When did your fetish become a fetish?

[Bighammerfucker]

I hope this comes across as the way I truly mean it too, as I really hope you can find a therapist and work through this. I say that because it is such a shame to go through life really missing out on other sexual interests besides just one.

It does not really matter if a person has a few sexual things they like, or a lot, of if they progress to a fetish status, or not, but variety is certainly good. As an example, I like a lady that wears high heels and stockings, but I would have discounted a lot of pretty ladies if I had not looked at a woman wearing high heels and jeans as attractive too, or wearing a cheerleading uniform. To hyper-focus on one thing in this great big world we live in, would be so limiting, and in that I am saddened for you.

With cognitive behavior therapy, it is possible to move beyond this, so you get a more rounded life. I wish you the best.

You know, sometimes people legit actually have more narrow interests and enjoy their fetishes how they have them and their lifestyle, and it can actually be pretty damaging to always hear “expand your interests” or “you’re missing out” or “you need a therapist”. Oh also another good one “you have a fetish because of trauma”. Truth be told, I never had trauma before I lived through years of constantly hearing the above until it led me to believe that I was missing out so badly I needed to change myself into someone I wasn’t and it was something I don’t think I’ll ever stop regretting doing or ever fully stop feeling the effects of. Because the lesson I learned from it was that actually, I wasn’t missing out on Jack shit, I was living my best life in a world full of people who thought they knew who I was better than I did.

You don’t know everyone’s story, so don’t imply that others are missing out if they don’t live their life the way that you enjoy yours. You have no idea where they’re coming from or what their experiences are so don’t imply that it’s worse off or deserving of pity. It’s not kind.

 

[CuttingEdge]

I think you make my point rather well.

On the surface what you are saying sounds correct, but it is also self-defeating. About the only fun thing adults do is have sex, and when we use the defense that “don’t change who I am”, all that does is give a person ammunition to stay doing the same thing. That kind of singular mindset is damaging; in the sex world we call it, “being in a rut”. It is often hard to break free of the dopamine trap that singular sexual pleasure can be I know, but when a person goes beyond that one thing they like so much, they gain new experiences, realize other things are also just as attractive, and get more skills in the bedroom.

A rut is bad enough if a person is single, but in any long-term relationship it is downright damaging, and especially so for women who are already objectified. I admitted in a previous post that I like a lady who wears high heels and pantyhose, but how would my wife feel if every time we had sex, she was asked to wear only that? After a while, she would feel as if I was in love with her IN high heels and pantyhose, and NOT HER as a person. That is extremely damaging to any long-term relationship. Letting her explore other clothing choices on a dinner-date is both good for her, me, and ultimately our marriage. If she wears jeans and flip-flops, then it shows I just love her no matter what she wears, but if she chooses to wear heels and pantyhose, then it becomes a little gift to me. In that, she has freedom.

But I get it, you lashed out at me because I challenged you to branch out and experience more, and that can be scary. Freedom always is. My own wife frustrates me, trust me on that, but she also pushes me to be a much better person; not someone different mind you, but a better version of myself. Sometimes it takes seeing a therapist to get over some hurdles to improve ourselves.

Sticking to a singular mindset is like a five-year-old who stomps their feet and hisses, "I like red sneakers and I am only going to have red sneakers all my life". When you look back at that kind of mindset, you can see where hyper-focusing on one specific fetish can be really self-defeating. Relationships all across the world are screaming for people to branch out, and too many ending honestly... because they don't.

 

[TheF1x3r]

I hope this comes across as the way I truly mean it too, as I really hope you can find a therapist and work through this. I say that because it is such a shame to go through life really missing out on other sexual interests besides just one.

It does not really matter if a person has a few sexual things they like, or a lot, of if they progress to a fetish status, or not, but variety is certainly good. As an example, I like a lady that wears high heels and stockings, but I would have discounted a lot of pretty ladies if I had not looked at a woman wearing high heels and jeans as attractive too, or wearing a cheerleading uniform. To hyper-focus on one thing in this great big world we live in, would be so limiting, and in that I am saddened for you.

With cognitive behavior therapy, it is possible to move beyond this, so you get a more rounded life. I wish you the best.

Sorry I'm joining the game half way through here...

Why would a person want CBT if they don't have a problem which has an effect on their quality of life?

 

[CuttingEdge]

Sorry I'm joining the game half way through here...

Why would a person want CBT if they don't have a problem which has an effect on their quality of life?

That's been previously been answered...

 

[TheF1x3r]

That's been previiously been answered...

Not specifically, I mean I get the concept of broader horizons and trying new things..

And I do get your point about not constantly making your sex life about your own fetish.

But taking a stable person and applying CBT can have have unforeseen consequences.

I suppose your argument might be something like "If you don't reduce your dependance upon a given fetish then it will damage your relationships" - does that sound right?

 

[Wonderer67]

I have a thing for feet. Love seeing sexy women’s feet at work in the warmer months with open toe shoes.

And also sexy footwear. High boots, sexy stilettos, patent leather shoes.

Sometimes my wife lets me cum on her feet and/or shoes. It always results in a very hard orgasm.

 

[la_ruche]

Sometimes my wife lets me cum on her feet and/or shoes. It always results in a very hard orgasm.

Borrowing gf’s feet while watching Netflix in the sofa and having them slowly rubbing your crotch. Mmmmm.

 

[Bighammerfucker]

I think you make my point rather well.

On the surface what you are saying sounds correct, but it is also self-defeating. About the only fun thing adults do is have sex, and when we use the defense that “don’t change who I am”, all that does is give a person ammunition to stay doing the same thing. That kind of singular mindset is damaging; in the sex world we call it, “being in a rut”. It is often hard to break free of the dopamine trap that singular sexual pleasure can be I know, but when a person goes beyond that one thing they like so much, they gain new experiences, realize other things are also just as attractive, and get more skills in the bedroom.

A rut is bad enough if a person is single, but in any long-term relationship it is downright damaging, and especially so for women who are already objectified. I admitted in a previous post that I like a lady who wears high heels and pantyhose, but how would my wife feel if every time we had sex, she was asked to wear only that? After a while, she would feel as if I was in love with her IN high heels and pantyhose, and NOT HER as a person. That is extremely damaging to any long-term relationship. Letting her explore other clothing choices on a dinner-date is both good for her, me, and ultimately our marriage. If she wears jeans and flip-flops, then it shows I just love her no matter what she wears, but if she chooses to wear heels and pantyhose, then it becomes a little gift to me. In that, she has freedom.

But I get it, you lashed out at me because I challenged you to branch out and experience more, and that can be scary. Freedom always is. My own wife frustrates me, trust me on that, but she also pushes me to be a much better person; not someone different mind you, but a better version of myself. Sometimes it takes seeing a therapist to get over some hurdles to improve ourselves.

Sticking to a singular mindset is like a five-year-old who stomps their feet and hisses, "I like red sneakers and I am only going to have red sneakers all my life". When you look back at that kind of mindset, you can see where hyper-focusing on one specific fetish can be really self-defeating. Relationships all across the world are screaming for people to branch out, and too many ending honestly... because they don't.

Yeah sure if someone didn’t explicitly ask you not to do it, go ahead I guess. But you don’t know me so don’t pretend to, trust me dude we’re not the same. I was just trying to say the unacknowledged truth that yeah hey sometimes this shit contributes to a situation for others you apparently still can’t take seriously when outright told it exists? What I have to say about myself means zero to you even when literally typed in words. Gives me the vibes that you’re the type who wouldn’t take it seriously the first time a woman says “no”, either.

I came onto this forum to try to see if this time around I could avoid encountering exactly this from the opposite sex. I can’t help but notice it’s always 100% heterosexual cis males who push this type of shit even if they’re told by someone that that person is happy. It’s like y’all can’t comprehend it or feel happy for them or satisfied without your little bit of mansplaining. It’s not original, I’ve been around the block and dudes wanting to say shit like this are a dime a dozen and for me personally I could stomach sexual interaction with them before I encountered too much of it personally, but after years of it yeah it’s safe to say that it utterly killed my attraction to y’all. If so many of you can’t listen to what I say about myself personally and respect me, why do u think it would be healthy for me to take your “advice”.

 

[AlexBailey]

I’ve always been into CDing but when I dressed in my GF’s cheerleader uniform for a day at school things changed to a new level.

I got teased a little but it wasn’t really bad or mean, more things like “oh, that makes sense” or “you actually make a good girl.”

“Good girl” echoed in my mind.

Having the leotard top wedged up my ass when a couple of guys lift my skirt and spanked me…

Then a few years later at a rowdy New Year’s Eve concert guys kept mistaking me for a girl - long hair, a girls esprit T-shirt, and jeans. I got groped over and over again, so many times that I stopped turning around.

It was very confusing and emotionally conflicting. On one had it was violating, and a few times terrifying when I turned around and the groper realized I wasn’t female, so I stopped turning around and it became erotic. I already liked dressing femme, but knowing other guys liked how I looked and wanted me… I especially liked it when one guy grabbed my cheek low and hung on for a minute, pressed up against me in line to get out of the venue.

I was afraid of what he might do if he found out but he disappeared when Iran into my group of friends

I feel a bit guilty about enjoying it as much as I did, but it also gave me a first hand experience of what so many women have to deal with, but it also reinforced a love of being man-handled.

 

[la_ruche]

I’ve always been into CDing but when I dressed in my GF’s cheerleader uniform for a day at school things changed to a new level.

I got teased a little but it wasn’t really bad or mean, more things like “oh, that makes sense” or “you actually make a good girl.”

“Good girl” echoed in my mind.

Having the leotard top wedged up my ass when a couple of guys lift my skirt and spanked me…

Then a few years later at a rowdy New Year’s Eve concert guys kept mistaking me for a girl - long hair, a girls esprit T-shirt, and jeans. I got groped over and over again, so many times that I stopped turning around.

It was very confusing and emotionally conflicting. On one had it was violating, and a few times terrifying when I turned around and the groper realized I wasn’t female, so I stopped turning around and it became erotic. I already liked dressing femme, but knowing other guys liked how I looked and wanted me… I especially liked it when one guy grabbed my cheek low and hung on for a minute, pressed up against me in line to get out of the venue.

I was afraid of what he might do if he found out but he disappeared when Iran into my group of friends

I feel a bit guilty about enjoying it as much as I did, but it also gave me a first hand experience of what so many women have to deal with, but it also reinforced a love of being man-handled.

Such a nice story. Thanks for sharing!

 

[Crownvic]

I know I'm not nearly as wild as most of you but my first fetish was lingerie.
I was buying it and wearing it as soon as I could sneak it past my parents.
I trace it back to a coffee table book my Dad has in his library. It was WW2 nose art, so of course there were tons of pinup style pictures which sort of formed my first thoughts of what was "sexy".
That got me looking at that whole genre, Bettie Page, the Vargas girls, Rita Hayworth.
Then I stumbled on some Dita Von Tease stuff...was looking for a sexy Snow White costume and it was over for me.
What inspired you?
View attachment 2289174

My fetish is sexy ladies wearing red open toe pumps...

 

[Crownvic]

I have a thing for feet. Love seeing sexy women’s feet at work in the warmer months with open toe shoes.

And also sexy footwear. High boots, sexy stilettos, patent leather shoes.

Sometimes my wife lets me cum on her feet and/or shoes. It always results in a very hard orgasm.

High heel open toed sandals or mules...sexy painted toes...gggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

 

[SmokingFap]

This might be very gross to some.

When I started douching my backdoor, it was simply to clean out before sex. There was just the objective to get it all out. Over the years, I think because I have anal sex so often, douching became erotic. When I douche, I know that immense please to my ass is coming. During anal, I feel like I’m pooing at times. I started to love that. So now I have a douching/enema fetish. It’s such a turn on. i use to be with a very sexy man that love watching me go. It was awesome.

I think that's all perfectly lovely and very arousing.

 

[Trubbycat]

When I was in second grade I noticed all the girls and teachers were wearing boots. It’s been there ever since.

 

[mereltje]

Unfortunately I only see/read male fetish experiences . But women/female ( can) have fetishes as well. I'm one of them. Are there more women who want to share their fetish ? I do hope so. I love to tell mine with them. I presume, men are interested as well.

 

[gregy70]

My partner thinks my fetish is stupid, but never seems to complain when I masturbate his penis with sunscreen

That’s Wild!
Makes me feel like having a cock ring fitted to me then experiencing this

 

[JusticeGrey]

Unfortunately I only see/read male fetish experiences . But women/female ( can) have fetishes as well. I'm one of them. Are there more women who want to share their fetish ? I do hope so. I love to tell mine with them. I presume, men are interested as well.

What is your fetish? I'd be very interested to hear about it

 

[mereltje]

The clothing/underwear what an other girl/woman wears. What she choose for the day, opening her closet/drawer.
One of my fetishes.It can make me fell sooooo.

 

[Bisexguy70]

The clothing/underwear what an other girl/woman wears. What she choose for the day, opening her closet/drawer.
One of my fetishes.It can make me fell sooooo.

I feel this way when I'm looking out some kind of undergarment and picking them out. Like when Im in Target and Im getting ready to buy some nice Thigh highs thinking about wearing them for some guy to meet up with later. Or the outfit from my avatar picture. I couldnt wait to get home and try them on. As you see what effect it has.

 

[mereltje]

hmmm sounds good

 

[davion2308]

I was at a younger, indeterminate age and I saw the movie "Splash" with Tom Hanks. Darryl Hannah walked nude across the lawn at the Statue of Liberty and I had my sexual awakening watching that.

I love exhibitionism, voyeurism, public nudity, flashing, and exposure. It's absolutely my thing and I tie it directly to that moment.

 

[Crownvic]

Darryl Hannah..wearing sexy high heels....red hot...

 

[drobert44]

My fetish is sexy ladies wearing red open toe pumps...

The lingerie in the Sears catalog..

 

[frank_ryan2020]

I had a female teacher in high school who would always wear heels and dangle her feet from them. They were always pedicured. It was very sexy. Got into feet as a result. I loved when she wore heels or sandals that showed them off

 

[Crownvic]

I had a female teacher in high school who would always wear heels and dangle her feet from them. They were always pedicured. It was very sexy. Got into feet as a result. I loved when she wore heels or sandals that showed them off

Love the dangle and the Shoeplay...very hot...