Well, it's out in the open now

[VelvetDarkness]

O had an embarrassing moment after Master and I moved in together, I was showing my oldest, bestest (and most totally sexually repressed) friend around our little house and when we got to the bedroom, there was my collar hanging from one of the bedposts. I had been sure there was no kink paraphernalia in there but I was wrong.

She was so cute. She didn't mention it at the time but a while later (after a few glasses of wine) when I thought I was off the hook, she brought it up and asked which of us wore the collar. She knows I am submissive to him but I'm almost certain that she has no concept of what it means in terms of nasty kinky sex and getting my ass flogged regularly.

This is a woman who managed to have 3 kids without ever having an orgasm. One drunken night we were all telling dirty jokes and she confided to me that she never had an O. Being the great friend I am I bought her a 7" silicone vibrator and some ben wah's for her birthday. I also printed out a kind of How To on masturbation.

She had a great time and said that the ben wah's helped to tighten everything up for her after her 3 pregnancies. To this day her partner has no idea that she plays with a vibe when he's not looking. She'd die a death of a thousand cuts before she ever admitted owning the thing to another living soul.

I'm so glad she was ok with my collar though. I was terrified that she'd freak out on a grand scale because I know how conservative she is and I love her dearly anyway. If you had asked me who was the one person I could never, in a million years, come clean about my kink to, I would have said her without hesitation. It was such a relief when she was still ok with me and still my oldest, bestest friend.

 

[kinkyknickers]

I don't reckon anything would surprise my best and closest friends, especially since I think I've had sex in front of or with most of them at some time or another. Albeit a while ago (they've all settled down for the most part now).

I can't say I've bought up over lunch, "Oh by the way I've discovered I love having the arse beaten off me and urinating on men... What have you been up to lately?"
But I'm pretty sure they already have a pretty decent idea considering the company I keep and my penchant for spur of the moment body mods.

Actually, come to think of it, it's common knowledge that I used to fuck my ex boyfriend up the arse with a dildo and he loved it, and there's always alot of talk of anal sex.

They know!

They don't know about my current relationship, but that's different... A knowing smile is always a fun accessory to carry

As for the olds, forget it. There's some things that just aren't going to bring people closer together.

Discovering your filthy kinky side with your closest buds is far more fun than coming out! My mates are awesome.
KK

 

[madetotakeit]

Wow, this was a bump from the past. I remember the experience of course, but the details have already become fuzzy and rather minor. I had to laugh as I read what I wrote almost six months ago. (Has it only been that long?) It's like finding something you wrote in fourth grade. So much innocence there, so much I was still keeping from even myself. I hardly recognize myself from then. I'm already more experienced, more able to admit to myself what I like-what I want, already a bit jaded. It's good to look back and see how far I've come in such a short time and to remind myself that I can be deliriously happy when given a reason.

 

[mickyp123]

O had an embarrassing moment after Master and I moved in together, I was showing my oldest, bestest (and most totally sexually repressed) friend around our little house and when we got to the bedroom, there was my collar hanging from one of the bedposts. I had been sure there was no kink paraphernalia in there but I was wrong.

She was so cute. She didn't mention it at the time but a while later (after a few glasses of wine) when I thought I was off the hook, she brought it up and asked which of us wore the collar. She knows I am submissive to him but I'm almost certain that she has no concept of what it means in terms of nasty kinky sex and getting my ass flogged regularly.

This is a woman who managed to have 3 kids without ever having an orgasm. One drunken night we were all telling dirty jokes and she confided to me that she never had an O. Being the great friend I am I bought her a 7" silicone vibrator and some ben wah's for her birthday. I also printed out a kind of How To on masturbation.

She had a great time and said that the ben wah's helped to tighten everything up for her after her 3 pregnancies. To this day her partner has no idea that she plays with a vibe when he's not looking. She'd die a death of a thousand cuts before she ever admitted owning the thing to another living soul.

I'm so glad she was ok with my collar though. I was terrified that she'd freak out on a grand scale because I know how conservative she is and I love her dearly anyway. If you had asked me who was the one person I could never, in a million years, come clean about my kink to, I would have said her without hesitation. It was such a relief when she was still ok with me and still my oldest, bestest friend.

She'd die a death of a thousand cuts before she ever admitted owning the thing to another living soul.

My lips are sealed, wags tail and fucks off

 

[shy slave]

Most of my friends are in the BDSM scene so 'coming out' is not an issue.

My family know I like kinky sex, and realise it is SM but they have never asked about the D/s dynamic and I have never mentioned it.

Hmm, my family know because my sister found spreader bar, cuffs, clamps etc in my suitcase when I was meeting my ex for the first time; a few weeks later whilst my mother was driving me to the supermarket she started a conversation with 'Your sister said you have nipple clamps...!' There is nowhere to hide with that opening line. I brazened it out, I couldn't figure out what the alternative was.

At a previous work place some people had an astute guess, at my current work place no-one knows, but then personal lives are not a topic for discussion.

------------------------------

I had went to Belfast to see him and after discussion with him elected to pack a cheap lockable set of handcuffs and a paddle, I was only taking hand luggage and I was curious about getting through security. I also wore my collar which is twisted metal, heavy and always sets of the alarm.

Sure enough, the machine bleeped as I walked through. I said to the woman it would be my collar.
As she waved the scanner over me my bag was in the X ray machine.

The man behind the counter looked at my on screen, looked at me and said

'That's a nice collar, does it lock with an allen key?'

I turned looked him straight in the eye, smiled and said 'Yes'

The woman scanning me, stopped suddenly, looked confused and shocked as she said 'You mean you can't take it off?!'

'No' I replied 'I don't have the key'

She was speechless, eventually my bag emerged from the machine and the man behind the counter just smiled as he watched it go down the conveyor belt.

I grinned for ages, then it struck me.

I had got out of England, but I still had to go through it all again at Belfast.

They never batted an eyelid which makes me wonder just how kinky the Irish are.....???

 

[mickyp123]

Most of my friends are in the BDSM scene so 'coming out' is not an issue.

My family know I like kinky sex, and realise it is SM but they have never asked about the D/s dynamic and I have never mentioned it.

Hmm, my family know because my sister found spreader bar, cuffs, clamps etc in my suitcase when I was meeting my ex for the first time; a few weeks later whilst my mother was driving me to the supermarket she started a conversation with 'Your sister said you have nipple clamps...!' There is nowhere to hide with that opening line. I brazened it out, I couldn't figure out what the alternative was.

At a previous work place some people had an astute guess, at my current work place no-one knows, but then personal lives are not a topic for discussion.

------------------------------

I had went to Belfast to see him and after discussion with him elected to pack a cheap lockable set of handcuffs and a paddle, I was only taking hand luggage and I was curious about getting through security. I also wore my collar which is twisted metal, heavy and always sets of the alarm.

Sure enough, the machine bleeped as I walked through. I said to the woman it would be my collar.
As she waved the scanner over me my bag was in the X ray machine.

The man behind the counter looked at my on screen, looked at me and said

'That's a nice collar, does it lock with an allen key?'

I turned looked him straight in the eye, smiled and said 'Yes'

The woman scanning me, stopped suddenly, looked confused and shocked as she said 'You mean you can't take it off?!'

'No' I replied 'I don't have the key'

She was speechless, eventually my bag emerged from the machine and the man behind the counter just smiled as he watched it go down the conveyor belt.

I grinned for ages, then it struck me.

I had got out of England, but I still had to go through it all again at Belfast.

They never batted an eyelid which makes me wonder just how kinky the Irish are.....???

They never batted an eyelid which makes me wonder just how kinky the Irish are.....???

Every time i see the name of their airline it makes me smile, " topping of the morning to you lol"

 

[shy slave]

They never batted an eyelid which makes me wonder just how kinky the Irish are.....???

Every time i see the name of their airline it makes me smile, " topping of the morning to you lol"

Ahh that explains it lol

 

[TeachMeSir]

I am very close to my Mother. We don't get to talk often because of time differences etc, but she is my best friend. However, I would never tell her about my attraction to the BDSM Lifestyle. In fact she wouldn't even know what my fav. poistion is for vanilla sex (it keeps changing anyway & I'm not sure she could keep up). I just feel that my sexuality is private.

I have one vanilla friend I talk to a bit about it and even though she's more of an assertive spiced up instant gratification sort of girl, she does admit to living a little vicariously through me. And other friends I went to visit a few months ago I told a bit to..... I have to admit I'd had a few drinks & was more in it for the shock factor. They have always known me to be the wild one of the group and I knew thay would love me no matter what. I guess I shoudl have used the opportinity to make sure they took me seriously, but then again, they don't love me for my sexuality, so they only care that I am happy. I did at least get to dispel some of their misconceptions such as all BDSM lifstylers being interested in snuff, beastality, extreme pain or whatever .....but they still didn't get the most important part of it for me .. the mind fuck.

 

[madetotakeit]

This is still not something I would discuss with my parents. My father is fine looking at me as his little girl despite my age and anything that threatens that image makes him uncomfortable. My mother and I talk a bit more openly, but it's never goes beyond PG-13 with the occasional foray into R rated talk, but always in a joking manner. My sister, too prim and proper, somethings I just know she couldn't understand. I could see talking about it with my brother if he ever asked, but we get each other. We're both very different but get each other. He could handle it. I had his first sex talk with him after he was caught looking at things my parents were uncomfortable with. I remember how my mom reacted when I was caught reading an adult novel. I wanted to make sure he didn't have that same experience, that he understood sex is natural and absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Aside from feeling awkward, he had a look of relief during our discussion.

I've since talked to my best friend about this. Having been friends for almost 20 years and having been roommates, she knows me better than anyone. She's the one I go to when I need to gush or vent. I gave her the light version. She wasn't surprised in the least and told me as much. Another friend was helping me get things in order after I had the house back to myself. He found a book on BDSM Erotica that I have had for years (I forgot I even owned it.) I saw him pause for a second, but he pretty much ignored it. I casually picked it up and moved it like it was no different than a dictionary. Truthfully, aside from an internal chuckle it wasn't to me, no butterflies, no "oh shit" reaction.

 

[Dreamliner]

I always have the feeling that we know when, where and with whom to discuss these things with. The time and place often just seems to fall into place. Yes, I know there are times when it occurs at an awkward time or place or with certain people we would rather not discuss it with. But, as a broad observation, it occurs when it feels right.

 

[Xelebes]

I only outed myself on my subbinity when I started asking. It was no problem when it came to that.

Coming out on orientation is a different ballgame.

 

[marieR19]

The only family I have around is my mom, and I think she sorta-kinda-might know something (especially since my stepdad caught me reading Macho Sluts a few days ago), but she's never said anything and I'd never tell her outright.

My friends.... Most of my closest friends are from a certain forum that I am a part of, and I think most of them know or having inklings, but since the forum has a semi-strict PG rule, it's nothing that can be talked about openly there. I'm pretty sure most of them can figure it out from knowing the type of stories I write, tho. And I've told the only other lesbian on the board, 'cause we talk often on IM.


Heather

 

[faeriefire]

I don't think anyone I know face-to-face is aware. My family certainly isn't. But that might get a little dicey soon because D/s is something I only recently discovered and I have every intention of becoming involved irl. Hopefully it doesn't become an issue but I am nervous because I'll be living at home for a bit and my folks are not friendly to any mention or acknowledgement of sexuality. I may have to buy a self-locking safe to put my books and computer in when I'm not home. Cuz I'd hate for them to find something and try to put me under house arrest. And they would try too. They did it to my brother when they caught him looking at porn online a few years ago. I will at least be able to tell my hs friends. They are all a little kinky in one way or another lol and have been trying (and usually succeeding) to shock me with their exploits for years. To some degree I think my folks will figure out that something has been realized in me, that I have changed since being away. And I think the self-confidence that has grown with being able to see the subbmissiveness in myself is a very positive thing. In any case, if I am 'outed' I may need someone to storm the tower and break me out lol. So I'll keep my fingers crossed, my mouth sealed, and invest in a good lock. It is comforting to hear that others made smooth transitions with family and friends. And also that some have managed to keep their private lives private. This gives me hope that I will be able to do the same...

 

[culloden]

Interesting thread. I've never been tempted to discuss my sexuality with anyone in the RW other than my wife, or SO back before marriage. It just never crossed my mind as being appropriate dinner conversation. And this from a guy with a drawer full of toys.

 

[callinectes]

None of my friends or family know. They just don't need to know. Lucikly I haven't slipped up yet.

 

[intothewoods]

Close friends know. Thats it.

My big challenge is now is what will I say when my family asks, where did you meet? We met on freaking collarme. I have said "online," and everyone sort of looks at me funny. I'm a horrible liar. It's so clear I'm hiding something! I guess I could just try and say a party or something. Maybe I'll say "a bar." Our meet and greet was at a bar after all, so we did technically "meet" there. A swank hotel bar in the middle of the afternoon, but a bar nonetheless.

 

[BiBunny]

My big challenge is now is what will I say when my family asks, where did you meet? We met on freaking collarme.

This is the only thing I have problems with, too. It's none of my family's business what I do with my partners in the bedroom, but "Where did you two meet?" is a fairly normal question that most people are going to ask at some point. I usually say something like, "He and (insert random female friend's boyfriend here) went to high school together." (I'm 24 and still in college, so I can get away with this excuse. It works pretty well when the guy is from out of town.)

But if anybody has any better suggestions, do spill them here, so I can appropriate them for use later. If I told my kinfolks I met some dude online, they'd think I was nuts.

 

[madetotakeit]

My big challenge is now is what will I say when my family asks, where did you meet? We met on freaking collarme. I have said "online," and everyone sort of looks at me funny. I'm a horrible liar. It's so clear I'm hiding something! I guess I could just try and say a party or something. Maybe I'll say "a bar." Our meet and greet was at a bar after all, so we did technically "meet" there. A swank hotel bar in the middle of the afternoon, but a bar nonetheless.

I used my meet and greet location as where I met the one that was worth knowing whom I actually meet on CM . I don't say I met anyone online simply because of those looks. Out of three men I met online one was just lunch, another has become a good friend, and the third shall from this day forth be known as Satan.

 

[faeriefire]

Yeah, I'm a really lousy liar/evader. I try to stick with the truth, but even if I'm just leaving something out it gets tricky. Horrid poker face. So I really don't know how I'll explain weekly munches and trips to the nearby city once I'm home again. Perhaps I can enlist my brothers' help. They are far more advanced in the art of skillful evasion than I am. But at the end of the day I hate not being able to come right out and tell the truth. However, that route is not happening for many very good reasons. In some cases privacy is good and what I might end up doing is saying 'none of your beeswax' if I'm asked. I'll figure it out and ideally I will not be outed to those who would take umbrance at my choices.