What's your greatest insecurity?

[Strixaluco]

One of my insecurities is deeply based in experience. That people find me not interesting enough, or perhaps too weird in some way, and just bare with me instead of wanting my company. I am ever the outsider who doesn't really matter. Unless clearly shown otherwise, I assume that to be the case.

And another one is about people only accepting my strong and very independent mask, not the sensitive person that is inside.

And then of course the ever-present imposter syndrome, plus fear of there not being a fitting job for me.

 

[Norfolkguy49]

That people look at the cover and don't see the real me and that I'm not worthy

 

[NRJLIVES4ever]

Sometimes I convince myself that literally everybody hates me.

 

[XShadynzX]

That people look at the cover and don't see the real me and that I'm not worthy

Please don't say that...
You ARE worthy

 

[Norfolkguy49]

Please don't say that...
You ARE worthy

It how I feel . I feel people look at the old guy who isn't fit like a film star and think oh well

 

[XShadynzX]

It how I feel . I feel people look at the old guy who isn't fit like a film star and think oh well

I understand ( been there)

 

[thetiesthatbindme]

That I'm unlovable.

 

[Enchanted_DreamSam]

I don't feel as if anyone understands me. This is why I have a hard time making friends. It makes me feel alone and lonely. Sometimes even when I'm around friends I still feel lonely, I know I need to work on living myself and thinking I am enough. I'd just love to feel proud of myself.

 

[Strixaluco]

It how I feel . I feel people look at the old guy who isn't fit like a film star and think oh well

Most people aren't like film stars, independent of age. Even many film stars aren't like film stars in reality.

 

[Dom70]

May I babble? (I do that sometimes...)
From what I am reading here it seems we all seem to struggle with 'acceptance'. Whether it is we ourselves accepting ourselves...or allowing others to accept us (in our minds, or for real). I am reading that we are not worthy. Worthy of WHAT? Of being 'accepted' by others? (or ourselves?)
Of being "enough"?
Of being "unloveable"?
Of being "misunderstood"?
Of "how I feel"?
and there are more...
Please allow me to ask a couple questions.
1) Who TOLD you that you were any of the above? Did someone TELL you? OR are YOU making that determination? It is natural that we think less of ourselves...and "more" of others. It is easier to see others. Isn't it? THEY have money...THEY have 'looks'...THEY have fame and fortune. I would venture to say that NO ONE 'told you' that you are whatever it is that you are thinking (negatively) about yourself. Honestly....aren't all of the things we listed...negative things? I propose that we adjust OUR attitudes about ourselves ! Reverse it and THINK POSITIVE! I AM ________________ (fill in the blank) enough....loveable....accepted....understood...etc. As long as we don't become obnoxious about WHO we are....we'll be OK!
2) Is it US that allow our circumstances to determine how we think of ourselves? Would you agree that most of the time we get down on ourselves when things go wrong...or are not necessarily "going our way?" I know for me....that is the case. I would venture to say it is, a lot of the time for most of us. Again...we can change our thinking. Can't we? Our circumstances do not determine WHO we are !!!

I just want to encourage us. That's all. We ARE worth it! If we weren't....we would not be here! We are here for a purpose....whatever that might be. I believe that and hope you do too!

ok..am done babbling now. Have a great day and weekend! (My fingers are tired now too!) Hope I didn't piss anyone off with this. If I did....I'm sorry in advance. It was not meant to in ANY way!

 

[Pad_Foot]

Babbling incoherently of messaging too much. Not focusing enough on others’ needs without explaining their needs to them

 

[Strixaluco]

This is inspired by the post of @Dom70 above (though not a straight answer to it)

What I have hard time accepting is how much ability I have lost over the last 20 years. That I can't do what I want. That my former average is now my rare absolute best and now at times I really struggle to even take care of myself. Like, even keep myself fed if I'm alone.

And I've learned the hard way, that it's not really enough for people usually. They get to know me at my best (because only then do I go out and meet new people), and they definitely can't accept the rest once they get to know it. I've been left because, in the end, i was too often too tired.ä. I've left alone despite living alone, and even been outright told that "this house has always had tough mistresses" as an expectation. Heck, one even assumed that shooting exercises would effectively de-stress me after work. Instead of him listening to my worries.

I know what I am. But the expectation what kind of support can I realistically get in a relationship has been set very low by previous partners (though most of them were otherwise good). I am still able to hope, but to be able to truly trust that someone will be there for me, even when there're no non-exhausted days for months...

Even with my current partner, who has been awesome and always has a place for me in his lap, makes me (with all that background) wonder as he prefers not to move together, "to keep the time together special". For me, life is not about the fabulous Friday together, but about that mundane Monday - how does it look?

And frankly, finding friends that accepted me as I am isn't very easy either. Most people only want the nice surface. At work it's even more difficult. Because I do have to earn my living just like the rest...

 

[CEOescape]

As i age my biggest fear is being finding myself alone and cast aside.

 

[Lmizzler]

Sharing my insecurity is a massive insecurity

 

[ALovelyNudist]

Being replaced at work because they find someone better to cheaper (that’s why I’m a bit of a workaholic)

 

[Recooter]

Being replaced at work because they find someone better to cheaper (that’s why I’m a bit of a workaholic)

That is valid!

 

[Mtnmike]

Letting people down, especially family and friends

 

[LostGirlTink]

Really

You don't care what I think lol

I did once

 

[hairball18]

That no one will miss me.

 

[LostGirlTink]

That no one will miss me.

Not true

 

[Azuldrgon]

That my heart has been broken so many times that I am afraid to share it.

 

[FunLi]

I was never the most at ease with women when I was younger, and my wife of 30 years shut down on sex several years ago. This has shattered my confidence and I wonder if anyone will ever find me attractive again.

I relate to this one quite a bit. I was married 17 years, the last 10 years were a struggle with any intimacy unless I initiated..even with that not always leading anywhere. It definitely takes a hit to any confidence and self esteem. The last intimate ‘partner’ I had, well..didn’t seem to end well either so that didn’t help things. It’s a mental battle and leads into my biggest insecurity, in addition to not being attractive I think the bigger one for me is just not being interesting enough as well.

 

[LustfulIntentions2]

I relate to this one quite a bit. I was married 17 years, the last 10 years were a struggle with any intimacy unless I initiated..even with that not always leading anywhere. It definitely takes a hit to any confidence and self esteem. The last intimate ‘partner’ I had, well..didn’t seem to end well either so that didn’t help things. It’s a mental battle and leads into my biggest insecurity, in addition to not being attractive I think the bigger one for me is just not being interesting enough as well.

Much as you said, I find this to be very relatable. I struggle really hard to think that I'm worthy of anyone's attention. So I do a lot of self depricating that is almost certainly some kind of seeking of validation. And I know I'm doing it, and I hate myself for it.

 

[TomTeacher19]

That this is all there ever will be

 

[Dom70]

I think my bigest insecurity is that I am never enough. Not clever enough, not pretty enough, not thin enough, not fun enough, not hot enough and I could go on and on. Never enough, no matter with whom I am. After some time I am simply not enough.

and WHO told you that you were all of this???? hmmm? You respect this person enough to let them make you insecure like this? I hope you do not allow them that my dear.