Who has the control?

[Dreamthiev]

I think that quote is much closer to the truth if put more in context, and you'll also get a better perspective on where the speaker is getting that idea from.

The speaker of the quote is an employee at a high-class private brothel. Every play room is electronically monitored, the members all agree to abide by the rules, and there's enforcers on hand in case someone doesn't. The speaker was able to refuse whichever clients he wished, set whatever limits or resitrictions. There was no negotiaion. And, if the Pyl client didn't abide by the rules, he knew there was help on hand to get him out of the situation.

That's a very different situation from being in a relationship with someone, meeting with them alone, agreeing to limits, and taking it on faith that s/he will abide by them when you're helpless.

I think in the former case, from the quote, the pyl did indeed have all the power. But I think in the real world the power dynamic is much more fluid, depending on the people and circumstances involved.

 

[ShivanDragon00]

I think first off, that every relationship is different, as has been stated by quite a few other people here...

second off, i think there are certain aspects that lend power to someone, even a submissive

1-the power to walk away if they decide to do so
2-the power to approach someone and GIVE their submission away
3-the power to say, these are my limits, abide by them or refer to number 1

these are the three that come to the top of my mind, but im sure if you delve deep enough you'll find more.

Anyway, i think these prove that a sub CAN have power.....can being the key word, because many subs choose to waive the right to their share of the power. Which is fine, but you cannot deny the fact that the power is there for them if they do desire it. Everyone has the right, i believe....to do any of those 3 things...whether they be slave, sub, or just a bottom.....just what it comes down to is, the differences between slave, sub or bottom will usually determine how willing the person is to give up that power.