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We don't need no stinking badges!!!

Do you agree?

  • Yes, quit it with the arguing over labels

    Votes: 35 87.5%

  • No, it's important to enforce strict limits on label usage

    Votes: 5 12.5%
  • Total voters
    40
I'm with Stella regarding the voting.
I can't pick one of them. But my personal reasons are a bit different (and I won't vote for the underdog ;) ).

Since I came here to the amazingly different english side of the board (which is like heaven compared to the german one regarding discussions) I never experienced anybody clubing me into oblivion for using the wrong labels.
And since I was pretty confused at the beginning and couldn't pick my label then I would have been game for it.

After developing an opinion about the whole thingy I came to the conclusion that none of the labels perfectly fits. (Except PYL/pyl maybe, which is rather neutral, isn't it?)
But hey ... That's the story of my life. I picked my handle and avatar for a reason and secretly consider everybody who views himself fitting a (not self created) label perfectly a bit across-the-board ...
But in terms of discussing the topics all those labels are immensely helpful.
Words are meaningless unless defined. And the precise labels help with that.
Therefore I should vote for the second option. But then again there is the 'enforce strict' part in this.
How can my way of fucking somebody can be enforced strictly, eh? Not really ...

My vote goes for: Keep up with the labeling to help the comunication, but be patient with every persons point of view regarding his/her own label.
After understanding the whole thing to a degree that one personally deems adequate the label naturally becomes '>insert-unsername-here<'s personal way of having fun', doesn't it?!

So I understand both sides in this discussion. And partially don't understand them.
As always. Because whenever labels are picked people tend to think they have to stick to the labels definition to remain cool. And I never understood that.
It's just all about 'knowing what the fuck we are talking about' and nothing more. Or at least it should be this way.
Nobody will ever stand in your PTFA/ptfa (place to fool around) and tell you that you are not behaving correct in regard of your label. (Or if I would find somebody standing there I would show him the third option of leaving a room besides doors and windows: right through the wall.)

Soooo ...
Relax? ;)
 
I've decided to make up labels for myself to condense all of the other pre-assembled terms floating around that apply to me. And I figure that hey; I've already got a long-term partner, I don't move in IRL kink circles, and when I do talk about it online... when the hell have I ever actually tried to squeeze myself into an ill-fitting label for the purpose of discussion? Almost never: the topics I wind up participating in don't ever ask for identification in order to jump in. I just post like anyone else, and that's that. If other folks can't tell What I Am from the content of my posts, then it's probably irrelevant.

The only time I can ever think of these label things being handy is if you're doing research (which, tbh, shouldn't take you very long to figure out if you're using the internet), or looking to hook up.
 
I figure my contributions to the internet just might make someone's research that little bit more fruitful. ;) The internet is still a do-it-yourself proposition.

yeah, it's when people are looking to hook up that the labels are most important.

Lots of people do look to hook up. BDSM is about sex, after all...

Or when they are trying to negotiate, or describe themselves to a group, or playing in public, or figure out what the hell they are and why the Sleeping Beauty stories got them off like a rocket...
 
I just took a look at the gorgeous, gorgeous site someone just linked to, http://www.restrainedelegance.com

Imagine my surprise when I read things like; Done correctly with a loving partner, bondage and BDSM can be beautiful and fulfilling for both the submissive and the dominant.

get it? You have to be a loving partner. Caring, maybe? Play friend? Not nearly beautiful or fulfilling enough.

You have to be either submissive or dominant.

Otherwise, as you have just been told, you're doing it wrong.

I just used google to search the site.

site:restrainedelegance.com submissive brings back a number of results.

site:restrainedelegance.com bottom brings back sentences like "From top to bottom we strive for customer satisfaction... etc. .

site:restrainedelegance.com topping brings back zero results.


I know it sounds like I'm going ballistic, and I'm not, I swear. But it does show the way a limited vocabulary can control the conversation.
 
Last edited:
Stella, it's a pay porn site where all the models are white and between 18 and 25 (I think one may have been in her 30s) with the same plastic photoshopped look. you really expected something radical?
 
Kybele said:
Stella, it's a pay porn site where all the models are white and between 18 and 25 (I think one may have been in her 30s) with the same plastic photoshopped look. you really expected something radical?
Click to expand...
The moment I saw it was a for-pay site, I stopped expecting radical- at least, as far as the imagery goes, because the site has some fabulous bondage on it!

But you know I always ask people where they first heard the words that describe BDSM roles, and most of them can't even remember... it's been always been dom/sub, as far as they're concerned. This at least, is part of WHY, IMO... it's the mainstream shopping mall BDSM world.

It's the price we pay, honestly, for the improved information and communication of the internet-- the very thing that's made it more possible to persue BDSM with less interference from the law, more possible to find out the bad actors... more possible to dumb down at the same time. Some people like it that way.
 
Last edited:
The poll offers a false choice as the two options are not completely mutually exclusive. Why would I want to enter into a discussion that begins on straw man premises?

I'm with DGE here. I love to talk about food but I want my discussions of burritos—to say nothing of actual meals involving burritos—to include those kinds of preparations that are widely recognized as burritos. If I wanted to talk about Mexican food while only using terminology from Escoffier, I think I'd find myself a very lonely foodie very quickly.

And now I'm hungry for a burrito and a willing ass to spank.
 
IrisAlthea said:
But if you're with the Spanish Inquisition, you really don't need a badge, right?
Click to expand...

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooo one expects...."


Wait.

Um.

I have already had one thread moved to the Cafe this week for frivolity. So I better eeeeeease off on the stupidpedal, or I may be ticketed and have my BDSM Talk board license revoked. :eek:
 
DeepGreenEyes said:
"Noooooooooooooooooooooooo one expects...."


Wait.

Um.

I have already had one thread moved to the Cafe this week for frivolity. So I better eeeeeease off on the stupidpedal, or I may be ticketed and have my BDSM Talk board license revoked. :eek:
Click to expand...
Make sure to check the badge of whoever's doing the revoking...
Or the vadge, if you're in a position to do so. :p
 
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