forum and then, responded to me.

I do believe this forum could turn into a good thing for the BDSM crowd if they are willing to give it a try. I am giving it my best shot, but granted, it isn't easy and seems chaotic.

I am trying to address the needs of as many people as possible who have over the months have posted or pmed me.

How?
1. Fluff posters or inexperienced posters don't feel like they belong here because they lack experience. Everyone has a place her, if they have an interest.

2. People enjoy the seroius discussions on the Discussion forum without the flirting, fluff, flames or hijackings.

3. A cry for less moderation and a cry for more moderation. So, two forums, one for each. Messages in my box over the recent months, "Why do you let the bullies carry on?" The answer is because there is nothing that can be done to stop them, unless the entire community ignores them. "Why is she allowed to post silly stuff?" My response was the Fireside Lounge so that people could relax and banter when they felt like it. Other messages,"Is it okay if I post this?" Geesh. We don't need a ruler here.

4. These concerns are from BDSM posters. Many regulars, many newbies or lurkers. What prompted me to start thinking about solutions was my movement of ADR's thread. That was just plain stupid and I do agree that there needs to be space for freedom of expression.

5. The number of those lurking who don't feel they have a place to post. Here is space for everyone to post and feel it is an open environment.

With regard to moderation: I will not be moving threads randomly or on my own whim. I am still trying to work out the kinks, but it will involve input from the posters when a thread is moved. Ultimately, there shouldn't be a need for a lot of thread movement, once people get a feel for where things go.

Right now, I am watching both forums to see how they may evolve on theri own. I will not be moving anymore threads over unless a poster specifically asks me to. and yes! This has happened. I am willing to return the threads that I moved the other night to the Main Forum at the thread starters request if they didn't have an opportunity to consent to the original move.

You guys have this space and can do what you want with it. Notice, there is no almight sticky or a bazillion rules to follow. Just keep it legal.

Use the forum as you wish or ignore it. It will only be as good as the posters make it.