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Tihmmnmmish's Cuddle-Friendly Fireside Threadcast

This came a minute ago: maybe like two sweaters. One is the old one. It is worn and some places are frayed, most would say it looks 'bad' but it is comfortable to wear. The Other is new and others compliment how much better you appear, but, it makes you feel awkward or not real. The compliments might massage the ego but there's always that occasional looking back, missing the old comfortable sweater. Or, maybe you get caught between both? Or, maybe wear the new one a lot, so it can get worn and comfortable. But in that case why not just stay with the original one that was comfortable? Does that make sense?
 
love that word
rhymes with snickers
(the candy bar, not the giggle)
knickers
but it's a word I can't use well.

knickers

see?

bet your knickers...nah, can't do it.

knockers, I can say knockers okay.

you keep your knickers
I'll take the knockers
 
odd or not so odd you strategically place a knackers between your knickers and my knockers. I lifted my face from within the snuggly knockers; a pair of comfy knickers I could see, yet they were far away, a great knacker gulf between us.
 
Afraid no knickers or knockers but until you said I never realised the the significance of the knackers in between ...... naughty boy lol .......hmm one wonders where the rest of the equipment is lodged
 
ahem twas a mere observation (lodged in a lodge, the lodge cornered in a nook neath a mount)
 
As I thought. As usual the quieter inclination was more correct than the louder and seemingly sure. Allowed too many "you shoulds" from too many who intended good to accumulate and create too much weight. It is not they at fault. It is me. For listening. For asking. My own stupidity. Which is vast and deep. But Never Again. Never ever. Go back back back and strip strip strip. If it speaks to just one out of a million, so be it: that is the one it was meant for, at the time. There is no other way. Such a fool I was. Such a fool.
 
Taught to dread the back-click. Bad. No one wants to know they were back-clicked. So the teaching out there is geared to keeping a potential reader from hitting the back-click. Well, I can recall such a thing as books. And, many a book I have 'back-clicked' by closing it, because a) I just couldn't get into it at the time. b) something interrupted me. C) others. Sometimes I'd pick it up again and try to continue. Maybe I was in a better mood, receptivity more open. Or maybe after several tries me and the book were just not hitting it off. But maybe there was yet something that intrigued. Maybe a year later I could pull it back into my lap or get it again from the library, or...? and apparently with the bulk of Lit readers being degreed upper income males, they still have to budget their paper and ink.

Just gotta quit lurking where Real Writers discuss their craft. That's the problem. And it's mine. One of many shackles to yet bust. Someday. Someday.

Thanks.

Don't mind me.

Severe winter conditions have trapped us within close quarters... just another episode. Never mind. :)
 
You're never a fool so don't even think it let alone write it this is a safe place to be and it's nice to know you are around :rose:
 
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Well Annie, I just was outside where truth is brutally cold. Chopped up some wood for the night. A thought that was as true as all of it, and as brutal as all of it, hit me in the head as sure as I struck the ax at the chunks of wood: we can't go back. Can't do it. I could spin off a thousand posts here about how I'd do it different if I could go back to the start, knowing what I know now. But that's impossible. Can't do it. Any attempt to try it will be as fake as what appears to be fake now. There is only forward. That's the only direction to go. And we can't escape influences either. As romantic a notion it is, I don't think anyone can express pure self. Anything they express will contain pieces and particles and substance from the people and places and minds they came into contact with. That's just the way it is.

So if it is, then... then what? That makes us all pussies? Hard to think about, especially a guy. Looking like a pussy, much less being one. A pussy walking around, agape to accept seeds. And I know when I first entered this Lit environment I looked like a pussy. And was used like one. I just didn't know any better. Accepted all the seeds. Bore many offspring driven by bad seed. I'm certain more are on the way, bad ones, but maybe it must play out this way a little longer and then the offspring born of better seed can begin coming along.
 
please excuse me whilst i waffle a little...

part of one's Whole Package is made up of little bits of you, of those around you, of places you know and places you'd like to know.

there is no stopping the outside world from entering into your life, unless you'd like to sit yourself in a box without food and drink for whatever would be the rest of your life. stagnant. un-alive. life-less.

the things that make up your Whole Package should be allowed to seep through into your offspring.

you've been outside, just now. chopped wood. you've watched splinters fall away, watched the sharp edge of the axe ram its way through the wood. you've smelt the fresh wooden flesh, and sweated and carried in your efforts.

all those things have just added to your Whole Package, another dimension, or if you will, a part of a dimension that makes up part of who you are. without that wood chopping experience you would be lesser than what you now are. you've never quite cut the wood in the exact same way you did today, never quite carried the pieces exactly the same. each experience is different. and you've experienced it differently to how i might have experienced it... therefore your experience is unique and as you have a unique experience, you can talk about it in your own way, using your own voice. and in the process, you will probably 'influence' another to look differently at how they've just completed some otherwise mundane task.

being open to accept seeds is being open to growth.
'rose'
 
Your flavor reminds me of what I remember of Bergson's Creative Evolution which was a life-changing read itself. A resonant philosophy that seems to call for renewal every few months. Because it's so true its quiet nature gets lost in more prevalent and cocksure untruths?
 
I'm a firm believer of things being meant to be which on the whole of it sometimes has some pretty shitty phases but if I hadn't had that shittiness thrown at me then I would have reacted differently and never met the faboulous man that loves me. What you wished for years ago that never came true wasn't meant to be and looking back on it you are probably jolly glad now that it didn't. I know my way of thinking has some very shaky reasoning behind it when you look at the world as a whole but we just have to go on living it the best we can holding those that matter to us close and guess what it's me that's waffling now! I haven't got big words to express philosophy but no-one will knock out of me the love I have to give ...... many have tried but it's still there it flickers sometimes but the flame doesn't go out . Each of us has their own flame and it often lights someone elses path for a while when they need it ...... well anyway that's the way I look at it.
 
hmmnmm said:
Your flavor reminds me of what I remember of Bergson's Creative Evolution which was a life-changing read itself. A resonant philosophy that seems to call for renewal every few months. Because it's so true its quiet nature gets lost in more prevalent and cocksure untruths?
Click to expand...

i think perhaps those 'cocksure untruths' make the most noise and it is often an easier path to believe them. it takes hard work to be a companion of truth to others and self, and not all have the ability. but the best part is, the ability is there as a choice for us.

i believe that when i am worn to a frazzle with writing rubbish, that then is the time for me to go out into the world and be open again to all that is around me. i soak it up, everything that exists, everything that moves and everything that doesn't. it fills me up and therefore i have something which i can again pour out. my up and down used to be very defined, now, mostly, it is more level... i sometimes can do both at the same time but need to make sure i get that 'fill up' time because it can quickly become lost among the noise of Life.

UnderYourSpell said:
I'm a firm believer of things being meant to be which on the whole of it sometimes has some pretty shitty phases but if I hadn't had that shittiness thrown at me then I would have reacted differently and never met the faboulous man that loves me. What you wished for years ago that never came true wasn't meant to be and looking back on it you are probably jolly glad now that it didn't. I know my way of thinking has some very shaky reasoning behind it when you look at the world as a whole but we just have to go on living it the best we can holding those that matter to us close and guess what it's me that's waffling now! I haven't got big words to express philosophy but no-one will knock out of me the love I have to give ...... many have tried but it's still there it flickers sometimes but the flame doesn't go out . Each of us has their own flame and it often lights someone elses path for a while when they need it ...... well anyway that's the way I look at it.
Click to expand...
you said it beautifully, and i love your last comment. simply very lovely and loving. :rose:
 
These waffles are yummy. More? With extra butter? Ain't too proud to beg...
 
I keep meaning to tack a note on the wall that says something like Are You Having Fun? In fact I'll do that now... done. Great idea. I think it'll help. 'Cuz really, if you're not having as much fun as possible when you could be, what's the point? Right?
 
wildsweetone said:
i think perhaps those 'cocksure untruths' make the most noise and it is often an easier path to believe them. it takes hard work to be a companion of truth to others and self, and not all have the ability. but the best part is, the ability is there as a choice for us.

i believe that when i am worn to a frazzle with writing rubbish, that then is the time for me to go out into the world and be open again to all that is around me. i soak it up, everything that exists, everything that moves and everything that doesn't. it fills me up and therefore i have something which i can again pour out. my up and down used to be very defined, now, mostly, it is more level... i sometimes can do both at the same time but need to make sure i get that 'fill up' time because it can quickly become lost among the noise of Life.


you said it beautifully, and i love your last comment. simply very lovely and loving. :rose:
Click to expand...

Thankyou so much I am glad you understood what I was trying to say ! Nice here innit?
 
So another drama-filled day of miniature freakouts concludes. All did appear futile for more than several precious moments. No lie denial there. In the initial stages I did worry that I'd traipsed poisons into this place, desecrated it. But as it turned out, minds and souls and hands gifted in healing and arts of calm came along and with gentle voices relighted an easy and natural way to see and go. All was made much better before bedtime.

But another question wants to get a headstart on tomorrow: If, when we sometimes try too hard to write good poetry or prose, but it comes out bad, if we tried really hard to write bad poetry and prose, would it come out not too bad? Or even a little bit good?

Another exercise to procrastinate.

Thank you and goodnight. And I'll try to keep the poisons out tomorrow.

Sweet dreams all.
 
We can't go back. That's true. But if issues linger that are yet causing effect, unnecessary internal conflict; detrimentally distractive little shackles... then the one in pain and who may be inflicting undue pain on others ought to try anything that comes to mind, so the pains might cease.

So I thought of doing this, purely for my own therapeutic sake. Not asking anyone to read this; I just get the feeling it must be done publicly just... just because.

What I want to do is offer a very belated response, and in the way I should have responded to that very first rasp of angry criticism on my very first ever Lit submission, back in December 2004. It wasn't anonymous. But I didn't catch the user name and I don't remember it now. The brunt of their comment was that my submission was 'not erotic' and it was a 'waste of their time' to read it.

My response at the time was to run to the AH and seek emergency help. People with good hearts then generously lent their words of advice. I then set out in the labor to try and somehow produce work that utilized what, from the greatest depths of good intentions, I was given.

There was never a real recovery from that feeling of being pushed into the corner (as opposed to me choosing to chill out in a comfortable corner). I allowed those experiences to plant within my susceptible mind the belief that I was not a good writer at all, and would never produce anything whether poetic or prose or between that I could say, 'yeah that's mine' and not immediately call attention to the numerous flaws it must inherently contain because since it came from me it had to inherit my flaws, which are equally numerous.

Anyway, I would like to now respond as I should have responded back in December 2004.

To the commenter who did not find my first short Lit submission erotic and felt it was a waste of their time: That's more your problem than mine. Note the name claiming authorship, so you'll know to not read subsequent submissions from that same author. Thank you and have nice day.

To those who, back in my early Lit days so kindly offered words of advice and wisdom: Thank you so much, because you could have done something else with your time. I appreciate it. Really really do. :rose:You seem like really cool people. But, I was in the middle of a panic attack, because of mismanaged reaction to a criticism that revealed a reader and I would not be compatible. I shouldn't have bugged you guys. Let me back out, let's try and forget I even asked; I think I'd do better if I just observed, skim over some of your stuff, see how you do what I want to do. But overall I just need to figure it out on my own, and make plenty of my own mistakes and post plenty of stories and poems of varying qualities; poems and stories that may or may not appeal to few or too many. A long and sometimes painful process, but that's how it must be.

And... wow... that feels good. I feel good. Wow. Like a nagging splinter finally fell out, or a manacle just fell off.

I thank the admins and mods for allowing this space to get this off my chest.

I do sincerely wish all cheer and joy and happiness for these holidays and beyond.

Gonna go and bask in this good feeling of release. Be back sometime between the next hour and tomorrow's Review.
 
You have inspired me to write a letter in the Dear X thread that I hope will have the same cathartic effect ..... a letter that cannot never be sent but oh how I wish it could
 
Well Annie I've sure felt a lot better today. It's like a hidden pocket where fears festered, and I finally sniffed 'em out and evicted them. They'll certainly try to come back, because they've been cozy in there for so long. But at least for now, today, tonight, I fear no one. It doesn't get any better than that. :heart:
 
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