What Are You Thinking? Continued 14

[crazychemgirl]

I guess thanks?

This is something I have to remind myself of often …. That no one can “make” you feel anything.

I often get frustrated or mad at things and then I have to take a step back and wonder if that feeling is serving me at all. What is the core of it … is it something I can avoid? Something I can fix? Something that maybe wouldn’t happen if I admitted to the person who inspired that feeling in me that it’s how it makes me feel.

 

[RosewoodTulip]

it’s ok to feel whatever you’re feeling … but you need to own the emotions and not blame others for them.

I own all the emotions
Yours too!
No take backsies!

 

[SmokingFap]

This is something I have to remind myself of often …. That no one can “make” you feel anything.

I often get frustrated or mad at things and then I have to take a step back and wonder if that feeling is serving me at all. What is the core of it … is it something I can avoid? Something I can fix? Something that maybe wouldn’t happen if I admitted to the person who inspired that feeling in me that it’s how it makes me feel.

That's a sensible and healthy approach to things. But when I get kicked squarely in the balls, I'm going to blame that person for the pain.

 

[crazychemgirl]

That's a sensible and healthy approach to things. But when I get kicked squarely in the balls, I'm going to blame that person for the pain.

Yeah I get it 100% … and sometimes people are just assholes (hello USA president)

 

[LupineOne]

Well, back to the drawing board.
And here come at least 11 days in a row.

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

This is something I have to remind myself of often …. That no one can “make” you feel anything.

I often get frustrated or mad at things and then I have to take a step back and wonder if that feeling is serving me at all. What is the core of it … is it something I can avoid? Something I can fix? Something that maybe wouldn’t happen if I admitted to the person who inspired that feeling in me that it’s how it makes me feel.

My own perspective is that people can make me feel things, my biochemistry isn’t completely under my control.

I get to decide how I react though. And in that I try to decide if someone’s actively making me feel worse, which kinda makes them a jerk that I don’t wanna associate with. Or is just not making me feel better. Which really ain’t most folks job and I need to check myself on that. But this is just a rough guideline and YMMV

 

[Wand3rlust]

I'm sorry you feel like that. I often feel that way from the other side. Like I'm a temporary amusement until someone more interesting comes along. Conversations that have lasted months suddenly dry up out of nowhere. But maybe that's just what Lit is at its root?

Anyway. You seem to be a good dude. Don't let it get you down too much okay?

Exactly this, Rosie.

 

[Hornymwtxn]

I need to keep reminding myself that I'm not special, that I'm just another guy to chat with if a woman is bored or lonely or just wants to get off with whoever is available.

I am happy if I get an assist.
Whether it be a one time thing or a regular thing.

I don't need to score every single time.

I am ok with being Mr. Right Now

 

[Wand3rlust]

My own perspective is that people can make me feel things, my biochemistry isn’t completely under my control.

I get to decide how I react though. And in that I try to decide if someone’s actively making me feel worse, which kinda makes them a jerk that I don’t wanna associate with. Or is just not making me feel better. Which really ain’t most folks job and I need to check myself on that. But this is just a rough guideline and YMMV

This is the one. Everyone is entitled to feel how they feel. Own it, and then let it go. Do what YOU need to do

 

[MrMakersMark]

My own perspective is that people can make me feel things, my biochemistry isn’t completely under my control.

I get to decide how I react though. And in that I try to decide if someone’s actively making me feel worse, which kinda makes them a jerk that I don’t wanna associate with. Or is just not making me feel better. Which really ain’t most folks job and I need to check myself on that. But this is just a rough guideline and YMMV

Right.
People make us feel things literally all the time throughout each social interaction, in a field of the million interactions throughout life.

If people are unable to make you feel, intentionally or not, then you are either comatose or a sociopath.

Wisdom of self is what controls our perception and separates our responses to given stimuli.

I.e., I may have desperately wanted to push my thumb into your eye socket, but I chose the other path in the road.

And we grow.

 

[crazychemgirl]

Right.
People make us feel things literally all the time throughout each social interaction, in a field of the million interactions throughout life.

If people are unable to make you feel, intentionally or not, then you are either comatose or a sociopath.

Wisdom of self is what controls our perception and separates our responses to given stimuli.

I.e., I may have desperately wanted to push my thumb into your eye socket, but I chose the other path in the road.

And we grow.

What about both thumbs?

 

[Bry1313]

it’s ok to feel whatever you’re feeling … but you need to own the emotions and not blame others for them.

But what if I want to blame @OrdinaryPerson

 

[MrMakersMark]

What about both thumbs?

Well I thought perhaps of using the other for balance, better enabling the use of a leg to punt-fuck.

But..yes...I like where your head went.
It's your canvas.

Good thoughts..

Good stuff.

 

[crazychemgirl]

But what if I want to blame @OrdinaryPerson

So mean.

 

[MrMakersMark]

But what if I want to blame @OrdinaryPerson

 

[Photog1rl]

Advice is so easy to give but can be much harder to follow.
To surgery or no…

 

[TXRafe]

it’s ok to feel whatever you’re feeling … but you need to own the emotions and not blame others for them.

https://media1.tenor.com/m/7KjzRI5pXsYAAAAC/ted-lasso-tedlassogifs.gif
and that's why we are on ignore

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

I.e., I may have desperately wanted to push my thumb into your eye socket, but I chose the other path in the road.

Having this desire still makes a you a bit of a sociopath. Even if you reject it.

 

[Mei5ter]

Conversations that have lasted months suddenly dry up out of nowhere. But maybe that's just what Lit is at its root?

I'm not sure. Can't those conversations stsrt up again?

I met up with a friend in the pub last weekend. Hadn't seen him for a few weeks. We had a really good catch up over a couple of pints. I now probably won't see him again for a few weeks, but when we do we'll catch up again. A few weeks of not talking in between doesn't break the friendship.

In the past, I've sensed that some people on Lit have felt I don't want to talk to them anymore when there's been a break in messaging. It's usually not that at all. I'm just used to my friendships being fuelled by a series of individual conversations with pauses in between.

 

[MrMakersMark]

Having this desire still makes a you a bit of a sociopath. Even if you reject it.

 

[RosewoodTulip]

I'm not sure. Can't those conversations stsrt up again?

I met up with a friend in the pub last weekend. Hadn't seen him for a few weeks. We had a really good catch up over a couple of pints. I now probably won't see him again for a few weeks, but when we do we'll catch up again. A few weeks of not talking in between doesn't break the friendship.

In the past, I've sensed that some people on Lit have felt I don't want to talk to them anymore when there's been a break in messaging. It's usually not that at all. I'm just used to my friendships being fuelled by a series of individual conversations with pauses in between.

It's more a sudden change than an expectation of constant contact.

Like for an example you and I often go a few weeks without a message but can then spend a few days chatting pretty regularly about all sorts but that's what it's always been like since we started talking and therefore that's ok.
It's when someone I talk to daily suddenly drops to every few days or every few weeks with no apparent reason that I end up feeling like a placeholder.

And god I've been guilty of this lately I know I have. I haven't been well and haven't had the energy to really reply to people but I'm working on trying to rebuild my friendships as best I can.

 

[SmokingFap]

I am happy if I get an assist.
Whether it be a one time thing or a regular thing.

I don't need to score every single time.

I am ok with being Mr. Right Now

To each their own. And I'm not talking about "scoring" every time. That's almost never the reason I talk to anyone on here.

 

[Hornymwtxn]

To each their own. And I'm not talking about "scoring" every time. That's almost never the reason I talk to anyone on here.

Alrighty then.

 

[Photog1rl]

It's more a sudden change than an expectation of constant contact.

Like for an example you and I often go a few weeks without a message but can then spend a few days chatting pretty regularly about all sorts but that's what it's always been like since we started talking and therefore that's ok.
It's when someone I talk to daily suddenly drops to every few days or every few weeks with no apparent reason that I end up feeling like a placeholder.

And god I've been guilty of this lately I know I have. I haven't been well and haven't had the energy to really reply to people but I'm working on trying to rebuild my friendships as best I can.

The advice I have been given, with respect to Lit, is that this is how people let others down gently. There seems to be a reservation to telling someone directly that you are no longer interested in chatting with them. I've had this conversation with multiple people and folks seem to really believe this fading away is “nicer” than saying something directly. I vehemently disagree. I'd much rather hear that I was not someone else’s cup of tea or that we had run its course than be left to ruminate on what happened.

The bottom line is that lack of communication, be it poor communication, partial communication or slow ghosting, sucks. I think folks need to be straight up and say what is happening. No one needs more reasons to second guess themselves. I am sorry that this has been your experience. You are definitely not alone.

And I also have been a bad communicator-not because I ghost folks until they get the hint but because I don't always check my PM’s, sometimes I dont have time to listen or record an audio and my in person life can take up all of my energy and I don't prioritize my online conversations. I am a work in progress though so I continue to try and improve and I'm gentle with myself about it. I know my intentions are good and anyone that knows me knows that too.

 

[cactusjack0584]

I think I lost a Lit friend because I’m a fucking moron.