Wedding (gift) Etiquette

[pleasteasme]

LOL...

Believe it or not, I was kind of thinking something similar when I typed that out.

Get her a strap-on harness and a feeldoe... And you've got both covered...

She wasn't registered for a strap-on/harness or a feeldoe! That sounds more like a bachelorette party gift!!!!

I couldn't begin to imagine....................

*giggles*

 

[Guest]

 

[midwestyankee]

Well, I don't really have any suggestions to add regarding the gifts, and if I did, you would probably be wise to ingore them.

But, a pumpkin colored dress????

Before my wife and I got married (20+ years ago) I had been in a few wedding parties and wore some tux colors that were hideous. When we got married, my wife asked what I thought about colors, and I said I didn't care what anyone else wore, I was wearing a black tux and that was it. We decided on red off the shelf dresses from a nice store for the girls and black for the guys.

Pumpkin huh, what color shoes?

I would hazard a guess: glass slippers.

 

[Guest]

 

[pleasteasme]

I would hazard a guess: glass slippers.

Boy, THAT would be fun!!! *Only if I got to find my Prince Charming though*



Yeah, go figure on the color.....*scratching head* maybe because it is a Fall wedding???? Not sure, really.

 

[midwestyankee]

Boy, THAT would be fun!!! *Only if I got to find my Prince Charming though*



Yeah, go figure on the color.....*scratching head* maybe because it is a Fall wedding???? Not sure, really.

Or maybe the bride is just a little bit out of her gourd?

 

[pleasteasme]

Or maybe the bride is just a little bit out of her gourd?

HAHAHAHAAAA....you are funny!!!! Good one

 

[dollface007]

Now, realizing that 2 gifts seem to be the proper thing to do. Does it matter in value which is which? In other words, should the wedding gift be more expensive than the shower gift? Or does that not really matter?

I still say get her a card (maybe it is a Southern thing), but if you really don't want to go to the wedding empty handed, I'd say get them a nice picture frame or something relatively reasonable. Contrary to what some people say, I never saw members of the bridal party as "just another guest" at the wedding who is to be regarded the same way as other guests (i.e., buying a gift in exchange for a meal and a party). Being part of a bridal party is a lot of work and expense. Besides the dress, you have to pay to get your hair and nails done, plan showers & bachelorette parties, buy gifts for all of those occasions, possibly pay out-of-town travel expenses multiple times, not to mention helping and planning for the actual wedding and reception.

 

[Quoll]

LOL...

Believe it or not, I was kind of thinking something similar when I typed that out.

Get her a strap-on harness and a feeldoe... And you've got both covered...

Hmm I have an anniversary coming up.

 

[pleasteasme]

I still say get her a card (maybe it is a Southern thing), but if you really don't want to go to the wedding empty handed, I'd say get them a nice picture frame or something relatively reasonable. Contrary to what some people say, I never saw members of the bridal party as "just another guest" at the wedding who is to be regarded the same way as other guests (i.e., buying a gift in exchange for a meal and a party). Being part of a bridal party is a lot of work and expense. Besides the dress, you have to pay to get your hair and nails done, plan showers & bachelorette parties, buy gifts for all of those occasions, possibly pay out-of-town travel expenses multiple times, not to mention helping and planning for the actual wedding and reception.

Good point as well....*sigh* I just don't want to do a faux pas thing and feel bad.

I already got her a nice pic frame for her engagement party. Although, one can never have enough pic frames, lol!!!

Crap, I have to get my hair & nails done too??!!! *giggles* Yes, out of town travel as well. I know I will be staying in a hotel at least one night, the wedding is 2 1/2 hrs away....and there will be the rehearsal dinner the night before, I imagine. No point in driving back and forth.

*wondering why I said yes?*

If I ever get married...................................................

 

[SweetErika]

I'm not sure if this will help, but one of my friends gave me the best shower gift... a personalized bag of romance stuff, including a homemade CD of sexy songs, chocolates, a tiny book of sex/romance ideas and games, candles, massage lotion, and a really beautiful card expressing her sentiments. I appreciated that more than anything I got from our registries because it took time and effort and was for US.

So, I'd go with something personal like that for the shower, and do the towels for the wedding. Of course I'm one of those types who was just happy to be surrounded by people I care about, and didn't give a damn if we got any gifts at all.

 

[INeedLove]

Sorry to concur

Unfortunetly, giving a gift at the shower and the wedding is proper etiquette. If I remember in a previous post, you said you bought towels? I would definetly split them up and use them for both. Or, if you are a crafty person, get doubles of photos from the shower and make a small scrapbook for a gift. Do you know the details of the shower? If it's not already being done, get her a bridal corsage at a florist and make that her shower gift and then the towels could be the wedding gift. Just throwing ideas out..

About the hair and makeup-you DON"T have to have them done professionally. If you feel pushed you could simply state that you like your hair a bit more natural so you'd prefer to do it yourself. All of that stuff really starts to add up doesn't it?

When I had gotten married, we did a resale shop hop. I wanted dark green as the dress color. So we went to resale shops and hunted for cute dresses that still looked nice and wedding like. Oddly enough we got 3 at one store and found another similiar gown at another place. They spent 30 or 40 dollars. I left shoes up to their taste-since the dresses were long anyway. I tried to make it easy on the pocketbook. (Secretly now I am glad they didn't waste money since I'm divorced from the jerk! )

I hope you will have a wonderful time!!

 

[Denae]

How about engraved champagne glasses?

BTW, just about fell off of my chair when Tease said she was wearing a green beret.

 

[pleasteasme]

I'm not sure if this will help, but one of my friends gave me the best shower gift... a personalized bag of romance stuff, including a homemade CD of sexy songs, chocolates, a tiny book of sex/romance ideas and games, candles, massage lotion, and a really beautiful card expressing her sentiments. I appreciated that more than anything I got from our registries because it took time and effort and was for US.

So, I'd go with something personal like that for the shower, and do the towels for the wedding. Of course I'm one of those types who was just happy to be surrounded by people I care about, and didn't give a damn if we got any gifts at all.

That is a sweet idea! I like the personal idea. The gift registry is convenient but, you do loose the personal touch.

Oh, I don't think she 'expects' a lot, she is pretty down to earth. I just want to do the right thing .

Thanks

 

[pleasteasme]

How about engraved champagne glasses?

BTW, just about fell off of my chair when Tease said she was wearing a green beret.

*giggles* sorry Denae ~ I thought I would be festive though!

You know, Fall and Halloween and all, hehehehe!!!

 

[pleasteasme]

Unfortunetly, giving a gift at the shower and the wedding is proper etiquette. If I remember in a previous post, you said you bought towels? I would definetly split them up and use them for both. Or, if you are a crafty person, get doubles of photos from the shower and make a small scrapbook for a gift. Do you know the details of the shower? If it's not already being done, get her a bridal corsage at a florist and make that her shower gift and then the towels could be the wedding gift. Just throwing ideas out..

About the hair and makeup-you DON"T have to have them done professionally. If you feel pushed you could simply state that you like your hair a bit more natural so you'd prefer to do it yourself. All of that stuff really starts to add up doesn't it?

When I had gotten married, we did a resale shop hop. I wanted dark green as the dress color. So we went to resale shops and hunted for cute dresses that still looked nice and wedding like. Oddly enough we got 3 at one store and found another similiar gown at another place. They spent 30 or 40 dollars. I left shoes up to their taste-since the dresses were long anyway. I tried to make it easy on the pocketbook. (Secretly now I am glad they didn't waste money since I'm divorced from the jerk! )

I hope you will have a wonderful time!!

Good ideas!!!

I don't feel pressured to do the hair & nails thing....I should probably have at least my nails done though (but, not burnt ornage )

Nice idea on the dresses although, there would have been no way to do that....we all live so far apart. What a coordinating nightmare! I ended up just going on my own to get my dress. Luckily, the designer has a good website that even lets you try on the color.

Ummmmm....congrats then?! *I never know what to say about the big D.

 

[Willing and Unsure]

Here's my question for you about this. How up to date are the couple getting married doing their wedding?

The reason I ask this (to make the question more clear) is that I went to a wedding and all of its festivities about a year ago. One of the things that I found interesting was the way the showers were set up. There was a wedding shower where both the bride and groom were there and opened up all of the gifts together. Almost all of the gifts at that shower were things off of their registry. Then there was a personal shower (as the bride's sister called it) where it was just for the bride. She got all sorts of gifts that were more along the lines of lingerie and sexy types of stuff. At the wedding itself, there were hardly any gift boxes, most people bring cards and put money inside them as a gift at the wedding. Generally the money that is given at the wedding itself like that goes to cover the cost of the reception (those suckers can be expensive nowadays), at least ideally that's what it's intention is. I hope this might help you some with figuring it all out.

 

[pleasteasme]

Here's my question for you about this. How up to date are the couple getting married doing their wedding?

The reason I ask this (to make the question more clear) is that I went to a wedding and all of its festivities about a year ago. One of the things that I found interesting was the way the showers were set up. There was a wedding shower where both the bride and groom were there and opened up all of the gifts together. Almost all of the gifts at that shower were things off of their registry. Then there was a personal shower (as the bride's sister called it) where it was just for the bride. She got all sorts of gifts that were more along the lines of lingerie and sexy types of stuff. At the wedding itself, there were hardly any gift boxes, most people bring cards and put money inside them as a gift at the wedding. Generally the money that is given at the wedding itself like that goes to cover the cost of the reception (those suckers can be expensive nowadays), at least ideally that's what it's intention is. I hope this might help you some with figuring it all out.

Thanks W & U......that is an interesting concept. I think though, this couple is more traditional. They had an engagement party, both of them were there and people brought gifts (no registry), then the bachelorette party is this weekend.....gifts? who knows!? Then the wedding shower, which I imagine will be just the bride (although I am not possitive).

It is very confusing and I am not one that really knows all of the ins and outs of this type of stuff. I guess I am a little leary of putting my foot in my mouth, *so to speak* and mess up

 

[Willing and Unsure]

Thanks W & U......that is an interesting concept. I think though, this couple is more traditional. They had an engagement party, both of them were there and people brought gifts (no registry), then the bachelorette party is this weekend.....gifts? who knows!? Then the wedding shower, which I imagine will be just the bride (although I am not possitive).

It is very confusing and I am not one that really knows all of the ins and outs of this type of stuff. I guess I am a little leary of putting my foot in my mouth, *so to speak* and mess up

Here's my suggestion then. Go ask the bride about it. Just tell her that you want to make sure you are being appropriate with what gifts you give (tell her that you're sort of considering a gag gift or something). I doubt she'd be too thrilled if she opened up a box that had a bottle of KY jelly in it with a note that says "Use when things are a little bit tight" in front of a room full of people and her husband to be.

Just remember, the only dumb questions are the ones that go unasked.

 

[pleasteasme]

OK, I think I have a plan!

The bath towels are going to be the shower gift and for their wedding gift I have a few options:

1. Make them a large heart topiary out of ivy (a new hobby I have taken on)

or

2. Purchase some sort of keepsake momento to celebrate their wedding day

Thoughts?

 

[Guest]

 

[pleasteasme]

BRB. I need to go research what a topiary is.

It would look something like this, but in a nicer pot

 

[Guest]

 

[pleasteasme]

Thanks for the link (Actually, I spaced out and forgot to research it.)

With the right pot (and I don't mean a pot plant) my preference would be the large heart shaped topiary made with ivy.

hahaha, yeah I should have clarrified that!

I'm leaning that way as well ~ gives it a personal touch

Thanks Scalywag

 

[therockap1]

I need the advice of those more wise than I.

My friend is getting married, she has asked me to be a bridesmaid. Cool, I understand that I am responsible for the dress and yadda yadda.

However, how many gifts am I expected to purchase? I bought her about $100 worth of gifts off of one of her gift registries. This gift will be given to her at her bridal shower. Now, do I buy another gift for the wedding too?

I haven't a clue here! What is proper etiquette in this situation?

Thanks in advance

A gift and just being there is good enough