Top Ten Reasons...

[Earthgoddess]

My craziness is a genetic trait...
1 My son sleeps with a stuffed lobster(plush not imperial) and has a hermit crab for a pet-he wants to dip it in butter and eat it when it gets big enough.
2 My cats force me to go to sleep hours before I want to,simply by head butting me and meowing.
3 I secretly want to learn to swallow swords-real swords,not flesh sabers..
4 I sing Gilbert and Sullivan operettas...often and loudly
5 My third marriage is to my first husband and was performed by a Metaphysical Minister,in front of a sideshow peruvian mummy...it was billed as Matrimony amidst the Mummies.
6 I believe snow globes are simply sadistic proof that we are experimenting on innocent snowmen.
7 I hate clowns-really,really hate them.
8 I am a chef but I love International House of Pancakes
9 I think tarantulas are cute
10 I have read the Hobbit series 48 times-I started when I was 8 and re-read them once I finish them-over and over again...

 

[CreamyLady]

I always asked the nuns the most awkward questions, probably because I always questioned authority.

I was very bright, but my GPA ended up at 1.9.

I name all my cars, and they are friends. Esme is the current vehicle.

The Cat has been training me as a submissive.

I prefer to go to the beach in November or February -- fewer people, lots more parking, and the danger of sunburn is considerably lessened in a rainstorm.

I hate shopping for anything but books, and I have to climb over piles of them to get to bed.

I'm an equal-opportunity curmudgeon -- any hapless volunteer for any political party will hear a diatribe in favor of Marxism, and a dial tone thereafter.

I have an irreverent attitude. Solemn occasions, such as funerals, have provided me with some of the best laughs in my life.

I'd rather be poor than ever go back to working in offices again.

I gave a large part of my garden over to catnip plants for The Cat.

 

[Whispersecret]

Melody, just wanted to say, GREAT THREAD.

 

[Chatmic]

Creamy Lady:

Great responses....and I think it is 10 reasons why you are NOT crazy...
By the way..How's the submissive training going? What's the name of your Master Cat? Is it Sir Pussy?

 

[CreamyLady]

Originally posted by chatmic:
Creamy Lady:

By the way..How's the submissive training going? What's the name of your Master Cat? Is it Sir Pussy?

No. His name is JP, but I have to recite his titles every evening: Bane of Birds, Scourge of Rats, Slayer of Insects; Defender of the Home and Hearth; Descendant of Gods; Warrior.

I sleep in whatever position he allows, after he arranges himself in the bed.

I am out of bed every morning by 6:00 a.m., so that breakfast may be served on time. His, not mine.

Finally, I had to give up my plans for a rose hedge because he wanted some catnip.

I think I'm doing very well; at least he doesn't insist that I refer to myself in lowercase.

 

[Chatmic]

WOW Impressive CreamyLady,
Does he train anyone else? I could use a little training....do you have to meow for him?
and boy I bet his Cat-O-Nine tails really hurts....
It's hell Clawing your way to the top of the submissive heap aint it?

 

[Whispersecret]

Gil, baby, you want me to sing like Rex Harrison? Half the time the man isn't even singing--he's just talking the lyrics! Heh heh.

How 'bout if I sing my Literotica rendition of "Wouldn't It Be Loverly?"

<clears her throat> Here is, "Wouldn't It Be Fuckin'-Great!" (You gotta really shove those last two words together to make 'em fit the rhythm of the song.)

All I want is a man somewhere,
Poor man, av’rage man, or millionaire,
Whose cum he wants to share,
Oh…wouuuuldn’t it be fuckin’ great?

Lots of cockmeat for me to eat,
(Might-even swallow if it tastes sweet.)
Who likes his girls petite!
Oh…wouldn’t it be fuckin’ great!

Oh, how wonderful gettin’ eaten by a big strong man
Who could fuck me all night long, ‘til neither of us can stand!

Someone’s cum leakin’ out of me,
Warm and sticky as it can be,
‘What’s that? Again? Round Three?’
Oh, wouuuuldnnnnn’t it be fuckin’ great!

<waits for the echo>
Fuckin' great...
<waits again>
Fuckin' great!

 

[ShyGuy68]

Whisper.

To damn funny!! *rofl*


ShyGuy

 

[MADDOG]

I think this relates more to being fucked up than crazy, but it's why I came to be known as MADDOG.

1. I got dared $10 to climb onto a 3rd story roof, at 3am after 7 or so drinks, in the middle of a crowded street outside a nightclub and I took it after having the prize raised to $20. I completed the dare, ripped my $80 shirt, and accepted $5 for my troubles when my mate wouldn't pay.

2. I told a dirty joke during a talent show on a Year 12 school religious retreat in front of 200 students, 20 teachers, and a bunch of Priests. One of the "characters" featured in the joke was a friends mother as "The ugliest woman in hell", and the friend as the "Ugliest Man in hell". I had to appologise to all present to avoid being sent home from the camp. Funnily enough, it was my friend who laughed the hardest at the joke, because he's the one who dared me to repeat it!

3. I "borrowed" a 4 wheel motor cycle on my Year 10 Outdoor Ed Camp and got sent home for doing so. (I wasn't alone there.)

4. I wrote a love letter to a girl I hardly knew explaining how I felt, didn't get the answer I was looking for, and was happy that I did it. It was the first time I'd ever made a move on someone I cared about. (We're good friends now, so it all worked out.)

5. I like to jump off the highest rock I can find into the deepest water I can find, wait for the water around me to settle, before farting and trying to beat the bubbles to the surface. (Only did it once, but I won).

6. I swear to god, there is NOTHING I won't do for an adrenaline rush or to make people laugh. I'm a junkie.

7. I am a hopeless romantic, as opposed to my friends who will have sex with whatever walks in front of them. (Actually, I would too. I hate those lucky bastards! But I am a romantic.)

8. I honestly beleive without a doubt that I will one day sell a screenplay and be able to invite everyone here to the opening of the film to rub shoulders with the stars. (Hey, if anyone knows or is a Hollywood agent, I'm sure you know what to do! I've got some GOOD shit for you to read! I need an agent!)

9. I would chose happiness over everything else in life. (Not really a trade off - Happiness involves the perfect woman, the perfect career, the perfect life, and enough cash to enjoy it!)

10. If I won the lotto I would keep working. (And buy a proper fucking job).

MADDOG

 

[Hurley International]

Why buy me clothes?
I get them for free from hurley international and DC Shoe Co USA

You can buy me CD's though hehhe

My Birthday was April 8th
if you need my address i will give it to you ehehe

 

[Svedish_Chef]

Originally posted by melody_lane:
People think You're crazy!
because...

I've gotten out of the shower, only to stand in the rain in a sheet-(it was an impulse).
I've never had sex and yet write erotic stories, have phonesex, take nude photos of myself, record my orgasms, etc...

Oh come here you must be my dream come to life!

da Chef

 

[Unclebill]

Oh!! Whispersecret! Do you do housecalls?! I love your delivery!

 

[Cheyenne]

I had to think about this one for awhile- but here goes:
Top 10 reasons why people (incorrectly) think I am crazy:
10) I spoil my nieces/nephew. A lot.
9) I collect antiques, spending a fortune investing in them. Someday I may have my own shop, but I probably won't be able to bring myself to sell any of them.
8) Like Xander, I sleep less than most people. Usually 5 hours, maybe 6 if I'm lucky.
7) I'm in my 40's and never have been married.
6) I love to fish.
5) I work way too many hours.
4) I spend too many hours and dollars on eBay, the "other" site I'm addicted to.
3) If I'm not at work, I'm at home on my computer. No one can ever reach me to talk to me and it drives them nuts.
2) I am addicted to reading. I just CAN'T throw away any newspaper (I get two each day) or magazine without reading the whole thing. They stack up until I get to them.
1) I like to cut up dill pickles and mix them in my mashed potatoes. It freaks people out, and it tastes good, too.

 

[Gil]

Whisper, ooooh Whisper...<standing and applauding loudly>

Come on you girls out there...she deserves a standing ovulation!

 

[Havocman]

Top Ten Reasons? I have to limit it to Ten??? HAH!!! Yeah Right....lol

Whisper, reading your Top Ten I was surprised at what you thought would make people think you were crazy...if most of those things can mark you as a crazy person, then I must be certifiable...oh wait, I am...shit, nevermind.

And then, you break out into song...oh Whispersweetie...Let me just say that anyone that can make porn parody out of Lerner & Lowe definitely deserves a good fucking...if you can do something similar to "The Lusty Month of May", I'll forget the hay and throw in a wall...*wink*

Havoc

 

[Cyra_3]

Only 10, well OK:

1: I talk to my cat as though she were a real person.

2: I correct the spelling of everything I find lying around.

3: I almost always dress in black.

4: I have been known to open bottles with my teeth.

5: I would rather sit at home with a mug of cocoa and a good book (or a pint and the internet) than go clubbing with the girls.

6: I often find myself ewwwwwing instead of awwwwwing (as is expected) when presented with peoples kids, (esp. when they have stringy snot hanging from their nostrils).

7: On the rare occasions that I do go out I would rather drink a pint of real ale or Guinness than an 'alcopop'.

8: At work all the other women sit there reading girlie magazines whereas I sit there reading Nietzche or the like.

9: I am addicted to Minesweeper.

10: I am perfectly happy with my life.

 

[Whispersecret]

Thanks, ShyGuy, Unclebill, Gil, and Havoc. I'm glad I'm not the only kook who likes the old classic musicals. <winks>

Havoc, "The Lusty Month of May" is already rife with sexual undertones... but since I love the idea of the wallbanging, I worked on another ditty from Camelot. I hope you’re familiar with the tune, “I Wonder What the King Is Doing Tonight”...

I wonder who the king is sucking tonight!
Whose asshole is the king butt-fucking tonight?
The doxies at the court have never been as tight!
I wonder who the king is slamming tonight…

How strong’s the royal dickie?
Good for more than just a quickie?
Can it satisfy the ladies of the realm?

Well-- I’ll tell you who the king is doing tonight…
His sis! Yes, his sis!

You mean that a monarch rife with lust
Faced with his sister’s jiggling bust
Couldn’t resist his rising appetite?
Rrrright!

You mean that a man who sits the throne
Made her ride the royal bone,
Fucked her in a fit of lustiness?
Yessss!

You mean that the princess loves her king
By kissing much more than his ring
She takes the royal scepter all the way?
Nay!

You wonder where the king is cumming tonight?
He’s cumming in the princess’ bunghole tonight.
He’s lubing up her bum so he can push inside
Incestuous and sick, he cannot be denied!

And, oh, the expectation, the sublime anticipation
He must feel about the orgasm to come!
Well! I’ll tell you what the king is doing tonight--
He lifts her skirts!
He thrusts! He spurts!
And that’swhat the king is doing tonight!

Did that merit, Havoc? Can I start telling the neighbors that I'm having my house remodeled and to not bother about any repetitive banging they might hear?


[This message has been edited by whispersecret (edited 06-04-2000).]

 

[Havocman]

OH MY GOD!!! Yes, yes, and yes again...my favorite song from my favorite musical...ahem, oh Whisper darling...

*strapping on his toolbelt as a disguise*
Yes, please do tell the neighbors not to mind any loud banging they may hear from your place...or screaming and grunting for that matter *wink*

You did yourself proud hon

Havoc

 

[Whispersecret]

I love a man in a toolbelt and nothing else. Is that a ball-peen hammer on that belt, or are you just glad to see me?

 

[Havocman]

*looking down at his "hammer" and smiling*

Well actually, now that you mention it, I am happy to see you But, it does sort of look like a ball-peen hammer doesn't it...hmmmmmmm...

So tell me lady, got anything around here that needs a good nailing?

*cueing up my theme music*

Bow-Chicka-Bow-Bow-Chicka-Bow-Bow

Havoc

 

[Raindrop]

1) I love to dance, but I do it like a mentally challenged stripper on meth.

2) I have to have two identities on this board, even though most of you know who each one is... but I am actually trusting you (people I don't even know) to keep them secret.

3) I sometimes get on while driving a stickshift..... other times by watching a man driving a stick shift....

4) tofu dogs with honey.... yummmm
herbivores rule!!! love the taste of rice dream... only buy "happy chicken" eggs (from free roaming grain fed hens).

5) So lazy with housework, totally procrastinate on it, yet can somehow manage to run marathons.

6) Somehow manage to run marathons but don't get the anorexic look.

7) Have performed tons o' times singing, in a band some of the times even.... but always get freaked when someone tries to get me to karaoke.

8) Love to feel beautiful but hardly ever wear make-up.... only wear it when performing or on a very very special occasion... like... halloween.

9) Never before been drunk, ... but love to party.

10) Am VERY sexual but didn't have my first kiss until I was 17.

Um there are more.... but since I am limited to ten, there ya have it!

Luv
- raindrop

 

[Jade]

Originally posted by Cyra_3:

1: I talk to my cat as though she were a real person.

4: I have been known to open bottles with my teeth.

5: I would rather sit at home with a mug of cocoa and a good book (or a pint and the internet) than go clubbing with the girls.

6: I often find myself ewwwwwing instead of awwwwwing (as is expected) when presented with peoples kids, (esp. when they have stringy snot hanging from their nostrils).


8: At work all the other women sit there reading girlie magazines whereas I sit there reading Nietzche or the like.

9: I am addicted to Minesweeper.

Cyra... numbers 1,5,6 and 8.. right on woman!!!

#4 can you tie a knot in a cherry stem with your tongue?
#9 LMAO!!!!!

~Jade

 

[Beebeeblue]

But, it does sort of look like a ball-peen hammer doesn't it...hmmmmmmm...

So tell me lady, got anything around here that needs a good nailing?

*cueing up my theme music*

Bow-Chicka-Bow-Bow-Chicka-Bow-Bow

Havoc [/B][/QUOTE]

Ok, so now youve changed into a Toolman eh??? Can you help fix my ear fetish???