Thoughts on this poem?

[Guest]

Good one...going for any new records?

 

[Guest]

Hmmmmmmm

Maybe.......

 

[Guest]

Definatley let me know how it goes!!!!

 

[Pure]

TSM,

In case you wanted suggestions

=====
Before I touched you
I painted a picture of you in my mind.
The canvas was as soft
as you.

My lines
Followed your soul's curve.
My brush, fine and light, caressed,
As did my eyes, your perfection.

Image: your flesh seared into my vision,
Your unrivalled portrait, you
Beneath me. Floating,
I painted you with my heart, my flesh.

Touching, my first strokes erratic;
Arousal, jitters, rush--all the colors
Blending. Finally I am painting
You, whom I had come to know,

The only way I can.
We are--one canvas,
One image, two bodies touching,
One ecstatic flesh.

You, my masterpiece.

 

[Guest]

Very nicely done Pure!

Appreciate the suggestion......flows nicely, the imagery is even more captivating and defined.

I like it..........thank you.

I remain,

 

[BethAnne]

Such Romance!

Sandman!

Loved the poem...with or without the revisons, as I'm not a writer.

The intent behind it and the message your words conveyed was pure romance! And she is a very lucky woman...*sigh*

You might even be as romantic as dear DiamondJim! *smile* (That's high praise indeed!)

BethAnne

 

[Guest]

Again.......

Thank you..............

I don't consider myself a poet either...not really. More of a story teller.

But this was easy for me to write. Perhaps it was (far) from perfect, but emotionally, for me at least...it conveyed what I wanted to say.

And "she" is indeed a very special woman...............

I remain,

 

[Guest]

She must be...to write with such passion...