For me it was a neighbor girl that turned me on to it. It happened when i was in middle school. We were swimming in Her parents pool and she just told me to take my swim suit off and i didn't even think about it until after i handed it to her. She could certainly swing a hairbrush.
When did you know? How did you know?
- Thread starter EustaceMcGargle
- Start date
wisk
Experienced
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2010
- Posts
- 81
when did I know how did I know
well my first thoughts were watching early tarzan movies and thinking of what i would like from jane if i discovered her in the jungle
but that was over forty years ago and took many encounters with varying degrees of success to really sort out the right partner for me
well my first thoughts were watching early tarzan movies and thinking of what i would like from jane if i discovered her in the jungle
but that was over forty years ago and took many encounters with varying degrees of success to really sort out the right partner for me
satindesire
Queen of Geeks
- Joined
- Apr 19, 2005
- Posts
- 13,101
I have always been submissive to my partners, and had submissive tendencies before my parents allowed me to date. I always liked to the the "maiden in distress" and the victim who got kidnapped/tied up when it was time to play as children, but I never saw it as unusual. It was just me, so I thought that my feelings were totally normal.
My partners often remarked in my early teens about how 'indulging' and 'coddling' I was, but the term "submissive' didn't come up until I met my first really serious partner at 18. He introduced me to BDSM and got me involved and educated me. We were together for a little over 4 years.
I've considered myself a "submissive' in the BDSM sense ever since then. My current husband/Dom didn't know I was involved in the lifestyle when we met, and although he was very "Alpha Dog" and assertive/Dominant in his everyday life (and the way he treated me) he had no inclinations towards BDSM as a lifestyle until I mentioned it well into a year of our relationship.
When discussing this particular topic with him, he told me that he was always Dominant and very assertive in all his relationships, but the girls he was with didn't always enjoy this sort of behavior so the relationship would eventually fall apart, and he didn't understand that it was because of his need for them to be submissive. He couldn't articulate his need for the Dominant position, so his first relationships were a mess. Once he met me, we 'clicked' right away as friends, and once we started dating, the submission to him (which was natural to me) felt 'right', to him. Now that he's been involved in learning about the BDSM lifestyle, he finally feels like he's found "His Place" in the world.
My partners often remarked in my early teens about how 'indulging' and 'coddling' I was, but the term "submissive' didn't come up until I met my first really serious partner at 18. He introduced me to BDSM and got me involved and educated me. We were together for a little over 4 years.
I've considered myself a "submissive' in the BDSM sense ever since then. My current husband/Dom didn't know I was involved in the lifestyle when we met, and although he was very "Alpha Dog" and assertive/Dominant in his everyday life (and the way he treated me) he had no inclinations towards BDSM as a lifestyle until I mentioned it well into a year of our relationship.
When discussing this particular topic with him, he told me that he was always Dominant and very assertive in all his relationships, but the girls he was with didn't always enjoy this sort of behavior so the relationship would eventually fall apart, and he didn't understand that it was because of his need for them to be submissive. He couldn't articulate his need for the Dominant position, so his first relationships were a mess. Once he met me, we 'clicked' right away as friends, and once we started dating, the submission to him (which was natural to me) felt 'right', to him. Now that he's been involved in learning about the BDSM lifestyle, he finally feels like he's found "His Place" in the world.
FungiUg
Waves at Cats
- Joined
- Nov 20, 2001
- Posts
- 10,242
I remember reading an article about the guy who drew Wonder Woman, and about how he liked drawing a cute woman all tied up and in deadly predicaments... Does make you wonder about some of the other cartoons we used to watch.
Of course, with manga you don't have to wonder.
Honed_Hunger
Experienced
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2010
- Posts
- 47
I knew I was wired different when my first sexual thoughts all contained some element of control and/or spanking my partner before or during sex. Of course I didn't dare to share said '' sick-n-twisted'' thoughts and/or fantasies with anyone, and of course my desires led to much guilt-induced inner turmoil during the early years of my life.
Well before I learned any protocols or rules for the BDSM road, I came up with my own way around some of the guilt by needing the object of my desires to need me to do these things to her and have her enjoy it as much as I did.
It was a lonely road I traveled alone when I don't understand how I could be so horrid, mentally flawed and evil to want to do such things. Over time......... through much research,study and socially networking with other kinksters, I've found a form of peace and acceptance I'd previously never thought was possible!
Cheers to Lit and all the ones I've loved and learned from along the way!
Well before I learned any protocols or rules for the BDSM road, I came up with my own way around some of the guilt by needing the object of my desires to need me to do these things to her and have her enjoy it as much as I did.
It was a lonely road I traveled alone when I don't understand how I could be so horrid, mentally flawed and evil to want to do such things. Over time......... through much research,study and socially networking with other kinksters, I've found a form of peace and acceptance I'd previously never thought was possible!
Cheers to Lit and all the ones I've loved and learned from along the way!
NotSoInnocent89
Virgin
- Joined
- Aug 15, 2010
- Posts
- 3
I was 15-16 when I first remember finding out that I was submissive. I was reading quite a lot of fanfiction and literotica at the time and just something about a guy being in control of a girl turned me on. I don't know if I showed signs before that age or if I was in denial about it like I was about being bi. (I grew up with a very prejudiced home and even to this day I can't talk to my mom about a lot of thigns)
banyangirl
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Mar 30, 2008
- Posts
- 117
Unlike a lot of people here, I didn't really even have a sex drive until I was 18 or so and dating my first boyfriend. I read things like the Beauty series and felt aroused from them, but didn't really know what to do with it from there. My freshman year of college was a huge awakening period for me. After that, I got into BDSM from pure curiosity: by habit I'm more towards pushing the envelope and extremes, and I just started learning a whole lot. My first proper Dom was a FWB, and it got to the point where sitting at his feet while he played video games felt not only natural, but right. I'm transitioning into a D/s relationship with my SO, and it's going quite well so far. He's enthusiastic and willing to be directed, but also firm and creative. I feel that as a submissive, I have my own power: one cannot give orders if they are not followed willingly.
Submissive_Salena
Virgin
- Joined
- Aug 9, 2010
- Posts
- 24
Butterfly from her cocoon...
I had many, many fantasies of being tied up and raped, but forced to have orgasms by a myriad of characters. Although I will admit Sean Connery starred in a good deal of them... laughing... and Zorro, and.. will you get the picture. I was 5 or 6 or so. I loved, loved the romance books that contained snippets of descriptions of women being dominated until they are forced to admit they love him, blah, blah, blah... But the chase, the domination, the control... anyway you get the picture.. I use to fantasize about being spanked and used simply for another's pleasure...
But I never really put 2 and 2 together until I saw the movie the The Secretary about 9 months ago or so. That put the word in my head and I have been researching and reading and chatting to find more information ever since. Although, I have just recently joined the forums and such, it is a wealth of information, but it also almost a study, as in the animal planet. It is a whole new culture.. and I am fascinated.
Discovering this has changed my whole attitude when looking for a mate now. And the funny thing is, now that I see this in myself, I can understand why those relationships did not work out. I use to tell my ex-boyfriend (vanilla) I needed to find a man with bigger balls than mine! Now I know why...
I had many, many fantasies of being tied up and raped, but forced to have orgasms by a myriad of characters. Although I will admit Sean Connery starred in a good deal of them... laughing... and Zorro, and.. will you get the picture. I was 5 or 6 or so. I loved, loved the romance books that contained snippets of descriptions of women being dominated until they are forced to admit they love him, blah, blah, blah... But the chase, the domination, the control... anyway you get the picture.. I use to fantasize about being spanked and used simply for another's pleasure...
But I never really put 2 and 2 together until I saw the movie the The Secretary about 9 months ago or so. That put the word in my head and I have been researching and reading and chatting to find more information ever since. Although, I have just recently joined the forums and such, it is a wealth of information, but it also almost a study, as in the animal planet. It is a whole new culture.. and I am fascinated.
Discovering this has changed my whole attitude when looking for a mate now. And the funny thing is, now that I see this in myself, I can understand why those relationships did not work out. I use to tell my ex-boyfriend (vanilla) I needed to find a man with bigger balls than mine! Now I know why...
FungiUg
Waves at Cats
- Joined
- Nov 20, 2001
- Posts
- 10,242
Hmmm. Have you seen the movie "Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down" starring a rather young Antonio Banderas?
Stella_Omega
No Gentleman
- Joined
- Jul 14, 2005
- Posts
- 39,700
Good call!
Submissive_Salena
Virgin
- Joined
- Aug 9, 2010
- Posts
- 24
Good call!
No, I will defintely put it on my list.. I did see him in Original Sin... mmmm...
Mine's easy to remember as it was just a couple of months ago!
A few months ago I left a long term relationship that had been failing for most of the duration we'd been together. I met a nice girl after, we spent some time and she introduced me to literotica AND she introduced me to her pain fetish. I got to assist a bit. It was all new to me, but so incredibly hot. We didn't last long, but was fun while it lasted.
After I spent some time reading and learning, I realized that it's very likely that I have dominant tendencies and that this was part of why my previous relationship failed.
Live and learn and grow I guess.
A few months ago I left a long term relationship that had been failing for most of the duration we'd been together. I met a nice girl after, we spent some time and she introduced me to literotica AND she introduced me to her pain fetish. I got to assist a bit. It was all new to me, but so incredibly hot. We didn't last long, but was fun while it lasted.
After I spent some time reading and learning, I realized that it's very likely that I have dominant tendencies and that this was part of why my previous relationship failed.
Live and learn and grow I guess.
Its now that i am learning how truly submissive i am. This site has opened my eyes to how fulfilling it is to serve a Master. Like so many others here have said. i always wanted to be chased. Always told the boys no when I really meant yes.
In my 20's i had a boyfriend who wanted to spank me and i ran quickly from that relationship. Now 20 years later i am trying to find someone to spank me.
i had no idea how kinky i was!
In my 20's i had a boyfriend who wanted to spank me and i ran quickly from that relationship. Now 20 years later i am trying to find someone to spank me.
i had no idea how kinky i was!
bookwormblonde
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Jan 28, 2009
- Posts
- 269
Is it intentional, willful masturbation? Probably not. But he is touching himself because it feels good to him. That is masturbation just because it is pleasurable. An orgasm is not required for it to be masturbation.
I started masturbating in the shower when i was 7 or 8, i believe ( i had to work out how old i was in my head, relative to other things). i know i had no idea what i was doing what WHAT I WAS DOING but i felt so good, i kept doing it. i did, however, know that it was not something i should blab about to my mother.
so i could see how a 4 year old might.
I started masturbating in the shower when i was 7 or 8, i believe ( i had to work out how old i was in my head, relative to other things). i know i had no idea what i was doing what WHAT I WAS DOING but i felt so good, i kept doing it. i did, however, know that it was not something i should blab about to my mother.
so i could see how a 4 year old might.
nitaspankin
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 16, 2010
- Posts
- 866
......
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fuckmeat
That all you got?
- Joined
- Apr 19, 2010
- Posts
- 2,492
There was a lot of stuff going on with me as a kid that I simply didn't give enough thought to, or register as different/odd. I don't know when I first began touching myself but it was a young age. When I read fairytales or watched kids' films, I would feel excited when the heroine was captured by the bad guys and disappointed when the blonde, bland hero rescued her. Marriage and motherhood has never really appealed to me, so I didn't see it as much of a 'happily ever after.' I'm told I shunned traditional girls' toys like dolls, babies with prams, miniature household appliances and the like. I was out running around the local woodland in little combat fatigues, making base camps and shooting dead the neighbours' sons. There were 5 boys around my age along that street and I basically became an honorary member of their gang, evening up the numbers for 3 on 3 warfare. The woodland we played in was on private land and so nobody else ever went there, so we could basically do as we pleased.
From a young age, maybe 8 or 10, I would pass the time until I fell asleep fantasising about being kidnapped by those boys. I had no thoughts of them doing anything sexual to me but thinking about being tied up, threatened and hurt got me excited. Also, it's worth bearing in mind that I was in girls' schools until I turned 16 so they were basically the only boys I knew, which no doubt added to how exciting I found these thoughts. I was masturbating by the age of 10 or 12, usually to fantasies of abduction. As my understanding of sex and relationships blossomed, forced kissing and groping began to feature in my abduction and bondage fantasies. We had no computer growing up and I didn't own a word processor until I went to uni at 18 so I didn't watch porn or anything like that.
By the age of 15 I was spanking myself with a wooden spoon and applying clothespins to myself when masturbating. I went through a phase of spanking and scratching myself but I wasn't capable of spanking myself hard enough and the scratches got noticed. Still craving pain, I moved on to the spoon and pins. By the age of 15 I was also menstruating and discovered I was attracted to girls as well as boys. I thought being attracted to girls was shameful and wrong, so I enjoyed 'punishing' myself for that. Being small built, I got bullied at school and began to dwell on sadistic fantasies of revenge that were sexually motivated. I've never been a switch on any level, it's more an indication of how confused and frustrated I was at the time, fused with the powerlessness of being humiliated and physically attacked by bigger girls. That episode in my life brought a new twist to my fantasies, because I used to replay the humiliating things the bullies had said to me, though usually with a man's voice, when I played my masochistic masturbation games. I also played around with a girl in school, which was a casual thing that ended when I left the school rather than staying on for 6th form.
At 16 I went to a local further education college, which was my first experience of mixed schooling. Suddenly there were guys everywhere and I went through a phase of almost total heterosexuality. These guys had mostly had the benefit of going to mixed schools though, so they knew how to act around girls, to flirt and tease. I know that my almost total inability to make eye contact with or talk to guys appealed to my inner sub/maso. Also, I wasn't blind to how they looked at me, I knew their thoughts were purely sexual and that turned me on too; whereas most of the other girls were desperately seeking the fairytale and despaired of finding a teenage boy who wasn't just trying to get laid.
I went out with the first attractive boy who was bold enough to ask me. We hit it off really well and spent the whole night talking. He was a couple of years older that me at 19 (consent here is 16), which meant he drove a car. We went to a quiet spot and I knew what I was doing. I was desperate to learn how sex was supposed to feel. I just let it all happen. I didn't try to slow him down or stop him, I didn't care whether it was a good idea to have sex with him, I didn't have a single inhibition. And I did what I was told. I didn't hesitate or question when he asked me to suck him. When his clumsy attempt to stimulate me didn't work I took matters into my own hand. I knew it would hurt, but I also knew I would enjoy the pain so there was no fear for me. He was trying to be gentle but I was spurring him on, wanting to be hurt and filled and fucked. If I hadn't bled on him he would never have believed I was virgin and he still doesn't believe I hadn't even fooled around with a guy before. I simply gave myself to him. It was a stupid thing to do and within weeks it was clear that he was bad for me but I wouldn't end it. He broke it off... and then spent the next few years trying to get back with me again.
So yeah, that was the when and the how.
From a young age, maybe 8 or 10, I would pass the time until I fell asleep fantasising about being kidnapped by those boys. I had no thoughts of them doing anything sexual to me but thinking about being tied up, threatened and hurt got me excited. Also, it's worth bearing in mind that I was in girls' schools until I turned 16 so they were basically the only boys I knew, which no doubt added to how exciting I found these thoughts. I was masturbating by the age of 10 or 12, usually to fantasies of abduction. As my understanding of sex and relationships blossomed, forced kissing and groping began to feature in my abduction and bondage fantasies. We had no computer growing up and I didn't own a word processor until I went to uni at 18 so I didn't watch porn or anything like that.
By the age of 15 I was spanking myself with a wooden spoon and applying clothespins to myself when masturbating. I went through a phase of spanking and scratching myself but I wasn't capable of spanking myself hard enough and the scratches got noticed. Still craving pain, I moved on to the spoon and pins. By the age of 15 I was also menstruating and discovered I was attracted to girls as well as boys. I thought being attracted to girls was shameful and wrong, so I enjoyed 'punishing' myself for that. Being small built, I got bullied at school and began to dwell on sadistic fantasies of revenge that were sexually motivated. I've never been a switch on any level, it's more an indication of how confused and frustrated I was at the time, fused with the powerlessness of being humiliated and physically attacked by bigger girls. That episode in my life brought a new twist to my fantasies, because I used to replay the humiliating things the bullies had said to me, though usually with a man's voice, when I played my masochistic masturbation games. I also played around with a girl in school, which was a casual thing that ended when I left the school rather than staying on for 6th form.
At 16 I went to a local further education college, which was my first experience of mixed schooling. Suddenly there were guys everywhere and I went through a phase of almost total heterosexuality. These guys had mostly had the benefit of going to mixed schools though, so they knew how to act around girls, to flirt and tease. I know that my almost total inability to make eye contact with or talk to guys appealed to my inner sub/maso. Also, I wasn't blind to how they looked at me, I knew their thoughts were purely sexual and that turned me on too; whereas most of the other girls were desperately seeking the fairytale and despaired of finding a teenage boy who wasn't just trying to get laid.
I went out with the first attractive boy who was bold enough to ask me. We hit it off really well and spent the whole night talking. He was a couple of years older that me at 19 (consent here is 16), which meant he drove a car. We went to a quiet spot and I knew what I was doing. I was desperate to learn how sex was supposed to feel. I just let it all happen. I didn't try to slow him down or stop him, I didn't care whether it was a good idea to have sex with him, I didn't have a single inhibition. And I did what I was told. I didn't hesitate or question when he asked me to suck him. When his clumsy attempt to stimulate me didn't work I took matters into my own hand. I knew it would hurt, but I also knew I would enjoy the pain so there was no fear for me. He was trying to be gentle but I was spurring him on, wanting to be hurt and filled and fucked. If I hadn't bled on him he would never have believed I was virgin and he still doesn't believe I hadn't even fooled around with a guy before. I simply gave myself to him. It was a stupid thing to do and within weeks it was clear that he was bad for me but I wouldn't end it. He broke it off... and then spent the next few years trying to get back with me again.
So yeah, that was the when and the how.
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YourCaptor
Cute Girl Connoisseur
- Joined
- Jun 17, 2007
- Posts
- 4,550
This is why I find these questions hard to answer. I never thought there was something about me that should be called something specific. It wasn’t till I was about 18 that I came across the labels.
Basically I started exploring sex from about age 4-5. I have some vivid memories of that. The earliest events I can’t recall myself, however I’m told I had two girlfriends at the same time, little kids kissing sort of stuff, they would always get me whatever I wanted, tie my shoes, read to me, etc. Apparently I’d also often tie them up with scarves and leave them in the coat closet. Sounds like kinky beginnings to me.
My earliest memory, I had a dream about a girl in my kindergarten class. I walked into the girls room, pushed open a stall, she was on the toilet, mad an scared, and I pissed all over her. That was a bit confusing for me at that time.
I was never really curious about sex though, was just a natural push that made things happen. Till I was about 8 I think, at hat point all the rules changed and I basically avoided them, retreating into myself, till about 15, but by then I wasn't nearly as impulsive. It's weird to think I had more sex at age 5-7 then from 8-17.
Submissive_Salena
Virgin
- Joined
- Aug 9, 2010
- Posts
- 24
Old Movies!
We must not forget all of the old movies with guys like John Wayne, Jimmy Stuart and Rhett Butler!My favorite of course was The musical Kiss Me Kate! (Musical of Shakespeare's The Taming of The Shrew)! Oh man.... I would have fantasies for two weeks after that! Laughing....
We must not forget all of the old movies with guys like John Wayne, Jimmy Stuart and Rhett Butler!My favorite of course was The musical Kiss Me Kate! (Musical of Shakespeare's The Taming of The Shrew)! Oh man.... I would have fantasies for two weeks after that! Laughing....
