twelveoone
ground zero
- Joined
- Mar 13, 2004
- Posts
- 5,882
we have a different def on story, I'm fine with that, and pleased you respondedTo me, it is a story - that of someone feeling isolated and subsequently as though his/her actions have little impact on the outside world, so why bother making any effort?
Traditional stories tend to have beginnings and endings in which the in between is usually comprised of conflicts between opposing forces and events happening which culminate in changes and resolutions - a shift in overall reality.
A story about nothing changing is best told with the begining and ending remaining the same. This one starts out with I and ends with I and throughout there is just existence from start to finish in the form of coping with the absence of "her". No shift. Reality stays the same.
Futher details about "her" or of anything else independent of I would really defeat the story.
The repetative I's also set the reader up for a sense of isolation.
It flows without any interruption in the momentum throughout, almost to the point of monotony:
which reinforces the entire story.
I would rate it 5 ..... which I just did.
poetry requires a greater degree of thinking on both ends than some people think
Thanks for the quote