Ugghhh...really weird question

[Etoile]

What we have here is a young adult (I presume you're young, as you mention procrastination with studying) with little or no work ethic, who apparently wants someone else to do something to make life all happy and productive, rather than doing the difficult work of self-improvement and actualization.

He's 26, the same age as me.

Seeing a therapist is a wonderful thing. I have been paying mine $100/wk since the beginning of the year, but I have learned so much about myself that I would gladly have paid her 10x as much if I could afford it. But most of what I have learned has come from talking to her...the realizations are my own, she is just the sounding board. It takes commitment from both parties to be successful at improving one's life. The therapist gets paid to commit to success; the client is the one who has to do the hard stuff.

 

[AvaAdore]

I think other people who have posted so far are right - you are the one who needs to put in the effort to make changes.

In the past, I've been asked by my partner to try to motivate him with university work (he had a lot of issues with motivation, probably linked to depression). It just never worked and made the relationship more stressful. There was nothing I could do to help him until he put in a major effort all on his own. Having said that, it did help him to have someone there for him.

My advice with the motivation thing is to take small steps at first. It is really important to have someone to talk to, even someone online.

 

[Netzach]

The couch is cheaper, ultimately. So not being able to afford therapy really isn't the issue. Are you just unable to deal with the fact that, among having a bunch of issues, you also want to get spanked by a prodomme and you're looking for a socially more acceptable reason to do that?

Prodomme will not address the degrees to which you feel messed up, you are looking at an apples/oranges thing. Yes, there is a therapeutic quality or feel to a good SM session, but it's not going to solve your life's problems - only you can do that, and other kinds of professionals are more appropriate.

If you are trying to get your psychosexual rocks off, then a therapist sucks and a prodomme is great.

 

[Etoile]

The couch is cheaper, ultimately. So not being able to afford therapy really isn't the issue. Are you just unable to deal with the fact that, among having a bunch of issues, you also want to get spanked by a prodomme and you're looking for a socially more acceptable reason to do that?

Prodomme will not address the degrees to which you feel messed up, you are looking at an apples/oranges thing. Yes, there is a therapeutic quality or feel to a good SM session, but it's not going to solve your life's problems - only you can do that, and other kinds of professionals are more appropriate.

If you are trying to get your psychosexual rocks off, then a therapist sucks and a prodomme is great.

Netzach is 100% right. Listen to what she has to say, because she totally wins.

 

[liberatedslave]

You say that you've never had a gf but it sounds as though you don't have mates to hang out with either. I know from experience that spending too much time alone in your own head is bad for your mental health. I would advocate getting out and interacting with people. Even if you just shoot pool in a bar for the evening, you'll be forced to chat to people, you may make friends and if it all goes horribly wrong you need never see them again. There are always ways to get out and meet people. Go on a couple of singles nights out of town. You may not want a gf right now or you may want a Domme but this will simply get you talking to women.

As for your psychological problems you definitely sound clinically depressed to me. Go to your GP and try an anti-depressant if offered one, you don't have to take them forever but they will temporarily shift the stormcloud you're sitting under and allow you to be motivated and work towards getting rid of it permanently. Ask for therapy and see if you can get counselling for free. Most countries have some dispensation for people who can't afford private treatment. Never hurts to ask.

The golden self-help rule is that nobody will like you till you love yourself and I don't think you do. What do you have to offer people? What would make you a good friend or boyfriend? If you can't put much on the list you won't attract people and you can't really blame them for that right now. You need to believe in yourself and that's near impossible if you've been clinically depressed for a long time. You need to spend time on yourself, give yourself some TLC.

I would start with the basics, start with you and what you want for yourself. That may be having your ass spanked or studying or travelling or whatever but do what you can to make what you want happen. Take steps towards whoever you want to be.

As Fury said, you have to forgive yourself. For getting into the bad shape you're in, for being a hermit, for procrastinating, for fucking up along the way. Being ashamed of yourself is counter-productive. Focus on achievable goals and then get off your ass and try to achieve them. Keep at it and you'll surprise yourself, even though there'll be setbacks.

OK, end of pep-talk. Have a dancing nana to cheer up your thread

 

[barebacknubianf]

Ok this is going to be an unusual thread I'll try and cut it short...basically, I'm messed up for several reasons....26 yrs old been what you'd call a hermit for quite some time...never had a g/f or sex, can't get myself to do something just procastinate all the time and lately very emotionally numb.

My question is....could some err spanking sessions by a dominatrix help me? I am quite an avid reader of spanking stories and from there I got the idea it just might...what do you all think?

This may sound like a cruel thing to say, and I don't really mean it that way, but...it seems like you're a very weak-willed person, and you won't sort that out through any other "quick fix" than getting up and forcing a bit of discipline onto yourself. Life, unfortunately, isn't easy enough for problems like yours to be solved by a good spanking. They require commitment and, dare I say it, the balls to get out there and try to change.

 

[DarkSteven]

The question is - do you know how you got depressed in the first place? Is there a specific incident or a childhood pattern that created this?

 

[vtxxxr]

To me, the words "messed up", "hermit", "procrastinate all the time", and "emotionally numb" more say "Lets try therapy/physical/low dose anti-depressants to solve the above issues", than "Lets get spanked by a Pro-Domme and hope it flips a switch..."

+1 I couldnt agree more!