What Is Normal

[danigrl84]

Nothing and everything is normal.....

 

[DVS]

Nothing and everything is normal.....

Oooh, that's deep. Far out, man.

 

[midwestyankee]

I have been lurking around here so much that I don't see bdsm as abnormal at all... Sometimes I forget other people's nerve ends could be a lot more delicate

If normal is missionary once a week, who wants to be normal?

The guy who's lucky to get only missionary once a month.

 

[Kajira Callista]

When I figure out how to express. "normal" I will let you know what it means in my world









Then you will be confused all over again

 

[ericjayson]

Most "normal" people have society stuck up their ass and that's as kinky as they get.

lol

good one, thanks for that

 

[CurvAppeal]

"Normal" is nearly impossible to define, because each person - and each relationship - has his/her/its own benchmark for normalcy. What you more likely need to define <FOR YOURSELF> is what is satisfying for you, and then seek a partner (or partnerS) who can and will meet those requirements.

As for your (apparently former) friend, even at 19, I'm sure you've previously run into people with whom you had a fundamental difference in outlook, whether sexual, socio-political, racial, etc., and essentially kept them on the outside of, or totally unrelated to, your life. She may have to be "moved" to that circle.

As Stella says above, though, there are a lot of people who do not, cannot, and will not accept alternative sexuality... even some of those who actually practice it or dream about it in the depths of the night. Soooo... she's right. Get used to keeping your own counsel about your desires until and unless you are pretty damned sure that the person(s) to whom you hope to reveal them will be at least accepting that you know what it is that you want and can handle it.

As for learning about, discussing, and sharing thoughts about Dominance and submission, and the rest of the rainbow that makes up the BDSM world, you've wandered into one of the absolute best places in the internet to do so. I've been doing D/s and S/M for more than 40 years (yeah, I'm an OLD fucker! ), and have not found a more accepting, knowledgeable, and sharing group than the folks who inhabit this forum and the Café (right next door). Welcome to our world - it's the young folks like you who will (and are) inherit(ing) it and who will take it into the future. Feel free to ask questions (The only dumb question is the one you fail to ask!) and share your thoughts, dreams and laughs (you'll find a lot of those in the Café!) with us, as we share them with each other - and you.

Welcome.

I agree, you absolutely cannot define normal.

 

[caw1265]

"Normal" is nearly impossible to define, because each person - and each relationship - has his/her/its own benchmark for normalcy. What you more likely need to define <FOR YOURSELF> is what is satisfying for you, and then seek a partner (or partnerS) who can and will meet those requirements.

As for your (apparently former) friend, even at 19, I'm sure you've previously run into people with whom you had a fundamental difference in outlook, whether sexual, socio-political, racial, etc., and essentially kept them on the outside of, or totally unrelated to, your life. She may have to be "moved" to that circle.

As Stella says above, though, there are a lot of people who do not, cannot, and will not accept alternative sexuality... even some of those who actually practice it or dream about it in the depths of the night. Soooo... she's right. Get used to keeping your own counsel about your desires until and unless you are pretty damned sure that the person(s) to whom you hope to reveal them will be at least accepting that you know what it is that you want and can handle it.

As for learning about, discussing, and sharing thoughts about Dominance and submission, and the rest of the rainbow that makes up the BDSM world, you've wandered into one of the absolute best places in the internet to do so. I've been doing D/s and S/M for more than 40 years (yeah, I'm an OLD fucker! ), and have not found a more accepting, knowledgeable, and sharing group than the folks who inhabit this forum and the Café (right next door). Welcome to our world - it's the young folks like you who will (and are) inherit(ing) it and who will take it into the future. Feel free to ask questions (The only dumb question is the one you fail to ask!) and share your thoughts, dreams and laughs (you'll find a lot of those in the Café!) with us, as we share them with each other - and you.

Welcome.

I think Sir Winston put it quite well. Normal is a word people use to describe the way they want things to be. "Normal" is perceived quite differently from person to person. Because normal is what each person wants it to be, that essentially means that it does not exist; it is simply a perception, and quite usually a false one.

My advice: Forget about your friend. You are young and will meet many more throughout your life. I have little tolerance for closed-minded people; they tend to make the world a far worse place than it needs to be.

I wish you the best, and I hope that you can find some answers and support here on the forums.

~C

 

[ericjayson]

I have little tolerance for closed-minded people; they tend to make the world a far worse place than it needs to be.

So you are close-minded when it comes to close-minded people?

 

[caw1265]

Precisely

 

[Stella_Omega]

So you are close-minded when it comes to close-minded people?

"Tolerance" means that you have considered them, one way or another. "Little tolerance" means that you do not feel the need to consider them much further, based on previous considerations.

"close minded" means that you refuse to consider something at all.

So, no.

 

[ericjayson]

I have little tolerance for pedants. So STFU.

 

[ericjayson]

Ahhh, just kidding...you go, girl

 

[ImOnIt]

Smooooth Operator

 

[Stella_Omega]

I have little tolerance for pedants. So STFU.

Ahhh, just kidding...you go, girl

backpeddling is so attractive!

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

When trying to define "Normal" consider this:

Nor ~Used before the second or further of two or more alternatives (the first being introduced by a negative such as “neither” or “not”) to indicate that they are each untrue or each do not happen.

Mal ~bad or badly; wrong or wrongly; imperfect or defective: maladjusted ; malfunction [Old French, from Latin malus bad, male badly]


Maybe we can agree that normal is just "not bad" and leave it at that.

 

[ericjayson]

backpeddling is so attractive!

I'm not particularly interested in being attractive!

 

[ImOnIt]

I'm not particularly interested in being attractive!

Just go with your instinct and you'll do just fine.

 

[ericjayson]

now that's just crazy talk!

 

[cfuhrer]

Horrors! Freud was right!

I don't agree with much ole Sigmund had to say but I do particularly care for his supposed stance on sexual normalcy:
"The only abberant sexual behavior is none at all"

 

[Stella_Omega]

I don't agree with much ole Sigmund had to say but I do particularly care for his supposed stance on sexual normalcy:
"The only abberant sexual behavior is none at all"

He was wrong about that as well-- plenty of folk are perfectly happy and fulfilled without sexual contact. they call themselves "Aces."

 

[Wataru_Gin]

My friend and I got into an argument today because she found out that I like to be dominated. She found out because She tried to set me up with her brother and I had to tell her that I would not be interested because he was not the type of guy that could dominate anyone. She asked what I mean by that and I told her about my preferences. She told me that she could not be associate with people that was not normal...
What the Fuck is normal?

Not sure if this was said yet, but your friend may have just throw out the word "normal" because she's protective of her brother. She got defensive when you essentially told her that her brother wasn't what you were looking for or interested in -- aka, "not good enough." She was probably just lashing out defensively.

 

[Honed_Hunger]

In the broadest sense.........one's perception of ''normal'' is as unique to them as their own finger print.

It's personal point of view, graded on one's curve of life experiences. Plus ............expect the definition to be everchanging in nature, as we grow and learn more about the world we live in,as well as ourselves.

 

[mrtomthumb]

normal is...

whatever I say it is.

 

[littlebitsexy]

I would like to thank everyone for your input and support. I have thought long and hard about the idea of being what she calls normal. If normal is the status quo I prefer abnormal. Life is short. I feel I should live life my way not how someone else feels I should live it. As long as I am happy with the results is what matters.

 

[DVS]

I would like to thank everyone for your input and support. I have thought long and hard about the idea of being what she calls normal. If normal is the status quo I prefer abnormal. Life is short. I feel I should live life my way not how someone else feels I should live it. As long as I am happy with the results is what matters.

This is normal for you. Don't worry about anything else.