Title and Description

[Bramblethorn]

In titling stories, I mostly go for "provoke curiosity" over "tell them the plot".

For stories that are aiming for an established fetish, there's a lot to be said for acknowledging that fetish right there in the title. Latex, hucow, first time, exhibitionism, etc. - there's a significant number of people looking for stories on each of those topics. If I'm writing a story that's all about foot fetishism and dominance, a title like "Under Her Heel" helps the fans of those topics find it.

My stories have elements of various fetishes but they're generally not focussed enough on one specific fetish that I would want to advertise them on that. If I use "Under Her Heel" on a three-page story with just half a page of foot fetish material, I'm going to draw in a bunch of foot-fetish readers who'll be disappointed when they find that most of it is nothing to do with foot fetish, and I'll scare off a bunch of people who aren't hugely interested in foot fetish but might enjoy other things about the story.

My target audience is usually more like "people who are open to being surprised", so a title that encourages curiosity seems like my best option there. "Anjali's Red Scarf", "Magnum Innominandum", "Riddle of the Copper Coin", none of those are intended to tell people what kind of sex acts are involved, because that'd be a misleading focus.

Where I do suck, really really suck, is in the blurbing. That usually happens right at the end when I'm tired of writing and just want to get the bloody thing posted, and I struggle to summarise stuff at the best of times. So I end up with stuff like "Yvonne meets Phoebe's mother" (not in any kind of incestual way) which, unless you already know who those people are, probably isn't much of a draw. I don't think most of my stories are particularly well suited to being summarised in a blurb but I'm sure I could do better than I do.

Certainly isn't a Bad title. Into the Woods is a 1987 Broadway Musical smash hit that had a long run and a revival run in 2023. It is also a motion picture of the same name (and based on the play). Stephen Sondheim wrote the music and lyrics, and James Lapine wrote the book. It's not bad, UDERSTATEMENT. I've seen it on stage, on Broadway. It's a fantastic musical and a wonderful title. If the story is a fairy tale, fractured or otherwise, it's a perfect title.

I don't think "Into the Woods" was a bad story title - I've read that one and "into the woods" is the point of the story - but I wouldn't assume that what works for a musical will work for a Lit story. Lit stories have much less PR presence than a musical so the title needs to carry more.

I never had to wonder who Miserable Les was, because there were posters everywhere with people in historical costume on barricades, "Castle on a Cloud" being played by every fucking busker that walked the earth, etc. etc. For a Literotica story we don't have all that. The title and the blurb between them need to do almost all the work of attracting a would-be reader, at least until the point where we can build up a following who are willing to go "I liked their previous work so I'll click on this one no matter what the title".

 

[pink_silk_glove]

In titling stories, I mostly go for "provoke curiosity" over "tell them the plot".

For stories that are aiming for an established fetish, there's a lot to be said for acknowledging that fetish right there in the title. Latex, hucow, first time, exhibitionism, etc. - there's a significant number of people looking for stories on each of those topics. If I'm writing a story that's all about foot fetishism and dominance, a title like "Under Her Heel" helps the fans of those topics find it.

This is a great point. I think that Simon's advice about give serious work a serious title, give stroke pieces direct titles applies here. I have to say Simon probably has titling down better than anyone that I can think of here. He gets it. You want to talk about your story but you also want to get attention, but then at the same time you don't want to be a douche to your readers by misleading them.

If you're writing a 3-8k stroker, be direct. 'Mom shags Son' or 'Alien Girls Give Good Head', etc. Or at least be direct in the description. Tell the strokers what they're about to stroke to. Don't be vague with them. Don't waste characters with nuance.

With stories containing deeper plot, character development, perhaps longer with multiple sex scenes and multiple kinks, then be more arty, more metaphoric, but still give some sort of definite idea of what the reader is in for, somewhere in that title or description. Plot readers tend to be more receptive to that.

My target audience is usually more like "people who are open to being surprised", so a title that encourages curiosity seems like my best option there. "Anjali's Red Scarf", "Magnum Innominandum", "Riddle of the Copper Coin", none of those are intended to tell people what kind of sex acts are involved, because that'd be a misleading focus.

I'm glad that you brought this up, 'surprise'. Personally I don't like giving spoilers in my descriptions. I'm not saying that you should never spoil. In a one-shot stroke scene, how can you not give some sort of spoiler in the description without being abominably vague and boring? But on a deeper plot story, the reader is looking for plot and that plot shouldn't be spoiled. Perhaps just detail the setup or if you must spoil something make it something in the first act. This is something that I struggle with personally, trying to write a good description without spoiling. For me, the whole point of enjoying reading a plot as it unfolds is that I don't know where it's going or where it will turn next. Spoilers ruin that.

Where I do suck, really really suck, is in the blurbing.

What I have started to do is during the writing process, at some point I will reflect on possible categories and possible descriptions. I now put the story description right at the top of my file, so that I don't forget to edit and proof it just like everything else in the story. This also means that by the time that I finish the story, the description is also finished and I don't have to whip one up last minute.

 

[Helgamite]

Silkstockingslover often uses highly titillating titles for her stories.

oh god does she ever!!! especially with her Illustrated stories too!

 

[Bramblethorn]

I'm glad that you brought this up, 'surprise'. Personally I don't like giving spoilers in my descriptions. I'm not saying that you should never spoil. In a one-shot stroke scene, how can you not give some sort of spoiler in the description without being abominably vague and boring? But on a deeper plot story, the reader is looking for plot and that plot shouldn't be spoiled. Perhaps just detail the setup or if you must spoil something make it something in the first act. This is something that I struggle with personally, trying to write a good description without spoiling. For me, the whole point of enjoying reading a plot as it unfolds is that I don't know where it's going or where it will turn next. Spoilers ruin that.

I think most readers want some kind of "rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty" (thanks, Douglas Adams). They don't want a story to be so predictable it loses all mystery, but they don't want to be surprised by stuff they don't like, so the trick is to figure out what should and shouldn't be spoiled. That mostly comes down to familiarity with the category/genre and a great deal of judgement.

 

[Djmac1031]

But on a deeper plot story, the reader is looking for plot and that plot shouldn't be spoiled.

Again I had to deal with this issue with my story, Riders On The Storm.

I had two major plot elements I didn't want to spoil. For the purposes of this conversation, I'll have to, obviously.

Plot point 1 was the main male character/ narrator who we're initially led to believe is a well intentioned police officer turns out to be a serial rapist / murderer.

Plot point 2 was the female victim he drugged and took home to rape and murder turns out to be a She-Demon from Hell who turns the tables on him and his partner in spectacularly graphic fashion.

Now, how does one sum that up in a short description without giving either plot point away?

I'm not thrilled with what I went with. "He thought he controlled her. He was wrong "

I thought perhaps it had an air of mystery to it. Instead it was just vague and easily ignored.

Not like Erotic Horror gets a massive readership anyway, but my short description definitely didn't help matters.

 

[ElectricBlue]

I'm generally crap with story titles, I've never ever written Mom in the blurb, and I keep putting stuff in Erotic Couplings, so there's that. I've just submitted a little quickie, just now. I wonder how that will go?

 

[theWollstonecraftWoman]

Again I had to deal with this issue with my story, Riders On The Storm.

I had two major plot elements I didn't want to spoil. For the purposes of this conversation, I'll have to, obviously.

Plot point 1 was the main male character/ narrator who we're initially led to believe is a well intentioned police officer turns out to be a serial rapist / murderer.

Plot point 2 was the female victim he drugged and took home to rape and murder turns out to be a She-Demon from Hell who turns the tables on him and his partner in spectacularly graphic fashion.

Now, how does one sum that up in a short description without giving either plot point away?

I'm not thrilled with what I went with. "He thought he controlled her. He was wrong "

I thought perhaps it had an air of mystery to it. Instead it was just vague and easily ignored.

Not like Erotic Horror gets a massive readership anyway, but my short description definitely didn't help matters.

I'd probably have gone with, "When the tables turn, all hell breaks loose." Or "The hunter is the prey." I realize there is something to say about longer, but you don't always need so much as you think.

 

[Djmac1031]

I'd probably have gone with, "When the tables turn, all hell breaks loose." Or "The hunter is the prey." I realize there is something to say about longer, but you don't always need so much as you think.

I like both of those. Wish I'd have thought of them lol.

You can only go so long with descriptions anyway. There are many times what I want to use as the description won't fit because it's too long.

 

[theWollstonecraftWoman]

I'd be afraid to post my titles and descriptions here. I don't hold up well when I'm told something I've labored over is crap. Most of my stories are interracial cheating stories, so I'm not sure how creative I need to be to get readers. I'm a low 4.something to middle 3.something Kind of writer. I'm good with that. I avoid Loving Wives and usually put in IR, VE (EV), or EC. I'm comfortable with scores, and can tolerate the hate comments since the pleasant ones outnumber them.

I like both of those. Wish I'd have thought of them lol.

You can only go so long with descriptions anyway. There are many times what I want to use as the description won't fit because it's too long.

 

[SouthernCrossfire]

pink, thanks for bringing this up. I was struggling between two titles for my upcoming story when I read the early part of this thread yesterday but it was the comments about the header that really grabbed me. That line hadn't changed since I was in the early stages of the story. While it might(?) have been good for a traditional romance, it wasn't very appealing for the Lit audience so I changed it and hope the revised version will help attract more potential readers.

 

[SimonDoom]

In titling stories, I mostly go for "provoke curiosity" over "tell them the plot".

You're better at it than you may think you are.

For instance, "The Floggings Will Continue . . ." is a VERY titillating title, although not one normally would associate with the Exhibitionist and Voyeur category, where it's located. It sounds like a BDSM story. I thought the tagline for that story was a good one because it provided accurate additional information about the story and complemented the title. It was "A corporate team-building event goes dreadfully wrong."

Maybe it's just me, because I have a thing for some BDSM activity and I've been through my share of tedious and self-important corporate team-building activities, but there was no way I WASN'T going to read that story when I read the title-tagline combo.

With your series Anjali's Red Scarf, the title says nothing erotically, but the tagline complements it by providing more information: "Sarah inadvertently acquires a mistress." That's erotic, and interesting, and the word "inadvertently" poses a mystery that has to be solved: how do you acquire a mistress "inadvertently"?

So you have at least a few examples of pulling this off in a way that provides helpful tips to others.

 

[Bramblethorn]

You're better at it than you may think you are.

For instance, "The Floggings Will Continue . . ." is a VERY titillating title, although not one normally would associate with the Exhibitionist and Voyeur category, where it's located. It sounds like a BDSM story. I thought the tagline for that story was a good one because it provided accurate additional information about the story and complemented the title. It was "A corporate team-building event goes dreadfully wrong."

Maybe it's just me, because I have a thing for some BDSM activity and I've been through my share of tedious and self-important corporate team-building activities, but there was no way I WASN'T going to read that story when I read the title-tagline combo.

With your series Anjali's Red Scarf, the title says nothing erotically, but the tagline complements it by providing more information: "Sarah inadvertently acquires a mistress." That's erotic, and interesting, and the word "inadvertently" poses a mystery that has to be solved: how do you acquire a mistress "inadvertently"?

So you have at least a few examples of pulling this off in a way that provides helpful tips to others.

Thanks! And yes, I'd rate those two among my successes, blurb-wise. Some of my others, not so much.

I think awful corporate team-building exercises are an almost universal experience

 

[Djmac1031]

Rereading this thread and it occurred to me that other than one story description I openly criticized myself, I didn't truly leave myself open to criticism or feedback on my story titles / short descriptions.

So to @pink_silk_glove or anyone else who wishes to participate, I'll offer several of my story titles and short descriptions.

Your comments can be as brief or as long as you'd like. You don't have to respond to all of them. But I'm curious:

Which would tempt you to actually click on it, and why?

Which would you probably just scroll on by, and why?

And, just to keep it interesting, not gonna mention what category. although a few will be obvious.

Bonus points if you wanna comment on what you think happens in the story without reading it.

Not gonna post all, just some highlights. I'm looking forward to honest, candid opinions here.

***

“Mommy” For Hire
He learns to let go in the arms of a talented sex worker.

Accidental Nudes
A mistaken text leads to an erotic encounter.

April Fools Daddy
A father is stunned by his daughter's shocking revelation.

Caring For Carrie
After an accident, a father tends to his daughter's needs.

Go For Two
A couple pick up two strangers for a special night.

In Plane View
Strangers make a connection during a long distance flight.

My Daughter, The Nudist
A father must come to terms with his daughters new lifestyle .

My Sister's Skincare
Sister needs a facial treatment only her brother can provide.

One Night Of Sindi
A stranded sex worker makes him an offer he can't refuse.

Pornville
Fantasy comes to life for an amateur author. But at what cost?

Riders On The Storm
He thought he controlled her. He was wrong

Scents And Sensitivity
Tess and Joan share intimacy with their widowed neighbor.

The Deal With Lara
A wrong number goes right, leading to an erotic partnership.

The Devil And Angel Em
A devilish deal leads to the seduction of a young nun.

The Jenna Arrangement Pt. 01
A mutually beneficial deal between older man & younger woman.

The Seduction Of Darkness
Born of vengeance, a seductive She-Demon is tempted by love.

The White Room
Two strangers awake, naked & trapped in a strange room.

 

[intim8]

Which would tempt you to actually click on it, and why?

Which would you probably just scroll on by, and why?

Well, for starters, I'm more likely to click on your stories than some rando, especially if it is a new one I get notified of.
I'll try to adjust for that.

“Mommy” For Hire
He learns to let go in the arms of a talented sex worker.

Pass. Not interested in the mommy thing, even pretend.

Accidental Nudes
A mistaken text leads to an erotic encounter.

This is the kind of thing I'll generally click on because I just like E&V stories and the "locked out" subgenre (which the title imples, but not the description). But if I'm scanning the new stories in E&V, this one would not jump out much from the others. The title is more provocative than the description. "Erotic encounter" says absolutely nothing. Here, that's like saying "leads to something happening".

April Fools Daddy
A father is stunned by his daughter's shocking revelation.

The description is a little enticing. Sounds like I/T, which I normally don't go out of my way to read, but I don't absolutely hate it. Still "Daddy" is a mild turn-off for me, and the shocking revelation is more interesting than the possibility father/daughter sex.

Caring For Carrie
After an accident, a father tends to his daughter's needs.

Same issues as above. But I'm pretty sure I read this. It was good.

Was it not in I/T? That would make it stand out more, since the description implies it, and without that implication, the premise gets a lot more interesting. Which, if I recall, it was.

Go For Two
A couple pick up two strangers for a special night.

Meh. Sounds pretty much like a million other Group stories.

In Plane View
Strangers make a connection during a long distance flight.

Mildly intriguing premise, but doesn't tell me anything that raises it out of the mix.

My Daughter, The Nudist
A father must come to terms with his daughters new lifestyle .

I like this premise a lot, but that might just be me. I enjoy the psychological and social aspects of things like this, and it doesn't sound like I/T. I've touched on this myself in some of my stuff (published and yet to be published).

My Sister's Skincare
Sister needs a facial treatment only her brother can provide.

Obvious what it is going to be. Sounds fun enough if I am in that kind of mood. And I've seen the movie.

One Night Of Sindi
A stranded sex worker makes him an offer he can't refuse.

Sounds totally cliche, but knowing you, I'm betting there's a twist. Would read it from you, not as likely from others. I might have read it, but if so, I can't recall. Somebody looking for a simple stroker would probably click.

Pornville
Fantasy comes to life for an amateur author. But at what cost?

I did read this, so obviously it caught my attention. Still would.

Riders On The Storm
He thought he controlled her. He was wrong

Interesting premise. The control thing is tricky for me, sometimes I really like it, other times not. If I'm in the mood for it, the twist might get my attention.

Scents And Sensitivity
Tess and Joan share intimacy with their widowed neighbor.

Probably a pass, but for someone who likes lesbian focused stories, it might work. "Intimacy" sounds both too generic and like it gives too much away.

The Deal With Lara
A wrong number goes right, leading to an erotic partnership.

I like it. But again, "erotic" adds nothing. I'd probably click.

The Devil And Angel Em
A devilish deal leads to the seduction of a young nun.

I generally avoid supernatural. If I wanted to read something like it, the idea is an intriguing juxtaposition of two tropes.

The Jenna Arrangement Pt. 01
A mutually beneficial deal between older man & younger woman.

I think I've been putting off starting this due to its length. But I like the idea.

The Seduction Of Darkness
Born of vengeance, a seductive She-Demon is tempted by love.

Same issue with supernatural, but the idea sounds pretty good. Almost tempted to read now it despite my aversion.

The White Room
Two strangers awake, naked & trapped in a strange room.

Read it. Yeah, this title and description reeled me in 100%, I think because it was in SF/F was part of it. I think even before I was familiar with your work. Might have been the first one I read of yours. Excellent story.

OK, so after doing this exercise, I'm sounding a lot more cynical than I thought I was. Between having read so much here, and now writing, I think I'm getting crotchety in my old age.

But a rule of thumb I just derived, never use "erotic" in your title or description. It's already in the URL, it's a given.

 

[Djmac1031]

OK, so after doing this exercise, I'm sounding a lot more cynical than I thought I was

Nah, I appreciate the honest feedback, especially considering that you have read and enjoyed several of my stories including ones on this list.

And I also get Catagory can earn an automatic rejection no matter how good a title or description is. If someone hates that category they're not reading it.

It's definitely something I'm still working on, titles and descriptions. I'm very willing to admit I have as many misses as hits there.

Oh and just side note: Jenna chapters are very short. Just sayin' lol

 

[Djmac1031]

and the shocking revelation is more interesting than the possibility father/daughter sex.

Without spoilers; it's definitely more about the former than the latter.

It's all there in the title, really.

 

[intim8]

And I also get Catagory can earn an automatic rejection no matter how good a title or description is. If someone hates that category they're not reading it.

Not just that, it can color the interpretation of the description. Like "Father attends to daughters needs" is a yawner in I/T even for someone that likes it, but in another category, it's a lot more attention-getting.

Oh and just side note: Jenna chapters are very short. Just sayin' lol

Yeah, but there's, like, a thousand of them.

It's definitely something I'm still working on, titles and descriptions.

OK, just stop saying "erotic".

 

[intim8]

It's all there in the title, really.

Yeah, and after reading the contest entries, including my own, I'm finding that I don't like AF stories generally.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

Well, you've carpet bombed here which isn't quite fair, so I'll just cherry pick a few.

“Mommy” For Hire
He learns to let go in the arms of a talented sex worker.

Mommy will pique the interest of the mom/son crowd although the description clarifies otherwise. Still would do well since 'Mommy' means a subby guy and the stroke crowd loves that stuff.

Accidental Nudes
A mistaken text leads to an erotic encounter.

Anything where a guy might get laid by accident is terribly popular. 'You mean if I text the wrong girl I could get laid? Count me in!!' Not terribly imaginative but it works.

Caring For Carrie
After an accident, a father tends to his daughter's needs.

Anything incest you really don't need anything arty or original. Big hook for the dady/daus is all that's required. I will give points for alliteration. It's a hook. It's good if the story is lighter fare, but could come off trite if the piece turns out to be more serious.

Go For Two
A couple pick up two strangers for a special night.

In Plane View
Strangers make a connection during a long distance flight.

These one I combined just because they do the same thing in the sense that the descriptions are rather redundant of their titles.

Riders On The Storm
He thought he controlled her. He was wrong

Makes me think of The Doors. Maybe it's a mind control or maybe it's a master/slave which is quite vague. I suppose that it foreshadows some table-turning but it still really tells us very little of what we're in for.

 

[Djmac1031]

Makes me think of The Doors.

I absolutely used that song as inspiration for the title and part of the story.

I even quote the lyrics to open lol.

As for the rest; I appreciate your thoughts on them, truly.

Anything where a guy might get laid by accident is terribly popular. 'You mean if I text the wrong girl I could get laid? Count me in!!' Not terribly imaginative but it works.

I think I tried to switch it up a little with my spin but I get ya lol.

that the descriptions are rather redundant of their titles.

something to work on for sure.

 

[32aa]

For me, there will be a point where I know I've discovered the theme, and then the title and description come more or less naturally. It usually comes midway through, give or take. If I finish a story and it hasn't happened, I know the story probably isn't working.

Same here. And quite a number of times, both the title and the description have changed as the story developed.

 

[intim8]

OK, maybe I'm being presumptuous, asking y'all to evaluate this before I submit the story. If so, let me know.

Would this grab you for an EC story?

Peter's Tool: 1. Leaving For Good
Farm boy takes one last shot before heading off to college

 

[ElectricBlue]

OK, maybe I'm being presumptuous, asking y'all to evaluate this before I submit the story. If so, let me know.

Would this grab you for an EC story?

Peter's Tool: 1. Leaving For Good
Farm boy takes one last shot before heading off to college

I reckon I'd pass right on by. Three cliches in the sub-title, plus the word "tool". Makes me think your protagonist is going to be as dumb as a box of hammers. You did ask .

 

[intim8]

You did ask

I did, and you're not wrong.

He's not dumb as a post, but it is intentionally not clear in this chapter that he isn't. He is a jerk though, so there's that. And hey, it takes some talent to pack three whole cliches into 60 characters, right ?

Food for thought, though, thanks.

 

[StillStunned]

I reckon I'd pass right on by. Three cliches in the sub-title, plus the word "tool". Makes me think your protagonist is going to be as dumb as a box of hammers. You did ask .

I take issue with the idea that hammers are dumb. I mean, at least they're not nails!