Miles Long
Fuck victoriously!
- Joined
- Oct 21, 2005
- Posts
- 21,358
My reservation has nothing to do with the three rules you list above. There is a difference between having adult content on your phone that someone hacks into and looks at and having adult content as your home screen or wallpaper that could easily be seen by someone nearby when you just casually access your phone in public. Many people use their phones to look at adult websites or store naughty pics and vids, and the difference is those things are much harder to accidentally be seen if they are hidden in a folder somewhere and not on the home screen. When you have adult material on your home screen, the chance that someone else might unwittingly see it is higher. And what you're hearing from the other posters on this forum is that's a level of risk they don't want to take.
Part of not wanting to take that risk is wanting to maintain privacy, but part of it is also a desire not to include other people in their kink without their consent. That's not "playing the life on the weekends" - it's being considerate of other people in the world, many of whom would like to get through their day without having to wonder if the next time they glance across the subway car they're going to see a guy's balls in bondage on the screen of his phone. I, for one, wouldn't be scandalized if I saw it, but I also think it's in poor taste. Of course I don't get to decide what everyone's definition of poor taste is, and on the grand scale of offenses I hardly think it's the worst thing someone could do, but you asked and that's my answer. It's ok if you don't like my opinion, but getting defensive when you asked for opinions just because they weren't the opinions you wanted to hear doesn't make sense to me. To imply that people who don't agree with you about this are somehow not real practitioners of BDSM is beyond ridiculous. Furthermore, it's equally valid to live the life every day or live it on the weekends. Everyone gets to decide what form of BDSM is appropriate for them. You should not be shamed for being in a 24/7 TPE and no one should be shamed for being in whatever dynamic or relationship that they find fulfilling. And if we wanted to be technical, slavery is illegal in most countries, so even a 24/7 TPE Master/slave relationship is technically play because we can't legally own another human being. I'm just saying, if we want to be technical.
As for the thrill of possibly being caught, yes that is a thrill for many and can be a great jolt of sexual energy. But as Bramblethorn pointed out, the reality of it often means involving people in your kink who didn't get a chance to consent. And I get that getting people's consent beforehand probably defeats the purpose of the thrill of being caught, so I don't know if there's an answer there that doesn't land in some ethical gray area. What I know for certain is I've not put enough thought into it to know where I land for sure. I suspect I would land on it's a bad idea in general, but maybe there are some case by case exceptions where it would be fine. For example, if it's a situation where there's no kids around. Also I think I start to feel a little less on board when people take active steps to get caught rather than getting caught through no fault of their own but enjoy the jolt and sexual thrill that results. I don't know. But my gut reaction is that it can be complicated, and when it comes to actual play vs fantasyland, I try to err on the side of getting consent of anyone involved.
And I am right there with you on not wearing clothes at home. If people in the building across the street want to watch me walk around naked, that's their own damn problem and I am not about to modify my in-home behavior or dress because of them.
Welp, Merry Christmas everybody!
