Tihmmnmmish's Very Laid-Back Summery Poolside Threadcast

[UnderYourSpell]

I can spin a fine tale very imaginative and erotic but putting in characters that actually speak and need the proper punctuation marks is a pain. I've got one story on here with help from a great editor for the dreaded narratives and actually I only wrote it because several other people kept saying they were going to then never getting round to it. The story went up in episodes on the Bijou thread!

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Opinions needed
Where would you put a poem about orgasm that doesn't even actually mention the fact? erotic or non erotic?

 

[EroticOrogeny]

Opinions needed
Where would you put a poem about orgasm that doesn't even actually mention the fact? erotic or non erotic?

I'd be inclined towards erotic, unless highly clinical.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

I'd be inclined towards erotic, unless highly clinical.

No not clinical lol *giggles*

 

[hmmnmm]

stethoscope action?
cool stethoscope?

 

[hmmnmm]

So this couple's on the way to the beach. They fell into somewhat illicit relations, which the guy is trying to sever which the girl is not too happy about. They're going to the beach for one last big shebang. So they say. So he says. Anyway, suddenly, he sees something off the road and stops. It's a billboard advertising home-cooked meals in a small town nearby. The guy's into old stuff, old magazines, and the billboard's art design is reminiscent of some of that stuff. Now the girl isn't interested, but the guy insists they go check it out, promising they'll get back on the road in time to get to the beach before nightfall. Well, they go down that sideroad and stop across from the billboard for a quick one. They do it against the car's fender. It's a quick one. They hear strange sounds, like silverware and voices. Then they're looking at the billboard and thinking it didn't look so colorful and new as before. They look away, then back to the billboard and the scene's changed. They get the funny feeling they maybe should get back on their way to the beach. But of course the car doesn't start right away. Meanwhile, the billboard keeps changing, a man is fucking the waitress in the billboard and in her hand is a pie with goop spilling out over the plate and she's looking straight into the car, asking if they want some pie; finally the car starts but the road has turned to liquid like a river of watery pudding or something. She tries to warn him not to cut to the right, but he's in a panic and not listening; suddenly, a hand jumps out from the liquified road and tries to climb up the passenger side's door. More words from the billboard and the guys fucking the waitress wears a scrunched up face that shows he's cumming. Suddenly the guy in the car realizes what's happening, and jumps out, tries to take his girl's hand, but the car has lurched into the muddied road/river bank and a current yanks the car into the liquid road, and a bunch of hands crawl into the car as it is carried down the liquid road. The guy starts to chase after the car but quickly realizes the road has returned to solidity and his car and his girl are gone. He passes out. Wakes up later and has no idea where or who he is.

 

[bflagsst]

I dreamt I saw St. Augustine.

I can't do the grammar thing either, or write those pseudo-erotic stories that people want to read. I posted one that's not really sexual at all, the last scene is supposed to be the sex, but it's really not supposed to be erotic at all. Just threw sex descriptions out there because that's what happens in a sex story. I actually included a poem in it, I sort of just posted the story so more people would read the poem than if I posted it under poems. It was just a little poem, but it's an idea, posting a real good poem in an erotic story that people want to read. That's how you get someone to read your poems! Quick, someone who writes good erotic stories let me tag a poem in the middle of it, I'll be your best friend.

People will be less pissed about having to read a poem or two if they can get off at the same time. EPMD, Ladynst? You two write stories that people read, let me stick a poem in next time? haha. I'm only half-kidding.

 

[hmmnmm]

I dreamt I saw St. Augustine.

I can't do the grammar thing either, or write those pseudo-erotic stories that people want to read. I posted one that's not really sexual at all, the last scene is supposed to be the sex, but it's really not supposed to be erotic at all. Just threw sex descriptions out there because that's what happens in a sex story. I actually included a poem in it, I sort of just posted the story so more people would read the poem than if I posted it under poems. It was just a little poem, but it's an idea, posting a real good poem in an erotic story that people want to read. That's how you get someone to read your poems! Quick, someone who writes good erotic stories let me tag a poem in the middle of it, I'll be your best friend.

People will be less pissed about having to read a poem or two if they can get off at the same time. EPMD, Ladynst? You two write stories that people read, let me stick a poem in next time? haha. I'm only half-kidding.

I like the mixing it up idea. Really do. Thought about trying a sort of series, except broken up into chapters told in prose and then a few short sections of poetry, then continuing it with prose. But I didn't think about mixing them up in the same work. But that's a good idea.

I've also come to a similar conclusion: just not cut out to write the 'pseudo-erotic' or what will appeal to people whose minds are set up with certain expectations. Got their pants down and their hands ready to go to work... but wait... what's all this rambling shit. I've sometimes taken a few steps in the 'pseudo-erotic' vein, but even then the results weren't much better and I never felt really comfortable, felt fake; then I'd find something I did long before getting bit with the erotic/lit bug and realize I'd really strayed from what I deep down or not so deep down find more interesting, erotica being inclusive but not at all exclusive.

So then if I go back and do it the way I like and submit some of the sketchy results as story on lit, and turn the voting on, it's just gonna get ones and twos and boos. And it always does happen that way. So then you wonder why you continue to do what you know will fail rather than try to learn what will increase crowd-pleaser chances of success. And I don't have that answer. Nuts or hope or both?

 

[hmmnmm]

When I first began testing out what I thought was erotic prose someone very wise said I would have to work really hard to make it more clearly understandable. They were right. No quibble about that. Then I realized, the idea behind that is an assumption that the reader shouldn't have to work too hard. So then I think of myself as a reader. There's times I don't want to work to understand but other times I don't want it too easy. I think of the cases where I just want the info without the cuteness and the cases where I didn't want the straight info, because I wanted the freedom to muse on what the hell the writer's trying to say. I think what's happened is an assumption that all people who read anything always want just the straight info, so all writers should seek to write in ways that deliver the straight up bits of info, because nobody ever wants to really work when they read anything. And for the internet that's probably largely true. Almost an always. Which again brings us to ask: if you're not gonna strive to write in internet-friendly style, why continue to write the way you like to write and expect any good return by putting that writing on any internet venue? Good question. Don't know.

 

[LadynStFreknBed]

Well, you'd be welcome to add a poem to one of my stories, except that I participate in the regular Survivor contest. Some people are uberparanoid about cheating in the contest. They'd probably say it was cheating to include a poem I didn't write.

Like I've told hmmnmmish, people who read stories on Lit know what they want. They want to get off. They don't want to have to think. They don't want to decipher or contemplate. Hmmnmmish, your stories are excellent and even poetic, which is why I would think that you don't get more H's. The quality of your work is too high.

 

[hmmnmm]

Well Sheila, fr'instance: that big thing I put up there above: that's the gist of something put up here recently. I've had other versions of it. It's when they take the turnoff, decide to check out that diner. There's just no end to the possibilities from that point. I happened to think that this one, the one with the talking billboard and the sex going on in the billboard and the road turning to liquid with hands crawling out of it and the liquid road taking the car away, etc....

Now, in my admittedly humdrum world, that's quite a lot happening. But I get a review that says nothing happened in this story. So now I'm scratching my head.

There's another where a naughty sexpot niece comes to stay with her aunt and uncle.... he finds all her sex toys, including a pair of panties wadded around a pair of benwa balls. He watches her lead his wife into lesbian love, until he's told he can't watch, so he goes to another room but he can still hear them... a few other things... again, to me, I'd say that's a little tension going on. Conflict. But somebody says I went on and on without anything happening. Now I'm doing Lewis Black impersonations, you know how he flaps his hands around his face, like he thinks he's supposed to be understanding something simple but he can't, and he's shamelessly begging for someone to help him see what he's missing.

Apparently I just can't do it. Can't write what they want. And I say this not with any malice, but with a chuckle of resignation. Maybe just do poetry on Lit and prose on a blog or something...

 

[Epmd607]

We tend to talk down about the readers of prose on the other side of the site, but some of the best written stories I've seen have received the highest votes.

My prime example is VarianP:

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=358431

I don't know that there's a better written story on this site. Take out the incest, it's basically an advanced draft of a quality novella.

Poems mid-story? We'll work on that, I think I know how to get the cheap reads, I'll write something passable and we'll stick three or four bflag poems in it. I'm already laughing. No problem, it'll be an experiment, don't tell anyone else about it...

 

[hmmnmm]

Ah! I think an answer has come. The difference is: sex story vs rambling story/prose that may or may not include sex acts. The first is the preferred. The latter is not. Do I get a cookie?

Cuz to me, sex is just one of innumerable experiences you can subject any given character to. That's the whole point. Someone in a world they know or think they know, is confronted with something that is foreign to that comfortable world or what they know or think they know, about themselves, about their world. Now, it's quite possible that what I attempt to present (include the poetry in here too) is deficient. Wouldn't argue with that. Not at all. That's part of the challenge, and the appeal. It is the challenge and the appeal. But I think I'd rather invest time into those failures than into sex stories.

Well. Could ramble on but better go and do or pretend to do something.

This is the sweetest summer ever. Cherry.

 

[bflagsst]

We tend to talk down about the readers of prose on the other side of the site, but some of the best written stories I've seen have received the highest votes.

My prime example is VarianP:

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=358431

I don't know that there's a better written story on this site. Take out the incest, it's basically an advanced draft of a quality novella.

Poems mid-story? We'll work on that, I think I know how to get the cheap reads, I'll write something passable and we'll stick three or four bflag poems in it. I'm already laughing. No problem, it'll be an experiment, don't tell anyone else about it...

get on it, soldier-medic

 

[bflagsst]

Ah! I think an answer has come. The difference is: sex story vs rambling story/prose that may or may not include sex acts. The first is the preferred. The latter is not. Do I get a cookie?

Cuz to me, sex is just one of innumerable experiences you can subject any given character to. That's the whole point. Someone in a world they know or think they know, is confronted with something that is foreign to that comfortable world or what they know or think they know, about themselves, about their world. Now, it's quite possible that what I attempt to present (include the poetry in here too) is deficient. Wouldn't argue with that. Not at all. That's part of the challenge, and the appeal. It is the challenge and the appeal. But I think I'd rather invest time into those failures than into sex stories.

Well. Could ramble on but better go and do or pretend to do something.

This is the sweetest summer ever. Cherry.

Yeah, there's gotta be full on erotic lean from the get go to be popular. It can't just start out as some regular story, there's gotta be a mention of someone tenting in their shorts at the idea of this or that, or someone leaking thru their panties at the thought of so and so, or it aint gonna get off the ground.

Speaking of this summer, it seems like it's lasting forever. Reminiscent of the epic summers of childhood, so many adventures. Poems have appeared on finger-tips too.

 

[hmmnmm]

Yeah, there's gotta be full on erotic lean from the get go to be popular. It can't just start out as some regular story, there's gotta be a mention of someone tenting in their shorts at the idea of this or that, or someone leaking thru their panties at the thought of so and so, or it aint gonna get off the ground.

Speaking of this summer, it seems like it's lasting forever. Reminiscent of the epic summers of childhood, so many adventures. Poems have appeared on finger-tips too.

ahhh, oookay, I see, nod nod nod, yes yes yes

Hey I appreciate everybody putting up with all this.

So: the tent or the leak. Go from there to the insertion and the climax. Right? And no deviation on the way? Right? Once the tent pops up, the story is to be driven to the tent's satisfaction. No pulling back or taking a short turnoff. The tiniest superfluous detail that even tempts detraction treads peril for the story's survival. Do I have a grip now?

If so then it's certain I'll never write a successful story. And good-natured laughter spills from me as I say that. It's a relief to know. It's okay.

Wow, like a mystery that's stretched on for nearly five years, finally solved.

Can go back to having fun with it, all of it.

This message board is a completely inadequate way to begin to express my deep felt gratitude for your patience.

Thank you.

 

[hmmnmm]

Just heard about Les Paul

 

[bflagsst]

I've played guitar since I was fifteen, don't think I've ever actually played a les paul model in gibson, epiphone, or knock off form. Held a few in my hands to feel the weight, but an SG is the closest I've come to les paul, don't think he designed that though. Reminds me, I want to sell my guitars.

 

[hmmnmm]

Had an Ibanez Les Paul way back when they just made copies. Would love to have it now. Love the SG. Would love a couple of those. Would love to have couple of all of them. I love them all. Man, if I had a bunch of guitars and recording equipment... probably never worry about writing anything again. I have a mexico Strat. It ain't bad. Strats are nice. Got the humbuckers at the bridge. Gives it a little crunchy option. I love guitars. And sounds. But yeah, guitars... I love guitars. Should spend more time with this one. Always something new to explore or practice, or love. I love guitars.

 

[bflagsst]

guitars. I actually have a Jimmie Vaughan Sig Strat, which is a mexi strat by any other name. Used to have an american 60s strat, sold that so I could buy this martin acoustic, it's one of the smaller ones, my favorite guitar ever. I owned epiphone SG's and all the usual strat copies when I was in high school. I actually own an 8-track analog recorder that I got off ebay to record some songs. Rare item, they don't make analog anything anymore. I wanna sell all my stuff, amps and all that, accept my martin.

You might not believe it, cuz this is the internet, but I bought a sitar from Mumbai india when I was in college. Don't know how to tune or play it, can make some interesting sounds come out of it though. It's the sort of thing where I broke some sympathetic strings and have no clue how to get new ones and then re-string. It'll end up being some sort of ornament, something curious in my house on display as opposed to a tool for creation.

 

[hmmnmm]

Had a 1959 D-28 stolen in '89. It was a bad day. I got physically ill. A local club owner donated his Alvarez he never played on the condition that I'd play it, which I did, and I still have it. It's had some problems lately but I think it's fixable. It's got a nice sound and feel actually. Not the boomy oomphy orchestral depth of a martin, but I like it a lot. I love analog too. That'd be great... I do have a digital 8-track, built in drums and effects... all that plus a cheap china bass... it's loads of fun to try to come up with something. About the same as writing actually, just mess around see what develops. Lots of times nothing but sometimes something. But yeah it'd be sweet to have an array of different strings and real drums to bang on too. If I had dough I'd definitely make you an offer. But I got what I got and sometimes there's beauty in working within limitations. Someday win the lottery. Yeah.

Now I'm gettin fired up.

 

[bflagsst]

My buddy leaves all his recording equipment at my house so I've the typical digital 8-track and all the special stuff around too. But I usually prefer hitting record and watching tape turn. Since analog is supposedly making a comeback, I'm thinking I'll eventually be able to get twice what I paid. It's not quite the pro level stuff, the big fat magnetic tape heads that indie dudes with some cash use for analog in small studios. Even if I had all that I'd still probably record on my computer mic instead of setting it all up to record some joke song. Two of my best friends are in touring bands, making records like it's 1999, I lost interest in that stuff when I was still in high school. I'm still trying to get one of them to record a record of songs we did, maybe someday he'll get around to it and I'll have something to show for all the time I wasted in high school playing guitar instead of trying to touch as many girl butts as possible.

One of my songs is on my literotica profile, a poetry with audio. It was one of the first songs I ever wrote all by myself.

 

[hmmnmm]

I tried a few audios. Didn't sing. Just spoke. It was kinda fun. Actually it was lots of fun. But pretty tricky trying to balance between music and voice, it was like the words were obligatory just to try some audios, never were the right words. I wouldn't have the nerve to sing on a lit audio submission. Doing it spoken was scary enough. Hats off to you.

And the analog/digital. Again, I like it all. Would like to have it all. Just for the options. Ordered a four track tascam cassette recorder last year, but it fucked up pretty quick. But I found out it kinda works as little mixer or preamp or something. Haven't played with that in awhile.

Possibilities vs Limitations

Find the possibilities within the limitations?

Now you got me interested in the audio world again.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

I can sing ..... in tune too!

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Tomorrow night I must put on a brave face and take my still unhealed body to a suprise anniversary party for my sister-in-law and her husband. The place will be filled with my husbands relatives (believe you me there are hundreds of them, being a very prolific cross between the east end of London and Irish!) Some I have met before those coming over especially from Ireland I have not. My husbands ex-wife and his children will be there. I will smile sweetly and chat nicely to everyone and tell them how I nearly died in May whilst trying not to fall asleep from exhaustion. I feel tired already just thinking about it.