Wheel Challenge - read and weep.

[Remec]

Ritual

Clean and pure,
the water filled so that
someone lying in it would
bring the level almost to
the brim;

Soapy loofah and brush
sitting in the sink, having
done their work and leaving
skin softly abraded, gently,
so blood comes to the surface
but does not break
through;

Arms still damp from lowering
them into the water, I kneel
on the bathroom rug,
head bowed in prayers to
send them on their way;

One last soak,
one final baptism,
one more item checked off.


~~~~~

 

[champagne1982]

Often when I write the poem comes out really fast (like 15 minutes or so). It's like it bubbles up from my subconscious and I feel what it means but not in a way I can describe. Does anyone else experience that when writing poetry, I wonder?

Yes, this. I often feell that poetry seems to fall onto the page when I write. Even if that writing is meant to be businesslike, I go back and find poetic devices scattered throughout it. Then I feel guilty that it comes so easily when countless others seem to struggle for the right words.

When I let it all sit for a while (2 weeks +) and come back for editing, often that's the difficult part of the process. But then, when I read it, I see assonance or maybe internal rhymes that I had no idea I'd written. It's a bit disconcerting, there are poems that I totally can't remember writing.

But you are my soul sister and I totally identify with your experience of poetry.

 

[Angeline]

Yes, this. I often feell that poetry seems to fall onto the page when I write. Even if that writing is meant to be businesslike, I go back and find poetic devices scattered throughout it. Then I feel guilty that it comes so easily when countless others seem to struggle for the right words.

When I let it all sit for a while (2 weeks +) and come back for editing, often that's the difficult part of the process. But then, when I read it, I see assonance or maybe internal rhymes that I had no idea I'd written. It's a bit disconcerting, there are poems that I totally can't remember writing.

But you are my soul sister and I totally identify with your experience of poetry.

Isn't it fascinating how this happens? I have the same experience of going back to reread a poem, not right away, but maybe a few hours or days later and seeing things I did that I did not recognize at the time of writing the first draft! Often for me it's double meanings of phrases or line breaks that allow for various interpretations. And often a second or semi-hidden meaning will feel portentous to me. I'll think about how I definitely did not try to do that and about how my subconscious finds ways to speak to my conscious self. Poetry can be a mysterious and awe inducing business!

 

[HarryHill]

I've soaked in these perfumed waters all year,
porcelain tubs in tree-houses,
boulder bottomed pools warm in the sun,
the non light of one flickering candle
dim shadows of many lay about the walls,
and where one reached too far
for a metaphor, fell in,
tumbled out the other side,
drip dried but content.

 

[butters]

Isn't it fascinating how this happens? I have the same experience of going back to reread a poem, not right away, but maybe a few hours or days later and seeing things I did that I did not recognize at the time of writing the first draft! Often for me it's double meanings of phrases or line breaks that allow for various interpretations. And often a second or semi-hidden meaning will feel portentous to me. I'll think about how I definitely did not try to do that and about how my subconscious finds ways to speak to my conscious self. Poetry can be a mysterious and awe inducing business!

this ^^ i think we've absorbed more than we realise about how to write and what works where over the years... it can't help but overflow back in the act of writing. like you guys, i generally write first then go back after the crime and see all kinds of things i'm surprised/pleased with and also the not-so-good stuff

I've soaked in these perfumed waters all year,
porcelain tubs in tree-houses,
boulder bottomed pools warm in the sun,
the non light of one flickering candle
dim shadows of many lay about the walls,
and where one reached too far
for a metaphor, fell in,
tumbled out the other side,
drip dried but content.

i absolutely freakin' love this

 

[butters]

Ritual

Clean and pure,
the water filled so that
someone lying in it would
bring the level almost to
the brim;

Soapy loofah and brush
sitting in the sink, having
done their work and leaving
skin softly abraded, gently,
so blood comes to the surface
but does not break
through;

Arms still damp from lowering
them into the water, I kneel
on the bathroom rug,
head bowed in prayers to
send them on their way;

One last soak,
one final baptism,
one more item checked off.


~~~~~

that's horrific stuff right there, remec! a truly appropriate halloween write

 

[UnderYourSpell]

I was looking for a particular poem I'd written some time back but couldn't remember the title so had to read through a few likely ones until I found it. What crossed my mind was .... However did I expect anyone to understand what this meant?!!

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

I was looking for a particular poem I'd written some time back but couldn't remember the title so had to read through a few likely ones until I found it. What crossed my mind was .... However did I expect anyone to understand what this meant?!!

Perhaps that'd make an intrusting challenge, digging up older poems the poet thinks of as problematic in some way and inviting ideas for improvement.

What do you all think?

So, what's next for this challenge? I have to say I was struck by the variety and quality the humble bat tub inspired. Thank you all for participating.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Perhaps that'd make an intrusting challenge, digging up older poems the poet thinks of as problematic in some way and inviting ideas for improvement.

What do you all think?

I think there was a thread for that ages ago, that has slipped away into the cellars!

 

[todski28]

I think there was a thread for that ages ago, that has slipped away into the cellars!

I started on a long time ago it didnt really go anywhere thougb bumped it maybe some one else with a little more time might be ablw to do it some justice

 

[HarryHill]

I started on a long time ago it didnt really go anywhere thougb bumped it maybe some one else with a little more time might be ablw to do it some justice

..
Yep, is this it? Todski's Trivial Thoughts on
..
I want to thank you all for helping me get this wheel of the year all the way around and now relinquish my position as Wheelwright. carry on.

P.S. Boo!

 

[todski28]

..
Yep, it his it? Todski's Trivial Thoughts on
..
I want to thank you all for helping me get this wheel of the year all the way around and now relinquish my position as Wheelwright. carry on.

P.S. Boo!

Nah that was my attempts at being a pseudo intellectual that though he knew something about poetry, turns out I dont know what I think I knew and now it's all pebbles

Nothing woth anything bar a strange sense of loss and rage at setting fire to beautiful things
Inhaling the smoke and pretending
its more than the loss

sifting through the ashes and proclaming
ahha
this here is poetry...

 

[UnderYourSpell]

I swore off giving critiques when I gave one to someone else who appears to have left, took umbrage had a huge hissy fit all over the forum including my right to dare to critique his work nor my ability to do so.

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

I swore off giving critiques when I gave one to someone else who appears to have left, took umbrage had a huge hissy fit all over the forum including my right to dare to critique his work nor my ability to do so.

Critics need tough hides, it's true.

 

[AmericanTrash]

Because Steam

whispers up tendrils
love loosing cotton
hung from the shower

yessss
slow constant

unfurling the gripped
fists until they release

pent and petty fingers
from the frets

until song lives outside
breath

sings sinew and skin
new
again

 

[AmericanTrash]

You understood it perfectly, and your articulation of it helps me understand it better. Often when I write the poem comes out really fast (like 15 minutes or so). It's like it bubbles up from my subconscious and I feel what it means but not in a way I can describe. Does anyone else experience that when writing poetry, I wonder?

I've never been to a mikvah but my grandmother went. It's a tradition lost to me but buried somewhere in me nonetheless.

So thank you.

That feels so good when it happens. Better than anything. Sending you both lovely poemy good vibes.

 

[Angeline]

whispers up tendrils
love loosing cotton
hung from the shower

yessss
...

Spare and lovely.

 

[champagne1982]

Critics need tough hides, it's true.

and poets need tougher than the skin that allows them to get all up about someone's opinion on their words.

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

and poets need tougher than the skin that allows them to get all up about someone's opinion on their words.

S'true dat.