What does safe sane and consensual mean

[Recidiva]

afraid or excited by the thought?

What if you're neither afraid or excited, but just thinking it's a bad idea to set "not dying" as a goal rather than "achieve pleasure for self"

 

[Kajira Callista]

What if you're neither afraid or excited, but just thinking it's a bad idea to set "not dying" as a goal rather than "achieve pleasure for self"

anything that comes before "not dying" would be pleasureable?

*shrug*

I happen to be opposed to limiting myself, the dying thing was my way of expressing that.

 

[Recidiva]

anything that comes before "not dying" would be pleasureable?

*shrug*

I happen to be opposed to limiting myself, the dying thing was my way of expressing that.

I think the limits you care capable of imposing on yourself are the most alluring.

Self control to me is a huge turn on, so being disciplined and NOT going after certain things that you know to be defined as harmful to yourself or others (unless there's a slight harm, big payoff) is something I lean toward. I'm much less a person that would have a rope and tie someone up, I prefer to ask them to place their hand on the wall and not move it, and of course push until it's moved...somehow. And really admire someone if despite all provocation, that damned hand is still against the wall. Trembling, sweating, but damn, still right there. Mostly the focus on will is what I enjoy. I'm with a partner, my husband, and we both are big on will, dignity, self restraint, so there's a lot of things out of bounds for us, in order to preserve the integrity of a marriage. So sacrifices made to preserve and maintain a committed relationship are part and parcel to what we consider to be sexy in each other. I'm pretty sure if one of us had an affair, the other one would consider it some sort of self-control triumph. "Hah! I held out longer than you! In your face!" Then we'd renegotiate or something. I'm holding out for his first slip up so I can demand my harem. But I had a conversation with him yesterday about having an affair and it goes something like this:

Me: "Dude, you have the best set up, you work at a hotel. You could have women there all the time. Hell, you invited me there when I first met you and you were married. It was your idea. I could probably have an online affair if I wiped out every possible trail, I'm sure I could, but I'd have to tell you eventually. My downfall. And who wants to do that much work?"
Him: "Yeah, but I'm just not motivated. And people are just soooo stupid. They're no fun."

Anyway, I didn't take your immediate response literally, I just think it's interesting to see where people choose to place their boundaries, metaphorically or literally

 

[Kajira Callista]

Anyway, I didn't take your immediate response literally, I just think it's interesting to see where people choose to place their boundaries, metaphorically or literally

I have posted this before, but i will again for you. i define my limits by the limits of the Dominant i belong to. They arent a very big issue to me because trust would be in place way before any type of play occurred. Guess I am just an old fashioned girl eh?

 

[Recidiva]

I have posted this before, but i will again for you. i define my limits by the limits of the Dominant i belong to. They arent a very big issue to me because trust would be in place way before any type of play occurred. Guess I am just an old fashioned girl eh?

I'm the same way, I alter for each partner because I enjoy them being comfortable and happy. They all assume I'm just naturally this way, so I guess it's an organic process that just happens.

 

[Kajira Callista]

I'm the same way, I alter for each partner because I enjoy them being comfortable and happy. They all assume I'm just naturally this way, so I guess it's an organic process that just happens.

I think thats called submission

 

[Recidiva]

I think thats called submission

Y'think?

They never believe it though. cracks me up.

 

[A Desert Rose]

I have posted this before, but i will again for you. i define my limits by the limits of the Dominant i belong to. They arent a very big issue to me because trust would be in place way before any type of play occurred. Guess I am just an old fashioned girl eh?

this is be my answer too, except to add that whatever my limits are, no one cares besides me and my Honcho.

 

[FurryFury]

that's the funniest post ive read so far, same here lol
littleone

Glad you understand and are free of your ex too!

Fury

 

[MechaBlade]

Sane means with a clear mind. Not under any drug influence. Not while tired or unconcentrated. Not while angry at the other person. Not while having any other irrational feelings.

I thought that "sane" was subjective and referring to activities that seemed outrageous, but this makes much more sense.

 

[cati]

A great article for those interested.

http://www.coolcatdaddy.com/cyrwyn/SafeSane.html