When is forgiveness devine????

[FungiUg]

Forgiveness is an act, not just something you say. And there has to be a motivation for it. People who go around forgiving just because they feel they should... are only setting themselves up to be abused or taken advantage of.

The opposite (holding grudges over every small thing) is equally problematic, since it will result in someone being very bitter.

Like all things in life, the path seems to be to choose when to forgive and when to not forgive -- make it a choice, and empower yourself.

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

Re: Re: Re: When is forgiveness devine????

You do not have to forgive. You do yourself a disservice if you hate. Hatred is not good. Indifference works for Me. But forgiveness? No thanks. I am not Jesus Christ.

I have found that I can't hold grudges, as much as I would love to. I love a grudge. There's something in my personality that truly enjoys a grudge...holding it close to my heart and nursing it along and feeding it--and that's fucked up. I've acknowledged that part of myself, and worked very hard to understand it. It gives me a great excuse to pick up a drink, those grudges. I prefer not to do that shit anymore, thanks.

So, I do my best to let things go. There are things in my life that I can't and won't forgive. Things like what Johnny has talked about. Being used and betrayed and cheated on. To me, the ultimate inexcusable sin. I won't forgive, but I can let it go and let the gods judge him. It's out of MY hands and off my back that way. And no longer an excuse to fuck up MY life.

~anelize

 

[FungiUg]

My lover is excellent at "letting things go"... as in never! Of course, she treats them as opportunities for humour, rather than as grudges, and I can't object to that. (For me, life is an opportunity for love, laughter, fun, sex, food, sex, um...)

One of our friends left his cell-phone in my car at one point, and my lover was running around with it to her ear, saying how well it went with her wanting to be a yuppie. Another friend promptly took it off her, and she still reminds him of it to this day.

Still, in terms of people hurting me... I try to understand them, but generally I just accept what has happened and move on. If I can no longer trust someone to not hurt me, then why should I associate with them? It's not about forgiveness, it's just about being true to myself and getting on with my life.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

[rant]And why should you ever forgive betrayal? Why should you forgive someone for using you mercilessly, hurting you intentionally, and then tossing you aside when your usefulness ended? Fuck that, it takes all my force of will not to seek bloody revenge![/rant]

Ya know Johnny i feel that way bout a certain someone....and though i can't speak or look at him without wanting to cry or vomit...i can at least attempt to forgive him in my heart. I have dropped him a few lines (once upon a time) but the reality is i will never trust, love or want him again. Revenge would be nice...but in the end i found better people suited to me....and THAT is the best revenge!!!!

 

[Croctden]

Twist

Could you forgive someone who'd done 101 things for you, major favors, if they made one horrendous mistake?

 

[MissTaken]

Re: Twist

Could you forgive someone who'd done 101 things for you, major favors, if they made one horrendous mistake?

I would certainly question their motivation for all the favors, first?

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Twist

Could you forgive someone who'd done 101 things for you, major favors, if they made one horrendous mistake?

I am suspicious about somene who is constantly in My face, doing anything. I would ask them just what they hope to accomplish. If I didn't like the answer, I would tell them what I think of them and send them on their way.

Unapproved ass kissing is not rewarded, no matter how good it feels.

 

[TwistaFate]

forgiving

a romantic illusion by far, I can forgive almost anything, but somethings are never meant to be forgiven

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

truer words were never spoken...though in reality if the person is worthy of forgiveness than they probably were not bad people to begin with....

 

[TwistaFate]

I myself have asked for forgiveness, but I don't ever see it happening, I messed up too badly, so I deal with the mistakes that I have made, and move on

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Re: Twist

Could you forgive someone who'd done 101 things for you, major favors, if they made one horrendous mistake?

Ever hear "It takes 11 attaboys to erase one awshit?"

Give me a mathematical equivalent between "horrendous mistake" and "awshit" and i'll let you know.

Ok, all bs aside.

We're getting into that "area" between heart and mind tug of war.

i don't see a definitive answer here, and back we go to each their own.

Forgive, yes; forget, don't bet your life on it.

 

[Impish]

only because

[rant]And why should you ever forgive betrayal? Why should you forgive someone for using you mercilessly, hurting you intentionally, and then tossing you aside when your usefulness ended? Fuck that, it takes all my force of will not to seek bloody revenge![/rant]

Anger takes so much energy and is most destructive on you. As one wise person around here said, forgive and forget are two different things. Forgive does not mean loving with open arms either imho.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Re: only because

Anger takes so much energy and is most destructive on you. As one wise person around here said, forgive and forget are two different things. Forgive does not mean loving with open arms either imho.

Well, it isn't an active grudge...I don't think about it alot or anything. It is just that if certain people ever tried to approach me again, at all, I would immediately be faced with the memory of how badly I was hurt, and blow up at them. No biggie, most treacherous whores are smart enough not to return to the scene of the crime.

 

[TwistaFate]

forgiveness

we can all agree on one thing, that to forgive in ones self, is the first step, and that no matter how horrible the crime may be, the person who can forgive and mean it, is a better person of which I was of their caliber

 

[TwistaFate]

thanks for the input

thank you all for the input, you have helped to put alot of things into perspective, and I am grateful for it, you have my heart, many thanks to all of you

Da Twisted One