Tips and Constructive Criticism

[Euphony]

I was with the OP on the first couple of paragraphs, although we could of course debate the merits of 3rd person VS 1st person all day.

My qualm was always with the absolutism. As it grew out of control, the (well covered in the AH before) merits drowned in those seas.

And 1st v. 3rd is very situational. Better stated would have been that adding deeper context rarely goes amiss and POV choice can help in that endeavor.

Plenty of authors write shit 3rd and are naturally more capable in giving that context in their more natural 1st.

Then it got to the list of personal demands.

Live the life of a thug - until the day I die
Live the life of a boss player 'cause even gettin' high

And the snarky reply with the unfunny insult he felt compelled to repeat twice.

Missed it by *that* much.

Now I'm just here for the comments.

Comedy heals.

And as usual, my friends, you do not disappoint.

How else are we to cope? Srsly?

 

[Euphony]

Hey, we've got a standard to keep up.

You must be *THIS* snarky to ride this ride?

 

[Djmac1031]

I can already see our next Authors 750 Word Story Challenge:

"Write a 750 word Mother / Son incest story that meets Slickerz EXACT demands."

 

[Euphony]

I can already see our next Authors 750 Word Story Challenge:

"Write a 750 word Mother / Son incest story that meets Slickerz EXACT demands."

I'm titling mine "NOES Butt Stuff."

I've already won.

 

[Djmac1031]

Billy woke up one morning to find his mom in the kitchen, making pancakes. An absolutely normal, every day thing any family would do.

Mom looked pretty hot in her flannel PJs.

Billy, felt awkward about his erection. He knew a son shouldn't be aroused by his own mother. It broke every societal rule, of course.

But damn if her ass didn't look good in those flannels.

He would never fuck her in the ass, of course. Nothing erotic about that.

He did, however, sneak up behind her and press his erection into her.

Mom gasped in surprise and shock. It was so wrong for her own son to be doing this! What would the neighbors think if they saw through the window?

Still, the feel of her son's manhood pressed up against her made her oh so wet.

Mom reached around, groping his cock. "Would you like Mother to take care of this for you, Son?"

"Yes, Mom," Billy, her son, gasped.

Mom turned an dropped to her knees before her son.

Mom quickly pulled her son's cock from his shorts.

Mom sucked her son's cock eagerly, despite her reservations and concerns about how society as a whole would view such a taboo, incestuous act.

Soon they were fucking on the kitchen floor.

But don't worry, Billy, the son, never reamed Moms butt.

"I love you, Son," said Mom.

"I love you too, Mom," replied Billy, her son.

THE END.

(Did I meet all the requirements?)

 

[Voboy]

Billy woke up one morning to find his mom in the kitchen, making pancakes. An absolutely normal, every day thing any family would do.

Mom looked pretty hot in her flannel PJs.

Billy, felt awkward about his erection. He knew a son shouldn't be aroused by his own mother. It broke every societal rule, of course.

But damn if her ass didn't look good in those flannels.

He would never fuck her in the ass, of course. Nothing erotic about that.

He did, however, sneak up behind her and press his erection into her.

Mom gasped in surprise and shock. It was so wrong for her own son to be doing this! What would the neighbors think if they saw through the window?

Still, the feel of her son's manhood pressed up against her made her oh so wet.

Mom reached around, groping his cock. "Would you like Mother to take care of this for you, Son?"

"Yes, Mom," Billy, her son, gasped.

Mom turned an dropped to her knees before her son.

Mom quickly pulled her son's cock from his shorts.

Mom sucked her son's cock eagerly, despite her reservations and concerns about how society as a whole would view such a taboo, incestuous act.

Soon they were fucking on the kitchen floor.

But don't worry, Billy, the son, never reamed Moms butt.

"I love you, Son," said Mom.

"I love you too, Mom," replied Billy, her son.

THE END.

(Did I meet all the requirements?)

Sorry.

Just 4*.

For me, there wasn't enough foreplay. Work on that next time, mmkay?

 

[Djmac1031]

Sorry.

Just 4*.

For me, there wasn't enough foreplay. Work on that next time, mmkay?

Sorry, but I didn't wanna go from one sex act to another like there was nothing else important in life.

Besides, the pancakes were burning and Mom had to get them off the stove.

(It was implied )

 

[Euphony]

Sorry, but I didn't wanna go from one sex act to another like there was nothing else important in life.

Besides, the pancakes were burning and Mom had to get them off the stove.

(It was implied )

Good, not great.

I felt the NO butt stuff could have been clearer.

Is it narratively possible she has no butt?

And car accident forcing an full posterior amputation perhaps?

I mean, we need to be 100 that it won't happen, that it physically CAN'T happen.

Our responsibility to reader fragility demands it.

 

[Djmac1031]

Good, not great.

I felt the NO butt stuff could have been clearer.

Is it narratively possible she has no butt?

And car accident forcing an full posterior amputation perhaps?

I mean, we need to be 100 that it won't happen, that it physically CAN'T happen.

Our responsibility to reader fragility demands it.

You're right of course.

Billy (her son, in case that wasn't made clear) should never even have been looking at Mom's ass, let alone aroused by it.

I have failed miserably.

I am filled with shame.

 

[onehitwanda]

Holy shit, is this train wreck still going?

 

[Euphony]

Holy shit, is this train wreck still going?

I blame the caboose.

 

[Djmac1031]

Holy shit, is this train wreck still going?

My fault. I tried to write a story that met the OPs standards and failed miserably.

I'll turn in my authors card now.

 

[onehitwanda]

I blame the caboose.

the moose you say?

 

[onehitwanda]

My fault. I tried to write a story that met the OPs standards and failed miserably.

I'll turn in my authors card now.

Boo. Hiss. Down with this sort of thing!

 

[Djmac1031]

the moose you say?

A moose once bit my sister...

 

[onehitwanda]

A moose once bit my sister...

In a caboose? Sounds incestuous.

 

[Djmac1031]

In a caboose? Sounds incestuous.

No realli! She was Karving her initials on the moose with the sharpened end of an interspace toothbrush given her by Svenge—her brother-in-law— an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian movies: "The Hot Hands of an Oslo Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge Molars of Horst Nordfink"...
Mynd you, moose bites Kan be pretti nasti...

 

[onehitwanda]

No realli! She was Karving her initials on the moose with the sharpened end of an interspace toothbrush given her by Svenge—her brother-in-law— an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian movies: "The Hot Hands of an Oslo Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge Molars of Horst Nordfink"...
Mynd you, moose bites Kan be pretti nasti...

 

[Djmac1031]

Sorry. In case it's not clear, I totally cribbed that from Monty Pythons Holy Grail opening credits.

 

[onehitwanda]

Sorry. In case it's not clear, I totally cribbed that from Monty Pythons Holy Grail opening credits.

Why do you think I channeled Wednesday Addams? She came on board to fire the people responsible for the credits.

 

[MajorRewrite]

A moose once bit my sister...

But it didn’t butt fuck her. Animals have respect.

 

[onehitwanda]

But it didn’t butt fuck her. Animals have respect.

Well, this thread took a kinky turn.

 

[Euphony]

Why do you think I channeled Wednesday Addams? She came on board to fire the people responsible for the credits.

Definitely fire those guys and only those guys.

 

[Djmac1031]

But it didn’t butt fuck her. Animals have respect.

We can't do beastiality here.

It would have to be a fictional moose. Maybe one with wings or something.

A Pegamoose?

 

[onehitwanda]

We can't do beastiality here.

It would have to be a fictional moose. Maybe one with wings or something.

A Pegamoose?

That's a pretty sus moose. A pega-sus, if you will. Or a pegger-sus, if he's into horse-play...

Oh my god what am I doing.