What Makes a Poem Erotic?

[Dillinger]

I agree with WS - Risia, that is a great description... thank you! And you managed to say it quite clearly and concisely. *smile*

I know I still owe a response to a few of the posts on this thread. I find that posting a well-thought out and complete response on the topics here on this board takes a great deal more time than a quick post or two to the General Board. These days much of my posting here is done while multitasking work... either in between assignments/projects or while on teleconferences...

I haven't forgotten.. I will get to it.

 

[Guest]

Dillinger

You asked me what I thought made a poem erotic? But, I guess what I need to explain first is what erotica is to me. I think for every person there will be many different viewpoints about this. I've seen several of them already.

Erotica is a picture, or a word, or many words, a movement or even just a hint of movement, maybe even no movement at all. It could be a quick glance at another pair of eyes looking your way then moving just as quickly away when you see each other watching each other. Erotica can also be those same eyes looking right back at you and into your very soul, your deepest part of life. And, erotica can also be the memory of a gentle breeze that you felt as you were walking along hand in hand with the love of your life - that memory, of course, being triggered by another delicious breeze which sets the original memory into motion once again.

But, erotica can also be memories conjured up without having felt any of those things in reality at all, either. You can create memories of erotica from your dreams, your hopes, your desires. Maybe that gentle breeze you felt that created havoc inside your body is from a made-up memory that you want to feel so badly, that you have wondered how it will feel. Does this make sense to you?

What some people find erotic, some don't. What I find erotic maybe doesn't compare to what you feel either. For me, sitting down to a meal and remembering something from long ago connected with a particular type of food causes erotic feelings inside me. Maybe it's the knowledge that I've spoken with someone about this very type of food recently and that person makes me melt until I am no longer a person at all, I'm a liquid flowing along feeling so euphoric that I don't want to be human at all - I want to be so fluid that I can get to him by any means necessary. Do you understand what I’m trying to get across to you? A simple thing like a meatloaf sandwich has become very erotic to me of late. I won't say why, but it does.

I think what I'm trying to say and to even understand myself are the different degrees of erotica. I don't need to hear words to feel erotic. I don't need to have the person next to me to feel erotic. It, most of the time, comes down to the memory created inside my own mind about how I feel about something. That in turn comes to the front again, when I read someone's words and can feel them penetrate my very being, my very mind, to bring those images to me once again. Erotica is all about feelings, emotions, and how they are stirred within you.

Does your poem do that to me? I will tell you there was a section that made me remember something someone said to me not too long ago and it melted my heart then, and when I read those words of yours, it made me melt all over again, enough to cause a memory tear to roll down my cheek. It all depends on the person reading the poem, and what they have had in their lives previously.

This is a very interesting idea of trying to understand what erotic is and what it means. Erotica is all in the mind, created from personal or made-up thoughts. Those thoughts create warmth flooding your body and those memories linger until the next time something touches you in the same way, creating much more intense mental and physical emotions.

Without sounding terrible, erotica is an orgasm of sorts that happens inside your mind. I don't mean the physical aspects of orgasm, Dillinger, I mean it's all about the mental properties. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?

Enchanted

 

[Dillinger]

Thank you all for your comments. I find this an interesting discussion and do hope it can continue. I'm curious about what other's might think. I do feel that eroticism is a very elusive and personal thing and can even change for an individual at different times depending on their mood, their state of mind.

Enchanted - I have to say that just reading your words describing eroticism were erotic in and of themselves. I love the connection you made between words bringing back savored memories. Beautiful. I think there is much of that in good creative writing. The author's words being able to elicit such strong memory or even create what we might call 'new memories' - things we haven't actually experience yet the words are so powerful that we are transported to such places as if we had truly been there.

So yes, I do understand. Very much so.

An "orgasm of the mind." I think with that term you're not very far from what daughter is saying, just with different words... at least that is how I see it. We all use certain words to describe what is going on internally - and no words can quite do it properly. Its what we strive for when we write a poem and its even harder to capture when discussing a subject in a straightforward manner like we are doing here. A poem is actually much better suited to the task. But still, I find this educational. And I appreciate getting to know each of you better though your opinions here.

daughter - I think we may have gotten tied up in a matter of terminology rather than actuality, yes?

As you said - "It isn't that being bare can't be erotic." - Bare or complex or any level inbetween - its the poets skill that conveys the eroticism. My poem seems to have worked for some, but not for others. Not surprising since our tastes and outlooks are unique to each of us.

"In terms of complexity. I'd like you to define that. As I stated, I prefer uncomplicated lines. That does not mean my poems lack depth and complexity. I'd argue the contrary. My word choices are deliberate. I think long about connotations and the interpretations they might elicit. It takes considerable effort to say something complex when you choose to restrict the space in which you will say it. "

You ask me to define complexity. I guess that on one level I find something to be complex when it is hard to understand. For example, I have spent many hours - days... reading and re-reading various books on Quantum Theory - even Hawking's works which are generally considered easier to understand then most. Reading and re-reading the various properties and intereactions of sub-atomic particles. Reading and re-reading until I felt I had at least a working understanding of what was being described. This is an example of something that is complex by nature... or at least complex in our understand of how to describe a natural process. Perhaps sometime in the future a new science will emerge that will explain these things in easier to understand ways.

Other things can be describe more simply. Like the color of someone's hair. Yet a good writer can take something like "his hair was black" and turn it into a whirlwind ride of rollercoaster descriptiveness. In this case the creative urge that leads to more descriptive terminology enhances rather than detracts.

But there are cases where I feel writers and poets mask lack of actual talent or real creativity with a barrage of words. Complexity for complexity's sake. Either the poet has something to say - and a creative way to say it - whether simple or comples - or he does not. However I will maintain that it is easier to hide lack of talent behind pseudo-complexity then it is to do so when stating something simply.

You also talk of line and space. Those are very important concepts to me. It has been a frustration of mine since day one that I can't post my poems "architectually." Many of my works have a form that utilizes the full measure of a page - spacings - indents, center - offsets... yet here at Lit I'm limited to one space between words and not much more than left justified. I believe the placement of words on a page can be as effective as the choice of words themselves and can greatly add to the impact of a poem - in a way, substituting the layout for the lack of hearing a voice speaking the words. I happen to compose music the same way and have been using the spacial relationships of various rooms in my compositions for a good quarter of a century now - long before we had 5.1 sound I was creating works with groups of musicians in different areas of the room and recordings that required a minumum of 4 speakers to properly reflect to tonal space.

" Inspiration for my work is often spontaneous. I capture the essence quickly. Crafting the art of it is work, effort that I am passionate about.
Inspiration for my work is often spontaneous. I capture the essence quickly. Crafting the art of it is work, effort that I am passionate about."

I too get most of my inspiration spontaneously. Though I also find that I am more easily find that inspiration when working under pressure. Crafting the work to me is sounding out the flow of the words. Choosing the right word in each instance... and more often going with my gut. I have re-worked poems and stories only to find out that I lost the fire of the original inspiration in doing so. I edit to a certain extent but I try and maintain what inspired me in the first place - the words that come out in that first rush more often then not are the ones that I find most satisfactory in the final analysis. To me, anyway.

 

[stargirl32]

ok i have a question out off all of the poems in the lit new erotic poems today.. which one is your favorite and why???

 

[Unmasked Poet]

Stargirl32

That is a rather large question. Be patient, stick around, and many of will answer.

U.P.

 

[HomerPindar]

An erotic poem is a poem first. That means it must appeal to the reader through its style, form, structure, meter, rhythm, and linguistic nuances. But an erotic poem is also a seducer. To me, an erotic poem is a successful poem which seeks (often successfully) to seduce the mind rather than the cock or the pussy. It's art through artifice--the mind behind the brain. In a hamfisted analogy--it's the self that you want to fuck, rather than the body.

Damn straight...well enough said to be quoted again. And, with this in mind, Dillinger, would you consider rewriting the poem you used to start this thread to clearly fit into the catagory of erotic? I dare say, it's a challenge worth the try, don't you think?

HomerPindar

 

[TheDR4KE]

Re: what makes a poem erotic?

Plenty of good answers already, and I'm repeating a little when I say, for me, whatever makes anything erotic. It's a trigger to a non-rational aspect of yourself. A poem could just be about stockinged feet, the slight rasp of the material as they slide out of the shoes, along the floor and then onto your bed, there in the dark, in a hospital room. Hmm ... I'm getting carried away ;-)

I very much appreciate your comments, gp. I do believe that it is all very personal for each of us, what makes something erotic, and what doesn't. But I wonder what the possible common denominators are.

Common denominators? For humans? ROFLMAO

To use my above example, I believe (other than a few fetishists) that we would all agree that a poem about boxing is not erotic... hmmm... or, perhaps, some better example - a poem about fishing is not erotic. A poem about studying for a mid-term is not erotic (unless you end up having sex with your study partner). In fact, this discussion of eroticism is NOT erotic.

It's all in how you tell it. Any of these and all of these could be subjects of erotic poetry.

So again... what makes something erotic - what are the essential elements?

Take the reader by the hand. Seduce them. Make them want whatever it is they most want.

Here are some quick and dirty non-edited (I've been reading the 'question' poetry writing thread ;-) examples of erotic poetry based on your non-erotic topics:


at the gym

muscles and sweat
the smell of men
not at war
not afraid
no hate
hitting
muscles
and sweat
later at the club
when I'll want them
to hit on me



Ocean and Beach

Ocean and beach.
Some meditate, some read, some sun.
I look at the water, mostly,
and keep my focus on the line.
The worst is the joggers.
Tiny bikinis highlighting
the bounce and curves and softness.
But this morning it's just me and the fish!
And the bulge that I turn to hide.



Is it poetry? Is it erotic? If there is any common thread to erotica it is the reader, not the subject.

Drake

 

[stargirl32]

what i ment by my question was which poem ,of the ones in lit ,today, do you find erotic? not including your own... of course..lol.....and why does it appeel to you.. what made it erotic for you? then give us an example of it ... thank you

 

[MissTaken]

Here is a poem I find highly erotic and aesthetically pleasing. It conjures up feelings of desire and longing .

What I like about this piece is also that it adds to the senses beyond sexuality. The setting is clear and depicted so well I can imagine myself as the subject of the poem.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=6551

I have tried to write good erotic poetry, but become frustrated as become immersed in the tactile and visual images. I enjoy poetry that strikes all of the senses, including scent, taste and sound. It isn't necessary for all poems to categorically define the five senses, but a poem with structure and flow that assaults as many senses as possible, is far more enjoyable reading for me.

ON the other hand, there are times I read poetry strictly to enjoy the play with words.

 

[mskittykatt]

i keep checking back to this thread to see what other people are saying, it's a really fine line between erotic and non erotic for me sometimes. i submitted a poem i wrote, in a fury of tapping keys in a heated passion the other night, and now looking back on it, i'm thinking i should have put it in non erotic.something which seemed so intense and erotic to me at the time, seems a pale comparison today to the feelings i had then...
<<sigh>> what does the jury say?
where could things have been different to make this throb with the feelings i had? i'm going to try a rewrite, and see if any of what i feel matches what anyone might say could help...

Mother Night
by mskittykatt ©
Cornflower blue eyes stare through lush, golden lashes
Piercing my thoughts like crinkling, aged tissue
calling forth lifetimes of hunger and longing

The sun’s last rays caught in long, curly tresses,
yellow fire cascades down her back in thick abundance
It beckons me, to play in the space between dusk and dawn

Glints of silver shine brightly down from moonlit skies
reflecting Nyx’s smile across lucid, porcelain skin
her shimmering skin commands the most delicate touch

her slender arms hide the power of gods
encircling my mortal flesh with tender force
my cheek rests against firm, wintry breasts

An eternity passes in a moment, spinning round itself
Promising, what my soul craves, each cell cries
the howl of the night envelopes, seduces…

Scarlet, painted lips press against mine, searching
Her eager tongue slides between parted lips
Probing, Questioning, Exploring, Demanding

She gives name to my darkest desires, without word.
____________________________________________________
Sister Night


Cornflower blue eyes stare through lush, golden lashes
piercing my thoughts as easily as coloured, crinkly tissue
Calling forth lifetimes of hunger and longing

The sun’s setting rays are trapped in long, curly tresses,
Yellow fire cascades down her back in thick abundance,
beckoning me to play in the space between dusk and dawn.

Glints of silver float down from clear moonlit skies
reflecting Nyx’s cool smile, across smooth, porcelain skin
Her flesh commands the most delicate of touches

Her slender arms hide the power of Gods beneath tender skin.
Encircling my mortal flesh with tender force, she draws me close
My cheeks pressed against her firm, wintry breasts

An eternity passes in a moment, spinning round itself
Promising what my soul craves, each cell cries, reaching out
The howl of the night envelopes, seduces…

Scarlet painted lips find mine, searching for warmth
Her eager tongue slides between parted lips
Probing, Questioning, Exploring, Demanding.

She gives name to my darkest desires, without word.

 

[stargirl32]

i was just reading the new poems and some one has wrote something in response to this thread ..
what does the rest of you think of it?? i thought it was very good .




http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=36433

 

[mskittykatt]

the quest

This seems more romantic, then erotic to me, perhaps it's just that i'm not into the roleplay, knights and princess' thing.
however i think i understand what people are talking about when they are speak of the importance of line breaks, except that i think i got sea sick from choppy waves. i had to read through it twice, i kept loosing my place.
but since i've already lost my mind, losing my place is a trivial thing!

 

[stargirl32]

did you read it propely.. the was a great use of simerlies in there(( bad spelling i know but iam in a hurry))

 

[Unmasked Poet]

Erotic?

Stargirl32,

It is difficult to say what is erotic and non-erotic, we all know it when we read it. Some poems are universally erotic, (meaning the majority of people find and receive a mental/sensual feeling of some kind.) This poem is not erotic for me, Once I enter the "cavern" I am simply dark and cold. It does dabble at the romantic yet mskittykat has properly surmised this poem.
Bad structure, no line breaks, no stanzas, consistently misplaced words and images, clumsy words, misspelled words. Similes I can't find them in the dark! This poem is collasping under the weight of too much of everthing, and all of sits on top of poor grammar. It is just too hard to read! By the end of my spelunking I am exhausted and it is not a pleasurable release. I won’t talk about cliché. This reads more like a themed role-playing scene and not a poem.

I believe, nebula33 can write but this does not showcase his/her talents.

U.P.

 

[mskittykatt]

he he he

Wow! I didn't know that I had know how to read poetry properly before I could share my opinion about the erotic nature, or lack thereof, regarding poetry in the poetry feedback section of Literotica!
But since you brought it up, the use of Simile in poetry, does not have the power, in and of itself, to make a poem erotic. It is simply a preferred, or useful writing tool for some authors.
I do see, and understand his use of simile, in the above mentioned poem. All I said was I, personally, don't appreciate it.

Main Entry: sim·i·le
Pronunciation: 'si-m&-(")lE
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Latin, comparison, from neuter of similis
Date: 14th century
: a figure of speech comparing two unlike things that is often introduced by like or as (as in cheeks like roses) -- compare METAPHOR

 

[stargirl32]

its my own fault i suppose.. i asked for an opinion


and ill admit its not my best work todate..... but i just wanted to try and figure out what every one wanted
lol you know what they say about be carefull what you wish for ..

its a skill to take criticisms you know
a skill i pratcise daily..

 

[Jazzy2]

listen, gurlfriend

star--

If you're Nebula or her gurl, that's cool. If you personally wanted feedback, why didn't you just ask?If you know it' ain't your best work, why didn't you expect people to point out what was funky?

mskitty and U.P. are far more diplomatic than me. I read all Neb's work the first time you showed up. I didn't comment because it reads like 90% of the profound stuff on this site. Sorry, it ain't deep. It ain't erotic. Flat out, no flavor. The bad spelling got on my last nerve. The lines that go on forever without coming up for air and the cliches just made my eyes roll to the back of my head.

Poetry is more than pretty, romantic lines. Hell, I could write that fluff and I ain't frontin' to be a poet.

Two critics were polite to you. Appreciate it.

Jazzy2

 

[HomerPindar]

i was just reading the new poems and some one has wrote something in response to this thread ..
what does the rest of you think of it?? i thought it was very good .
[

One thing this poem does have a chance of displaying is in how the concept of erotic changes over the years. The romantic elements could easily have been erotic in a more chivalrous time. Today, with sex and violence more or less common place, erotica has to be more intense than the suggestion or simile of something erotic.

Unfortunately, the one thing this poem does display better than the change in erotica is in the need to proof read. Too many misplaced coma's, spaces, and characters that could have easily have been removed with a single proofreading.

HomerPindar

 

[Whispersecret]

Nebula/Stargirl, you might consider asking a volunteer editor for help, or just asking for help proofreading here. I used to volunteer to edit stories, but found it took hours or days. To proof a poem of twenty or so lines wouldn't take that long at all, especially if I restrained myself from making comments about anything else.

Punctuation and standard spelling were invented to make things easier to read. If you include them in your poems, as well as your posts, you will be doing your readers a tremendous favor.

At the very least you can scan your own work and perhaps look for these few things:

1. Capitalize any use of the word "I."

2. Make sure your sentences start with capitals and end with periods, question marks, or exclamation points.

3. Subjects and verbs must agree. For example, this is wrong: "I does not like that." It should read, "I do not like that." If you're a native English speaker, read your stuff aloud and see if it "sounds right." Most people for whom English is their first language have an inherent sense of what is correct. If you are not one of these people, seek assistance. Like I said, proofing a poem would take about fifteen minutes.

4. Contractions need apostrophes. We're talking about words like "I'll" which is "I will," "don't" which is "do not," etc. The best way to remember where the apostrophe goes is to think about it taking the place of the missing letters.

Hope this was helpful.

 

[Dillinger]

Damn straight...well enough said to be quoted again. And, with this in mind, Dillinger, would you consider rewriting the poem you used to start this thread to clearly fit into the catagory of erotic? I dare say, it's a challenge worth the try, don't you think?

HomerPindar

I'm honestly not totally convinced that it isn't erotic. I know from some email I've gotten that there are at least some who do find it erotic. Perhaps it is much more subjective then any of us realize. Perhaps it depends on your frame of mind at the time of reading.

Can I re-write it to "cleary fit into the category of erotic?" I will think about it. Though I like the poem, erotic or not, I'm not sure I desire to re-write it. There are quite a few poems in the erotic category that I do not find erotic. But others do, I guess. I can make it more explicit - which I guess would perhaps make it "more" erotic... but it would be a different poem then, wouldn't it? And this whole thread is more about trying to find that line - if there is one - between erotic and non-erotic - or just to find what does it for different people at different times... and why...

I
I want
I want to fuck you

I
I crave
I crave your body, your soul

I
I need
I need to touch you, taste you

I, you
Want
SHIVER!

I, you
Crave
BLISS!

I, you
Need

Want
Crave
Need

Shiverbliss

Complete me
Complete us

I you me
We

 

[Blue Dolphin]

Erotic?

The only thing that makes a poem erotic, is the mind of the reader.
Stargirl has written some poems that I personaaly found extremely erotic.
very arousing indeed.
The spelling mistakes and missed capitals, in the context of what I was reading, and enjoying, theyw ere immaterial.
Ineed one could say they lend an air of raw sexuality to the work.
P

 

[smithpeter]

what

I think an erotic poem is one that makes me think erotically.
I was very turned on by one of Wicked Eve's poems. It hit me just right.
When I learned that I naively did not know it was about an old piece of furniture it only made the attraction greater. She had done something to my brain. Literally.
An erotic poem does not need to make one wet or erect. But, there is a possibility that when it is still thought about days later that an impact was made.

A wound of passion
Is often followed

 

[mskittykatt]

no fair, where's the link to the poem Smithpeter?? <sigh> okay okay, i'll go look for it myself. i hate manual labor. <g>

 

[smithpeter]

sorry

I should have done this.
WickeEve's poem.

 

[Ded Poet]

two cents

smithpeter,
Thanks for sharing that WickedEve poem with us. Wonderful example. I feel pretty sure this one approaches what U.P meant by 'universal'...the language is a turn-on, the rhythm, the cleverness, everything--and the witty metaphor only adds to the attraction.

Dill,
No offense man, but if you took a step back and read your thread-starter piece as if someone else had written it, would you be arguing that it was 'erotic'? Do you honestly, objectively, believe that it is a good poem? You can claim 'subjectivity' all you want, but in art all things are not equal. Sure, you can get a few people to say they like ANYTHING, and they may mean it. If you choose to take those people's praise seriously while ignoring the vast majority of critical opinion, then so be it. However, if that is the case, why bother posting it in the first place?

In all honesty, I think you know as well as anyone that 'We' is not only not erotic, but it is highly doubtful as to whether or not it even qualifies as
a poem.

Just MHO.

DP