What do you wish you had been taught about sex in school?

[Eilan]

I've read way too many internet comments from people who don't think certain kinds of rape "count."

Well, when our elected officials hold these views, what else can we expect?

 

[NippleMuncher]

I've read way too many internet comments from people who don't think certain kinds of rape "count."

Well, when our elected officials hold these views, what else can we expect?

It's kind of a prerequisite for being a Republican, isn't it?

 

[Eilan]

It's kind of a prerequisite for being a Republican, isn't it?

Yeah, it's pretty much in the handbook.

 

[eudaemonia]

Not that I hadn't already figured it out on my own by the time the sex ed. module of our mandatory Health class rolled around but it would've been instructive for my peers to be told point blank that "real sex" is neither synonymous with nor limited to PIV activity. (But maybe things in the classroom have gotten a lot more frank in 30 years??)

I would elaborate more if not for the TOS so feel free to PM me, OP.

I'd also suggest instruction on the latest findings on anatomy, especially female anatomy, w/r/t to pleasure centers if you can get away with it.

 

[skimpycloud]

I wish I'd been told that the first time would be completely rubbish, and that it gets better with maturity and trust.

I was 18 when I first slept with someone, and it was dull. I had quite an active imagination and knew myself very well, but the real thing was a disappointment until I had a proper relationship with someone who could actually be bothered to watch and listen to my responses, and me his.

I also wish there had been more on the emotional side of it. When I was at school, sex was seen as purely procreative, nothing else. Don't get me wrong, if I had been told it was the stuff of romantic movies, I'd have been equally disappointed.

 

[philos]

Yeah, I've been thinking a great deal about consent and autonomy. Really seems to be the issue in many cases. But not an easy thing to achieve and understand as an adult much less to teach to teens.

 

[GrrlFriday]

I was told once that some girls will allegedly 'cry 'rape!'' if the sex is merely unsatisfying... So, yes. Consent is really important. It can be powerfully sexy in that 'I choose to do this with YOU.'

It might be worthwhile asking your librarian for what kinds of books are available, and what topics they cover - give the kids a list of books or 'places to go for more information'. They might be willing to borrow or read a book during lunchtime or google up scarleteen.com looking for information that they just don't feel comfortable asking in front of the class. Are sex education websites blacklisted at your school?

 

[philos]

I've been thinking a great deal about being sexy. It seems like the only ones who are allowed are young, thin, girls. Socially we're programming everyone to limit sexuality to these few. How do the rest of us reclaim our sexiness and allow it in others. Mature breasts are sexy even if they aren't as firm or perky as they once were. Yet the reaction is so negative that some feel they need to have surgery just to feel good about them.

 

[southern_gal]

I've been thinking a great deal about being sexy. It seems like the only ones who are allowed are young, thin, girls. Socially we're programming everyone to limit sexuality to these few. How do the rest of us reclaim our sexiness and allow it in others. Mature breasts are sexy even if they aren't as firm or perky as they once were. Yet the reaction is so negative that some feel they need to have surgery just to feel good about them.

This says so much. When I was a twenty something I enjoyed being busty but as I got older and the other parts of me caught up with the boobs, my self esteem (sexually) got lower and I rarely wanted to even try to feel, let alone act, sexy. I have gotten more comfortable in the last couple of years about who I am and what I look like. It would have been nice to hear it more often in those formative years that some of us are not going to look like Barbie and that it is ok anyway.
Something else that I wish I could have been exposed to is the idea that same sex relations is not going to bring about the end of life as I know it. For years I have supressed feelings and emotions that, even as an adult, I just felt like they were wrong simply because that is the only way I was taught to feel from such a young age. It is amazing what geography and culture are like from one area to the next.

 

[Emerson40]

1) Consent is a biggie. And the responsibilities that come along with the granting of, or being given such consent.
2) Respect. For themselves as well as for those they are discussing / considering / having sex with.
3) Acceptance. Kids are attracted to opposite sex, same sex, tall people, fat people, different races, and all variations in between. Some will experiment and explore several different things to better understand their own sexuality. Teach acceptance and tolerance of these differences. Bullies suck
4) Keep ALL religious ideology out of the class. Religious studies is where that stuff belongs. Telling a kid that having sex before marriage, or with someone of the same sex will keep him out of heaven is absurd and antiquated thinking.

 

[knot_sweet]

My SO is a teacher who oddly enough faced this question earlier in the year.

He started by asking the kids to name all the slang names for penis, vagina and sex. It got all the giggling and silliness over with pretty quick, especially when he listed a couple they hadn't heard of.

His next step was to ask the kids what they thought they knew about sex, then elaborate what they knew. Most of the kids knew about condoms and the pill but didn't know that the pill is ineffective with excess alcohol or certain medications, or that there is more than one kind of condom.

He also debunked a lot of the porn video ideas that had been absorebed. Like the idea that spit is good lubricant, girls love cum baths, all guys can go for ages and that oral sex is easy.

He basically used the kids themselves as a guideline. I don't know if you can use this approach, I'm not sure of your school's sex ed policy.

 

[Duracell10]

I went to a Catholic school so all I was told is don't do it. It certainly made for an interesting first time.

 

[culloden]

Yeah, it's pretty much in the handbook.

Bullshit.

 

[C2W]

---

the one thing that I wish that they would've taught in sex ed, (if they'd have had sex ed when i was in school) would be how to have an orgasm without having to ejaculate. Coulda got a lot more oral sex from the girls.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Our sex-ed was mostly about AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS (mid-late '80s, no surprise there). They taught us about condoms but then told us that "even if you use twenty condoms, it's just too dangerous to have sex with somebody with AIDS".

Things I wish they'd covered:

Much more about the emotional baggage that accompanies sex.

Notions of consent.

Informed discussion about options other than PiV. (Well, we did acknowledge the existence of male-male anal sex, because AIDS.)

Existence of STIs other than AIDS, because there are plenty of other things that will fuck you up and are easier to catch.

 

[silverwhisper]

philos, are you still teaching this class? and how's it been going?

ed

 

[1nut1der]

the one thing that I wish that they would've taught in sex ed, (if they'd have had sex ed when i was in school) would be how to have an orgasm without having to ejaculate. Coulda got a lot more oral sex from the girls.

You figured out how to do that? Do tell C2W, Do tell.....

 

[eudaemonia]

philos, are you still teaching this class? and how's it been going?

^^^ This.

 

[C2W]

---

hey 1nut1der,

nah, didn't say I figured it out, I said I wish that they woulda taught it.
Back when I started school sex ed was just beginning to be taught in college.

 

[1Browneyedguy]

It's funny

There was a movie http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Girl_next_door

and the end result was a film made for teaching high school kids about sex...

 

[Eilan]

Bullshit.

Nope.

 

[IvyMae]

When I was in high school, the teacher that I had told the class that premarital sex was "wrong" and "classy people don't have sex until they are married."

Instead I wish he would have said something along the lines of "yes, you should very careful and think things through. But sex is a natural part of life. Doing it won't make you dirty or wrong. It's completely natural." I wasn't bothered by the way he taught, but I could see how it could really effect some people. I think it's wrong to tell kinds what he did. It's not fair to make them feel guilty when something natural happens to them.

Hope this helps

 

[Darkmind70]

Better sex ed would have made me a lot less uptight about it. I still can't relax enough to cum in my wife's mouth. That said, I do go down on her a lot to make up for it.

 

[pplwatching]

Nope.

I'm not a Republican, but I've met some fine people who are that defy the stereotypes that Democrats and the media go out of their way to paint. I guess haters always gonna hate, and big money's always gonna manipulate.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I advised my kids to have fun and dont bring home anything that I gotta feed.