What's your favorite quote?

[ruby_my_dear]

On the lighter side..because I'm a soccer mom

Some people believe football is a matter of life and death, I am very disappointed with that attitude. I can assure you it is much, much more important than that. -Bill Shankly:

 

[Lord_Michael]

Garrison Keillor

"Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which, once you have got it, you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known."

 

[Sangsuesub]

This is America... you don't make money, you're a fucking douchebag
--Mr French, the Departed

 

[1Wheels111]

Cultivate your curves - they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided.
Mae West

 

[StrayKat]

I just found one today in somebodys sig on another forum. I should add it to every PM I answer just to make things clear:
"I really do appreciate your opinion and all, but My dynamic is not a democracy and you don't get a vote."

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

"Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes."

~Henry David Thoreau

 

[Vindrith]

So many quotes, so little time

If I'm repeating... well they're just worth it.

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
Herm Albright

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
Douglas Adams

I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, And that enables you to laugh at life's realities.
Dr. Seuss

What's the point of havin' a rapier wit if I can't use it to stab people?
Jeph Jacques

I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
Robert McCloskey

 

[Rolando2]

“Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man ... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you. He loves you and he needs money.”
― George Carlin​

 

[Lord_Michael]

@ Vindrith: good ones!

Here's one from The Greatest:

"A man who views the world at 50 the same way he did at 20, has wasted 30 years of his life."

--Muhammad Ali

 

[Lord_Michael]

unknown

"While we're growing up, a lot of us spend a good deal of time worrying about what the world thinks of us. By the time we reach 50, we realize the world wasn't paying that much attention."

 

[His_pet_slut]

A new favorite

“There is something about words. In expert hands, manipulated deftly, they take you prisoner. Wind themselves around your limbs like spider silk, and when you are so enthralled you cannot move, they pierce your skin, enter your blood, numb your thoughts. Inside you they work their magic.” ~Diane Setterfield

 

[Skaoi]

“There is something about words. In expert hands, manipulated deftly, they take you prisoner. Wind themselves around your limbs like spider silk, and when you are so enthralled you cannot move, they pierce your skin, enter your blood, numb your thoughts. Inside you they work their magic.” ~Diane Setterfield

This, this, this. Thank you for this quote.


"If you were my homework I'd do you everyday in every possible way."


I think grad school is starting to ruin my sex life.

 

[Felix_Jones]

Leaders are like eagles, we have neither of them here.

 

[Lord_Michael]

Garland Jeffreys

"I'm not getting any younger, but I sure don't feel very old."

"Til John Lee Hooker Calls Me"

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

The years teach much which the days never knew. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

Father Time is not always a hard parent, and, though he tarries for none of his children, often lays his hand lightly upon those who have used him well; making them old men and women inexorably enough, but leaving their hearts and spirits young and in full vigour. With such people the grey head is but the impression of the old fellow's hand in giving them his blessing, and every wrinkle but a notch in the quiet calendar of a well-spent life. ~Charles Dickens

***

It's sad to grow old, but nice to ripen. ~Brigitte Bardot

***

When I can look Life in the eyes,
Grown calm and very coldly wise,
Life will have given me the Truth,
And taken in exchange - my youth.
~Sara Teasdale

***
We turn not older with years, but newer every day. ~Emily Dickinson

 

[His_pet_slut]

"I went through this phase - Am I gay? Am I straight? And then I realized... I'm just slutty. Where's my parade?" ~Margaret Cho, but I could have totally said just this very thing.

 

[ArchLady03]

"I'm not a psychopath, Anderson, I'm a high-functioning sociopath, do your research."

From Sherlock, 'A Study in Pink'

 

[Lord_Michael]

George Carlin

“Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man ... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you. He loves you and he needs money.”

 

[Spirited_woman]

Re: 'Famous Last Words'...

Some of these made me smile, so hopefully some, may tickle 'you' too...

Famous Last Words...

1) Inscription on a tombstone:
"I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK"
Seen in Ashland, New Hampshire

2) I wonder why he shot me?
Huey P. Long,
governor in Louisiana, was murdered.

3) I drank what?
Said to be the last words of Socrates

4) Go away... I'm alright.
Last words of H. G. Wells

5) I am about to -- or I am going to -- die; either expression is used.
Last words of Dominique Bouhours, French grammarian

6) Life's too short -- ride your best horse first.

7) Con tu adios
te llevas
mi corazon

With your goodbye
You take with you
My Heart

8) I just had 19 shots of whiskey, I think thats a record.
Dylan Thomas

9) ...my possessions for a moment of time
Elizabeth I

10) He wasn't paranoid, they really were after him.
Epitaph

11) No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.
Jeff Wall

12) Damn you all, I told you so!
Epitaph, H.G. Wells

13) I had a lover's quarrel with the world
Epitaph of Robert Frost

14) WC Fields' accountant was standing by his deathbed. Fields asked "So I have enough money to buy every child in NYC a new bicycle?" When told he was correct, Fields said "Well, fuck 'em."

15) I knew that this would happen.
Ivan Hernandez

16) Life is too big to ignore, but too insignificant to pay attention to.
John Mezz

17) Go on, get out - last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
Karl Marx to a housemaid

18) People will always follow a good example; be the one to set a good example, then it won't be long before the others follow. How lovely to think that no one need wait a moment, we can start now, start slowly changing the world! How lovely that everyone, great and small, can make their contribution toward introducing justice straightaway. And you can always, always give something, even if it is only kindness!

Anne Frank

19) Oh crap, I've wasted my life
Comic book store guy from "The Simpsons" in response to a neutron bomb from France about to hit him.

20) The suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.
Oscar Wilde

21) Destiny is not a matter of chance. It is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for. It is a thing to be achieved.

Someone's tombstone

22) Here's to the crazy ones... the misfits; the rebels; the troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules, and they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do, is ignore them; because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.

23) On being urged to make his peace with God. -"I did not know that we had ever quarreled."
Henry David Thoreau

24) I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis.
Last words of Humphrey Bogart

25) On the contrary
Henrik Ibsen when his wife said he looked better

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

Some of these made me smile, so hopefully some, may tickle 'you' too...

Famous Last Words...

1) Inscription on a tombstone:
"I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK"
Seen in Ashland, New Hampshire

2) I wonder why he shot me?
Huey P. Long,
governor in Louisiana, was murdered.

3) I drank what?
Said to be the last words of Socrates

4) Go away... I'm alright.
Last words of H. G. Wells

5) I am about to -- or I am going to -- die; either expression is used.
Last words of Dominique Bouhours, French grammarian

6) Life's too short -- ride your best horse first.

7) Con tu adios
te llevas
mi corazon

With your goodbye
You take with you
My Heart

8) I just had 19 shots of whiskey, I think thats a record.
Dylan Thomas

9) ...my possessions for a moment of time
Elizabeth I

10) He wasn't paranoid, they really were after him.
Epitaph

11) No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.
Jeff Wall

12) Damn you all, I told you so!
Epitaph, H.G. Wells

13) I had a lover's quarrel with the world
Epitaph of Robert Frost

14) WC Fields' accountant was standing by his deathbed. Fields asked "So I have enough money to buy every child in NYC a new bicycle?" When told he was correct, Fields said "Well, fuck 'em."

15) I knew that this would happen.
Ivan Hernandez

16) Life is too big to ignore, but too insignificant to pay attention to.
John Mezz

17) Go on, get out - last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
Karl Marx to a housemaid

18) People will always follow a good example; be the one to set a good example, then it won't be long before the others follow. How lovely to think that no one need wait a moment, we can start now, start slowly changing the world! How lovely that everyone, great and small, can make their contribution toward introducing justice straightaway. And you can always, always give something, even if it is only kindness!

Anne Frank

19) Oh crap, I've wasted my life
Comic book store guy from "The Simpsons" in response to a neutron bomb from France about to hit him.

20) The suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.
Oscar Wilde

21) Destiny is not a matter of chance. It is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for. It is a thing to be achieved.

Someone's tombstone

22) Here's to the crazy ones... the misfits; the rebels; the troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules, and they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do, is ignore them; because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.

23) On being urged to make his peace with God. -"I did not know that we had ever quarreled."
Henry David Thoreau

24) I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis.
Last words of Humphrey Bogart

25) On the contrary
Henrik Ibsen when his wife said he looked better

Thoreau, Wilde and Frost' remarks are just so delicious. And I really did not know where the original Willy Wonka movie had stolen Wonka's line re. suspense - that's so Wilde. Tip-o-the purple top hat.

 

[Lord_Michael]

@Spirited_Woman: good ones!

Here are a couple more I recall:

"This is funny."
-- Doc Holliday

"Suppose...........suppose."
-- Wyatt Earp to Josephine Marcus Earp

A tombstone in Tombstone:
Here lies
Lester Moore
four slugs
from a .44
no Les
no more.

 

[justsomeotherguy]

You exceeded your storage space with messages. You have to delete in order to receive more ims.

Some of these made me smile, so hopefully some, may tickle 'you' too...

Famous Last Words...

1) Inscription on a tombstone:
"I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK"
Seen in Ashland, New Hampshire

2) I wonder why he shot me?
Huey P. Long,
governor in Louisiana, was murdered.

3) I drank what?
Said to be the last words of Socrates

4) Go away... I'm alright.
Last words of H. G. Wells

5) I am about to -- or I am going to -- die; either expression is used.
Last words of Dominique Bouhours, French grammarian

6) Life's too short -- ride your best horse first.

7) Con tu adios
te llevas
mi corazon

With your goodbye
You take with you
My Heart

8) I just had 19 shots of whiskey, I think thats a record.
Dylan Thomas

9) ...my possessions for a moment of time
Elizabeth I

10) He wasn't paranoid, they really were after him.
Epitaph

11) No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.
Jeff Wall

12) Damn you all, I told you so!
Epitaph, H.G. Wells

13) I had a lover's quarrel with the world
Epitaph of Robert Frost

14) WC Fields' accountant was standing by his deathbed. Fields asked "So I have enough money to buy every child in NYC a new bicycle?" When told he was correct, Fields said "Well, fuck 'em."

15) I knew that this would happen.
Ivan Hernandez

16) Life is too big to ignore, but too insignificant to pay attention to.
John Mezz

17) Go on, get out - last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
Karl Marx to a housemaid

18) People will always follow a good example; be the one to set a good example, then it won't be long before the others follow. How lovely to think that no one need wait a moment, we can start now, start slowly changing the world! How lovely that everyone, great and small, can make their contribution toward introducing justice straightaway. And you can always, always give something, even if it is only kindness!

Anne Frank

19) Oh crap, I've wasted my life
Comic book store guy from "The Simpsons" in response to a neutron bomb from France about to hit him.

20) The suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.
Oscar Wilde

21) Destiny is not a matter of chance. It is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for. It is a thing to be achieved.

Someone's tombstone

22) Here's to the crazy ones... the misfits; the rebels; the troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules, and they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do, is ignore them; because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.

23) On being urged to make his peace with God. -"I did not know that we had ever quarreled."
Henry David Thoreau

24) I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis.
Last words of Humphrey Bogart

25) On the contrary
Henrik Ibsen when his wife said he looked better

 

[TarevaChine]

Some quotes from Byron Katie that I enjoy.

“Nothing outside you can ever give you what you’re looking for.”

“We’ve been looking outside us for our own peace. We’ve been looking in the wrong direction.”

“Don't be careful. You could hurt yourself.”

“Don't believe every thing you think.”

“No one can give you freedom but you.”

 

[Felix_Jones]

Never trust anyone within whom the desire to punish is strong.