Were you molested as a child?

[The_old_man]

First: Healing hugs to both Prime and Ebonygrrl4you .

Alto I never considered it to be molestation, I was sexualy manipulated by both parents while still in the single digit ages.
I did not then, or do I now believe that it was "Molestation."

Both parents instructed me in genital hygiene and thoroughly answered ANY questions, even some I realy hadn't asked.

I did not find male-male encounters repugnant or "dirty" and to this day find the prejudace against the "Gay" life stile to be an artificial construct of the "Organised Religions." The Oral Roberts and Pat Robertsons of this country have done more to fracture and divide our society than any external enemy ever has.

P.S. I have been maried to the same woman for 52 years and we are still very happily active.

 

[Babydoll5272]

A family reunion

Once a year my family would have a family reunion of distant relatives and these were people we only saw once a year. Well at age 13 I was developing fast my breast were already a D cup and I had a great med build figure so anyway my uncle at the reunion asked if I would like to help him rent some videos not knowing this uncle to well I went. The only thing I knew of this man was he lived in Japan and was a master in Tae Kwondo which as a kid always scared me I dont know why. Anyway he molested me on a deserted road by the side of the cliff! I never told anyone because he was family but the next year he tried again but my male cousin stopped him and come to find out he had molested my cousin too and no one did anything to him.

I developed a HUGE distaste for sex for obvious reasons and felt I was not worthy of love from anyone especially men. Then I went through a phase where I became a little wild and felt I was a slut so I should act like one. The only thing that got me was I was raped.

As to how it has affected me in todays life I thought I had dealt with it and it was in the past. But last summer (2001) we went to the family reunion and I had not been back for about five years. But my great grandmother was Ill and it was her last request to have her whole family there. And sure enough my Uncle was there I was the overwhelming feeling to go over and kill him. He came over and tried to make casual talk with me in front of my family and telling me how beauitful I was and also mentioned how beautiful my daughters were! That sent me into panic mode!!! I would be damned before anyone ever touched and hurt my girls the way I was whenI was young and defenseless! I walked away. Later I cornered him adn told him I had not forgotten what he had done to me adn I would never forget!! He sat there dumb struck!

I now try to counsel woman and girls in my area on the effects of rape and incest to try and help them out!

DOLL

 

[bored1]

Re: A family reunion

Once a year my family would have a family reunion of distant relatives and these were people we only saw once a year. Well at age 13 I was developing fast my breast were already a D cup and I had a great med build figure so anyway my uncle at the reunion asked if I would like to help him rent some videos not knowing this uncle to well I went. The only thing I knew of this man was he lived in Japan and was a master in Tae Kwondo which as a kid always scared me I dont know why. Anyway he molested me on a deserted road by the side of the cliff! I never told anyone because he was family but the next year he tried again but my male cousin stopped him and come to find out he had molested my cousin too and no one did anything to him.

I developed a HUGE distaste for sex for obvious reasons and felt I was not worthy of love from anyone especially men. Then I went through a phase where I became a little wild and felt I was a slut so I should act like one. The only thing that got me was I was raped.

As to how it has affected me in todays life I thought I had dealt with it and it was in the past. But last summer (2001) we went to the family reunion and I had not been back for about five years. But my great grandmother was Ill and it was her last request to have her whole family there. And sure enough my Uncle was there I was the overwhelming feeling to go over and kill him. He came over and tried to make casual talk with me in front of my family and telling me how beauitful I was and also mentioned how beautiful my daughters were! That sent me into panic mode!!! I would be damned before anyone ever touched and hurt my girls the way I was whenI was young and defenseless! I walked away. Later I cornered him adn told him I had not forgotten what he had done to me adn I would never forget!! He sat there dumb struck!

I now try to counsel woman and girls in my area on the effects of rape and incest to try and help them out!

DOLL

Ive always found it interesting that the prepetrators continue to live their lives and try t act as if nothing happened. I went to a family reunion and refused to have anything to do with the 2 pervs who used me as their own little receptical when I was a boy.They just didnt get it.If anyone molested my children and I found out,Im sure I would go to jail.

 

[bored1]

Re: A family reunion

Once a year my family would have a family reunion of distant relatives and these were people we only saw once a year. Well at age 13 I was developing fast my breast were already a D cup and I had a great med build figure so anyway my uncle at the reunion asked if I would like to help him rent some videos not knowing this uncle to well I went. The only thing I knew of this man was he lived in Japan and was a master in Tae Kwondo which as a kid always scared me I dont know why. Anyway he molested me on a deserted road by the side of the cliff! I never told anyone because he was family but the next year he tried again but my male cousin stopped him and come to find out he had molested my cousin too and no one did anything to him.

I developed a HUGE distaste for sex for obvious reasons and felt I was not worthy of love from anyone especially men. Then I went through a phase where I became a little wild and felt I was a slut so I should act like one. The only thing that got me was I was raped.

As to how it has affected me in todays life I thought I had dealt with it and it was in the past. But last summer (2001) we went to the family reunion and I had not been back for about five years. But my great grandmother was Ill and it was her last request to have her whole family there. And sure enough my Uncle was there I was the overwhelming feeling to go over and kill him. He came over and tried to make casual talk with me in front of my family and telling me how beauitful I was and also mentioned how beautiful my daughters were! That sent me into panic mode!!! I would be damned before anyone ever touched and hurt my girls the way I was whenI was young and defenseless! I walked away. Later I cornered him adn told him I had not forgotten what he had done to me adn I would never forget!! He sat there dumb struck!

I now try to counsel woman and girls in my area on the effects of rape and incest to try and help them out!

DOLL

Ive always found it interesting that the prepetrators continue to live their lives and try to act as if nothing happened. I went to a family reunion and refused to have anything to do with the 2 pervs who used me as their own little receptical when I was a boy.They just didnt get it.If anyone molested my children and I found out,Im sure I would go to jail.

 

[Babydoll5272]

I totally understand

Now as an adult and a parent it makes me sooo mad because so many family members knew he had done this to other little girls all my cousins and they have done nothing!

It is terrible what people in this day and age can turn their backs on! I mean if your child was to come to you and tell you a relative had hurt them I am betting 99% would want to kill the relative and would turn them into authorties without thinking about it! But there are always those people out there who prefer to turn a blind eye to things! And unfortunalty we the victims are the ones who suffer a<B> LIFE LONG</B> reprocutions due to their actions! I will never understand some people!

Thanks for your comment it really helps to know people know where you are coming from! And I am truly sorry for your experience even though I know words are never enough!

Hugs
DOLL

 

[Prime]

Babydoll, i understand what you are saying. my wife is pregnant right now with our first child, and about a month ago, we were mugged coming out of a waffle house by 3 guys with guns. now i was willing to give them our money, just so we wouldn't have to deal with them, but when the punched my wife, i lost all control. i broke 3 ribs on 2 of them, and the arm and leg on the other, and when their guns came up, i took one, and shot all three of them, one dying the next day in the hospital.

now I have no idea what i would do if someone EVER molested my child once he/she's born, but judging from that, it will not be pretty, or legal.

 

[Babydoll5272]

Prime

Wow what an awful ordeal the two of you had to face. I totally understand your response you never know what you will do under extreme stress. Please know my thoughts and prayers are with you! and your wife and your unborn baby!

Good luck to your family in your healing process!

Hugs
DOLL

 

[Guest]

Got very angry reading this thread

I am a regular here at these boards, but would like to remain anonymous.

I don't blame anyone here for my anger, I blame the scumbag who molested me and also my mother. When I was 10, my mother the drunk, decided that I was a problem child. With her being divorced, she wanted her weekends to get loaded and sleep her life away. My younger sister stayed with my mother and I was told to stay at the neighbors apartment upstairs.

I was a smart child, basically taking care of my sister and myself, getting us ready for school and so on... in NYC. I had street smarts at a young age. I knew what to look out for and stayed out of trouble... But I was a problem child. I never thought to wonder about myself at the neighbors house.

I won't go into detail, because I really don't want to buy a new computer. I ended up getting molested ... don't remember when ... but it happened and then he gave me $5 and said go get some candy... I remember walking the streets in a daze at 10. I went back home and got my mothers drunk ass out of bed and told her.... SHE DID NOTHING, but I didn't go back up to the neighbors, so I guess she saved me. Until she thought I was being a problem again, when I was taking a bath... she had him come downstairs to repremand me.... nothing happened except extreme embarassment.

I probably saw him face to face 10 times in next 5 yrs till we moved from there to another borough.... I started to drink at 15... when I was 16.. I went back to the old neighborhood... got drunk with some buddies... and I ended up taking care of what ate at me for yrs as a child. He never knew what hit him .... nor did he know who, I never saw him after that, and then I heard he died of AIDS.

To the day I am not happy, because I didn't finish him, he got out very easy for making me feel this anger. And from that day that my "mother" didn't defend me. She has been an outcast to me for a very long time.

Please don't try to say I need therapy, because I know it wasn't my fault. I talked to a preist about it and he just looked at me, put his arm around my shoulder and said try and let go and let your mind be at Peace...... It works because I just thought of the day he said it and I walked out a little more clear minded.

Thanx

 

[alltherage]

Were any of you molested as children? If so what do you think were/are the long term consequences?I was molested by cousins<male> at an early age,It lasted until I was old enough to say no.As I have gotten older I see that I was sexualized at an early age but didnt become oriented until my teens.<I like women>And Im male, Do you think people who molest can be reformed?<I dont think so>

Pediphiles are can not be reformed. I was not molested. I was raped in my late teens and that event shaped me for years to come and it remains a major part of how I see the world.

 

[StormySkies]

I too was molested when I was a young kid. It started when I was around 5 years old and lasted till I was 16. It was by my step dad. I find that I dont trust males that easily now. I would prefer to be around females. I am married and love my husband but it took years for the trust to develope. I also would like to add that I know if I wasnt married that I wouldnt date men at all. Yes it does have lasting effects on a person. And it is very hard to come to terms with what happened not being your fault.

I dont think that someone who molestes children can be reformed. I think they will always be that way. And yes I agree with the person that said that most molesters have been molested themselves as children. But the cylce can be broke. I have 2 wonderful kids of my own and would sooner kill myself than touch them in anyway that would be wrong.
And to the gentelman tha tsaid he doesnt know what he would do to anyone that ever touched his kids. I know I would kill them and then ask questions if there was even the slightest bit of doubt in my mind that is what was going on.

Once you have been there I know you dont want to see anyone else and most importantly your own kids go through it.

Amy

 

[Guest]

I dont think that someone who molestes children can be reformed. I think they will always be that way. And yes I agree with the person that said that most molesters have been molested themselves as children. But the cylce can be broke. I have 2 wonderful kids of my own and would sooner kill myself than touch them in anyway that would be wrong.
And to the gentelman tha tsaid he doesnt know what he would do to anyone that ever touched his kids. I know I would kill them and then ask questions if there was even the slightest bit of doubt in my mind that is what was going on.

Once you have been there I know you dont want to see anyone else and most importantly your own kids go through it.

Amy

If ever I found out anyone touched a hair on any child that I know, he better pray that the authorities find him before I do... I would happily serve time for my actions, knowing that my actions would be justified. Knowing that the person that hurt the child will no longer be able to harm again

 

[goneb4dawn]

I don't think that sex offenders can be reformed. I was molested when I was six by a fifteen year old family member, I never had any problems when it came down to actually having sex, but i'm finding more and more that I can't be affectionate (i.e. cuddling) afterwards. I have always had a problem sleeping with other people in the same bed as me (whether sex is involved or not) since i was molested.

 

[CHEWEY]

Ebonygrrl4you

Girl, I understand exactly what your talking about! I also was abused at an early age. By my granfather, whom I worship to this day. It happened to every girl in the family, our "little secret". It left me very mistrustful of men. My poor hubby, it took him 15 years to get me to trust him. I still do not trust most men and there is no way in hell, old men will ever get close enough to touch me. I am not a hugger, never have been, but I am learning with my grandkids. My son is like I am, my daughter is a hugger and gets very annoyed that I am not. But , things happen that really are out of our control, specially when we are small. I have never explained to my daughter, why I am not. But, my twin did her girls and they all talk. But, it will get better as time goes by, believe it or not Never give up trying, if you do, your molesters have won! Never again will any man have that kind of control over me!

 

[Guest]

Was molested. Forget exact age, do know it was prior to 6th grade. The guy was probably 30ish. He called me into his store, took me outback, said some things, and performed oral sex on me. Kinda have mixed feelings about it looking back. I wasn't scared, felt it was wrong, never told parents, and I never went back either.

Next encounter I was 17. Woman in her 30's perfomed oral on me. Legal or not, I knew exactly what was happening, and I couldn't see turning something like that down. LOL.

Has it affected me? I don't know. Men, not into. Women, love to look, but not really interested. Hate to be touched.

Reformed? Doubt it. Once one, always one.

 

[zantac666]

I dated a girl that was fondled by her father and then raped her when she was 15 she was 19 when we met and it took 6 months before we had sex i dd not know about the rape until after we had sex.

I just waited until she was ready and when she was she came out of the bathroom of my place nude and wow was she fine. but i took it nice and slow.

Buti had a 13 year old female cousin teach me about sex one summer i was only 9 and very dumb about sex but learneda lot.

 

[dvonia]

Hi everyone, this is my first post and I love it here. Quite a diverse bunch, to say the least ;o)

An 8 year old is molested. A fifteen year old is just swindled into cheap sex. If it's rape, it's rape, but someone that old should have some clue to what they are doing and what the possible consequences are. You can leave "bad touch" at the door of high school. Rape, sexual assault, sexual harassment, those can definetely happen. But "molestation" is just ridiculous.

Of course, a man conning a woman into bed is pretty shitty thing to do, but it would be so whether shes 17 or 37.

I can only speak from firsthand experience, so I have no idea how other teens sexual relationships are with older men. At 14, I was going through a traumatic time in my life. I was still trying to figure out who I was and what to expect out of life, not to mention a rocky relationship with my parents. At that time, I had met someone on the Internet after responding to a seemingly innocent question. After a year of telephone conversations, I thought he was everything that was missing from my life. Desperate to change my life, I ran away to be with him. Imagine my shock when I saw that he was 3 times the age he stated to be. Being naive and not wanting to accept the reality, I still believed him and I allowed him to take my virginity. I did so willingly but looking back I am finally able to realize how charming and deceitful his lies were. It took me several years to be able to even think about how badly he toyed with my emotions and vulnerablity. I am still unable to talk about that time in my life freely, I have told few people about it. I feel that if I do, I will be judged and not taken seriously.
Furthermore, I have no idea what an adult man would have in common with a teenage girl. They cannot possibly be on the same mentality levels. I am only speaking of men beyond their 30's. And, yes, women are conned into sex later in life but usually men do not prey on their naivete or lack of experience as they do with young girls.

Well, I just had to vent
dvonia

 

[zantac666]

dvonia

Sorry some ass did that to you.

Welcome to the lit. hope you have fun hear there are a lot of nice peope hear.

 

[BrownEyes26]

Hey, I love this place!! There are always great subjects on the boards!!
At age three, myself and three other girls were molested by the babysitter. My father began entering my room when I was ten, a year after he had been entering my sister's room. It all ended when mom found out.
It has affected my life, especially my sex life. I have casual sex. Usually, I initiate and am always drunk. Real intimacy is a dream for me. Trust does not occur in my world. As with some other ladies that have responded to this thread, I prefer to hang around with women, and have few men friends.
Reformed?? I don't know about that. I will never trust my father with my children, even though he has served time and done his counselling. I think that the urge will still be there.
That's my two cents...